I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft. 4 x 4 animal style. Extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze. Light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swehmh.
And bring me some water.
And bring me some water.
show more
In the meantime, a drink perhaps?
Is this song perfect when drinking?
Also, a can of beer please with some spicy pig intestines
Enjoy your time. Sorry to hear about your life, I'll put this on your tab.
I want some lasagna and shark fin soup for DJ enetro (and in the end, i will eat both of them hehehe)
SHOO, SHOO
If you were asking seriously here you are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothel
literally risen from the grave what is up the bar is reopened
My life's work for this.
Unbelievable.
ok as a plan to make more money we now also sell bags of peanuts.
I've got a plan boss, now hear me out on this! Listen up, back on the east bloc i have some connections and.. yanoe.. we can work this out by shipping in some cheapass eastern hunnies. I'll promise them a prosperous life here, a visa and a place to stay. We'll use 'em for these 3 months and send 'em back afterwards. Plus, i have some cheeki breeki's who can keep their mouths shut, so you don't have to worry about anything. I just need your approval and for you to keep this under the rug.
3 months late, but better late than never!
The famous OT!Bar returns.
I'm somewhat risen from the grave, quarantine brings purpose, but better of all quarantine brings business.
I hope you've all been keeping well.
Rules remain as usual for the establishment, behave yourselves and enjoy yourselves. Stock images are the preferred form of art.
Come one and come all
To The Grand(er) Reopening (again) of OT!Bar.
Your 99 cents have been ordered. In the meantime enjoy a complimentary bowl of peanuts
ftfy.
Have some decency, its a public place smh.
Your monster beverage, sir.
Also yeah please social distance in my bar. If you cough I ain't serving ye
here's a dollar, this bar goes above and beyond
That we do. Have done for a while!
Wildly unhealthy, and we dont serve in liters. You can have a glass of Coke though
I'm in a bar, you're not supposed to care about my health
Give me a liter of cola
Ah, fuck. It's not perfect, but I'll take it. Thanks bud.
Hey Eblf what's up
Fancy seeing you in this here bar
sorry this was a specialist order, we had to call in the big guns.
i edited an actual image for the last one. but this one was WAY funnier
Yeah sure can your mommy provide some ID.
Much appreciated, patron.
in that case i would like a dish of spaghetti with bolognese sauce. It’s definitely one of my favourite meals. 
(wb)
Because orange juice is the best drink obviously. No need for alchool when you can clench you thirst with orange juice.
Food, order something and find out if it was on the menu.
Think of it like Vietnam's internet cafes, but you order food and drinks.
For you.
Enjoy, Santa.
for you
sorry we sold out on that maybe you can have some fried octopus instead
Ahhhh alright. Can I have a $20 game card and a bag of shrimp snack
show more
Hopefully you guys serve mango sorbet.
Who can resist ?
Who can resist ?
Topic Starter
Not sure what I can do about your first order, but water I can handleStefan wrote:
I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft. 4 x 4 animal style. Extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze. Light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swehmh.
And bring me some water.
You'd have to speak to someone good at preparing food who works at this establishment (*cough* @Foxtrot).Faust wrote:
Hopefully you guys serve mango sorbet.
Who can resist ?
In the meantime, a drink perhaps?
Kitchen is open again. Thank you for waiting!
The perfect dessert for the summer. Enjoy, and thank you for your patronage.
Just grilled chicken with rice? Uh, sure. Would you like anything to drink?KupcaH wrote:
Can I order grill chicken with rice?
No one can, that's the answer!Faust wrote:
Hopefully you guys serve mango sorbet.
Who can resist ?
The perfect dessert for the summer. Enjoy, and thank you for your patronage.
My hat tasted betterDawnsday wrote:
That's the intended taste.abraker wrote:
Then why does it taste like my hat with just frosting on top?
Topic Starter
Anyway I'm off work now, anyone'd be interested in karaoke or party games of some description?
The drinking gameDawnsday wrote:
Anyway I'm off work now, anyone'd be interested in karaoke or party games of some description?
Topic Starter
Sports results for today!
We're a sports bar! Kinda!
We're a sports bar! Kinda!
