yesterday's incident made me think. it made me think really hard about myself. i realised that i had changed, for the worse. so, i decided, "why not become old sametdze again?"

i started by going through my old posts and you can definitely tell that the samet we had then is very different to the samet we have now. some of the posts made me embarassed, but then i realised that the sametdze from that time period didn't care. samet only cared for his trains and all of the facts about them. then i looked at my posts from now. all of them are, well, you know. not very kind, not very thought through. all of them feel wrong.

then, after reflecting on what i used to be, i decided to just say, "fuck it, we foam" and quite literally become the sametdze from then.
in order to become old sametdze, i decided to do the following:
-get rid of DOOM
-swap out my "ARMY" t shirt (like the one cal wears in zero day) for my amtrak t shirt
-unsubscribe from hickok45
-resubscribe to virtual railfan
-reinstall trainz sim
-promise myself not to watch either elephant 2003 or zero day ever again
-get out the box of model trains and started work on a new railroad
-watched some episodes of thomas and listened to some thomas songs (mostly thomas, you're the leader and accidents happen)
-watched some older thomas videos where they used the actual tomy toys and stuff
-went outside and railfanned for the first time in a long time. not just a quick peek of the trains when they come by, but an actual railfanning session. i sat down with nothing, not even my phone, and just watched as each train came by. in about 45 seconds, i could feel myself having that same guilt i did yesterday. but it was slowly overidden because each train that passed by made me happier and happier. in general, today was arguably one of the best days of my life because i felt extremely happy. for the first time in like, 5 months, things felt right. my eyes got watery as i was walking back home while listening to he's a really useful engine, because things haven't felt anything like this for a long time. life is good once more.

then i came back and thought to myself. "ok, so i just did that. but what did old samet also do?"
he loved making threads on OT. usually ones that would have others join in on the fun, or maybe threads that would promote positivity in some way. sometimes, it would even be threads that would teach others about most interests, mostly being trains. and so, i decided, why not make a thread about being happy and positive. that's what old samet probably would've told me to do.

samedge is dead. samet is back. return to railfan begins now.

or i could just stay off of OT for a couple years, but i don't reckon that would be very fun for me.