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Achromalia
364 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
i would read it, because you made it and it's for the off-topic subforum :)

the art is acceptably expressive and legible, no issues!! the writing and characterization, though... i dont know yet

given the nature of cgdct, and the way this manga introduced itself... it will need some help to remain interesting, and what i would want from it may not really align with the premise or genre. i think it would have to either introduce some sort of narrative substance through characterization to feel fulfilling, or it would have to rely on the absurd comedy it seems to be aiming for, which may not be as easy as it might seem

but i hope to be grateful for what you made. and if you make more, i hope that you or anyone else here will enjoy its creation. i would definitely visit again if it's updated, and i would be open to submitting more feedback when the time comes <3

(i might update the review later with more specific critique!! it should be in another post sometime tomorrow, if i remember to do that)
Last edited by Achromalia , edited 4 times in total.
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
For those who voted that the manga looks bad, I would like you to explain why, so I can improve it. If it has to do with the size of the screentones (the little dots that are in all mangas, used for painting), changing it is the easiest thing.

DM FOR MUTUAL wrote:

This isn't really criticism because idk what you're cooking but a few questions to do with writing:

1. What was you're thinking with making samet, Marco and serroinga the main characters? Also do the characters relate to the irl counterparts in any way, because I didn't really get any indication from the first page, just 3 anime girls that share the same name and maybe some design aspects. Granted it's just the first page though

2. Why a storytelling club, does it have something to do with OT? I feel like if you wanted to make a club out of OT, it would be something like a club that is filled with misfits that has absolutely no direction or purpose and they get up to crazy shenanigans all the time. Or is this more like an OT school and this is a club in it?

Really cool thread though, we're entering Valhalla with this one
I chose Marco and Serraionga because I like them and I know they won't leave the forum (look at how long they've been here), and Samet because he's the only one who somehow fits the personality that was missing. It's going to be a storytelling club so there's always something interesting happening, with different scenarios, etc. Serraionga should have portal powers in his stories, and Miku will be in Marco's stories. Each one will have a different storytelling style. As you can see, Marco seems to dislike violence in the manga, which is consistent with the Marco we know. In the stories I intend to mention past events about the forum and things like that, to always give a familiar atmosphere. That's basically all I've thought of so far. And I plan to add new people in the future.
B0ii
594 posts
Joined November 2021
B0ii
Hell yeah I support this no matter how scuffed it will be
MangaGrumpy
344 posts
Joined May 2022
MangaGrumpy
LEEEETTTSSSS GOOOOO
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
i think you should post these pages as .pngs

also did you turn people here into girls?
Ymir
1,818 posts
Joined June 2020
Ymir
I actually think the Manga looks pretty good, I dont know what people are on about.
Maybe their expectations are too high?

On a separate note, I think you should drop the overuse of honorifics, or change the names to actually match those honorifics.

For example, hearing "Serraionga-chan" is quite awkward and jarring, it just doesnt work.
Maybe a nickname like "Serri-chan"? Personally think it works a lot better (obviously you choose the names, I'm not the greatest at this stuff either, evidently).
Last edited by Ymir , edited 2 times in total.
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta
didn't know you could draw
tapperruiii
29 posts
Joined July 2024
tapperruiii
no fish in first page -10/10000000 score
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
Since no one said that the screentones are bad, I think I'll keep the style.

z0z wrote:

i think you should post these pages as .pngs

also did you turn people here into girls?
Putting it in BBcode is too obvious for me not to have tested it, it causes moire. but I can also do it as a complement, if anyone wants.

And yes, just like on the first page, they are all anime girls.


Ymir wrote:

I actually think the Manga looks pretty good, I dont know what people are on about.
Maybe their expectations are too high?

On a separate note, I think you should drop the overuse of honorifics, or change the names to actually match those honorifics.

