wow, my question was so good it got recycled like 5 times.

My sleep schedule has been so messed up lately. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have to wake up at 5:30 am for school and on the weekends I have to wake up by 7am-8am for work. Recently I have been getting only a few hours of sleep or no sleep at all each night. Just a few weeks ago I was awake for 40ish hours straight at one point. It's not like I have trouble sleeping either, I just don't want to I guess? I don't want to face the troubles of tomorrow so I'd rather stay awake and spend time doing random shit on the PC. I've been having terrible dreams lately too, pretty nightmarish to be honest. I think the combination of not wanting to face tomorrow and being scared of sleep due to my dreams is making me want to deprive myself of sleep. I don't know.

What's your favorite clothing brand?

For my experience, Arizona Clothing Co. has done okay for me. So has Goodfellow & Co. I'm having trouble deciding between the two.

I don't shop for clothes often so there isn't much I can say, really.

On a side note, I'd love to have your nightmares. If you dont want them and are able to transfer them over to me, I'd love some. It'll give me something to reflect on or perhaps I may finally find something I'm scared of. I've yet to have a notable nightmare. The last one I've had, I wouldn't even consider a nightmare, but I suppose the situation would be nightmarish, I guess?

My last "nightmare" was about being caught in the middle of a mass-shooting at a gallery of sorts. I think I got out alive, so that was cool.

- - -

What are your nightmares often about?

well, I made a thread in GD a few weeks ago describing them (https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/t/853762) but recently I haven't had nightmares in the sense that they are scary/horror/monster dreams. Mine are more-so mentally disturbing and traumatizing(?) I've been having dreams about people from my past that have passed away, about people close to me dying. In these dreams I experience raw emotions like anxiety, fear, sadness, etc etc, even though the events occurring in my dreams aren't in anyway anxiety or fear-inducing.

same q

Damn, haven't had a nightmare or dream in a very long time. Although from what I can remember, most of the time it was really hard to move or I couldn't move at all. Everything around me wasn't only moving faster, but were just faster in general. I always tended to be losing someone important to me or being seen as an outcast. And I'm assuming there was lots of running involved.

I used to have those lucid dreams where I couldn't move my body but I could move my eyes. I'll never forget those. I always saw dark shadowy figures on the corners of my eyes, and they weren't moving but I knew they were staring at me. Some of them actually did move towards me very slowly now that I think about it. There was one time where it right next to my bed, hovering over me. I think he resembled a clown or somethin. And all I could do was look. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream, I couldn't show any emotion. And once I'd be able to finally move, everything would suddenly disappear and I'd be breathing super fucking hard. Spooky stuff. I didn't realize those types of stories weren't all that uncommon till like high school or so.

- - - - -

What connection(s) do you have to your avatar? Or in other words, why did you choose it?

(What a timing to get into the games.)

Well... I drew this self of mine like... In 2k17, I think.


Ever heard a story about a "foolish unlucky man"?

i don't think so, maybe

when have you last had a heart breaking moment

I'm not sure if I can classify it as heartbreaking. It didn't necessarily feel as if it broke my heart, but it did at least kill me a little inside.

...

...the time my mother and her boyfriend left and moved out, sometime during late April of 2018. My birthday was earlier that month.

they took almost everything with them.

we only had a little less than a hundred dollars or so. not much food left other than whatever was spoiling on the counters after they took the refrigerator. not to mention, they took the washer and dryer as well.

we had enough money to buy a mini-fridge by her mercy, giving about 50 dollars or so, if i recall correctly.

didn't get to drink or eat much, but whatever i could find would manage to be enough for the afternoon and late nights. i remember being exhausted, ready to hurl after helping my dad with all the boxes, after having packed them with him. we drove to the self-storage cell and managed to fit a fair amount. the piano was badly damaged after falling while it was being picked up. might not get to play it again. i loved that piano.

...among other things.

alright, that's enough for last year's shitty events. tune in next time for more depression with your local skeleboi.

- - -

When have you last had a life-changing moment?

i got broken up with unexpectedly a bit over a month ago. first time i felt like i was genuinely in love, but oh well. it's over now, what can i do? it didn't end on a sour note, we're still cool. just sucks.

what was the last thing someone said to you that made you smile?

