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Off-Topic Bar!

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Foxtrot
1,165 posts
Joined April 2012
Foxtrot
After these two orders, the kitchen is gonna be closed for today. The cook has to sleep and the bar needs to serve more drinks!

Yuudachi-kun wrote:

Yes
SPOILER

There you go, an order of bulgogi beef with rice. Hope you enjoy it.

Ryoid wrote:

Yay! More food
Can i have some tuna steak
SPOILER
Seared ahi tuna steaks are a must. Hope you enjoy it.

And don't forget to tip the bartender!
Yuudachi-kun
5,434 posts
Joined August 2014
Yuudachi-kun
That is fucking delicious
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

Aomi wrote:

well.. i've been really slow at painting this one image and i just criticize myself so much to the point of thinking about quitting and it irritates me so much gghhhh.
also its way too hot.
my head started hurting a while ago too ):
i need to sleep.

ty for the drink btw !! looks amazing.
may i order some tteokkbokki to go along with it?
Ah, the true bane of every artist is their own indulgence in self criticism, try not to worry about it too much. Your work's amazing Aomi!

Go grab some rest after you've finished your food. Don't forget to kiss the Chef :^
Ryoid
250 posts
Joined May 2017
Ryoid

Yuudachi-kun wrote:

That is fucking delicious
KupcaH
2,830 posts
Joined January 2016
KupcaH
Can I order grill chicken with rice?
Foxtrot
1,165 posts
Joined April 2012
Foxtrot

KupcaH wrote:

Can I order grill chicken with rice?
We apologize, but according to my this bar's policies, the kitchen is not open yet. Thank you for your patience! Meanwhile, I would recommend ordering a fresh mimosa to start off the day.
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
It's Friday and thus, activity in the bar day! Anyone here that'd be willing for openhouse karaoke at some point (Probably once I return from work so like, early hours of the morning GMT.)
Stefan
Global Moderator
10,425 posts
Joined January 2011
Stefan
I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft. 4 x 4 animal style. Extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze. Light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swehmh.

And bring me some water.
Faust
osu! Alumni
4,785 posts
Joined January 2009
Faust
Hopefully you guys serve mango sorbet.

Who can resist ?
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

Stefan wrote:

I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft. 4 x 4 animal style. Extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze. Light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swehmh.

And bring me some water.
Not sure what I can do about your first order, but water I can handle

D. Rink.

Faust wrote:

Hopefully you guys serve mango sorbet.

Who can resist ?
You'd have to speak to someone good at preparing food who works at this establishment (*cough* @Foxtrot).

In the meantime, a drink perhaps?
Foxtrot
1,165 posts
Joined April 2012
Foxtrot
Kitchen is open again. Thank you for waiting!

KupcaH wrote:

Can I order grill chicken with rice?
Just grilled chicken with rice? Uh, sure. Would you like anything to drink?

Chik'n Rice

Faust wrote:

Hopefully you guys serve mango sorbet.

Who can resist ?
No one can, that's the answer!

Mango mango oh so tango

The perfect dessert for the summer. Enjoy, and thank you for your patronage.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker

Dawnsday wrote:

abraker wrote:

Then why does it taste like my hat with just frosting on top?
That's the intended taste.
My hat tasted better
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
Wonderful to hear :)
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
Anyway I'm off work now, anyone'd be interested in karaoke or party games of some description?
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker

Dawnsday wrote:

Anyway I'm off work now, anyone'd be interested in karaoke or party games of some description?
The drinking game
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
Sports results for today!
We're a sports bar! Kinda!

Sports results! Boxed in case you want to go watch the games yourself
Community Shield:
Arsenal 1 - 1 Chelsea
(Arsenal win 4-1 on pens in the new A-B-B-A system.