For example, hearing "Serraionga-chan" is quite awkward and jarring, it just doesnt work.
Maybe a nickname like "Serri-chan"? Personally think it works a lot better (obviously you choose the names, I'm not the greatest at this stuff either, evidently).
Thank you, you are helping me a lot! :)
People should not be afraid to say what they think...
I think I will stop using honorifics, unless it is a "-sama" or something that makes a difference.
Ymir
1,818 posts
Joined June 2020
Ymir
Yeah that's a good idea.
tapperruiii
29 posts
Joined July 2024
tapperruiii
i should make temu version with my 1st grader drawing skills
Last edited by tapperruiii , edited 1 time in total.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,831 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
pog
Winnyace
761 posts
Joined June 2016
Winnyace
I wanted to ask something, but I will get smacked by the GMTs if I do so.
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

Winnyace wrote:

I wanted to ask something, but I will get smacked by the GMTs if I do so.
You can PM me if it is relevant.
Karmine
972 posts
Joined November 2015
Karmine
Other: please fucking kill me.
- Marco -
7,566 posts
Joined December 2011
- Marco -
I LOOK SO CUTE
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta
honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them passed like the third chapter
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

Patatitta wrote:

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them passed like the third chapter
The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.
Wimpy Cursed
1,347 posts
Joined July 2021
Wimpy Cursed
will read :thumbsup:
Reyalp51
968 posts
Joined April 2021
Reyalp51
i hope this isnt too much work for you but i think its neat and i will read it
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta

Behrauder wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them passed like the third chapter
The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.
community/forums/topics/564898?n=1
community/forums/topics/1847647?n=1
community/forums/topics/1843133?n=1
Ymir
1,818 posts
Joined June 2020
Ymir
I mean, those are 'osu!' mangas, I think as long as OT doesn't just abandon this thread, this could have potential.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,831 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3

Patatitta wrote:

Behrauder wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them passed like the third chapter
The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.
community/forums/topics/564898?n=1
community/forums/topics/1847647?n=1
community/forums/topics/1843133?n=1
Those are about osu! in general, not OT specific
keremaru
227 posts
Joined November 2017
keremaru
wanna make an OT!shonen, but i suck at drawing and i'd rather finish the story first before getting to the visuals
this is a good compromise
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
4 people will read it because they really think it will be good, 4 will read it but think it will be bad, 3 people don't like this style of manga, but they will read it, and two people will at least try to read it, totaling more than 80% of the votes (at least now), and only one person won't even try to read it.

These are good enough results to motivate me to do it, so it's confirmed!

In about a month (It could be more or less, but more likely less) the first chapter, expected to have 8 pages, will be released (it may seem like few pages for a long time, but it REALLY isn't). :)

Also, today I dreamed that Sametdze (one of the main characters) changed his osu! username, it was a nightmare really lol.
Last edited by Behrauder , edited 1 time in total.
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta
yeah 8 pages per month is actually a pretty good thing, consider that most mangas do release a chapter a month, yes those chapters are usually a bit longer but they're professionals
ColdTooth
1,106 posts
Joined June 2012
ColdTooth

Patatitta wrote:

yeah 8 pages per month is actually a pretty good thing, consider that most mangas do release a chapter a month, yes those chapters are usually a bit longer but they're professionals
me brainstorming my own novel for lore of my entire characters (basically the size of like, 30 bibles) and expecting to write at minimum a chapter a day except not really because im still brainstorming
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
it would be funny if you include a person who has changed their osu name many times, and then have another character call them by one of their former names without realising lol

"hello canadian-baka!"
"who?"
"you!"
"i'm ashton now.."
Aireunaeus
3,093 posts
Joined December 2021
Aireunaeus
Oh damn that’s actually cool lol
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

sametdze wrote:

it would be funny if you include a person who has changed their osu name many times, and then have another character call them by one of their former names without realising lol

"hello canadian-baka!"
"who?"
"you!"
"i'm ashton now.."
Noted, thanks for your contribution!


05/12/2024: Attention, the first chapter of the OT! Manga Adaptation will be slightly delayed, but it is almost finished. Don't worry, I’m doing my best to work quickly while maintaining quality.
Last edited by Behrauder , edited 4 times in total.
Serraionga
11,487 posts
Joined November 2014
Serraionga
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
The first chapter of the OT! Manga Adaptation is finally out. Let me know your thoughts! :)


Behrauder wrote:

⚠ IMPORTANT THINGS, read carefully: ⚠


To see the manga, access it on a computer (not a cell phone), and set the zoom to 100% (it is not 100% by default). You should take these preventive measures to avoid the moire effect.

If you don't know what the moire effect is, it's when there is a strange unwanted pattern due to something to do with pixel overlap or something like that (which makes several manga look strange at some zooms other than 100%), but it is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moir%C3%A9_pattern



The manga reading order is from right to left, and top to bottom.


