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Topic Starter
B0ii
:P
It's just a silly little guy!

okay now that the moderators are gone, here's the actual post

ON TODAY'S EPISODE OF: AM I REALLY SUICIDAL? OR AM I JUST BEING SCHIZO?

TODAY WE WILL SEE IF IM JUST BEING SILLY OR IF IM ACTUALLY MENTALLY I'LL!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS EPISODE WAS SPONSORED BY SOMETHING IDK I FOR GOT THEIR NAME
Reyalp51
lostsilver
i really hope you're alright...
Patatitta

Reyalp51 wrote:

I fucking love wholesome badass images
Corne2Plum3
If you really have suicidal, really, seek for help. This is something that you should always take seriously.

Patatitta wrote:

Reyalp51 wrote:

I fucking love wholesome badass images
Same
sametdze
why
NicNock
I was not aware you could say this without getting the thread nuked within the first millisecond. I'm not quite sure what to do with this information.
z0z
the image is very silly
Achromalia
i fear i can only hope to see you heal and live well. i dont think i've learned or listened enough to know how to say anything meaningful or empathetic for what shit you've seen. maybe it's some kind of slimy platitude,, but i would like to imagine you will be ok someday :')

i will cheer you on, from behind the screen...

NicNock wrote:

I was not aware you could say this without getting the thread nuked within the first millisecond. I'm not quite sure what to do with this information.
i vaguely believed that too for a moment, but i also lament that even when we suggest anything remotely suicidal or self-destructive with ourselves, either nobody listens or cares and nothing changes, or too many people care in ways that scare us and incidentally enable us to feel guilty (and also nothing changes)

ultimately, even if being online may be your only active outlet, it's hard to expect there would be any reason to hope for anything to happen or change in your favor. if i restrain myself and say nothing, i have to either endure or evade whatever suffocating dreaded mentally-ill doomspiral ive encountered. if i "vent" about it, i have to recognize the consequences of being neurotic online with a mild public meltdown over something that nobody can do anything about because i refuse to be vulnerable when it counts

ultimately, i just repeatedly retreat to escapism and distraction and inaction

there really isnt any other familiar "clear" option other than drowning it out and numbing it and shelving it away for later, or finding some kind of false catharsis to counterbalance it with something you might be more willing to weigh (or something easier to control)

Corne2Plum3 wrote:

If you really have suicidal, really, seek for help. This is something that you should always take seriously.
because notions like this quote above... are usually very very flat/ineffective even when someone isnt even wrong to suggest it

but like, how much can anyone realistically do? it always becomes your responsibility to look for help on your own, and you dont even know where to go that would ever actually do anything for you beyond undercooked platitudes or otherwise-reasonable critique that leaves you more guilty/ashamed/exhausted than before

its notable that it may be incredibly difficult to trust some random hotline to be accurately effective and proportionate, and even harder to trust someone online who offers their time or their heart to listen to you when they may not really know you or have an accurate understanding of what you might need through what you'd be willing to recognize as a viable next step

Reyalp51 wrote:

i do adore this immensely though <33 thats really sweet if im in a reasonable enough condition to be receptive
Topic Starter
B0ii
Good news everybody: I'm still alive!

First of all I just want to thank all of you for the support that you guys have given me. I just wanna say something that can probably help clarify the situation:

I have been having some intense mood swings recently, specifically with the intensity of my emotions. I could be neutral about everything happening around me in one moment, and in the next I will be crying over one small mistake. Whenever I'm in that "crying over one mistake" mindset, it's mainly due to stress and stuff. And this stress also comes with bad thoughts, including the ones I shared in op. But now I'm over it and doing fine.


Reyalp51 wrote:

This shit goes hard asf
lostsilver

B0ii wrote:

Good news everybody: I'm still alive!

First of all I just want to thank all of you for the support that you guys have given me. I just wanna say something that can probably help clarify the situation:

I have been having some intense mood swings recently, specifically with the intensity of my emotions. I could be neutral about everything happening around me in one moment, and in the next I will be crying over one small mistake. Whenever I'm in that "crying over one mistake" mindset, it's mainly due to stress and stuff. And this stress also comes with bad thoughts, including the ones I shared in op. But now I'm over it and doing fine.
i'm super glad you're okay!! we're all here cheering you on, dude!! <33
Achromalia

B0ii wrote:

Good news everybody: I'm still alive!

First of all I just want to thank all of you for the support that you guys have given me. I just wanna say something that can probably help clarify the situation:

I have been having some intense mood swings recently, specifically with the intensity of my emotions. I could be neutral about everything happening around me in one moment, and in the next I will be crying over one small mistake. Whenever I'm in that "crying over one mistake" mindset, it's mainly due to stress and stuff. And this stress also comes with bad thoughts, including the ones I shared in op. But now I'm over it and doing fine.

Reyalp51 wrote:

This shit goes hard asf
<3

this seems pretty understandable, i imagine emotional regulation is a little bit of a disorienting experience in that case... i seem to feel something similar to this, where i have a very muted but somewhat abrupt crisis and i start to spiral from... various causes;; it really is totally enrapturing, it swallows you and compels you to dwell longer/deeper than youre prepared to with something terribly despairing in that moment. i dont know what it means to you or what it is that you experience in its details, but if we're anything alike, i hope there's some solace in having similar patterns we can understand and recognize from each other :>

and im grateful youre ok now :) i suppose it doesnt just mean things are solved, theres so much we end up facing anyway even when we gather our bearings, but... it does seem sweet that you can stand for a moment now and take another look at what you want to do now

good luck out there ^^
Noreu

B0ii wrote:

:P
It's just a silly little guy!

okay now that the moderators are gone, here's the actual post

ON TODAY'S EPISODE OF: AM I REALLY SUICIDAL? OR AM I JUST BEING SCHIZO?

TODAY WE WILL SEE IF IM JUST BEING SILLY OR IF IM ACTUALLY MENTALLY I'LL!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS EPISODE WAS SPONSORED BY SOMETHING IDK I FOR GOT THEIR NAME
sponsored by xanax and selectra with the help of lyrica

AND I DIDNT MADE A GRAFITTI FOR YOU FOR NOTHING??? you are NOT killing YOURSELF!!! you should love yourself. NOW!!!
sametdze

B0ii wrote:

Good news everybody: I'm still alive!

First of all I just want to thank all of you for the support that you guys have given me. I just wanna say something that can probably help clarify the situation:

I have been having some intense mood swings recently, specifically with the intensity of my emotions. I could be neutral about everything happening around me in one moment, and in the next I will be crying over one small mistake. Whenever I'm in that "crying over one mistake" mindset, it's mainly due to stress and stuff. And this stress also comes with bad thoughts, including the ones I shared in op. But now I'm over it and doing fine.
ah ok, i see. good to see you've come back all happy and stuff, we don't want you to die cuz that means no more :/ guy and we love the :/ guy
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