A tough fought game that could've gone either way honestly. Unlucky Madvillain B)
Meah
733 posts
Joined November 2014
Meah

Is this song perfect when drinking?
Also, a can of beer please with some spicy pig intestines
Blitzfrog
389 posts
Joined March 2016
Blitzfrog
My wife divorced
She burnt my house
I lost my job
Cus I was trying to fix the broken house
I am bankrupt
Cus she stole all my money
I have nothing

GIVE ME BEER

1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
THROW EM BACK, TILL I LOSE COUNNT
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker

Blitzfrog wrote:

My wife divorced
She burnt my house
I lost my job
Cus I was trying to fix the broken house
I am bankrupt
Cus she stole all my money
I have nothing

GIVE ME BEER

1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
1
2
3
1
2
3
DRINK
THROW EM BACK, TILL I LOSE COUNNT
This is how I met this frog. He was laying- half dead- and needed money. So I offered him a job. 232 experiments later and 34,334 selling later, he is still here... somehow
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

Blitzfrog wrote:

sad


Enjoy your time. Sorry to hear about your life, I'll put this on your tab.
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
Due to our recent exposure in OT!News I'm offering a special 2 for 1 meal deal! Order a meal for yourself, get one for your friend or signifcant other too!
Ryoid
250 posts
Joined May 2017
Ryoid

Dawnsday wrote:

Due to our recent exposure in OT!News I'm offering a special 2 for 1 meal deal! Order a meal for yourself, get one for your friend or signifcant other too!
Congrats!
I want some lasagna and shark fin soup for DJ enetro (and in the end, i will eat both of them hehehe)
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

Ryoid wrote:

Dawnsday wrote:

Due to our recent exposure in OT!News I'm offering a special 2 for 1 meal deal! Order a meal for yourself, get one for your friend or signifcant other too!
Congrats!
I want some lasagna and shark fin soup for DJ enetro (and in the end, i will eat both of them hehehe)
I'll let the chef know! Can I interest you in a drink in the meanwhile?
Luqanted
825 posts
Joined November 2013
Luqanted
can i get uh coffee plz
Foxtrot
1,165 posts
Joined April 2012
Foxtrot
Unfortunately the bar must be closed until due notice because of the bartender's circumstances. Thank you for your patronage and we hope to make business with you soon.

. . .



*sniff*
Aurani
762 posts
Joined January 2013
Aurani
This bar is now a brothel.

We will soon release the full list of available ladies and some more exotic gentlemen as well as their prices.

Foxtrot - A woman of mysterious origin, she is a true paragon of sexual desire. Her forte lies in her knowledge of all toys, as well as their ideal uses. An hour with this underage gem will cost you 280 US Dollars.

Granger - Short and golden, this little lady specialises in SS officer roleplaying as well as various, more tentative, fetish styles. She will absolutely rock your world, as long as you're ready for new experiences and a kinder surprise. Currently, creating the lebensraum for an hour with this rough flower will cost you 270 US Dollars.

Trash Boat - Born in the slums of the far away land of Argentina, this boy has been raised as a prostitute from the tender age of 4, serving various lords and barons. He has mastered the wondrous tongue twister technique that will make you question your existence and wetting your breeches is not uncommon. To invest in an hour with this stallion, you will need 225 US Dollars.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Someone say brothel? I got an offer!


Blitzfrog - An experiment gone wrong but doesn't fail to impress. By kissing this frog you will greeted to a exotic prince who many claim changed their lives in ways "unexpected". While also an animal in bed, this beast's tongue is quite the reckoning and guarantees pleasure of the highest quality through the use of the trademarked technique, the blitzlick(tm). This and more will cost you 600 US Dollars, and as an added bonus for an extra 10 US Dollars, ask him for an exclusive "roasting" offer for the maximum extravaganza experience.
Yuudachi-kun
5,434 posts
Joined August 2014
Yuudachi-kun
Sign me up for work
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker

Yuudachi-kun wrote:

Sign me up for work
I've seen his resume, he is a natural. 10/10 recommendation
_SkyFall
35 posts
Joined September 2014
_SkyFall
Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
Foxtrot
1,165 posts
Joined April 2012
Foxtrot

_SkyFall wrote:

Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME?? THE BAR IS CLOSED

SHOO, SHOO
_SkyFall
35 posts
Joined September 2014
_SkyFall

Foxtrot wrote:

_SkyFall wrote:

Yo can I please have some jagermeister?
I swear I'm not a minor, the age written on my profile is surely wrong.
ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME?? THE BAR IS CLOSED

SHOO, SHOO
WHAT?! That's really unfortunate. I'm really sorry for your loss. Is there any chance of the bar opening again?
Serraionga
11,487 posts
Joined November 2014
Serraionga
Oh, looks like I'm late. Should have ordered a vino bianco when I had the chance.