Link <===============




The focus of chapter 1 was just showing in a funny way that Samet likes trains. I think in the next chapter I'll probably focus on Marco or Serraionga, but I haven’t decided yet. With this manga, I realized that thinking about what 8 pages of a manga will be is actually very hard.

Did you like it? Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Reyalp51
968 posts
Joined April 2021
Reyalp51
now this is the advanced autism i wanted to see, my only suggestion would be to try making really intense scenarios instead of slice of life but thats a personal taste of mine. Making what you promised in time is really impressing so congrats dude

also disapierd
Last edited by Reyalp51 , edited 1 time in total.
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

Reyalp51 wrote:

now this is the advanced autism i wanted to see
Thanks! :)

Reyalp51 wrote:

my only suggestion would be to try making really intense scenarios instead of slice of life but thats a personal taste of mine.
Hmm, I don't think I'll do that, but if more people say they want it to change, maybe I could consider it.

Reyalp51 wrote:

Making what you promised in time is really impressing so congrats dude
Actually it wasn't 100% on time...

Reyalp51 wrote:

also disapierd
;-; Fixed.
MangaGrumpy
344 posts
Joined May 2022
MangaGrumpy
Hahaha! Very nice chapter :)
- Marco -
7,566 posts
Joined December 2011
- Marco -
man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,831 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
PEAK QUALITY
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
SEHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT
Achromalia
364 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
i see... i think i like it, the punchline of them finding out they've worried for nothing landed well enough while still generally characterizing everyone (to different extents) and remaining light-hearted! the panelling is good, the use of screen tones has been good, scenes are given whatever visual aids they need in order to convey whatever emotions they need to, everything seems to connect reasonably well :>

if i could make sense of the "vibe" i've gathered from it, i'd describe it through a flavor... something like tomato and lettuce with a hint of fragrant orange zest-- mild and wet and leafy, with glimpses of a warm and sharp citric taste, i guess...? or a chilled ham sandwich, or something like that

idk, i dont have that much to add, and the things i'm interested in aren't really present in this (i haven't seen anything notable related to characterization or narrative substance that i'd pay attention to), but it still does what it came to do in classic cgdct fashion
Last edited by Achromalia , edited 3 times in total.
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

- Marco - wrote:

man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3
I can make you cosplay her soon, that's actually a good idea.

sametdze wrote:

SEHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT
?

-----

Now all that's left is for Serraionga to post to complete the trio, lol.
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
sehr guht means very good in german
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta
now that I have the full chapter, the general drawings feel very 3d, in many ways it feels like i'm watching kemono friends with the full 3DCG, which honestly I don't mind. Also, this seems to be entirerily episodic right?, that may be the best approach to this manga
- Marco -
7,566 posts
Joined December 2011
- Marco -

Behrauder wrote:

- Marco - wrote:

man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3
I can make you cosplay her soon, that's actually a good idea.
AYOOOOOO
B0ii
594 posts
Joined November 2021
B0ii
this is actually impressive ngl

I love it
anaxii
15,041 posts
Joined December 2022
anaxii
peak
reffty_gag
381 posts
Joined July 2023
reffty_gag
cubone cameo was peak
CLICKMACHINE
182 posts
Joined March 2023
CLICKMACHINE
Very nice concept. A CGDCT with topics revolving around "off-topic" stuff. (Banger first panel)
Decent artstyle

Just some nitpicks...
  1. It would be cool if there was an extra page (right after the cover page) on who those characters are/based on because I had no idea it was actually portraying real people. It would give context to new readers.
  2. I'm hoping the comedy later on will have a little more "oompf" to it. The punchline at the end felt a bit awkward to end the chapter there.
Other than those, this has solid potential. Keep writing more :D
furry hater
857 posts
Joined September 2017
furry hater
its alright
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
The second chapter of the OT! Manga Adaptation is out. Let me know your thoughts! :)


Behrauder wrote:

⚠ IMPORTANT THINGS, read carefully: ⚠


To see the manga, access it on a computer (not a cell phone), and set the zoom to 100% (it is not 100% by default). You should take these preventive measures to avoid the moire effect.

If you don't know what the moire effect is, it's when there is a strange unwanted pattern due to something to do with pixel overlap or something like that (which makes several manga look strange at some zooms other than 100%), but it is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moir%C3%A9_pattern



The manga reading order is from right to left, and top to bottom.


