nah I'm being an ass about the mic yeah lmao
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We luv old tchPolyspora wrote:
please dont start a new cult over old tech please pleaseMaxIsABigKaiju wrote:
i respect windows 7 users, thank you for not switching
o
“autism”
? missing contextMaxIsABigKaiju wrote:
“autism”
...
but ig "missing context" is kind of a lot of who you are to me and my thoughts for you? i wish i knew/understood more before suggesting any of the varied impressions i have of you
INCREDIBLY pretty me! page, lovely sense of style, and some profoundness!! Perfectionist tier top plays. I think you'd be someone I'd get along with well. I quite enjoy the vibes you and your profile gives ^^Achromalia wrote:
? missing contextMaxIsABigKaiju wrote:
“autism”
...
but ig "missing context" is kind of a lot of who you are to me and my thoughts for you? i wish i knew/understood more before suggesting any of the varied impressions i have of you
i hope i did this right? i don't post on the forums ever,,,
why am I still getting pinged in this thread
----
I dont know you.
----
I dont know you.
i also dont know you
tysm ;o; thats like my ideal impression to leave to someone at a personal level... i write my own quotes!! and hopefully will organize my original art and music enough to find what i would love to share in the artistry section...nephri wrote:
INCREDIBLY pretty me! page, lovely sense of style, and some profoundness!! Perfectionist tier top plays. I think you'd be someone I'd get along with well. I quite enjoy the vibes you and your profile gives ^^
i hope i did this right? i don't post on the forums ever,,,
i really love the way you type, your page is very cozy from the reassuring and nourishing reminders and kindnesses you offer people <3 and it all makes me more curious and hopeful that you might visit the forums more
and you did the game right dont worry!! ^^ its sweet that youre trying, i wish you luck and comfort in these forums but if youre not here a lot, then i wish you luck and peace in life
...
hi !! i know a little bit about you though, i hope you'll continue to find happiness :>reffty_gag wrote:
i also dont know you
Hi ! You must be new at this forum !!Achromalia wrote:
hi !! i know a little bit about you though, i hope you'll continue to find happiness :>reffty_gag wrote:
i also dont know you
i have deja vu with you idk why, like ik you before
hmm? do you mean someone else?reffty_gag wrote:
Hi ! You must be new at this forum !!Achromalia wrote:
hi !! i know a little bit about you though, i hope you'll continue to find happiness :>reffty_gag wrote:
i also dont know you
i have deja vu with you idk why, like ik you before
or did you forget how to play the chromatic scale? ;o;
oh sheet i have to practice my chromatic scale, so i can play FlIgHt oF ThE bUmBlEbEe At 15 NoTeS/sEc So i CaN bEaT tHe GuInNeSs WorLd ReCoRdAchromalia wrote:
hmm? do you mean someone else?reffty_gag wrote:
Hi ! You must be new at this forum !!Achromalia wrote:
hi !! i know a little bit about you though, i hope you'll continue to find happiness :>reffty_gag wrote:
i also dont know you
i have deja vu with you idk why, like ik you before
or did you forget how to play the chromatic scale? ;o;
we luv piano guy <3 maybe if you do then you could have a "gacor kang" moment to share with peoplereffty_gag wrote:
oh sheet i have to practice my chromatic scale, so i can play FlIgHt oF ThE bUmBlEbEe At 15 NoTeS/sEc So i CaN bEaT tHe GuInNeSs WorLd ReCoRdAchromalia wrote:
hmm? do you mean someone else?reffty_gag wrote:
Hi ! You must be new at this forum !!
i have deja vu with you idk why, like ik you before
or did you forget how to play the chromatic scale? ;o;
i will await you being back as always :>
hit hard by pp changes
Did you stopped playing 2 months ago?
This user hasn't done anything notable recently!
mostly seems to post thoughts in terms of valuing/measure/considering users for their charting/mapping and gameplay achievements...
I've met you a lot of times in OT. You also make good music and you're killing the leaderboard of "Thread Necromancy".
...ok,, poor-taste messaging and delivery in this instance without anything particularly constructive (although i guess it can be argued that this could be trying to imply "you will be more productive in relationships by being outside doing something, or basically anything other than being here")...
