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Officer, I Can Explain!

posted
Total Posts
282
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z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i'm just delivering them to a animal shelter

you suddenly have:
an axe
severed bloody head
huge blood stains on your top and bottom clothing piece
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
Oh, it's for the drama club. I need to practise my act. Pretty good, right?
---
What's with the:
- Gun with real bullets.
- Death wish.
- Robber mask.
Lott
269 posts
Joined January 2019
Lott
Ah, it's Halloween yesterday and I brought them to scare them (yes, it worked very well!). Please don't think anything bad for me :'(

I saw these in your car's back...
- A tablet with sexy girls
- A laptop
- Some osu! mascot pin sets
Last edited by Lott , edited 1 time in total.
Lapizote
121 posts
Joined January 2016
Lapizote
Hey, don't judge me. I make a shit ton of money making these kinds of merchandise and art. also these girls are at least 18 or above, trust me

--

A shovel
A jug of bleach
A saw
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I craft myself a toilet.

You have
  1. peppy but tied up
  2. A gun
  3. Money
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I challenge peppy to use a water gun with his hands tied, I'll give him 100$ if he manages to.

A map with a circle surrounding a kindergarten.
A 100% genuine charged grenade launcher
A walkie-talkie.
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
the grenade launcher is made out of chocolate
the kids in the kindergarten will get chocolate
i'm talking to the principal so that the kids can be ready

you have:
your car filled with animals of all kinds(it blocking your point with this many)
some helium tanks
huge bag of nothing
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I am a vet, the hellium tanks are... you know, for a party. The huge bag of nothing? I'm gonna put all my trash there.

//////////////////////////////////////


600 barrels of petroleum. Screw spelling.
A lighter.
A private island.
Last edited by Nuuskamuikkunen , edited 3 times in total.
vinnicci
318 posts
Joined December 2015
vinnicci
This is a Matter Ultra Compressor, as the name suggests this tech can hold massive objects and compresses them in a small space without creating a black hole. I'll spare you the details on how it works, right now I'm transfering these objects as a test, please let me pass.


fur suit
diaper
deviant art account
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I'm babysitting, the fursuit and the deviantart account are from his elder brother.

---------------------------------

Ammonia.
Sodium hypoclorite.
A toilet.
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i'm just cleaning my toilet with those chemicals

you have:
a bomb
a activated grenade
a box of explosives in the back
ninore
Beatmap Nominator
483 posts
Joined January 2020
ninore
Officer, those are all cake. They're delicious. Give them a try.

You have:
classified evidence of the moon landing being faked.
Zelzatter Zero
4,063 posts
Joined October 2016
Zelzatter Zero
I have permission to bring this for students for military purpose. You can take all activated grenade for the isolation.

I'm just collecting some conpiracy theory about it on the web.

-----------------

A nuclear rocket.

A nuclear bomb.

A suspicious paper with some kind of plan written on it
Last edited by Zelzatter Zero , edited 1 time in total.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
Yeah, that's a child's drawing over there. We can see a nuclear bomb and all that stuff. A general is planning to take over the world. Welp, you must now help this child before they become the next threat.
---
What's with the:
- Fake documents.
- A suitcase worth a lot of money.
- A passport of yourself.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen

z0z wrote:

i'm just cleaning my toilet with those chemicals
They might be common cleaning chemicals, but you cannot mix these two because it releases gaseous hydrochloric acid which is lethal.

OT: I'm a journalist that is traveling and researching about fake documents, of course the money is also false.

-------------------------------------------------

A creeper spawner.
A city.
Sand.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I play Minecraft

  1. A kid
  2. A children
  3. Free candies
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
Please, this is a birthday party of a friend's son, he asked me to bring candy. What's wrong with that? I just came for the cake anyway.

-----------------------

A pudding that says "DO NOT EAT".
A "sorry" note inside a fridge.
Your face covered in caramel.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,355 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
As you can see, officer, the fridge is indeed properly secured.

------------------

1 black bag filled with something to the size of a basketball
phone map app set to drive to an abandoned building
A gallon of gasoline in the trunk
Lapizote
121 posts
Joined January 2016
Lapizote
Uhhh, I'm going to be playing indoor flaming basketball with the local ghosts.

--

Five million dollars.
A pistol with a silencer.
Documents detailing the layout of the White House.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,355 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Oh just what we needed! Officer, how do you want to play a cop role in the movie we are shooting?

A can of coke
A can of pepsi
A bottle of nitric acid
Last edited by abraker , edited 1 time in total.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I just bought some drinks to enjoy after chemistry class.

---------------------------------------------------------

I found you with:

A camera.
A PC with a torrent program open.
A cinema ticket.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
These are stuff that a friend of mine left on my car. Ask them.