Sports results! Boxed in case you want to go watch the games yourself
Community Shield:
Arsenal 1 - 1 Chelsea
(Arsenal win 4-1 on pens in the new A-B-B-A system.
A tough fought game that could've gone either way honestly. Unlucky Madvillain B)
Arsenal 1 - 1 Chelsea
(Arsenal win 4-1 on pens in the new A-B-B-A system.
A tough fought game that could've gone either way honestly. Unlucky Madvillain B)
Is this song perfect when drinking?
Also, a can of beer please with some spicy pig intestines
My wife divorced
She burnt my house
I lost my job
Cus I was trying to fix the broken house
I am bankrupt
Cus she stole all my money
I have nothing
GIVE ME BEER
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
THROW EM BACK, TILL I LOSE COUNNT
She burnt my house
I lost my job
Cus I was trying to fix the broken house
I am bankrupt
Cus she stole all my money
I have nothing
GIVE ME BEER
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
THROW EM BACK, TILL I LOSE COUNNT
This is how I met this frog. He was laying- half dead- and needed money. So I offered him a job. 232 experiments later and 34,334 selling later, he is still here... somehowBlitzfrog wrote:
My wife divorced
She burnt my house
I lost my job
Cus I was trying to fix the broken house
I am bankrupt
Cus she stole all my money
I have nothing
GIVE ME BEER
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
THROW EM BACK, TILL I LOSE COUNNT
Topic Starter
Blitzfrog wrote:
sad
Enjoy your time. Sorry to hear about your life, I'll put this on your tab.
Topic Starter
Due to our recent exposure in OT!News I'm offering a special 2 for 1 meal deal! Order a meal for yourself, get one for your friend or signifcant other too!
Congrats!Dawnsday wrote:
Due to our recent exposure in OT!News I'm offering a special 2 for 1 meal deal! Order a meal for yourself, get one for your friend or signifcant other too!
I want some lasagna and shark fin soup for DJ enetro (and in the end, i will eat both of them hehehe)
Topic Starter
I'll let the chef know! Can I interest you in a drink in the meanwhile?Ryoid wrote:
Congrats!Dawnsday wrote:
Due to our recent exposure in OT!News I'm offering a special 2 for 1 meal deal! Order a meal for yourself, get one for your friend or signifcant other too!
I want some lasagna and shark fin soup for DJ enetro (and in the end, i will eat both of them hehehe)
Unfortunately the bar must be closed until due notice because of the bartender's circumstances. Thank you for your patronage and we hope to make business with you soon.
. . .
*sniff*
. . .
*sniff*
This bar is now a brothel.
We will soon release the full list of available ladies and some more exotic gentlemen as well as their prices.
Foxtrot - A woman of mysterious origin, she is a true paragon of sexual desire. Her forte lies in her knowledge of all toys, as well as their ideal uses. An hour with this underage gem will cost you 280 US Dollars.
Granger - Short and golden, this little lady specialises in SS officer roleplaying as well as various, more tentative, fetish styles. She will absolutely rock your world, as long as you're ready for new experiences and a kinder surprise. Currently, creating the lebensraum for an hour with this rough flower will cost you 270 US Dollars.
Trash Boat - Born in the slums of the far away land of Argentina, this boy has been raised as a prostitute from the tender age of 4, serving various lords and barons. He has mastered the wondrous tongue twister technique that will make you question your existence and wetting your breeches is not uncommon. To invest in an hour with this stallion, you will need 225 US Dollars.
We will soon release the full list of available ladies and some more exotic gentlemen as well as their prices.
Foxtrot - A woman of mysterious origin, she is a true paragon of sexual desire. Her forte lies in her knowledge of all toys, as well as their ideal uses. An hour with this underage gem will cost you 280 US Dollars.
Granger - Short and golden, this little lady specialises in SS officer roleplaying as well as various, more tentative, fetish styles. She will absolutely rock your world, as long as you're ready for new experiences and a kinder surprise. Currently, creating the lebensraum for an hour with this rough flower will cost you 270 US Dollars.
Trash Boat - Born in the slums of the far away land of Argentina, this boy has been raised as a prostitute from the tender age of 4, serving various lords and barons. He has mastered the wondrous tongue twister technique that will make you question your existence and wetting your breeches is not uncommon. To invest in an hour with this stallion, you will need 225 US Dollars.