...in practice, this can easily just appear indistinguishable from simply being a random out-of-pocket comment on something personal that rhythm was being vulnerably open and unguarded with
its not as though any us of us are obligated to engage or say anything or even necessarily sympathize, but idk, i imagine the image of being followed with critique about something you shared would become why people grow resentful or guarded or unwilling to be vulnerable or worse-yet become less able to regulate themselves because there was nowhere else to be cringe :'/
your view of what you meant probably didnt appear to you that way at the time and you probably had your own reasons in mind, so my response could be read as some overreaction, but in service of your honest thoughts, these are mine, although i might be mistaken or rude to make these suggestions
ok i think i wandered a lot, here would be my point:
qualifying our statements with extra information and context for our perceptions is usually what i believe will be how we avoid being mistaken by some people as intentionally insensitive. there is more involved than that (another part of many could be how decisive conclusions can negatively affect the sensitivity of how you deliver a point), but this is probably one of the bigger parts of it :O
otherwise youre cool :> you feel like a functionally very sweet person in many ways, so i tend to wish i understood how to be the kind of person that wouldnt be as guarded and sensitive as i seem to be
...maybe any rude critique im making therefore could instead reflect that i fear becoming insensitive and as a result i impulsively project/weaponize that vigilance to monitor how other people communicate, which in itself could be quite hypocritically insensitive of me
idk, humanity and communication is complicated, but we're all still ok :p
...in practice, this can easily just appear indistinguishable from simply being a random out-of-pocket comment on something personal that rhythm was being vulnerably open and unguarded with
its not as though any us of us are obligated to engage or say anything or even necessarily sympathize, but idk, i imagine the image of being followed with critique about something you shared would become why people grow resentful or guarded or unwilling to be vulnerable or worse-yet become less able to regulate themselves because there was nowhere else to be cringe :'/
your view of what you meant probably didnt appear to you that way at the time and you probably had your own reasons in mind, so my response could be read as some overreaction, but in service of your honest thoughts, these are mine, although i might be mistaken or rude to make these suggestions
ok i think i wandered a lot, here would be my point:
qualifying our statements with extra information and context for our perceptions is usually what i believe will be how we avoid being mistaken by some people as intentionally insensitive. there is more involved than that (another part of many could be how decisive conclusions can negatively affect the sensitivity of how you deliver a point), but this is probably one of the bigger parts of it :O
otherwise youre cool :> you feel like a functionally very sweet person in many ways, so i tend to wish i understood how to be the kind of person that wouldnt be as guarded and sensitive as i seem to be
...maybe any rude critique im making therefore could instead reflect that i fear becoming insensitive and as a result i impulsively project/weaponize that vigilance to monitor how other people communicate, which in itself could be quite hypocritically insensitive of me
idk, humanity and communication is complicated, but we're all still ok :p
I mean, stop oversharing would actually be quite healthy to this guy, every single time he did so he got shitted on, and then went right back to it.
uuuh achromalia very cool very cool
uuuh achromalia very cool very cool
poly cool
mate that tower had an erection
thats a much more understandable take;; at first, it mistakenly appeared like you were shitting on him yourself... although thanks to listening to you more and loosely understanding some context for how you communicate, i figured maybe it wouldnt have been meant that wayPolyspora wrote:
I mean, stop oversharing would actually be quite healthy to this guy, every single time he did so he got shitted on, and then went right back to it.
it would be troubling if rhythm developed an unhealthy relationship with shame as a result of sharing something that subjects him to people's opinions on his troubles with attractive people who treat him terribly, not just because it would be damaging for how rhythm tries to understand himself, but also because it could easily bleed into interactions with others and how he socializes or seeks relationships in the future-- we ideally don't want to enable more incel culture
i hope that's not distressing for him to read from us, it often is kind of awkward and gross to be typing about people who are right in front of you, so to speak... rhythm has the autonomy to make these decisions, but ideally if anyone does make a comment or conversation out of his experiences, then at least it might be constructive enough to inform or aid him in how he thinks about it so that he can use that autonomy to carefully and patiently and kindly grow as a person
poly once again is kinda nice :> keep being sweet and aware and sincere, or however else you like, whatever it is you think suits you <3
...