I don't recall, but it'd technically be today. I've got a few great friends, even though they're not really invested in the friendship for what can be seen (a healthy and fair choice, i suppose), they do make me laugh and are great to be around while we're there at school.

- - -

What's the most uplifting event you've had in the last several months?

I don't know to be honest. The past few months have been really shitty. I guess I got a new job? That's kinda uplifting seeing as how it's miles ahead of being unemployed.

What is your opinion on e-cigarettes/vapes?

I don't hate them any less than traditional cigarettes.

What is your favorite genre of fiction?

For a video game, I like fantasy, steampunk, cyberpunk etc...

What are you easily impressed by?

It's hard to list and discern.

But some examples would be other fellow artists and musicians, typically of a higher skill than mine.

Sometimes it'd be impressive to consistently see a musician produce high-quality electronic music released weekly, in this case, their workflow and productivity is impressive.

Eh.

- - -

Smartphones, or PCs?

PC, definitely. Even though smartphones are more mobile/portable, you trade that in for versatility. I will never be able to edit an image or video as precisely or efficiently and upload it as quickly as I could with a PC.

What do you do when you really don't want to do something but you still gotta do it? Just suck it up and deal with it?

I'll probably would do it as quickly and efficiently as possible so that I can be over with it and spend my time and energy to other more interesting stuffs, like shit posting on OT.

What was the scariest moment of your life?

First -- Re-evaluate the reasoning as to why one would have to do said thing. If you deem it to be reasonably necessary, then...

Second -- Endure. Buckle your seatbelts, and hold on for dear life, or dear death.

...Or buckle the ends of the stapler over there if that's the job you so choose.

I dunno what it is you do.

And good luck!

Addendum: If unsure, repeat the first step until you've procrastinated long enough that you realize you should probably get to whatever it is that you've "gotta do". That's how it had gone on my end.

OT: Realizing that I got ninja'd after typing out a pretty damn long post before figuring out I could just edit this.

In reality, I don't really recall. There's a few moments that are particularly negative, but not necessarily scary.

Well, I suppose of those times, there was the time someone broke into my bedroom and stole our shit. A lot of valuables, too. I was almost traumatized after knowing my PS2 was taken. I think I had a spare, which may be why I still have a PS2 in my possession, still in storage.

- - -

Is there anything that cheers you up on a shitty month?

OT and FG cheer me up

Same Q

doing what i want to do, whether it be playing games or talking to my friends. but if everything's really bad it kinda just comes down to luck. wake up one more and i don't feel shitty, hooray!

same q

Probably playing video games, hanging out with friends or reading some books. Also OT.

Same question.

Listening to music definitely helps, and animations or animatics can be pretty cool to watch and pass time with.

Discord sometimes helps, but really, I've enjoyed being around FG and OT the most.

I'll also occasionally draw to pass the time and relax. Playing the piano during my math class in 3rd period helps a bit, given that the song doesn't depress me further.

If all else fails, I just try to talk to whatever friends I can, or try to distract myself for a while on Youtube.

- - -

How do you perceive the entirety of humanity, and our state of being?

Well, that's quite a philosophical question.
To be frank, I hate most humans. Most people around me are idiotic, greedy, incompetent fools whom would never work on the betterment of themselves.
I find it very hard to trust them to anything. Heck, I don't even trust myself most of the time.

That being said though, I trust in humans ability to achieve things through pure determination. There are people who worked really hard all their lives just to get mediocre results. But there are genuinely talented and hard working people who've done incredible things.

As for our state of being, I'd say we're doing pretty good so far. Life have certainly been better than 100 years ago. Because the world have already experienced 2 world wars already and people realized that wars are bad, we are genuinely trying to keep world peace.

---

Same question

It's difficult for me to really come up with a solid explanation as to how I view the world, how I view everyone.

Quite frankly, I don't understand humans. I don't actually understand how and why we've reacted in the ways we have, and for the reasons we've apparently seen to be justifiable.

