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Off-Topic Bar!

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Luqanted
can i get uh coffee plz
Foxtrot
Unfortunately the bar must be closed until due notice because of the bartender's circumstances. Thank you for your patronage and we hope to make business with you soon.

. . .



*sniff*
Aurani
This bar is now a brothel.

We will soon release the full list of available ladies and some more exotic gentlemen as well as their prices.

Foxtrot - A woman of mysterious origin, she is a true paragon of sexual desire. Her forte lies in her knowledge of all toys, as well as their ideal uses. An hour with this underage gem will cost you 280 US Dollars.

Granger - Short and golden, this little lady specialises in SS officer roleplaying as well as various, more tentative, fetish styles. She will absolutely rock your world, as long as you're ready for new experiences and a kinder surprise. Currently, creating the lebensraum for an hour with this rough flower will cost you 270 US Dollars.

Trash Boat - Born in the slums of the far away land of Argentina, this boy has been raised as a prostitute from the tender age of 4, serving various lords and barons. He has mastered the wondrous tongue twister technique that will make you question your existence and wetting your breeches is not uncommon. To invest in an hour with this stallion, you will need 225 US Dollars.
abraker
Someone say brothel? I got an offer!


Blitzfrog - An experiment gone wrong but doesn't fail to impress. By kissing this frog you will greeted to a exotic prince who many claim changed their lives in ways "unexpected". While also an animal in bed, this beast's tongue is quite the reckoning and guarantees pleasure of the highest quality through the use of the trademarked technique, the blitzlick(tm). This and more will cost you 600 US Dollars, and as an added bonus for an extra 10 US Dollars, ask him for an exclusive "roasting" offer for the maximum extravaganza experience.
Yuudachi-kun
Sign me up for work
abraker

Yuudachi-kun wrote:

Sign me up for work
I've seen his resume, he is a natural. 10/10 recommendation
_SkyFall
Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
Foxtrot

_SkyFall wrote:

Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME?? THE BAR IS CLOSED

SHOO, SHOO
_SkyFall

Foxtrot wrote:

_SkyFall wrote:

Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME?? THE BAR IS CLOSED

SHOO, SHOO
WHAT?! That's really unfortunate. I'm really sorry for your loss. Is there any chance of the bar opening again?
Serraionga
Oh, looks like I'm late. Should have ordered a vino bianco when I had the chance.

It is definitely one of my favourite drinks. Except not really.
Ryoid
the bar were close :sniff:
and what is a brothel anyway?
_SkyFall

Ryoid wrote:

the bar were close :sniff:
and what is a brothel anyway?
The place where the dreams of a real man become true :D
If you were asking seriously here you are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothel
Ryoid

_SkyFall wrote:

The place where the dreams of a real man become true :D
If you were asking seriously here you are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothel
...to many indecent word that i don't need to know but thanks for answering anyway :)
Topic Starter
Dawns


literally risen from the grave what is up the bar is reopened
Comfy Slippers
First things first, you're gonna need some employees. I offer my services, as I'm a professional fraud accountant, and tax evading being quick and efficient is my strong point.

Don't bin my CV. xx
yuhaii
thank you dawnsday, forever
i will get drunk
Topic Starter
Dawns
Comfy Slippers is HIRED as our accountant because I suck with numbers.

Also yuhaii, You're welcome. Feel free to drink those problems away in the warmth of this here abode
Comfy Slippers
Looking forward to working with you!



i swallow btw
abraker
Welcome back! To ensure quality, OT Royal Society is going to send in an inspector sometime soon to make sure the Off-Topic Bar is up to OT's standards. Drinks up everyone!

johnmedina999
teen drinking is very very very bad

yo i got a fake id tho
abraker

johnmedina999 wrote:

teen drinking is very very very bad

yo i got a fake id tho
Gotta have that 99% alcohol
ColdTooth
Welcome back! I've been drinking every slushie that I probably did not steal.
clayton
it'll be a shitpost on the beach for me!

who's in the bar tonight?
Topic Starter
Dawns
For those of you seeking more, intimate, drinks and such, may I direct you to the back room.

I'm trying to serve reputable shitposters in here.

@cl8n, enjoy your drink!

abraker
*drinks*

*hiccup*

*drinks*

*hic- thump*
Comfy Slippers
few months later



Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
Topic Starter
Dawns

Comfy Slippers wrote:

few months later



Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
What do you mean we can't have after-party strippers.

My life's work for this.

Unbelievable.

ok as a plan to make more money we now also sell bags of peanuts.
DJ Enetro
Yo Dawns, hit me up with one of those Shirley Temples.
Comfy Slippers

Dawnsday wrote:

Comfy Slippers wrote:

few months later



Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
What do you mean we can't have after-party strippers.

My life's work for this.

Unbelievable.

ok as a plan to make more money we now also sell bags of peanuts.


I've got a plan boss, now hear me out on this! Listen up, back on the east bloc i have some connections and.. yanoe.. we can work this out by shipping in some cheapass eastern hunnies. I'll promise them a prosperous life here, a visa and a place to stay. We'll use 'em for these 3 months and send 'em back afterwards. Plus, i have some cheeki breeki's who can keep their mouths shut, so you don't have to worry about anything. I just need your approval and for you to keep this under the rug.
abraker

Greetings From OT Royal Society of Quality

All official establishments must undergo an inspection to assure it is up to quality standards. I have the clipboard with me so let's begin
Specialty drinks
99% Alcohol verification
No shit going down
X Facility Maintenance
X Safety Hazard
Staff Rights
Mr., err, Dawnsday. Ok, all seems to be in order but the state of this place. I heard you just came back from the monkey crib, so I will be lenient just this time. Next inspection will be in about 50k posts, so the OT Royal Society of Quality expects the place to be in a tip-top shape.
,,,,,,,,,,,Sincerely Head of OT Royal Society of Quality


abraker
Dialect
Well I dunno...
abraker
Huh, I forgot all about the inspection. It's been ages.

Oh well, I'll just shrug it off for now.

*whistles away*
Dialect
No one is even here... Time to convert it into a strip club!
clayton
my fiance is ignoring me to play dauntless instead. dawns i know it's been a while but i need you to mix me the goddamn best Shitpost on the Beach you've ever mixed. sad friday night is calling
Topic Starter
Dawns

clayton wrote:

my fiance is ignoring me to play dauntless instead. dawns i know it's been a while but i need you to mix me the goddamn best Shitpost on the Beach you've ever mixed. sad friday night is calling


3 months late, but better late than never!



The famous OT!Bar returns.

I'm somewhat risen from the grave, quarantine brings purpose, but better of all quarantine brings business.

I hope you've all been keeping well.

Rules remain as usual for the establishment, behave yourselves and enjoy yourselves. Stock images are the preferred form of art.


Come one and come all

To The Grand(er) Reopening (again) of OT!Bar.
abraker
Finally! I'd like some of that nine-nine/¢
Topic Starter
Dawns

abraker wrote:

Finally! I'd like some of that nine-nine/¢


Your 99 cents have been ordered. In the meantime enjoy a complimentary bowl of peanuts
abraker
Flanster

abraker wrote:


ftfy.

Have some decency, its a public place smh.
roshan117
a monster plez
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