A can of TNT.
A firestarter.
A couple grenades.
Lapizote
121 posts
Joined January 2016
Lapizote
I'm a demolitions expert, and I legally demolish buildings and stuff. Trust me.

--

A creepy stone mask
Some vials of blood
A weird looking golden arrow with a bug engraved on it
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
I'm playing in a horror movie. The "blood" is actually a specially made juice for actors to "choke blood".

A dead corpse with flies all over it.
A blood-stained knife.
A fake ID card.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
A thief tried to stole me with a gun, I shooted him.

  1. osu! cheat
  2. The osu! top 1 trophy
  3. A mouse
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
they're for a showcase about cheating in osu

you:
a large animal that shouldn't fit in your car just chilling in the backseat while watching out for you and sticking its head out of the window
a object capable of causing a servernova that looks like a explosive
huge bag of food for yourself so big it blocks your side window view
Last edited by z0z , edited 1 time in total.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I bring my blue whale into the veterinary.

  1. A bloody dead corpse
  2. Oil
  3. Something to create fire
Lapizote
121 posts
Joined January 2016
Lapizote
His family wanted him to be cremated, but they couldn't pay for a professional service. So they hired me.

--

A paper bag with a severed hand
This suit
A photo of your father
Achromalia
347 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
the hand? that's just my special shortbread i baked today, you can feel one and take a bite if you want, i've brought plenty. i'm also using 'em as props for my cosplay outing with some friends downtown. ah, yeah, my dad's kind of important to me, so i like to have him around in my travels. with this photo, i carry his memory with me.

- - -

Achromalia wrote:

a profusely bleeding Javan rhinoceros with two arrows stuck in its neck, and one piercing its stomach, all with your fingerprints on them.

a few quivers mostly full of arrows inside a bag with a receipt to your name.

a loaded assault rifle.
Last edited by Achromalia , edited 2 times in total.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
The rhinoceros is a fake, it's for a showcase against the poachin
  1. 2 Ralsei but dead
  2. 2 wolf furries but dead
  3. 2 moderators but dead
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I traveled 200 years into the future so... eventually it had to happen. Every osu! player is dead with the exception of peppy which trascended.

A 100% no fake alien.
A 4K camera.
A microphone.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
We're conducting an experiment of this brave alien who volunteered to be our subject!
---
What's with the:
- Contract about planning a civil war.
- Real guns and missle.
- An analysis data about economic crisis.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
It's all for the storyline of a game world. The guns and missiles? Those are all broken so they are used in a film related to the game.

---

Me (injured)
A dagger with your fingerprints on it
A box full of cash.
Last edited by Hoshimegu Mio , edited 1 time in total.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
A thief bless you and stole the money of Yyotta. I see this, and I kill the thief with the dagger.
We gonna go to the hospital.

  1. NUCLEAR NUKE
  2. Gaz bottle
  3. Something to make fire
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
People in the government are planning a war. I was given permission to transport this stuff.

A plan to blow up the school in full details.
Some bombs.
A few gas masks.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
The bombs are filled with confetti, I'm gonna blow them at the school festival.

The gas masks? They are part of a cosplay.

------------------------

A kid crying and pointing at you.
The angry mother of the kid.
A balloon with the kid's name.
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i'm taking them to the hospital, the kid has a stuck arm and the mom is angry because her kid is like that
the balloon is to make the kid feel better

has:
no car doors
6 people in the backseat
front seat full of unknown substances
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I have just this to drive...

  1. Peppy but dead
  2. Bloody shovel
  3. A tombstone where there is wrote "RIP Peppy -- 19?? - 2020"
Last edited by Corne2Plum3 , edited 2 times in total.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
My car is broken. These people came from nowhere, they teleported.

--

Again, me, but tied up and has chocolate in my mouth.
Boxes of chocolate far from my maximum reach.
Bombs each with the explosion force of around 10kg TNT.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I killed some terrorists and pick their bombs and their chocolate. I tied up the last terrorist who ate chocolate.

  1. A catgirl
  2. An alien
  3. Secret ultimate weapon
Last edited by Corne2Plum3 , edited 1 time in total.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
The real me is here. That one is fake. She is planning terrorist attacks so I must kill her using chocolate. I have legal permission to do this.

A dead officer.
Another dead officer.
A gun with your fingerprints on it.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
They tried to arrest me and kill me for having a gun...

  1. A loli
  2. Some 18+ stuff
  3. A bed
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Those two officers sacrificed on a mission. I must take them so they can rest in peace. That gun there is just a present from my friend.

