- INTRO -

BEHOLD MY OMNIPOTENT POWERS! Well almost, you see. I am merely the God of this thread and therefore I can do whatever I want with it. I maketh and so I can unmaketh. Pretty omnipotent, right? Ok so here is the deal: some of you are going to heaven and some of you going to hell. You don't know who but I do. You think you can change that fate? Well let's entertain that thought. If you die, automatic hell. Survive to the end and maybe you will catch a glimpse of heaven. Ready?

- Heretics -

Alive:

1. Reyalp51
2. Behrauder
3. Ashton
4. Ymir
5. Corne2Plum3
6. Kobold84
7. keremaru
8. B0ii
9. Manishh
10. Nuuskamuikkunen
11. - Marco -
12. Asian Warlord
13. Hydreigon
14. Bridget Enjoyer
15. Winnyace
16. Lapizote
17. z0z
18. her everything
19. MrMcMikey22
20. ColdTooth
21. UPR
22. McEndu

Dead:

1. Patatitta
2. Wimpy Cursed

- CHALLENGE 1 -

In front of you is a shiny golden grandiose door. It merely appears closed.




Actions:

• 
  1. Only one of you can ask me a question.
  
  2. Any of you can perform any number of actions

2. i shit on the door

2. I go to the heaven.

2. Try opening door

2. Walk away

2. Sniff the door and look closely at the door if there's any text on it

2. Crawl under the door.

trick question i'm already god

(2. kill myself, see what happens)

2. phase through the door

2. Open the door

abraker wrote:

Yo that’s the Fortnite guy

Reyalp51 wrote:

2. i shit on the door

You run up to the door looking for a bathroom but have nowhere to go. Those beans from a bit back done quite a heavy number. You unload a hole shipment on Gods doorsteps, which, to which I looked amazed I say "Great heavens son, you laid a personal hell here".

Behrauder wrote:

2. I go to the heaven.

You wish you could do that but are stuck in thought about the means of doing so.

Ashton wrote:

2. Try opening door

Carefully walking around Reyalp51's holy delivery, you attempt to go through the door. You try open it but it won't budge. You push on it and it budges a little, but it's trying to close back on you. You thought you saw something in the room through the opening before your strength gave up. Carefull, you almost stepped on a pile of shit.

Ymir wrote:

2. Walk away

You turn around away from the door and walk the other direction. You encounter a wall. Hello wall! You slowly realize you are surrounded by walls on all sides. You might need a moment to process this before panicking.

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

2. Sniff the door and look closely at the door if there's any text on it

You attempt to sniff the door but get a whiff of Reyalp51's shit instead. It has fowl beany sting to it. As you begin to loose it, you notice the door has inscriptions in some unknown language.

Kobold84 wrote:

2. Crawl under the door.

You try crawling under the door but unfortunately the spacing is not big enough for a person to fit in. Perhaps if you were a dust mite you would be small enou- aaaaaaaand your leg went into Reyalp51's shit. Good going!

Patatitta wrote:

trick question i'm already god

(2. kill myself, see what happens)

To everyone's horror you attempt to kill yourself by smashing your head against the wall repeatedly until you could no longer. You lie motionless on the floor in a bloody horrific sight.

-- HERETIC PATATITTA HAS DIED --

keremaru wrote:

3. i am also in fact an omnipotent god (actually canon see 4th padoru war) so i just watch
here's some popcorn, abraker. this is gonna take a while

You sit there imagining some alternate universe where you and God are equals. It makes you smile as you hallucinate eating popcorn with your peer.

B0ii wrote:

2. phase through the door

You, an expert in comic superpowers, have learned to phase through material objects. The door is not obstacle even for the likes of you. You put your hand on the door and phase through it. You put your hand on the door and phase through it. You- it doesn't seem to work. Where is your God now?

Manishh wrote:

2. Open the door

After Ashton's pathetic attempt to open the door you believe you could do better. With much more strength you push the door, and just when it almost gets open enough to slip through your strength fails you. You get knocked back and become the 2nd unfortunate soul to step into Reyalp51's shit.

2. Say "F*ck you" to Reyalp51 then read the text

2. Search the place for any type of object, being cautious to not stop into any piles of shit or bloody corpses as I am searching

2. Knocks the door

2. I pray for Hatsune Miku to open the door

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

2. Say "F*ck you" to Reyalp51 then read the text

You say "F*ck you", and somehow only known to God, also flawlessly pronouncing the asterisk in the word. Armed fresh with newfound linguistic confidence you attempt to read the inscription on the door. Despite the confidence, you can't make sense of it. The text has a peculiar patterning that looks rather familiar, but can't quite put a finger on it.

Nuuskamuikkunen wrote:

2. Knocks the door

You knock on the door. It's almost painful to knock. The metallic gold surface feels solid all the way through. Good way to break knuckles or a whole hand.

- Marco - wrote:

2. I pray for Hatsune Miku to open the door

You pray for the blue haired pop singer Hatsune Miku to come to the stage and enchant the door open. You pray and pray, never having to stop and think if it's ok to trap her here with you, the heretics, the shit on the floor, and a dead corpse.

2. Offer blood sacrifices to the Door.

2. Ejaculate on the door

2. Tells the group that the text (probably) says: "The few cannot sacrafice the desires of mony".

There appears to be a typo. What a "grandiose" wall.

1. Why has heaven downgraded and now uses a.i doors

Wtf is going on lmao

Kobold84 wrote:

2. Offer blood sacrifices to the Door.

You look at Patattita's dead corpse and get a brilliant idea. You go to the corpse and drag it to the door. You make sure to put it over the pile of shit so that nobody else steps onto it. You take your hand and thrust it into Patattita's body, soaking your hand in blood. You take it out and smear it across the door. Silence. . . despite that definitely satisfying the definition of blood sacrifice, the door remains unchanged.