oh,, i was late lol
i dont really know very much abt you but,, wimpy nice too :> i wish your writing serves you well, explore and play with it how you like and observe how other people write too to inform yourself <3
I dont act in a way that suits me, I'm just... me. sometimes being me is good and other times is bad
uuuuuuuuuuuuh achromalia mega cool!!!!!!!1
uuuuuuuuuuuuh achromalia mega cool!!!!!!!1
thats fair, phrases like "i think it suits me" are weird and imprecise to refer to separate concepts entirely (the difference between "this behavior matches a role that i want to fill that describes/labels me" and "this is the behavior that simply reflects how i am and/or who i want to be"), but it was still my own inaccuracy anywayPolyspora wrote:
I dont act in a way that suits me, I'm just... me. sometimes being me is good and other times is bad
uuuuuuuuuuuuh achromalia mega cool!!!!!!!1
the "you" that you are, though... this you may grow/change to be better at some things later on, and as i view it, often times thats influenced by what you prioritize/care about now-- perhaps its a matter of semantics but arguably i'm "just me" as well, being sincere even in the many ways i opt to find something that "suits me", or in how i find ways to suit other environments. i act a little differently in each occasion, but that's usually just me too, even if out-of-place and not originally sourced from who i appear to be
its because of me sincerely liking and expressing it that makes it "just me", i would think. the lack of forcing myself to like something i wouldn't, even if who i do like to represent from myself would take force to express. similarly, i imagine you being generally content to experience/respond how you already do instead of finding something artificially "suitable" to perform is still in itself "just you"-- these are products of our autonomous intent, and if you don't intend to be anyone other than you (the definition of which might vary? by this, i mean that you don't want to change yourself to emulate any characteristics of anyone else that aren't already part of your own selfhood, and in "being someone else", i mean to adopt the characteristics i genuinely want to express through mirroring how other people express them and then reshaping them how i like to)
or maybe we fundamentally perceive our own behavior differently? or if i'm mistaken about that, then i guess we simply behave fundamentally differently as i originally thought
partner in crime <3
gud artist <3
he reminds me of myself when i was younger despite there only being a two year age gap between us lol
so bright and happy, it's honestly really up-lifting or something to read what you post here. keep being goated reffty
so bright and happy, it's honestly really up-lifting or something to read what you post here. keep being goated reffty
keep being sheeped sametsametdze wrote:
he reminds me of myself when i was younger despite there only being a two year age gap between us lol
so bright and happy, it's honestly really up-lifting or something to read what you post here. keep being goated reffty
Windows 7
yeah now you're all edgy and shit!sametdze wrote:
he reminds me of myself when i was younger despite there only being a two year age gap between us lol
so bright and happy, it's honestly really up-lifting or something to read what you post here. keep being goated reffty
uuuuh for max: a child.
Choose beef
probably for a reason;;Polyspora wrote:
yeah now you're all edgy and shit!sametdze wrote:
he reminds me of myself when i was younger despite there only being a two year age gap between us lol
so bright and happy, it's honestly really up-lifting or something to read what you post here. keep being goated reffty
i must be missing the point of your posts... the haphazard (playful?) tone they appear with doesn't tend to help
i think its reasonable to expect that some people will cathartically spiral in self-loathing (whether or not they're hoping for someone to listen and care), where not everyone will have receptive friends or safer outlets to express these feelings and experiences with. i'd prefer to give people some grace for being a little bit of a mess. and i'm already kind of a mess in my own right, so it would only be fair
if you wanted to send an underlying message (i imagine it's something like "being self-destructive on the internet wont get you therapy or solve your problems", maybe), it might be possible to use that message explicitly instead of whatever this is? because it just reads as insensitive/unproductive in contexts where people might happen to be visibly vulnerable. if productive pragmatism was the goal, clearer communication of the helpful point you might want to make would be more effective
unfortunately,, kind of simultaneously stiff and playful in an awfully awkward dichotomy, sometimes disconnected from off-topic culture, to the extent of gradually becoming a metaphorical lightly-used punching bagCorne2Plum3 wrote:
usually ok :>
I feel like you're not baiting so I'll answer sincerely, even if its cringe.
the point is a sneaky ironic criticism on his behavior, with a hint of hopelessness that he'll change mixed with some indifference.
I dont tend to see people as victims, I dont feel superior to them. so thats why I'll go "auuugh this fucking guy" and not "oooh, man are yo ok???"
cute words never solved shit or made me feel better, so maybe its an exercise of empathy? if it didnt help me it wont help him. what was of assistance for me was some cold water bath and a reality check, with sneaky criticism!!!!!
ok please dont make me explain this ever again!!!! love you <3 <3 <3
the point is a sneaky ironic criticism on his behavior, with a hint of hopelessness that he'll change mixed with some indifference.
I dont tend to see people as victims, I dont feel superior to them. so thats why I'll go "auuugh this fucking guy" and not "oooh, man are yo ok???"
cute words never solved shit or made me feel better, so maybe its an exercise of empathy? if it didnt help me it wont help him. what was of assistance for me was some cold water bath and a reality check, with sneaky criticism!!!!!
ok please dont make me explain this ever again!!!! love you <3 <3 <3
i think that's interesting to me. does it seem to you like being invested in helping someone is necessarily always a demonstration of "seeing people as victims" or "feeling superior"? from how i interpret this, maybe what you're describing is that you dislike what you consider to be empty platitudes and patronizing pity...