A giant machine of some sort.
Gears made out of ivory.
Stacks of ivory.
Last edited by Hoshimegu Mio , edited 1 time in total.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
We're doing an experiment to have an ivory colour with ivory.
---
What's With The:
- Revival Card.
- A chainsaw.
- A future stated I'm going to die.
Meguro
557 posts
Joined June 2017
Meguro
I'm going to die

- TODOKETE
- TODOKETE
- TODOKETE
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
SETSUNASA NI WA.

---------------

A "Nico nico ni" tutorial.
A nico cosplay with your name.
An anime convention ticket. Let's assume there's no COVID
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
Gonna into a convention

  1. Wood
  2. Stone
  3. Metal
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
We were supposed to send these to the construction site.

Grass
Grass
Grass
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
Make my place go green!
---
What's With The:
- Mascot
- Firearm
- Toolkit
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i'm making a original character!
all these items will be part of this oc

you have:
no roof and doors locked
car flooded with water
a lot of dead bodies piling up above the water
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
It's for my aquarium.
---
What's With The:
- Real Heart
- A knife
- A suitcase worth with real money
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
A flood happened. Those were the unfortunate ones that didn't make it.

Some amino acid samples.
A weird machine that is labeled "Protein maker 27987".
A dead person.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
Someone is trying to commit a suicide mission by pretending that person is having a protein shaker.
---
What's With The:
- H2O2
- A dead person
- A bartender that suspects to be a culprit
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
That guy just happened to be a failure on chemistry. He tried to show how good he is. The chemist on the other table asked for H2O so he decided to go with H2O too. But then the bartender thought he was asking for hydrogen peroxide so that guy died from drinking it.

A bag of illegal drugs.
Another bag of illegal drugs.
A suitcase.
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i'm finding a place to dispose of these bags, i'm taking my suitcase with me to work

you have:
too many children
a bag full of... things
some strange half-full food container
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I drive a scholar bus to the mountain, they will rest during 1 week.

  1. A gun
  2. A demon
  3. The Death
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Those are my henchmen. They work for me and I sometimes consume them. That's all. The gun is a present from a friend of mine.

A clip of you trying to ***** me.
A portal.
The grim reaper lying dead.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner

YyottaCat wrote:

The chemist on the other table asked for H2O so he decided to go with H2O too.
I see you get the joke too. ;3
---
Yeah, I went to a portal to end the Grim Reaper's life because it just made a video looks like me trying to UwU you.
---
What's With The:
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
- Paperwork
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Those are some important files for work.

A bottle of KCN.
A bottle of NaCN.
A dead body that got poisoned to death about 5 minutes ago.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I'm going to deliver these chemical componants to the a-braker laboratory. The dead person just have eaten a tacos but from 1977...

  1. A demon
  2. A demon
  3. A demon
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
What do you expect? I'm the leader of hell.

A vicious plant.
A broken LED.
A half-rot human head.
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
the LEDs in my car broke
i'm feeding the head to the plant so i can say to the buyer that the plant has been well-fed

???:
no windows or doors
no roof
no carseats
Lott
269 posts
Joined January 2019
Lott
I'm just fixing my car and painting some of the things in it, so I have to take them off.

18+ warning!
Hentai comics
Sex toy
A condom filled with cum.

Here's non-explicit alternate.

A real knife, with blood in it.
A real knife, with real blood in it.
A real knife, with real blood in it and it's a killing knife.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Ehh, you know. I kill other demons for food. I'm the cutest demonoid aren't I? The taste of it is nice. Do you want some? I can give you some if you want!

A patient with a fracture on the tibia.
A heart-scooper.
A necromancy book.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I gonna deliver a doctor object and this fan of Death Note in the hospital...

  1. A blue whale
  2. An orca
  3. A dolphin
ninore
Beatmap Nominator
483 posts
Joined January 2020
ninore
Officer, those are cake. they are all actually chocolate cake.

Officer, you are cake aswell.

a loli
another loli
and another loli
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
They are my friends. Isn't that obvious? They can't drive though.

A cooked pangolin.
A cooked... human.
An invitation to hell.
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i'm bring the human to a club called "hell", i'm also delivering the pangolin to the club

what?:
an alcohol that fills up your whole car
a lighter
a child
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
We're immune to it. We just wanted to scare the human beings.

A human skull.
A book of necromancy.
Some mandrake.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
That's just Achromalia posting in Thread necromancy with a mandrake.

A folder that says "nudes"
An Imgur account.
A camera.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I make my best photos with this camera and I post it on Imgur. For the folder, this is just something I didn't check of my buddy.

  1. A minigun
  2. AK-47
  3. Ralsei with a gun
samX500
54 posts
Joined January 2018
samX500
I am just a collector, here are my permits.

A pack of TNT.

A remote controlled detonator.