I have a pretty neutral stance on others by default, and I make an attempt to avoid being bitter towards everyone. It's not very productive, anyways, as us humans rely on trust and cooperation, not aversion. Aversion only seems to complicate things further. We'd isolate ourselves further.

But given the circumstances, it's understandable to be bitter. We may be undermined by someone, manipulated, misguided, and even abused.

Yet there's others that show some degree of concern for us, and those who are willing to help us in each of our goals.

The personalities of others highly vary. Many would consider humanity as a whole to be a selfish bunch, though one's personal definition and idea of selfishness varies, as it can imply greed, or narcissism, or perhaps, just someone who's concerned with living their lives so they get things over with without being attached to others, which in their eyes, may hinder them in their work.

In any case, we may very well be selfish beings, but we're also collaborative beings by default, unless we've isolated ourselves or have been dejected by the majority of others. In this case, your point stands, where many can achieve things and endure a shitty life through determination, given that they were ever motivated in the first place.

This is where depression and being unmotivated comes in.

I'd imagine a great deal of us humans have sat around, weeping and cursing at every instance of misfortune, and perhaps, they stay there, not out of the need for pity or some shit, but perhaps because they feel they have no reason to, they feel inert, and generally lost.

I dunno. In this sense, I'd say I'm sympathetic to a degree, but I've only been able to judge from a perspective of a rather lackluster understanding of how everything works. Thus, I can only try and gain from what seems reasonable and applicable.

This would only be a portion of my thoughts on humanity.

Our state of being, is questionable.

No one really seems to know with certainty as to the cause of why we're here. Some turn to a god or deity of sorts, others in the concept of some essence of sorts. The rest of us just kinda blindly look on, searching.

In regards to our existence, I'm leaning towards nihilism, but I still do things regardless.

Put simply, Life may ultimately be pointless, but if that's so, death is equally as pointless.

- - -

Same question.

This isn't an answer to the question since I've already answered mine, so the question is still there for whoever is next.

But still, I'd like to state my opinion.
I can understand the points you've brought out and I mostly agree.
Humans are selfish creatures and that's a good thing, for we need to be selfish to be able to survive.

And for the existence of humanity, I think it's quite an interesting topic.
Most religions say that God have created humans in his image, but I find the opposite to be more convincing.
Humans are the ones who have created gods in their best images. If that is the case then humans are even more powerful than gods, since gods are bound by the rules, the settings that humans made them to follow, but humans can be whatever they want.
For example, if a god is inherently good then that God is impossible to be evil. But a human can chose to be good or evil, or even what good and evil is.
I think humans are even more god like than actual gods.

Friedrich Nietzsche is famous for his statement "God is dead" that's been misunderstood by many people. Why didn't he say that God isn't real or doesn't exist? Why say God is dead?
In ancient times, god was the answer to everything. But ever since the development of science and civilization, God have been rendered obsolete.
That's Nietzsche's way of saying that more and more people are losing faith in God.
Also, Nietzsche's idea of God can also be symbolic for ideals.
Most people are lost in life, yes. But there are some who would blindly follow an ideal to the end. That in itself isn't a bad thing, but there are dangerous ideals that can kill millions of people if it has enough followers, as have been proven through out history.
But let's just say this god is a real person. And like every one, god - since he's a real person, dies.
If that happens, would people will just stop believing in god?
No.
In fact, their beliefs would be even more strengthened.
So in a sense, it's ironic to be praying to a dead god.

And in my opinion, life isn't meaningless, nor does it holds any significant meaning.
Life is what you make it is.
It can be cruel, but it's up to you to make it easier.

So in my opinion, life's meaning is also decided by humans. If you say that it's meaningless, so be it. If you say that it hold deep meaning, then it does.
After all, only humans give things a meaning.
Even gods are meaningless without followers.

I suppose i'll give my thought as well

humans are unique, unlike animals we rely on thoughts, feelings and emotions rather than just instinct. we were made in such as a way it makes me reality. i sometimes wonder. "why do we exist" "what purpose do we serve" "is there a reason for things to be the way they are now because of human evolution". Humans can be deadly as well friendly it's hard to consider some people as your friend as you never know if they might stab you in the back almost quite literally which is one reason why i don't like staying around people sometimes much less socializing with them. Human evolution has reached to a point now where anything is possible and you can expect anything. I sometimes wish i could spend a day by myself doing whatever the hell i want without people watching me from every corner constantly criticizing my every action whether good or bad, right or wrong. everything you do at least someone in this world is going to get offended by it. our philosophy is so generic that there is really no point in asking myself these questions.