that's probably fine. in fact it might be helpful if that's something that worked for someone and if they understood what you intended to say, but i tend to find your own ironic critique similarly empty and pointless if it wasn't for that potential effect
in that sense, it seems like you project your experience similarly to how i would-- "it happened for me, it must mean it would happen for them". we're making judgments about how to interact with people on the basis of what made sense to us-- cute words solved shit for me, comforted me and gave me hope in people being ok and safe to be with. i've often found the callousness of others to drive me away, and this is often why i've been wary around you even when you otherwise tend to seem more gentle in practice through you actually doing something and reaching out or checking on someone that's already in your circle that you want to do something with
i figure a lot of the conflicts people endure are a result of this-- projection of what worked for them, employing it with the impression they might be being useful and therefore empathetic, and/or imposing it more decisively either by nature or with a purpose in mind
i think it was for similar reasons and impressions that i was more likely to be dry with you, believing that this would avoid compelling you to artificially engage with my overelaborate cute decorative words, hoping that by cutting it out you might find something more meaningful. but for me, it fundamentally transformed the dynamic in a rather negative direction because i couldn't really enjoy myself when i was compelled to be dry-- therefore, we were probably incompatible
resignation and indifference is understandable, i suppose
i wonder if you view cute words and care as necessarily artificial and insincere if the things i say are genuinely ambiguous enough for you to question if they're "bait"
im sincere and cringe and prefer it that way, especially when im decorative about it
ultimately, explain or remain unexplained, i'll probably continue to openly wonder about this regarding you. there are so many people vaguely similar to this dynamic with you, and they all fascinate me just as much as they intimidate me
i'm weary, but i would like to learn more. and so that's why i ask and wonder, that's why i think as much as i do
for clarity, you're still as ok to me as you were before, if you happen to be curious about what my opinion is (judging by how you tend to say people "flip" on you). although i've grown to imagine that maybe you're quite accurate in suggesting you don't care what people think or believe, and... that's probably as clear an explanation for things as any
that's probably fine. in fact it might be helpful if that's something that worked for someone and if they understood what you intended to say, but i tend to find your own ironic critique similarly empty and pointless if it wasn't for that potential effect
in that sense, it seems like you project your experience similarly to how i would-- "it happened for me, it must mean it would happen for them". we're making judgments about how to interact with people on the basis of what made sense to us-- cute words solved shit for me, comforted me and gave me hope in people being ok and safe to be with. i've often found the callousness of others to drive me away, and this is often why i've been wary around you even when you otherwise tend to seem more gentle in practice through you actually doing something and reaching out or checking on someone that's already in your circle that you want to do something with
i figure a lot of the conflicts people endure are a result of this-- projection of what worked for them, employing it with the impression they might be being useful and therefore empathetic, and/or imposing it more decisively either by nature or with a purpose in mind
i think it was for similar reasons and impressions that i was more likely to be dry with you, believing that this would avoid compelling you to artificially engage with my overelaborate cute decorative words, hoping that by cutting it out you might find something more meaningful. but for me, it fundamentally transformed the dynamic in a rather negative direction because i couldn't really enjoy myself when i was compelled to be dry-- therefore, we were probably incompatible
resignation and indifference is understandable, i suppose
i wonder if you view cute words and care as necessarily artificial and insincere if the things i say are genuinely ambiguous enough for you to question if they're "bait"
im sincere and cringe and prefer it that way, especially when im decorative about it
ultimately, explain or remain unexplained, i'll probably continue to openly wonder about this regarding you. there are so many people vaguely similar to this dynamic with you, and they all fascinate me just as much as they intimidate me
i'm weary, but i would like to learn more. and so that's why i ask and wonder, that's why i think as much as i do
for clarity, you're still as ok to me as you were before, if you happen to be curious about what my opinion is (judging by how you tend to say people "flip" on you). although i've grown to imagine that maybe you're quite accurate in suggesting you don't care what people think or believe, and... that's probably as clear an explanation for things as any
OT's biggest derail
im not quite sure if this is a good derail or a bad derail, nonetheless though its a derail
OT: a person who writes massive walls of text which are fun to read... could go in more depth but i dont feel like it
im not quite sure if this is a good derail or a bad derail, nonetheless though its a derail
OT: a person who writes massive walls of text which are fun to read... could go in more depth but i dont feel like it
complicated thoughts, i don't clearly remember all of my impressions of you...