A very detailed map of a nearby museum.
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i'm bring the tnt and detonator to my friend at the museum

!!!:
no car
a suicide bomber's vest
a fuse
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Hey, officer, this package is for you!

An unconscious child.
A bottle of alcoholics.
A price tag of that particular child.
Meguro
557 posts
Joined June 2017
Meguro
uhhh, i'm trying to trick you into thinking I'm selling this kid

Cat
Fish
More Cat
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Meow! They are all my cats!

A portal gun.
GlaDOS.
A heart cube.
Meguro
557 posts
Joined June 2017
Meguro
uhhh, I'm trying to sling myself to black mesa to kill them with my companion cube, they stole GlaDOS source code,

HEV Suit
Weapon
A pair of glasses
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
It's for a Half-life fan play.

A physics engine abuser.
A tree.
A block.
Meguro
557 posts
Joined June 2017
Meguro
hey, uhhh, I'm Gordon Freeman

a VR headset
a copy of Minecraft
a PC
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I'm steve.


A broken screen.
A Failed menu.
A gun.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Someone shot their screen after failing. Not my problem. Don't you worry, he'll be at hell soon.

A bag of homework.
A bag of homework.
A bag of dynamite.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
gonna explode my homeworks.

---

All moderators of osu! but tied up.
A lot of guns.
Money.
Meguro
557 posts
Joined June 2017
Meguro
i'm trying to become the god of osu!

---

cat
cat
cat
furry hater
927 posts
Joined September 2017
furry hater
I'm adopting them, are you fucking sick in the head?! They were in a alley with no food.

---

Tea bags

A ridiculous amount of fursuits, all burned

Gaming PC that is the same cost of the fursuits
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i got paid one of the best pcs in the world and a huge amount of tea for helping someone hide the evidence from their mom


:
no car
on the sidewalk
something that ever so slightly looks suspicious
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
Guess what, I got z0z's horns!

A circle.
A beat.
osu!.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
I'm playing osu!

A cube
A spike
An orb
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
I'm playing Geometry Dash.

Black Blizzard.
Sunset Sandstorm.
A cube.
furry hater
927 posts
Joined September 2017
furry hater
Get the fuck out I'm playing Geometry Dash

----

Pizza Boxes

A failed human and cat embryo

iPod
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
that's my ipod, someone wanted a pizza that looked exactly like a failed human and cat embryo for some reason and i'm delivering it to them

extra large uncovered cake
unsecured child seat with a child in the back
half the windows are covered
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
That's my little brother. I son't know how he figured to do that but I thought it'll be hreat to block some of the sun out. Sadly, he isn't a catboy.

WAVE.
MINI WAVE.
VSC.
furry hater
927 posts
Joined September 2017
furry hater
Are you ok officer? I'm playing a videogame and you think that it is illegal!


Radio playing this song
The president of the USA.
Some big ass meal from McDonalds with a free knife
Last edited by furry hater , edited 1 time in total.
Jonarwhal
1,227 posts
Joined November 2013
Jonarwhal
nothing to see here, the president just invited me on a playdate and this is what he wanted to do
just normal presidential stuff
he likes mcdonalds and has good taste in music, the best taste in music actually

-an illegal cd of africa by toto on repeat for 10 hours
-an illegal cd of harumachi clover on repeat for 10 hours
-an illegal cd of the space jam theme on repeat for 10 hours
Last edited by Jonarwhal , edited 1 time in total.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
You own these, officer. Don't you try it.

Pikachu in a cage.
An arrow trap.
An explosives trap.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
The only way I can take that pikachu out is by throwing arrows to some explosives.


Diamonds that aren't yours with your fingerprints.
A jewelry shop with broken windows.
A hammer with your fingerprints as well.
Last edited by Nuuskamuikkunen , edited 1 time in total.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
One of my wheel exploded and I finishes in the jewelry shop...
For the hammer, this is the hammer I hide in my car for a special moment...

A demon
A huge book about black magic
A red marker
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
How many times do I have to tell you that these are my food / henchman? Don't believe it? OK. *Muscles tearing noises* Meow, that's good! Also, I'm trying to finish my black magic course so get away.

A Goomba.
Mario.
A brick.
Jonarwhal
1,227 posts
Joined November 2013
Jonarwhal
nothing to see here
Mario: don't a-listen! Im a-being kidnapped!

some funyuns
an echidna
a fox cub
Last edited by Jonarwhal , edited 1 time in total.
Hoshimegu Mio
1,110 posts
Joined July 2020
Hoshimegu Mio
I'm feeding this cute little fox. He is Zel's son!
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,870 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
Why you talk to me but I have nothing.

$20,000,000 in money
A TNT
Something to open doors without key
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