DM FOR MUTUAL wrote:

This isn't really criticism because idk what you're cooking but a few questions to do with writing:

1. What was you're thinking with making samet, Marco and serroinga the main characters? Also do the characters relate to the irl counterparts in any way, because I didn't really get any indication from the first page, just 3 anime girls that share the same name and maybe some design aspects. Granted it's just the first page though

2. Why a storytelling club, does it have something to do with OT? I feel like if you wanted to make a club out of OT, it would be something like a club that is filled with misfits that has absolutely no direction or purpose and they get up to crazy shenanigans all the time. Or is this more like an OT school and this is a club in it?

Really cool thread though, we're entering Valhalla with this one

z0z wrote:

i think you should post these pages as .pngs

also did you turn people here into girls?

Ymir wrote:

I actually think the Manga looks pretty good, I dont know what people are on about.
Maybe their expectations are too high?

On a separate note, I think you should drop the overuse of honorifics, or change the names to actually match those honorifics.

For example, hearing "Serraionga-chan" is quite awkward and jarring, it just doesnt work.
Maybe a nickname like "Serri-chan"? Personally think it works a lot better (obviously you choose the names, I'm not the greatest at this stuff either, evidently).

Winnyace wrote:

I wanted to ask something, but I will get smacked by the GMTs if I do so.

Patatitta wrote:

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them passed like the third chapter

Behrauder wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them passed like the third chapter

The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.

Patatitta wrote:

Behrauder wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them passed like the third chapter

The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.

community/forums/topics/564898?n=1
community/forums/topics/1847647?n=1
community/forums/topics/1843133?n=1

Patatitta wrote:

yeah 8 pages per month is actually a pretty good thing, consider that most mangas do release a chapter a month, yes those chapters are usually a bit longer but they're professionals

sametdze wrote:

it would be funny if you include a person who has changed their osu name many times, and then have another character call them by one of their former names without realising lol

"hello canadian-baka!"
"who?"
"you!"
"i'm ashton now.."

Behrauder wrote:

⚠ IMPORTANT THINGS, read carefully: ⚠

To see the manga, access it on a computer (not a cell phone), and set the zoom to 100% (it is not 100% by default). You should take these preventive measures to avoid the moire effect.

If you don't know what the moire effect is, it's when there is a strange unwanted pattern due to something to do with pixel overlap or something like that (which makes several manga look strange at some zooms other than 100%), but it is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moir%C3%A9_pattern



The manga reading order is from right to left, and top to bottom.

Reyalp51 wrote:

now this is the advanced autism i wanted to see

Reyalp51 wrote:

my only suggestion would be to try making really intense scenarios instead of slice of life but thats a personal taste of mine.

Reyalp51 wrote:

Making what you promised in time is really impressing so congrats dude

Reyalp51 wrote:

also disapierd

- Marco - wrote:

man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3

sametdze wrote:

SEHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT

Behrauder wrote:

- Marco - wrote:

man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3

I can make you cosplay her soon, that's actually a good idea.

1. It would be cool if there was an extra page (right after the cover page) on who those characters are/based on because I had no idea it was actually portraying real people. It would give context to new readers.
2. I'm hoping the comedy later on will have a little more "oompf" to it. The punchline at the end felt a bit awkward to end the chapter there.

Behrauder wrote:

⚠ IMPORTANT THINGS, read carefully: ⚠

To see the manga, access it on a computer (not a cell phone), and set the zoom to 100% (it is not 100% by default). You should take these preventive measures to avoid the moire effect.

If you don't know what the moire effect is, it's when there is a strange unwanted pattern due to something to do with pixel overlap or something like that (which makes several manga look strange at some zooms other than 100%), but it is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moir%C3%A9_pattern



The manga reading order is from right to left, and top to bottom.

Behrauder wrote:

Besides, did you pay attention to the license plate?

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have

reffty_gag wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have

BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!

I'm glad you guys liked it!

I'm going to share the creation process, since you all seem curious, and I think it's interesting:

The first step is the draft:

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)

HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!

After that... it's quite intuitive: 

I reproduce the draft scenes in Koikatsu, take a screenshot, and the rest is even more intuitive. Once everything is done, I just review everything and copy it into Canva.

Making eight pages of this a month is actually... much, much more tiring and time-consuming than it seems, but the effort is definitely worth it!

I'm going to start college in March, and I have no idea how difficult college is, so my biggest fear is having to stop making the manga for a long time.

Kobold84 wrote:

You should switch to 4koma sometimes to regain motivation. It's easy to make, which results in more posts in between normal chapter releases. You also immediately see the results of your work without serious time commitment. Win-win.

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

Patatitta wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have

BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!

what? no? I think you misunderstood it

you say you listened to that album while reading

That album has lyrics

I was like "damn impressive you can listen to music with lyrics while reading"

I did not realize you were actively seraching the lyrics on google in the middle of reading the manga chapter

sametdze wrote:

you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

sametdze wrote:

you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about

The threat is gone already

Behrauder wrote:

Let's try not to derail the thread, please.

Behrauder wrote:

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)

HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!

Behrauder wrote:

I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your feedback on what is better.

Here is a general idea of how to improve one page.

Kobold84 wrote:

Behrauder wrote:

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)

HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!

It's art.

Behrauder wrote:

I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your feedback on what is better.

I read both back to back again today and didn't notice it at all.

Feedback time:
The chapter itself was all right on the weirdness scale, I didn't get the ending until I read through your explanation, and that's mostly on how fast you transition between scenes and frames. You put in too much information in frames, so there are issues with pacing. You can fit a lot more than simple dialogues within a single frame: some hesitation, reaction and a lot more to have it more presentable and, I guess, personal to the reader?

And you absolutely should use visual space (as shown in my example below) to make the reader read at the exact pace you want him to read to deliver the moment just so it feels more "right". This way conversations flow more naturally.

Here is a general idea of how to improve one page.

Well, you do use these and other techniques sometimes, so my advice is to use it more often.

Behrauder wrote:

Interesting, I hadn't thought of that. I guess I'm not very good with these things. The first time I read a manga was about 4 days before I started creating chapter 1, just to get an idea of ​​how to do it. In fact, I only read a few random chapters of about 10 random mangas, lol.

I will try to implement this.

Behrauder wrote:

Oh, and the quality is only like that because you had to zoom out to take a screenshot of everything, right?

Aireunaeus wrote:

Idk why but abraker reminds me of osaka

- Marco - wrote:

how do you know this is my usual day?

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

bump

Kobold84 wrote:

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

bump

What for? Spare the poor Behrauder, it's been less than two weeks.

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

Kobold84 wrote:

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

bump

What for? Spare the poor Behrauder, it's been less than two weeks.

Wasn't it 1 chapter per week at the beginning?

Achromalia wrote:

who here would have a skull as a hairpin e.e are you ripping me off

new characters, interested to see how this develops :>

Behrauder wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

who here would have a skull as a hairpin e.e are you ripping me off

new characters, interested to see how this develops :>

The skull represents something else.