Asian Warlord wrote:

2. Ejaculate on the door

Watching at what Kobold84 has done somehow turned you on. You push Kobold84 aside, stand on Patattita's corpse, and go down to business. Everybody watches in shear horror. As God, I broadcast a live feed of this act to Patattita down in hell, who shall now suffer even more.

Ashton wrote:

2. Tells the group that the text (probably) says: "The few cannot sacrafice the desires of mony".

There appears to be a typo. What a "grandiose" wall.

You say that, but you could also discuss it amongst yourselves in this thread instead ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hydreigon wrote:

1. Why has heaven downgraded and now uses a.i doors

Confirm whether that's the question, for everyone, you want to ask.

2. give shit to the door

2. Goes over to patatitta to take his shirt off of his bloody corpse, makes my way to the shit pile (and ejaculation) and cleans the mess. Puts the mess into the corner of the room.

Gang, I think we need multiple people attempting to open the door. One person was able to push it open slightly, so multiple people should be able to budge the door open wide enough. Even if a few of us gets through we can gather more information.

I cleaned the shit and ejaculation from the floor so nobody else steps in it.

I think we should reserve the question for a more vital moment. I urge Heidregon to withdraw his question...

2. show the door my epic yo-yo skills and then wait patiently

2. pray

2. Click on one, false gate on two

2. Ask you why am I right and where's mom

2. I pull the door

3. Kill God

2. i eat some popcorn

2. wait until someone attempts to open the door to take a peek beyond the door

2. noclip through the door

her everything wrote:

2. noclip through the door

based.

I can't solve the cypher.

abraker wrote:

- Marco - wrote:

2. I pray for Hatsune Miku to open the door

You pray for the blue haired pop singer Hatsune Miku to come to the stage and enchant the door open. You pray and pray, never having to stop and think if it's ok to trap her here with you, the heretics, the shit on the floor, and a dead corpse.

If I were a smart guy i wouldn't be here in OT

Kobold84 wrote:

I can't solve the cypher.

The few cannot sacrafice the desires of many

Wimpy Cursed wrote:

2. give shit to the door

You go over to the door and roll over Patattita's corpse to reveal the smushed pile of shit underneath. Without hestiation you scoop the pile and smear it across the golden rich door. I guess that'll show it.

Ashton wrote:

2. Goes over to patatitta to take his shirt off of his bloody corpse, makes my way to the shit pile (and ejaculation) and cleans the mess. Puts the mess into the corner of the room.

Fed up with the other heretics making a bloody shit mess of things (literally), you take matters into your own hands and do proper cleaning. You tried your best, it ain't perfect, but it will do.

Bridget Enjoyer wrote:

2. show the door my epic yo-yo skills and then wait patiently

You put your hand into your pocket and feel something. It's yo-yo! It make sense things that came with your cloth are still there. Like what is God going to do? Strip you naked? You take out a yo-yo from your pocket and demonstrate the door how you intend to win the yo-yoing championship this year. The door watches motionlessly, but it believes you got a handle on things unlike itself.

B0ii wrote:

2. pray

Seeing that the phase through the door attempt failed, you feel powerless. "I-Impossible!", you think. Completely defeated, your resort to prayer like - Marco -. But pray to who? Doesn't matter you pray! Pray for what? Doesn't matter! The act of simply praying must move the door. The door remains unmoved. Bummer.

KatouMegumi wrote:

2. Click on one, false gate on two

These actions, understood only by God, are carried out in the same cryptic manner they were thought of. Yet they seem unaffective.

Winnyace wrote:

1. Ask you why am I right and where's mom

Confirm whether that's the question, for everyone, you want to ask.

Lapizote wrote:

2. I pull the door

You try to pull the door but your hand keeps on slipping. If only it had a handle!

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

3. Kill God

Frustrated at being trapped with other heretics you attempt to go for the root of the evil and kill God. I appear before you with a smirk and raised eyebrow, amused by the challenge. You try to grab me but go right through. "Hahaha that tickles!". You might need to think of a better plan of attack to challenge an omnipotent being.

Reyalp51 wrote:

2. i eat some popcorn

Feeling relieved of your bowls, you look at Keramaru, who looks like an asylum patient trying to eat something. You go over to sit by them and ask them for whatever they are having. They are apparently eating popcorn with God. You join try to join in on eating some of that imaginary holy popcorn.

z0z wrote:

2. wait until someone attempts to open the door to take a peek beyond the door

So you wait . . .

her everything wrote:

2. noclip through the door

Seeing B0ii reduced from hero to powerless sheep believer, you show what true superpowers look like. See you don't phase through the door, you noclip through it. It's a very important distinction. As you stand before the door, you gather your strength and noclip right through to same place. Wait. Nani? You try again. It doesn't seem to work. Where is your God now?

guys we all need to push the door together for fucks sakes, it's the only way at this point

2. push the door

I assume we need more sacrifices. But I'll help you out.

2. Push the door.

ISNT THAT WHAT I FUCKING SAID YEARS AGO

2. Push the door with the others

Ashton wrote:

ISNT THAT WHAT I FUCKING SAID YEARS AGO

2. Push the door with the others

should of said it louder

guys wait there's shit on the door

2. wipe the shit off the door with whatever I can find, then help the others in pushing the door

2. Douse hinges in oil for lubrication and try opening the door

2. put yo-yo away and start pushing the door

Okiii imma follow others lel

2. Push the door

2.)



I turn the door into a living object. O_O

2) Stare at the door. What else can this low-IQ Vulpix do?

that wasn't an actual question, just a rhetorical statement