Link <===============



If you found chapter 2 very schizophrenic, I'm not sorry. That was the intention.

Did you like it? What did you think of chapter 2 in relation to chapter 1? I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your feedback on what is better.

ONLY CLICK HERE IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ CHAPTER 2:
If you didn't understand what happened, basically EVERYTHING was Serraionga's dream. Except the last three drawings, obviously.

Why is Marco the person with Abraker in the final illustration, and not Samet? Because Marco is cuter and is wearing Miku's clothes.

Why is Abraker bald? Because it's funny and easier to draw.

Besides, did you pay attention to the license plate?
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
i think chapter 2 was pretty good, i liked how nonsensical it was

i also liked the interactions between abraker and sametdze, i found it pretty funny
CLICKMACHINE
182 posts
Joined March 2023
CLICKMACHINE
Be honest...
You were on something weren't you...
I am bamboozled...
Jun Maeda
250 posts
Joined July 2016
Jun Maeda
Its pretty cool i like it
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta
i'm utterly confused, still good, shoutout to the kemono friends artstyle, but what the fuck
Kobold84
Global Moderator
1,343 posts
Joined September 2013
Kobold84

Behrauder wrote:

Besides, did you pay attention to the license plate?
I expected to see the plate give an explanation as to why abraker is bald. And he totally should've been a teacher instead.


Also repeating myself from the other thread in case you haven't seen it.

You should switch to 4koma sometimes to regain motivation. It's easy to make, which results in more posts in between normal chapter releases. You also immediately see the results of your work without serious time commitment. Win-win.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,831 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
baldbraker
Achromalia
364 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
i... actually really liked this chapter, it felt a little more interesting, although i don't know how to articulate why yet

it was easy enough to understand, or rather it seemed easy enough for me to believe i understood the course of events, it actually seems kind of linear to me with the exception of it revealing that those sequences are nested within one another, with maybe one point that seemed ambiguous until i read the note at the end (after i initially posted this)

ah the art, i forgot, i don't have many personally notable thoughts on it but i'd be a bit surprised if it happened to be fully and originally 2d. it seems like they were somehow made by arranging 3d models or 3d backgrounds, then drawn over with line tools in some way, and the ability to remain on-model with those designs is sort of impressive to me if that wasn't the case

either way, i find it vaguely charming even if not a style i would typically prefer :>
Last edited by Achromalia , edited 5 times in total.
Ymir
1,818 posts
Joined June 2020
Ymir
how did you make it so 3D and 2D at the same time imagine I was reading this high
good job though keep it up love it very cute, im going to make rule34 of abraker now
z0z
521 posts
Joined February 2018
z0z
quite silly

also bald abarker
Reyalp51
968 posts
Joined April 2021
Reyalp51
well that was weird lol
reffty_gag
381 posts
Joined July 2023
reffty_gag
read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire
i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have
reffty_gag
381 posts
Joined July 2023
reffty_gag

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire
i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have
BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta

reffty_gag wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire
i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have
BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!
what? no? I think you misunderstood it

you say you listened to that album while reading

That album has lyrics

I was like "damn impressive you can listen to music with lyrics while reading"

I did not realize you were actively seraching the lyrics on google in the middle of reading the manga chapter
Last edited by Patatitta , edited 2 times in total.
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
imagine him multi tasking though, in his ears he's listening to the album, his left eye is reading OT manga and his right eye is reading through the lyrics of the song, true giga chad
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
I'm glad you guys liked it! :)

I'm going to share the creation process, since you all seem curious, and I think it's interesting:

Basically, the tools that make the OT! Manga possible are four:

1. [AN ANIME 3D PROGRAM] (with many plugins): To make the characters with very high customization and place them on the map I want, in the pose I want, with the expression I want. As I don't have some plugins that I was too lazy to install, I still have to draw some of the expressions manually.

2. Clip Studio Paint: Basically, I use Clip Studio Paint to create the manga the way you all are familiar with. Previously, I had tried with Photoshop, but it simply wasn't suitable for that, and I quickly gave up on the idea.

3. Canva: To post the manga. Canva is the only place I've found that is consistent across different screens. If everyone reads the manga on a computer at 100% zoom (which is not the default), the moire effect can be avoided. Posting the manga directly on the osu! forum would be quite problematic.

4. The tablet I used to play osu!: Self-explanatory.

I also use other tools like grammar checkers, but I can't say that they "make the manga possible".