Someone say brothel? I got an offer!
Blitzfrog - An experiment gone wrong but doesn't fail to impress. By kissing this frog you will greeted to a exotic prince who many claim changed their lives in ways "unexpected". While also an animal in bed, this beast's tongue is quite the reckoning and guarantees pleasure of the highest quality through the use of the trademarked technique, the blitzlick(tm). This and more will cost you 600 US Dollars, and as an added bonus for an extra 10 US Dollars, ask him for an exclusive "roasting" offer for the maximum extravaganza experience.
Blitzfrog - An experiment gone wrong but doesn't fail to impress. By kissing this frog you will greeted to a exotic prince who many claim changed their lives in ways "unexpected". While also an animal in bed, this beast's tongue is quite the reckoning and guarantees pleasure of the highest quality through the use of the trademarked technique, the blitzlick(tm). This and more will cost you 600 US Dollars, and as an added bonus for an extra 10 US Dollars, ask him for an exclusive "roasting" offer for the maximum extravaganza experience.
Sign me up for work
I've seen his resume, he is a natural. 10/10 recommendationYuudachi-kun wrote:
Sign me up for work
Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME?? THE BAR IS CLOSED_SkyFall wrote:
Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
SHOO, SHOO
WHAT?! That's really unfortunate. I'm really sorry for your loss. Is there any chance of the bar opening again?Foxtrot wrote:
ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME?? THE BAR IS CLOSED_SkyFall wrote:
Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
SHOO, SHOO
Oh, looks like I'm late. Should have ordered a vino bianco when I had the chance.
It is definitely one of my favourite drinks. Except not really.
It is definitely one of my favourite drinks. Except not really.
The place where the dreams of a real man become trueRyoid wrote:
the bar were close :sniff:
and what is a brothel anyway?
If you were asking seriously here you are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothel
...to many indecent word that i don't need to know but thanks for answering anyway_SkyFall wrote:
The place where the dreams of a real man become true
If you were asking seriously here you are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothel
Topic Starter
literally risen from the grave what is up the bar is reopened
First things first, you're gonna need some employees. I offer my services, as I'm a professional fraud accountant, and tax evading being quick and efficient is my strong point.
Don't bin my CV. xx
Don't bin my CV. xx
Topic Starter
Comfy Slippers is HIRED as our accountant because I suck with numbers.
Also yuhaii, You're welcome. Feel free to drink those problems away in the warmth of this here abode
Also yuhaii, You're welcome. Feel free to drink those problems away in the warmth of this here abode
Looking forward to working with you!
i swallow btw
Welcome back! To ensure quality, OT Royal Society is going to send in an inspector sometime soon to make sure the Off-Topic Bar is up to OT's standards. Drinks up everyone!
teen drinking is very very very bad
yo i got a fake id tho
yo i got a fake id tho
Gotta have that 99% alcoholjohnmedina999 wrote:
teen drinking is very very very bad
yo i got a fake id tho
Welcome back! I've been drinking every slushie that I probably did not steal.
it'll be a shitpost on the beach for me!
who's in the bar tonight?
who's in the bar tonight?
Topic Starter
For those of you seeking more, intimate, drinks and such, may I direct you to the back room.
I'm trying to serve reputable shitposters in here.
@cl8n, enjoy your drink!
I'm trying to serve reputable shitposters in here.
@cl8n, enjoy your drink!
*drinks*
*hiccup*
*drinks*
*hic- thump*
*hiccup*
*drinks*
*hic- thump*
few months later
Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
Topic Starter
What do you mean we can't have after-party strippers.Comfy Slippers wrote:
few months later
Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
My life's work for this.
Unbelievable.
ok as a plan to make more money we now also sell bags of peanuts.
Yo Dawns, hit me up with one of those Shirley Temples.
Dawnsday wrote:
What do you mean we can't have after-party strippers.Comfy Slippers wrote:
few months later
Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
My life's work for this.
Unbelievable.
ok as a plan to make more money we now also sell bags of peanuts.
