i'll try to systematize it, with the hope that i could clarify the ways in which i favor/disfavor the people i've included, but... i fear i somehow would be making it Even More Unclear
i will try to define the following terms...⠀+ "sympathy" = a given extent of my openness and comfort with someone whether from comraderie or alignment with them ethically/morally/ideologically or from simply appreciating them as a fellow person
+ "ambivalence" = a given extent of my apprehension and confliction with someone as a result of counteracting impressions of variable-but-unlikely alignment or comraderie with them
+ "overall communal contribution" = a descriptor of respect i have for each person on the basis of how authoritatively interesting/reasonable/charismatic they personally appear to be to myself and off-topic culture in my opinion
+ "overall communal nuisance" = a descriptor of exhaustion i have for each person on the basis of how unmistakably draining/unreasonable/unpleasant they personally appear to be to myself and off-topic culture in my opinion
(,,,i'm tired, i've been sitting on this since the thread started...)
("mutual and "general" and "tentative" hopefully are easy enough to infer the meanings of, it just defines how confident i am in my opinion and how much i feel that way about them)
i will also describe the following conditions for inclusion...+ ...i gave up half-way, so this really was somewhat-arbitrarily decided;; but you can assume i'm mostly just considering whoever was relevant or present here within the past year inside the confines of my hazy memory
+ i offer a hollow apology if it counts for anything ;-;
+ a disclaimer, but these are not actually definitively representative of my opinion on each person, i mostly make guesses because i forget what i feel about people and why, even despite vaguely understanding that i deeply(?) want(?) to connect with some and not with others (i am hesitant/cautious around some for trivial-ish reasons related to self-preservation)
+ honestly, is this table even useful...? i don't think i understand whether i view anyone negatively, maybe i'm convincing myself i don't? or i'm trying to please people somehow? unsure, i'm more interested in what others think at this point anyway
+ if you aren't included... assume you're somewhere in the middle, either neutrally or very slightly positively in a way that i wouldn't know how to define without extending the list to the extent that "favorite" no longer has as much value...
+ either that, or i didn't know or remember what my opinion of you was, or if i did, i wasn't sure i cared to share it
most favorite (overall contribution): patatitta, sametdze
most favorite (mutual sympathy): acroba, xch00f, sametdze
most favorite (general sympathy): mistressremilia, mizu_chuu, synthwavesquid, ashton(?)
most favorite (tentative sympathy): patatitta, reyalp, karmine
least favorite (tentative ambivalence): ymir, winnyace, polyspora
least favorite (general ambivalence): n/a
least favorite (mutual ambivalence): n/a
least favorite (overall nuisance): [exiled/banned]
, [exiled/banned]