The first step is the draft:

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)
HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!



After that... it's quite intuitive: 

I reproduce the draft scenes in Koikatsu, take a screenshot, and the rest is even more intuitive. Once everything is done, I just review everything and copy it into Canva.

Making eight pages of this a month is actually... much, much more tiring and time-consuming than it seems, but the effort is definitely worth it!

I'm going to start college in March, and I have no idea how difficult college is, so my biggest fear is having to stop making the manga for a long time.



Kobold84 wrote:

You should switch to 4koma sometimes to regain motivation. It's easy to make, which results in more posts in between normal chapter releases. You also immediately see the results of your work without serious time commitment. Win-win.
I thought about doing this after the third chapter. It's quite likely.
Last edited by Corne2Plum3 , edited 1 time in total.
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
i love the way the drafts look, can you upload the rest of them
reffty_gag
381 posts
Joined July 2023
reffty_gag

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire
i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have
BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!
what? no? I think you misunderstood it

you say you listened to that album while reading

That album has lyrics

I was like "damn impressive you can listen to music with lyrics while reading"

I did not realize you were actively seraching the lyrics on google in the middle of reading the manga chapter
oh sorry
Patatitta
1,311 posts
Joined February 2020
Patatitta
I fucking knew it was too 3d, you were using a hentai game to make the characters
reffty_gag
381 posts
Joined July 2023
reffty_gag
i kinda love this manga, but the 3d artstyle isn't my cup of tea
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
wait that's in aud it might be super cheap in brazil currency
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
In case you are Corne and you're reading this: Stop thinking about doing what I know you're thinking about doing, please.
Last edited by Behrauder , edited 2 times in total.
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze


nevermind
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
he could've gotten a ticket to miku expo (if he converted it into USD) but he bought a gooner game with that money instead. at least he's using the game for good purposes and not professional gooner purposes
Last edited by sametdze , edited 1 time in total.
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
Let's try not to derail the thread, please.
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,831 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3

sametdze wrote:

you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about
The threat is gone already
sametdze
359 posts
Joined July 2021
sametdze
istg if i get silenced
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
Chapter 2: community/forums/topics/1998785?n=54

Creation process: community/forums/topics/1998785?n=70

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

sametdze wrote:

you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about
The threat is gone already
I read thread instead of threat, lol.

Behrauder wrote:

Let's try not to derail the thread, please.
Last edited by Behrauder , edited 3 times in total.
Kobold84
Global Moderator
1,343 posts
Joined September 2013
Kobold84

Behrauder wrote:

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)
HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!
It's art.

Behrauder wrote:

I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your feedback on what is better.
I read both back to back again today and didn't notice it at all.

Feedback time:
The chapter itself was all right on the weirdness scale, I didn't get the ending until I read through your explanation, and that's mostly on how fast you transition between scenes and frames. You put in too much information in frames, so there are issues with pacing. You can fit a lot more than simple dialogues within a single frame: some hesitation, reaction and a lot more to have it more presentable and, I guess, personal to the reader?

And you absolutely should use visual space (as shown in my example below) to make the reader read at the exact pace you want him to read to deliver the moment just so it feels more "right". This way conversations flow more naturally.

Here is a general idea of how to improve one page.

Well, you do use these and other techniques sometimes, so my advice is to use it more often.
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

Kobold84 wrote:

Behrauder wrote:

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)
HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!
It's art.

Behrauder wrote:

I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your feedback on what is better.
I read both back to back again today and didn't notice it at all.

Feedback time:
The chapter itself was all right on the weirdness scale, I didn't get the ending until I read through your explanation, and that's mostly on how fast you transition between scenes and frames. You put in too much information in frames, so there are issues with pacing. You can fit a lot more than simple dialogues within a single frame: some hesitation, reaction and a lot more to have it more presentable and, I guess, personal to the reader?

And you absolutely should use visual space (as shown in my example below) to make the reader read at the exact pace you want him to read to deliver the moment just so it feels more "right". This way conversations flow more naturally.

Here is a general idea of how to improve one page.

Well, you do use these and other techniques sometimes, so my advice is to use it more often.
Interesting, I hadn't thought of that. I guess I'm not very good with these things. The first time I read a manga was about 4 days before I started creating chapter 1, just to get an idea of ​​how to do it. In fact, I only read a few random chapters of about 10 random mangas, lol.