I've got a plan boss, now hear me out on this! Listen up, back on the east bloc i have some connections and.. yanoe.. we can work this out by shipping in some cheapass eastern hunnies. I'll promise them a prosperous life here, a visa and a place to stay. We'll use 'em for these 3 months and send 'em back afterwards. Plus, i have some cheeki breeki's who can keep their mouths shut, so you don't have to worry about anything. I just need your approval and for you to keep this under the rug.
Greetings From OT Royal Society of Quality
All official establishments must undergo an inspection to assure it is up to quality standards. I have the clipboard with me so let's begin
✓ Specialty drinks
✓ 99% Alcohol verification
✓ No shit going down
X Facility Maintenance
X Safety Hazard
✓ Staff Rights
✓ 99% Alcohol verification
✓ No shit going down
X Facility Maintenance
X Safety Hazard
✓ Staff Rights
Mr., err, Dawnsday. Ok, all seems to be in order but the state of this place. I heard you just came back from the monkey crib, so I will be lenient just this time. Next inspection will be in about 50k posts, so the OT Royal Society of Quality expects the place to be in a tip-top shape.
,,,,,,,,,,,Sincerely Head of OT Royal Society of Quality
abraker
abraker
Well I dunno...
Huh, I forgot all about the inspection. It's been ages.
Oh well, I'll just shrug it off for now.
*whistles away*
Oh well, I'll just shrug it off for now.
*whistles away*
No one is even here... Time to convert it into a strip club!
my fiance is ignoring me to play dauntless instead. dawns i know it's been a while but i need you to mix me the goddamn best Shitpost on the Beach you've ever mixed. sad friday night is calling
Topic Starter
clayton wrote:
my fiance is ignoring me to play dauntless instead. dawns i know it's been a while but i need you to mix me the goddamn best Shitpost on the Beach you've ever mixed. sad friday night is calling
3 months late, but better late than never!
The famous OT!Bar returns.
I'm somewhat risen from the grave, quarantine brings purpose, but better of all quarantine brings business.
I hope you've all been keeping well.
Rules remain as usual for the establishment, behave yourselves and enjoy yourselves. Stock images are the preferred form of art.
Come one and come all
To The Grand(er) Reopening (again) of OT!Bar.
Finally! I'd like some of that nine-nine/¢
Topic Starter
abraker wrote:
Finally! I'd like some of that nine-nine/¢
Your 99 cents have been ordered. In the meantime enjoy a complimentary bowl of peanuts
abraker wrote:
ftfy.
Have some decency, its a public place smh.
thanks flan
Trashipitus is a contagious disease
Trashipitus is a contagious disease
Topic Starter
roshan117 wrote:
a monster plez
Your monster beverage, sir.
Also yeah please social distance in my bar. If you cough I ain't serving ye
oi were pets allowed in here?
I am not a pet. Was a regular here a while back.
so wildlife is allowed?
I'd like to order a song called "I want it that way" by the Backstreet boys sung by ROS abraker.
Topic Starter
Pets of a REASONABLE size are allowed in, provided they are behaved.
Guide dogs allowed in regardless of size.
One apple juice coming right up
I'm a bartender not a miracle worker.
Guide dogs allowed in regardless of size.
FelicianoGasai wrote:
Im a minor can i get some apple juice pretty please
One apple juice coming right up
Tad Fibonacci wrote:
I'd like to order a song called "I want it that way" by the Backstreet boys sung by ROS abraker.
I'm a bartender not a miracle worker.
I am still expecting my 99 cents.
Do you serve food here as well?
I want a liter of Cola.
Topic Starter
abraker wrote:
I am still expecting my 99 cents.
here's a dollar, this bar goes above and beyond
eblf2013 wrote:
Do you serve food here as well?
That we do. Have done for a while!
Puzzle wrote:
I want a liter of Cola.
Wildly unhealthy, and we dont serve in liters. You can have a glass of Coke though
Dawnsday wrote:
Puzzle wrote:
I want a liter of Cola.
Wildly unhealthy, and we dont serve in liters. You can have a glass of Coke though
I'm in a bar, you're not supposed to care about my health
Give me a liter of cola
Topic Starter
-snip-
I couldn't think of a funny stock image to put coke on, so here's your boringly bland coke.