i generally view you more positively than most people. you're often interesting and sweet and incredibly sincere as far as i can tell, and i feel generally comfortable around you :)
you don't seem to be around as often as you used to... i suppose that's since these breaks are much harder to come by after summer passed by, but i tend to wonder where you've gone and will sometimes just idly think of you while i browse
i wish you well, as always
i generally view you more positively than most people. you're often interesting and sweet and incredibly sincere as far as i can tell, and i feel generally comfortable around you :)
you don't seem to be around as often as you used to... i suppose that's since these breaks are much harder to come by after summer passed by, but i tend to wonder where you've gone and will sometimes just idly think of you while i browse
i wish you well, as always
walls of text
droplets of text
You killing me woman with ALOT of text 😭😭😭
language barrier aah sentencereffty_gag wrote:
You killing me woman with ALOT of text 😭😭😭
OT: brightens up the mood with his playful sentences
as though i were to be the sea...reffty_gag wrote:
You killing me woman with ALOT of text 😭😭😭
i contain in me breadth and depth for people, hoping to sustain them with a buoyant surface, capable of taking them into me and molding them, either reforming them or simply letting them be. maybe they merely follow my currents and wash up somewhere new while found just the same as they already were. but i can, with that depth, smother them in my mind of contexts and conditions, my fears and my vulnerabilities, to never return from the bathyal and abyssopelagic zones
...except i never seem to allow that. i want to envelop people deep within me, but i fear too much to let them stay there-- i fear i may crush them in my negligence and high-pressure currents of rumination, yet at the same time... i also fear that they may harm the ecosystem of sealife within me
they must survive, even thrive, without me
and i must remain where i am, at the periphery of civilization <3
as for sametdze, take some heart, feast on joy, and stay curious ^^sametdze wrote:
Seems like a pretty nice guy
someone who is almost described as a messiah for the OT forum
personally ion see it
personally ion see it
shut up stomiks is the messiahsametdze wrote:
someone who is almost described as a messiah for the OT forum
personally ion see it
opinion: please go visit remi
thats the worst thing you could've said
opinion: was cool back then, I think my first thread was about you
opinion: was cool back then, I think my first thread was about you
Epic tewi man
never seen you before somehow
I think I got silenced by you some time ago lol
Polyspora wrote:
shut up stomiks is the messiahsametdze wrote:
someone who is almost described as a messiah for the OT forum
personally ion see it
I think everyone got silenced by lyawi or rockroller at least once, they're literally team rocket
anyway stomiks very cute, would marry
anyway stomiks very cute, would marry
cute and sweet sometimes
hey! my mom say the same thing!
uh achromalia, always cute and sweet but unpredictable!
uh achromalia, always cute and sweet but unpredictable!
Brazilian tewi
Who
Lives on OT and stopped grinding the game a few years ago.
don't really know ya, but you seem nice!!
reffty_gag wrote:
gud artist <3
whatPolyspora wrote:
SHUT THE UF CPAKXC ´=ASG-==F[ OPJUYHPUP
--------
indonesian child we all love
train
Nothing. I honestly can't think of a single thing.
you have lots to learn, and lots more to love about life :>
i find you more "safe" than others on OT (idk how to say it, but im sure you know what im trying to say). the fact that you're capable of expressing how you feel simply makes me amazed because i struggle to express myself in the way that you do; i could only ever pray to have such writing skills.
aside from that, you are definitely a kind and understanding person, so keep doign that
aside from that, you are definitely a kind and understanding person, so keep doign that
my heart is warmed ;-; to think that someone feels safer when they're near me... i think that feeling has been a lot of what i hoped to cultivate, and i thank you for sharing it. i just hope that i havent made an empty platitude or a false promise, given how little i feel i ever really understand from people and their experience with living :')
i wonder if you benefit from transparency/sincerity in this sense... i currently prize being a little bit more emotionally open and transparent when possible, and more specifically, i want transparency and sincerity to be at the core of how i communicate, so... maybe that would be a little bit of why i might appear more safe? because i dont want to poison my interactions with a foreign sardonic bitterness or callous irony that disregards what people see and feel. those are perspectives through which our conversations are variably received and digested, and i want to nourish and feed them with the best information i can give, so that they can address it safely with the right headspace to give these conversations the care they might require
to return to you, although i recognize you would like to have been better with writing... i think your writing can sometimes be rather exceptional, especially here. it may not seem the most eloquent, but i personally believe it is as clear and compelling as it needs to be to communicate what you want, and i feel it demonstrates a kind of receptiveness and curiosity and openness you might carry toward any people you take interest in... which could prove to be a fruitful and healthy place to start :)
also, frozen fleeting heart <3
i wonder if you benefit from transparency/sincerity in this sense... i currently prize being a little bit more emotionally open and transparent when possible, and more specifically, i want transparency and sincerity to be at the core of how i communicate, so... maybe that would be a little bit of why i might appear more safe? because i dont want to poison my interactions with a foreign sardonic bitterness or callous irony that disregards what people see and feel. those are perspectives through which our conversations are variably received and digested, and i want to nourish and feed them with the best information i can give, so that they can address it safely with the right headspace to give these conversations the care they might require
to return to you, although i recognize you would like to have been better with writing... i think your writing can sometimes be rather exceptional, especially here. it may not seem the most eloquent, but i personally believe it is as clear and compelling as it needs to be to communicate what you want, and i feel it demonstrates a kind of receptiveness and curiosity and openness you might carry toward any people you take interest in... which could prove to be a fruitful and healthy place to start :)
also, frozen fleeting heart <3
im not gonna lie, you also make me feel safe lol,,,
you're really good at what you do, and you're a very kind and curious person!! <3
you're really good at what you do, and you're a very kind and curious person!! <3
college student, car enthusiast, visual code, dry irony, perceptibly "normal", reasonably moderate
i thought they were too long...? i felt like you wouldnt like them and stop halfway through and have to work for it all the time, and that sounds... exhausting... im not sure i should want to do that with you anymore
but if you mean it, then... i can try ^^;;
...