I will try to implement this.

Oh, and the quality is only like that because you had to zoom out to take a screenshot of everything, right?
Kobold84
Global Moderator
1,343 posts
Joined September 2013
Kobold84

Behrauder wrote:

Interesting, I hadn't thought of that. I guess I'm not very good with these things. The first time I read a manga was about 4 days before I started creating chapter 1, just to get an idea of ​​how to do it. In fact, I only read a few random chapters of about 10 random mangas, lol.

I will try to implement this.
Hire me as an editor to find out more tips and tricks.

Behrauder wrote:

Oh, and the quality is only like that because you had to zoom out to take a screenshot of everything, right?
Yep.
Kobold84
Global Moderator
1,343 posts
Joined September 2013
Kobold84
Also while I was doing the example page I noticed she has her eyes open slightly.



Remids me of this lol

Ymir
1,818 posts
Joined June 2020
Ymir
I had a feeling it was 3D from the get go, but that's an interesting style and process. Gives it some good character.
Aireunaeus
3,093 posts
Joined December 2021
Aireunaeus
Idk why but abraker reminds me of osaka
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

Aireunaeus wrote:

Idk why but abraker reminds me of osaka
I also don't know why, but I agree.
- Marco -
7,566 posts
Joined December 2011
- Marco -
how do you know this is my usual day?
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

- Marco - wrote:

how do you know this is my usual day?
Because it's kind of predictable...
MangaGrumpy
344 posts
Joined May 2022
MangaGrumpy
Hey, the
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,831 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3
bump
Kobold84
Global Moderator
1,343 posts
Joined September 2013
Kobold84

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

bump
What for? Spare the poor Behrauder, it's been less than two weeks.
Corne2Plum3
Global Moderator
1,831 posts
Joined November 2019
Corne2Plum3

Kobold84 wrote:

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

bump
What for? Spare the poor Behrauder, it's been less than two weeks.
Wasn't it 1 chapter per week at the beginning?
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

Kobold84 wrote:

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

bump
What for? Spare the poor Behrauder, it's been less than two weeks.
Wasn't it 1 chapter per week at the beginning?
How would I do that? It's 8 pages per chapter (plus an extra)... I don't do this 24 hours a day (at most, 12 when time is running out, lol).
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
I'll release the third chapter in a few minutes.

In the meantime, try to find out who the new character is:
Achromalia
364 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
who here would have a skull as a hairpin e.e are you ripping me off

new characters, interested to see how this develops :>
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder

Achromalia wrote:

who here would have a skull as a hairpin e.e are you ripping me off

new characters, interested to see how this develops :>
The skull represents something else.
Reyalp51
968 posts
Joined April 2021
Reyalp51
sans undertale
Achromalia
364 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia

Behrauder wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

who here would have a skull as a hairpin e.e are you ripping me off

new characters, interested to see how this develops :>
The skull represents something else.
then i haven't a clue what or who it's for,,
Behrauder
95 posts
Joined June 2021
Topic Starter
Behrauder
The third chapter of the OT! Manga Adaptation is out. Let me know your thoughts! :)


Behrauder wrote:

⚠ IMPORTANT THINGS, read carefully: ⚠


To see the manga, access it on a computer (not a cell phone), and set the zoom to 100% (it is not 100% by default). You should take these preventive measures to avoid the moire effect.

If you don't know what the moire effect is, it's when there is a strange unwanted pattern due to something to do with pixel overlap or something like that (which makes several manga look strange at some zooms other than 100%), but it is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moir%C3%A9_pattern



The manga reading order is from right to left, and top to bottom.


Link <===============



Did you like it? I’m thinking of creating an anonymous Google poll so people can give feedback without any hesitation.

ONLY CLICK HERE IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ CHAPTER 3:

My main challenge in this chapter was trying to make Scyla unfunny, but in a funny way.

There's a skull on Scyla's head to represent death/bad things (locked threads, shitposts, etc.).

Scyla is wearing pajamas and a magical girl bow because this is something I could definitely imagine Scyla wearing in real life, lol.
- Marco -
7,566 posts
Joined December 2011
- Marco -
omg the blue hair... it's her isn't she?
Asian Warlord
33 posts
Joined November 2020
Asian Warlord
What innocent talented Brazilian we got here, unlike that dirty crime doing cartel over there named Polyspora

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