It is definitely one of my favourite drinks. Except not really.
Ryoid
250 posts
Joined May 2017
Ryoid
the bar were close :sniff:
and what is a brothel anyway?
_SkyFall
35 posts
Joined September 2014
_SkyFall

Ryoid wrote:

the bar were close :sniff:
and what is a brothel anyway?
The place where the dreams of a real man become true :D
If you were asking seriously here you are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothel
Ryoid
250 posts
Joined May 2017
Ryoid

_SkyFall wrote:

The place where the dreams of a real man become true :D
If you were asking seriously here you are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brothel
...to many indecent word that i don't need to know but thanks for answering anyway :)
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_


literally risen from the grave what is up the bar is reopened
Comfy Slippers
194 posts
Joined April 2015
Comfy Slippers
First things first, you're gonna need some employees. I offer my services, as I'm a professional fraud accountant, and tax evading being quick and efficient is my strong point.

Don't bin my CV. xx
yuhaii
215 posts
Joined May 2017
yuhaii
thank you dawnsday, forever
i will get drunk
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
Comfy Slippers is HIRED as our accountant because I suck with numbers.

Also yuhaii, You're welcome. Feel free to drink those problems away in the warmth of this here abode
Comfy Slippers
194 posts
Joined April 2015
Comfy Slippers
Looking forward to working with you!



i swallow btw
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Welcome back! To ensure quality, OT Royal Society is going to send in an inspector sometime soon to make sure the Off-Topic Bar is up to OT's standards. Drinks up everyone!

johnmedina999
296 posts
Joined October 2016
johnmedina999
teen drinking is very very very bad

yo i got a fake id tho
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker

johnmedina999 wrote:

teen drinking is very very very bad

yo i got a fake id tho
Gotta have that 99% alcohol
ColdTooth
1,108 posts
Joined June 2012
ColdTooth
Welcome back! I've been drinking every slushie that I probably did not steal.
clayton
osu! Alumni
1,978 posts
Joined November 2013
clayton
it'll be a shitpost on the beach for me!

who's in the bar tonight?
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
For those of you seeking more, intimate, drinks and such, may I direct you to the back room.

I'm trying to serve reputable shitposters in here.

@cl8n, enjoy your drink!

abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
*drinks*

*hiccup*

*drinks*

*hic- thump*
Comfy Slippers
194 posts
Joined April 2015
Comfy Slippers
few months later



Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

Comfy Slippers wrote:

few months later



Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
What do you mean we can't have after-party strippers.

My life's work for this.

Unbelievable.

ok as a plan to make more money we now also sell bags of peanuts.
DJ Enetro
88 posts
Joined January 2017
DJ Enetro
Yo Dawns, hit me up with one of those Shirley Temples.
Comfy Slippers
194 posts
Joined April 2015
Comfy Slippers

Dawnsday wrote:

Comfy Slippers wrote:

few months later



Boss, I have to inform you that our balance sheet summary is worrying. We need to cut down on our expenses, we can't have 'after-party' strippers anymore!
What do you mean we can't have after-party strippers.

My life's work for this.

Unbelievable.

ok as a plan to make more money we now also sell bags of peanuts.