All i'm going to say is that the main and only purpose of life is to live it and "make the most out of it" as some people say.

same question maybe

"The entirety of humanity" feels large, to me.
I mean, according to my way/logic, I can't put up an opinion based solely on people I've met so far.
If that matters, I would say that this "humanity" I've met is heavily disappointing.
I won't hide that part of it is nice, but the impact of the "disappointing" side left on me is just *OOF*.
I won't hope for the good to prevail ("above 80%") even for a second, but I would hope that there's a worldwide, minimum 50/50 ratio of good/evil.

"State of being"...? Like, "Where you/I think we are going"?
Straight down the path of decadence.


What's one of your "extreme luck" moment, if you ever had one?
If not, have you ever experienced "near-death" or a deadly wound in your sleeping dreams?

45Traeath wrote:

"The entirety of humanity" feels large, to me.
I mean, according to my way/logic, I can't put up an opinion based solely on people I've met so far.
If that matters, I would say that this "humanity" I've met is heavily disappointing.

Fair answer. Though, making an opinion on the entirety of humanity is supposed to be "large". We're judging several billions of people based on our worldview, despite how variable and diverse humans can be, in culture, personality, standing, and such. But yeah, fair answer.

45Traeath wrote:

"State of being"...? Like, "Where you/I think we are going"?
Straight down the path of decadence.

Not necessarily what I meant by the question. In my usage of humanity's state of being, I'm referring to "the fact or state of existing; being", and "the fact or state of continued being; life: our brief existence on Earth". In the scope of the past and future-- well, we're pretty damn temporary, so any sort of great future seems unlikely with things considered as to how things are now. That, and that us humans cannot exactly say with certainty how we got here. We can only make claims.

- - -

OT: "Extreme luck" moment? That's a strange phrase, but ehm... I'm not sure, really. I may have, by some chance in the chaotic timeline that is life, but I don't have a particular experience I can point to.

Near death or wounding in my dreams? I'm not sure about near-death, but there certainly has been wounding and actual death within my dreams.

- - -

How would you compare an animated film to a graphic novel?

Hm

I'd say animated film is an animated version of graphic novels

Um can you not ask the person below you anything

I can chose to, yes. But the whole point of this game is asking people questions so I see no point in me not asking anything.

What was the most "epic" moment of your life?

...egh.

I don't think I could ever consider any moment of my life as "epic".

Life hasn't really been "epic". It's more along the lines of "chaotic", "disheartening", among pretty much any other negative trait i could describe it with, because i've just woken up and can't quite think as clearly or critically.

Well, I'll consider my entire past 3 or 4 years as "epic" for the hell of it. I mean, that's when shit got fucked over, and where life was suddenly a miserable thing for me. Not much of a reason not to use that for my answer.

- - -

What sort of person would you consider to be an ideal romantic partner in life?

ANIME GIRLS ARE JUSTICE

Which anime character you like the best

I barely watched anime, but I know for sure that Pikachu would be the one I like the most. Unless Pikmin has an anime, then you know who i am possibly picking instead.

Have you ever gotten a dream that doesn't make any sense? A bizarre dream to be exact.

...

i'm sure i have.

i dont care to remember right now.




do you like jokes?

what are your thoughts on the person who told you they'd share the joke but didn't tell you the joke?

(im gonna read achro's and tad's wall of text once i get the chance later)

I like humor, but I don't really like "jokes" in the sense of a static setup and punchline. Messing around with friends and joking around is great, but premade punchline jokes that comedians make aren't really my thing. I don't really understand the second portion of your question.

Do you believe that one's mind is shaped more through innate variables at birth or through experience and interactions with the world around them?
(nature vs nurture)

i'm not in the mood to properly answer the question. it's a good question. you'd know why i asked the second part had you taken a look around, i guess.

it's a bit of both, i'd guess, but

more along the lines of change through experience.

sq.