I couldn't think of a funny stock image to put coke on, so here's your boringly bland coke.
gimme tea with a little... kick 
Dawnsday wrote:
-snip-
I couldn't think of a funny stock image to put coke on, so here's your boringly bland coke.
Ah, fuck. It's not perfect, but I'll take it. Thanks bud.
If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice
eblf2013 wrote:
If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice
Hey Eblf what's up
Fancy seeing you in this here bar
If you are anything like me then you too
would be concerned that I didn't get my order of 99 cents yet
Topic Starter
abraker wrote:
If you are anything like me then you too
would be concerned that I didn't get my order of 99 cents yet
[img]snip. fuck your image.
sorry this was a specialist order, we had to call in the big guns.
eblf2013 wrote:
If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice
i edited an actual image for the last one. but this one was WAY funnier
Uhmmmm Mr. Danwsday bartender sir, what kind of cents are these?
Topic Starter
How do you expect me to import American cents given current world events. Enjoy your cents.
Well, it seems great.
Good evening Puzzle! I came hereto collect confidential information to dinner.
Puzzle wrote:
eblf2013 wrote:
If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice
Hey Eblf what's up
Fancy seeing you in this here bar
Good evening Puzzle! I came here
e-excuse me mister bawtendew siw, my mommy wants a bwoody mawy, can i get wun?
Heyo Dawnsday, keep bein' chill. Here's some coin fer yer troubles.
Topic Starter
keremaru wrote:
e-excuse me mister bawtendew siw, my mommy wants a bwoody mawy, can i get wun?
Yeah sure can your mommy provide some ID.
ColdTooth wrote:
Heyo Dawnsday, keep bein' chill. Here's some coin fer yer troubles.
Much appreciated, patron.
I need to take a break. Relax, destress in this bar. I dont know what's going on with these posts everywhere. They're definitely not me. Its giving me the jitters. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eyes, too. A flash of a color or some movement that shouldn't be there... that isnt there.
I think it's just the stress. I'm hoping relaxing in this bar can help rescue me from this situation
I think it's just the stress. I'm hoping relaxing in this bar can help rescue me from this situation
Dawns, what's on your specialty menu?
Dawnsday wrote:
eblf2013 wrote:
Do you serve food here as well?
That we do. Have done for a while!
in that case i would like a dish of spaghetti with bolognese sauce. It’s definitely one of my favourite meals.
(wb)
Uhhhhh.... newcomer here, what do I do?
why is orange juice so popular
abraker wrote:
why is orange juice so popular
Because orange juice is the best drink obviously. No need for alchool when you can clench you thirst with orange juice.
A glass of blood orange juice please!
I'll like a glass of milk
maybe some cookies pls.
maybe some cookies pls.
This bar is suddenly very busy. Good luck, Dawnsday!
Well, since I can't get what I originally wanted, I suppose I'll order a drink.
I'd like some green tea please.
I'd like some green tea please.
I'd actually like to see Dawnsday's bar wreck Ashton's tea business
Topic Starter
abraker wrote:
Dawns, what's on your specialty menu?
Food, order something and find out if it was on the menu.
Serraionga wrote:
Dawnsday wrote:
eblf2013 wrote:
Do you serve food here as well?
That we do. Have done for a while!
in that case i would like a dish of spaghetti with bolognese sauce. It’s definitely one of my favourite meals.
(wb)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wrote:
Uhhhhh.... newcomer here, what do I do?
Think of it like Vietnam's internet cafes, but you order food and drinks.
samX500 wrote:
I'd like some nice orange juice thank you very much
For you.
eblf2013 wrote:
A glass of blood orange juice please!
[Sick]Catcat wrote:
I'll like a glass of milk
maybe some cookies pls.
Enjoy, Santa.
Tad Fibonacci wrote:
Well, since I can't get what I originally wanted, I suppose I'll order a drink.
I'd like some green tea please.
for you
Hmmm I'd like some bat soup
Dawnsday wrote:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wrote:
Uhhhhh.... newcomer here, what do I do?
Think of it like Vietnam's internet cafes, but you order food and drinks.
Ahhhh alright. Can I have a $20 game card and a bag of shrimp snack