to add to what ive already shared about my time with you:
...well, i still feel guilty, i think. i feel like i havent yet expressed my acknowledgement of the effort you seem to be giving, like i havent really done your time the justice it deserved, or something... it looked to me like you invested a lot and couldnt get anything from it, and for that i feel sorry i wasnt more appreciative or receptive or willing to give more of myself in return. i didnt say enough, didnt share enough, wasnt decisive enough, wasnt direct enough, wasnt normal enough
i fear you a little bit, the interpretable duality of you appearing both callous and sweet, appearing both bluntly insensitive and yet cognitively empathetic, and yet it all feels so in-character. i frequently feel like i perceive distorted ideas of you that arent reflected in who you really are. you seem so assured in yourself, with a dry understated texture to you, wooden and plain but weathered in interesting little places that i dont recognize and dont really connect with that well yet
i imagine im not any better, i must appear rather unpredictable somewhere, being neurotic or paranoid or impractical at one moment, then appearing facetious or "polite" (even if i fully believe im sincere in my concern and curiosity), then being suddenly "fucked up" and callous and rude in my own way when im defensive/protective of myself or when oblivious to something
we are probably kind of complicated for each other. i feel lost, i dont understand what i want when im with you, and i dont understand if i should do something in particular, or... but then you seem so nice at other times, and i question myself
i dont know
but if you mean it, then... i can try ^^;;
...
to add to what ive already shared about my time with you:
...well, i still feel guilty, i think. i feel like i havent yet expressed my acknowledgement of the effort you seem to be giving, like i havent really done your time the justice it deserved, or something... it looked to me like you invested a lot and couldnt get anything from it, and for that i feel sorry i wasnt more appreciative or receptive or willing to give more of myself in return. i didnt say enough, didnt share enough, wasnt decisive enough, wasnt direct enough, wasnt normal enough
i fear you a little bit, the interpretable duality of you appearing both callous and sweet, appearing both bluntly insensitive and yet cognitively empathetic, and yet it all feels so in-character. i frequently feel like i perceive distorted ideas of you that arent reflected in who you really are. you seem so assured in yourself, with a dry understated texture to you, wooden and plain but weathered in interesting little places that i dont recognize and dont really connect with that well yet
i imagine im not any better, i must appear rather unpredictable somewhere, being neurotic or paranoid or impractical at one moment, then appearing facetious or "polite" (even if i fully believe im sincere in my concern and curiosity), then being suddenly "fucked up" and callous and rude in my own way when im defensive/protective of myself or when oblivious to something
we are probably kind of complicated for each other. i feel lost, i dont understand what i want when im with you, and i dont understand if i should do something in particular, or... but then you seem so nice at other times, and i question myself
i dont know
Its not that I started appreciating the long walls of text, its just that its what makes you, you.
so the simple answer you gave me prior is just, empty. even if its not actually meaningless.
I didnt receive an achromalia answer when I was expecting one.
to be honest I kinda miss these walls of text, I dont think I've talked that deeply with someone for over 6 years.
things just dont feel that important nowadays, I'm just living and waiting for something to happen.
anyway that was a signature achromalia answer!!!!! thanks
so the simple answer you gave me prior is just, empty. even if its not actually meaningless.
I didnt receive an achromalia answer when I was expecting one.
to be honest I kinda miss these walls of text, I dont think I've talked that deeply with someone for over 6 years.
things just dont feel that important nowadays, I'm just living and waiting for something to happen.