I've got a plan boss, now hear me out on this! Listen up, back on the east bloc i have some connections and.. yanoe.. we can work this out by shipping in some cheapass eastern hunnies. I'll promise them a prosperous life here, a visa and a place to stay. We'll use 'em for these 3 months and send 'em back afterwards. Plus, i have some cheeki breeki's who can keep their mouths shut, so you don't have to worry about anything. I just need your approval and for you to keep this under the rug.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker

Greetings From OT Royal Society of Quality

All official establishments must undergo an inspection to assure it is up to quality standards. I have the clipboard with me so let's begin
✓ Specialty drinks
✓ 99% Alcohol verification
✓ No shit going down
X Facility Maintenance
X Safety Hazard
✓ Staff Rights
Mr., err, Dawnsday. Ok, all seems to be in order but the state of this place. I heard you just came back from the monkey crib, so I will be lenient just this time. Next inspection will be in about 50k posts, so the OT Royal Society of Quality expects the place to be in a tip-top shape.
,,,,,,,,,,,Sincerely Head of OT Royal Society of Quality


abraker
Dialect
1,551 posts
Joined May 2018
Dialect
Well I dunno...
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Huh, I forgot all about the inspection. It's been ages.

Oh well, I'll just shrug it off for now.

*whistles away*
Dialect
1,551 posts
Joined May 2018
Dialect
No one is even here... Time to convert it into a strip club!
clayton
osu! Alumni
1,978 posts
Joined November 2013
clayton
my fiance is ignoring me to play dauntless instead. dawns i know it's been a while but i need you to mix me the goddamn best Shitpost on the Beach you've ever mixed. sad friday night is calling
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

clayton wrote:

my fiance is ignoring me to play dauntless instead. dawns i know it's been a while but i need you to mix me the goddamn best Shitpost on the Beach you've ever mixed. sad friday night is calling


3 months late, but better late than never!



The famous OT!Bar returns.

I'm somewhat risen from the grave, quarantine brings purpose, but better of all quarantine brings business.

I hope you've all been keeping well.

Rules remain as usual for the establishment, behave yourselves and enjoy yourselves. Stock images are the preferred form of art.


Come one and come all

To The Grand(er) Reopening (again) of OT!Bar.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Finally! I'd like some of that nine-nine/¢
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

abraker wrote:

Finally! I'd like some of that nine-nine/¢


Your 99 cents have been ordered. In the meantime enjoy a complimentary bowl of peanuts
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Flanster
5,938 posts
Joined August 2010
Flanster

abraker wrote:


ftfy.

Have some decency, its a public place smh.
roshan117
145 posts
Joined April 2016
roshan117
a monster plez
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
thanks flan

Trashipitus is a contagious disease
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

roshan117 wrote:

a monster plez





Your monster beverage, sir.

Also yeah please social distance in my bar. If you cough I ain't serving ye
Flanster
5,938 posts
Joined August 2010
Flanster
Offdensen
335 posts
Joined May 2015
Offdensen
Im a minor can i get some apple juice pretty please
ColdTooth
1,108 posts
Joined June 2012
ColdTooth
Flanster
5,938 posts
Joined August 2010
Flanster
oi were pets allowed in here?
ColdTooth
1,108 posts
Joined June 2012
ColdTooth
I am not a pet. Was a regular here a while back.
clayton
osu! Alumni
1,978 posts
Joined November 2013
clayton
so wildlife is allowed?
Tad Fibonacci
113 posts
Joined August 2015
Tad Fibonacci
I'd like to order a song called "I want it that way" by the Backstreet boys sung by ROS abraker.
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
Pets of a REASONABLE size are allowed in, provided they are behaved.

Guide dogs allowed in regardless of size.



FelicianoGasai wrote:

Im a minor can i get some apple juice pretty please



One apple juice coming right up

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

I'd like to order a song called "I want it that way" by the Backstreet boys sung by ROS abraker.


I'm a bartender not a miracle worker.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
I am still expecting my 99 cents.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,267 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
Do you serve food here as well?
ERA Puzzle
56 posts
Joined August 2012
ERA Puzzle
I want a liter of Cola.
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

abraker wrote:

I am still expecting my 99 cents.




here's a dollar, this bar goes above and beyond



eblf2013 wrote:

Do you serve food here as well?


That we do. Have done for a while!



Puzzle wrote:

I want a liter of Cola.