anyway that was a signature achromalia answer!!!!! thanks
mm, then i suppose i appear more real/authentic if im typing long paragraphs
i do like walls of text :) explorative depth is fulfilling for me to receive from people, and i love to give just as much, but i just... i guess im not always ready to give myself to all that many people
for me, things feel far too important, everything seems more meaningful and consequential than im ever able to account for, i care too much about things that dont conventionally matter nearly as much to people, i dont really move on or let go or do anything other than freeze in place and retreat from everything. and even then, even when i presumably could be doing something about those urgent things... i think i would say the same thing you have, that i also have just been living and waiting for something to happen
im not sure if that really reflects an objective reality about you or the world around us. not nearly as much as it could just mean that im not enough for the world around me, presumably because im not willing to "take responsibility" for myself and my agency and at least try
you seem more well-equipped at that, and so i seem to tentatively look up to you in that sense
i do like walls of text :) explorative depth is fulfilling for me to receive from people, and i love to give just as much, but i just... i guess im not always ready to give myself to all that many people
for me, things feel far too important, everything seems more meaningful and consequential than im ever able to account for, i care too much about things that dont conventionally matter nearly as much to people, i dont really move on or let go or do anything other than freeze in place and retreat from everything. and even then, even when i presumably could be doing something about those urgent things... i think i would say the same thing you have, that i also have just been living and waiting for something to happen
im not sure if that really reflects an objective reality about you or the world around us. not nearly as much as it could just mean that im not enough for the world around me, presumably because im not willing to "take responsibility" for myself and my agency and at least try
you seem more well-equipped at that, and so i seem to tentatively look up to you in that sense
i wish i fully understood what makes people so "colourful"
which isn't a thought specific to you, but it's something i find myself thinking a lot. for something more specific, i think you're unfair to yourself in regards to your ability (potential ability?), maybe as unfair as i am with myself at times (though i guess i can't really be sure?). you've got more going for yourself than you seem to think you do, is what i think i'm trying to say
which isn't a thought specific to you, but it's something i find myself thinking a lot. for something more specific, i think you're unfair to yourself in regards to your ability (potential ability?), maybe as unfair as i am with myself at times (though i guess i can't really be sure?). you've got more going for yourself than you seem to think you do, is what i think i'm trying to say
I think if you rationalize why you feel what you feel and why you think what you think. You become aware of feelings and thoughts. Once you know yourself better, you will start to see others better. Of course, some actions and thoughts are not easily rationalized even by experts.
i'd hope so...Asaiga wrote:
Once you know yourself better, you will start to see others better.
the "<3 Philosophical Psychology" checks out, i suppose
>>
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
trains?
i still don't quite understand why i remember you... but i don't quite remember you enough to have anything to say in particularAsaiga wrote:
I think if you rationalize why you feel what you feel and why you think what you think. You become aware of feelings and thoughts. Once you know yourself better, you will start to see others better. Of course, some actions and thoughts are not easily rationalized even by experts.
i'm unsure how to evaluate i would add or respond with toward what you're saying, although it's entirely intelligible...
mm, i've wondered this before but often find the suggestion unconvincing (not to suggest i'm unconvinced as a result of a definitive or rational conclusion, i think i just don't feel as though everything has been resolved enough to clear any doubt) when that potential isnt reliably exercised, especially when i seem to not recognize what abilities i might have. if i dont have any clarity with who i am or what i can do, and if i dont trust myself without the certainty i look to cling to, then i wouldnt have known or proved to myself whether that imagined potential was ever really true. i'm also highly risk-averse, or at least seem to convince myself of it at inopportune and irrational fleeting moments on a whim, which tends to mean i don't even really try to do anything with myself to find out whether i am or am not capable of something...synthwavesquid wrote:
i wish i fully understood what makes people so "colourful"
which isn't a thought specific to you, but it's something i find myself thinking a lot. for something more specific, i think you're unfair to yourself in regards to your ability (potential ability?), maybe as unfair as i am with myself at times (though i guess i can't really be sure?). you've got more going for yourself than you seem to think you do, is what i think i'm trying to say
...but in many cases, i have tried something, it just appears that i haven't tried "hard enough" or "long enough", or i haven't tried quite the right approach in order to see a fruitful outcome. this tends to happen with my art and music-- most of anything i create is stopped halfway somewhere in variably anemic conditions... songs last only 30 seconds, or art consists only of a partial sketch or ambiguous linework or blocked-in coloring or something...
or more distressingly, the art and music i try to make isnt even what i wanted to make to start with
i never seem to make what i want, and outside of creative contexts, i never seem to do what i want
...as for your query for "color"...
i don't think i know about that yet either. inquiries similar to yours were what i've fixated on, sampling and examining how people communicated their emotions and frustrations and how they developed logical arguments or otherwise expressed their perspectives (as well the sources and components of those perspectives), while also trying to examine my own expression and communication of "color". all of this was color i didn't fully understand, color which i didn't know how to identify and recognize for some time. but ultimately, there was some kind of chromaticism, and i wanted to understand how it composed me
i think it led to where i am now, increasingly anxious and pensive and sentimentally attached to particular ideals and comforts that i would've liked to indulge in. i don't really know how to characterize my chromatic sentimentality and rationale yet...
...
you were always a curiosity that i dont think i had a clear or confident impression of. you always seemed so beyond me, nebulously sitting somewhere outside my scope, where my focal points would always miss the point. and yet i wanted to watch and examine you from afar, not being perceived and not mutually engaging, completely leaving each other alone, sharing audiovisual psycho-semantic information indirectly between each other
but that's not possible to my awareness beyond the merest facsimile that words and collaborative rhetoric can offer, so i'm effectively blind to what you experience, and i can't really imagine what you see if i have to view it through my own lenses...
through your history with people in the forum, you seem entirely ok to me, a neutral benign party that i vaguely admire or otherwise seem to look up to
Pretty much someone I highly respect in the forums here. Your words may be text vomit but I like someone who expresses their thoughts and feelings like you do.
urgh i remember you from the stick era and i wish i remembered more... you always seemed so well-liked, and i think i appreciated your presence too...? but it's not clear to me
you seem ok :> probably a balance of maturely-respectable and comfortably-awkward traits? i dont know enough to actually conclude anything though, so i can only wish you well and hope you'll visit from time to time
you seem ok :> probably a balance of maturely-respectable and comfortably-awkward traits? i dont know enough to actually conclude anything though, so i can only wish you well and hope you'll visit from time to time
i... actually expected that to be the case (maybe moreso "knew" some things), but i wasn't sure how to word anything so i kind of massively oversimplified my point, but i think you still got what i meantAchromalia wrote:
textmm, i've wondered this before but often find the suggestion unconvincing (not to suggest i'm unconvinced as a result of a definitive or rational conclusion, i think i just don't feel as though everything has been resolved enough to clear any doubt) when that potential isnt reliably exercised, especially when i seem to not recognize what abilities i might have. if i dont have any clarity with who i am or what i can do, and if i dont trust myself without the certainty i look to cling to, then i wouldnt have known or proved to myself whether that imagined potential was ever really true. i'm also highly risk-averse, or at least seem to convince myself of it at inopportune and irrational fleeting moments on a whim, which tends to mean i don't even really try to do anything with myself to find out whether i am or am not capable of something...synthwavesquid wrote:
i wish i fully understood what makes people so "colourful"
which isn't a thought specific to you, but it's something i find myself thinking a lot. for something more specific, i think you're unfair to yourself in regards to your ability (potential ability?), maybe as unfair as i am with myself at times (though i guess i can't really be sure?). you've got more going for yourself than you seem to think you do, is what i think i'm trying to say
...but in many cases, i have tried something, it just appears that i haven't tried "hard enough" or "long enough", or i haven't tried quite the right approach in order to see a fruitful outcome. this tends to happen with my art and music-- most of anything i create is stopped halfway somewhere in variably anemic conditions... songs last only 30 seconds, or art consists only of a partial sketch or ambiguous linework or blocked-in coloring or something...
or more distressingly, the art and music i try to make isnt even what i wanted to make to start with
i never seem to make what i want, and outside of creative contexts, i never seem to do what i want
...as for your query for "color"...
i don't think i know about that yet either. inquiries similar to yours were what i've fixated on, sampling and examining how people communicated their emotions and frustrations and how they developed logical arguments or otherwise expressed their perspectives (as well the sources and components of those perspectives), while also trying to examine my own expression and communication of "color". all of this was color i didn't fully understand, color which i didn't know how to identify and recognize for some time. but ultimately, there was some kind of chromaticism, and i wanted to understand how it composed me
i think it led to where i am now, increasingly anxious and pensive and sentimentally attached to particular ideals and comforts that i would've liked to indulge in. i don't really know how to characterize my chromatic sentimentality and rationale yet...
...
you were always a curiosity that i dont think i had a clear or confident impression of. you always seemed so beyond me, nebulously sitting somewhere outside my scope, where my focal points would always miss the point. and yet i wanted to watch and examine you from afar, not being perceived and not mutually engaging, completely leaving each other alone, sharing audiovisual psycho-semantic information indirectly between each other
but that's not possible to my awareness beyond the merest facsimile that words and collaborative rhetoric can offer, so i'm effectively blind to what you experience, and i can't really imagine what you see if i have to view it through my own lenses...
through your history with people in the forum, you seem entirely ok to me, a neutral benign party that i vaguely admire or otherwise seem to look up to
despite all that, i definitely see something there. i don't know what it is, maybe because it hasn't come to fruition yet, but i take it both of us know i'm not saying it "just to be nice" or to feel good about myself. i guess whatever it is, it would take a lot of resolution/work/whatever to bring it out, maybe more than you can do at the moment. i don't know, but it doesn't seem to affect my view of you either way. i guess most i can say is that it's generally better to try to work with yourself rather than against, but that's way easier said than done
i feel like we might have more similarities than either of us realise. probably spotty, probably surface-level, though a part of me doesn't want it to be
idk, maybe he likes Synthwave ??
wow people really forgot this thread.
on topic: seems to be quite younger than me, just having this hunch
on topic: seems to be quite younger than me, just having this hunch
i have goldfish memory nvm
Dr. Dze
Cool OT regular; should play the game some more to work on those goals listed on their profile.
unfortunately for you when it comes to this game it feels like people are quite hesitant to say what they truly think about you, i think that's a shame. it may be a case of wanting to be nice, maybe a bit of intimidation, or maybe just dont like you at all, and that wraps back to the first idea of being nice.
good attempts at being the best you can be tho, wish you the best
good attempts at being the best you can be tho, wish you the best
hachiroku fan club
idk who is dis
not poland
idk, rushia
dia orang bangladesh