Wildly unhealthy, and we dont serve in liters. You can have a glass of Coke though
ERA Puzzle
56 posts
Joined August 2012
ERA Puzzle

Dawnsday wrote:

Puzzle wrote:

I want a liter of Cola.


Wildly unhealthy, and we dont serve in liters. You can have a glass of Coke though



I'm in a bar, you're not supposed to care about my health

Give me a liter of cola
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
-snip-




I couldn't think of a funny stock image to put coke on, so here's your boringly bland coke.
Ashton
2,039 posts
Joined February 2016
Ashton
gimme tea with a little... kick ;)
ERA Puzzle
56 posts
Joined August 2012
ERA Puzzle

Dawnsday wrote:

-snip-




I couldn't think of a funny stock image to put coke on, so here's your boringly bland coke.

Ah, fuck. It's not perfect, but I'll take it. Thanks bud.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,267 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice
ERA Puzzle
56 posts
Joined August 2012
ERA Puzzle

eblf2013 wrote:

If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice

Hey Eblf what's up

Fancy seeing you in this here bar
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker

If you are anything like me then you too


would be concerned that I didn't get my order of 99 cents yet



Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

abraker wrote:

If you are anything like me then you too


would be concerned that I didn't get my order of 99 cents yet



[img]snip. fuck your image.





sorry this was a specialist order, we had to call in the big guns.




eblf2013 wrote:

If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice






i edited an actual image for the last one. but this one was WAY funnier
Last edited by Wiwi_ , edited 1 time in total.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Uhmmmm Mr. Danwsday bartender sir, what kind of cents are these?
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_
How do you expect me to import American cents given current world events. Enjoy your cents.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,267 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
Well, it seems great.

Puzzle wrote:

eblf2013 wrote:

If you serve food, I would like a plate of carbonara and a glass of orange juice

Hey Eblf what's up

Fancy seeing you in this here bar


Good evening Puzzle! I came here to collect confidential information to dinner.
keremaru
228 posts
Joined November 2017
keremaru
e-excuse me mister bawtendew siw, my mommy wants a bwoody mawy, can i get wun?
ColdTooth
1,108 posts
Joined June 2012
ColdTooth
Heyo Dawnsday, keep bein' chill. Here's some coin fer yer troubles.
Wiwi_
215 posts
Joined July 2014
Topic Starter
Wiwi_

keremaru wrote:

e-excuse me mister bawtendew siw, my mommy wants a bwoody mawy, can i get wun?


Yeah sure can your mommy provide some ID.



ColdTooth wrote:

Heyo Dawnsday, keep bein' chill. Here's some coin fer yer troubles.


Much appreciated, patron.
ERA Puzzle
56 posts
Joined August 2012
ERA Puzzle
I need to take a break. Relax, destress in this bar. I dont know what's going on with these posts everywhere. They're definitely not me. Its giving me the jitters. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eyes, too. A flash of a color or some movement that shouldn't be there... that isnt there.


I think it's just the stress. I'm hoping relaxing in this bar can help rescue me from this situation
Last edited by ERA Puzzle , edited 1 time in total.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
Dawns, what's on your specialty menu?
Serraionga
11,487 posts
Joined November 2014
Serraionga

Dawnsday wrote:

eblf2013 wrote:

Do you serve food here as well?


That we do. Have done for a while!

in that case i would like a dish of spaghetti with bolognese sauce. It’s definitely one of my favourite meals. :) :D :P

(wb)
Last edited by Serraionga , edited 1 time in total.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Beatmap Nominator
936 posts
Joined April 2016
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Uhhhhh.... newcomer here, what do I do?
samX500
54 posts
Joined January 2018
samX500
I'd like some nice orange juice thank you very much
abraker
Global Moderator
8,356 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
why is orange juice so popular
samX500
54 posts
Joined January 2018
samX500

abraker wrote:

why is orange juice so popular


Because orange juice is the best drink obviously. No need for alchool when you can clench you thirst with orange juice.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,267 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
A glass of blood orange juice please!
[Sick]Catcat
248 posts
Joined January 2018
[Sick]Catcat
I'll like a glass of milk
maybe some cookies pls.
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