The way I see it, living conditions do affect human's personality. But i feel like our personalities have already been decided the day of our birth.
For example, twins even though they are born into the same family, the same date and time, their experiences in life are still different to an extent but they are quite similar in living conditions, yet their personalities can be vastly different.
They can be born in the same environment and have similar experiences but they like and hate different things, and develop different personalities.

What are your opinions on wars, especially the 2 world wars.

Wars as a whole...
Given that we were scattered around this huge field (planet) from the beginning, it feels like they were bound to happen due to us having different visions/opinions, which was due to the surroundings not being the same around all of us.
In a nutshell: I would forgive them for happening, but come on now.
(I wonder what kind of BS I would have written, if I didn't understand the logic of "differences and choices can lead to conflicts".)
WW1...
I forgot the context XD
WW2...
According to my memories from school, it began after a long setup by that racist and antisem' who was quite disgusted by the defeat during WW1 and the fact that his country just went with it.
I forgot the things I had researched about him, during the year I passed in uni', but eh.
So, my thoughts...
WW2 was the most pointless event that could have happened ever.
At least, lessons were learnt and countermeasures were taken afterwards, I guess.
Maybe this was the best way to make us aware of some stuff, which made us ("humanity") try to walk towards the right direction. That's what I'd like to believe.




After thinking about this answer, I kind of feel like I was born in the wrong time again, seeing how the bar is getting raised in Paris.
I'm not sure of the wording, so I'll just write another phrase: living there feels even more difficult than years ago.
Maybe because of whatever I've learnt so far.
How's that feeling, in your case?

In my case, I don't really think about being born in another time. I really make do with reality as it's presented, and strive to make the present as good as it can get. The 21st century brings a lot of advantages, and a lot of disadvantages though. Looking at myself, I probably wouldn't have minded being born earlier though, would give me more time to tackle big issues like climate.
I do feel like a 70-year old man sometimes, and have, much to my astonishment, caught myself saying things like "Youths nowadays..." begrudgingly, although I myself belong to that group.
But yeah, I'm fine where I am, led me to become who I am now.

Should we start using humans as resources?
Intricate matter, but some friends and me thought of why we don't make human leather from skin, or string from hair, or feed from the meat. What's your take on it ethically, societally,usage-wise and naturally?

Well, in a sense humans are resources. But just not in the way that you've said.
Ethically, it is obviously wrong but to be honest, I don't think that human parts are of good enough quality to be made into other produces.
Like, instead of using human skin to make leather, why not just use pig's skin or cow's skin? They mature much quicker than humans, easier to farm and their skin is of higher quality and quantity.
And by using humans as actual resources, you'd miss out on another invaluable resource - work resources.
Humans can be considered as a resource in the work force, in military and/or other.
So killing of humans just for their skins or bones is a waste in my opinion.

---

Same question

Ahhh, my lack of a solidly grounded opinion in most things regarding ethics, and my unfamiliarity with society and nature.

A good time to show my weird trains of thought before I sleep.

Cannibalism? If you've not the resources, like Russia's famine thing at some vague point in time and place since I don't remember dates or sources, then there isn't a whole lot you can do. In these cases, I suppose it would be a matter of governmental responsibility if taking care of their citizens is what they'd handle, of course. Eating the meat of a fellow human would be admittedly pretty fucking strange. Essentially, eating a sentient and intelligent being, seems like it'd be pretty fucking strange. Society, in its umbrella-term usage, generally sees this as rather immoral and inhumane.

Utility? I find it difficult that human bodies would be of a whole lot of use. I've yet to develop much else to say with this.

Naturally? What would that mean?

...Hmm. My thoughts aren't very well fleshed out as of right now.

- - -

What's your stance on the voting process or other stuff in OT for the presidential election?

I'm hosting the election and to be honest, it could've ran much smoother.
I kinda hate the fact that I had to reset the 3rd phase to make it work better.
Well, the voting method is quite okay now but I messed up too many times to make it so.

But I still haven't managed to get as many voters as before.
The voting phase will last for 3 days though so hopefully there should be more people that decides to vote.

---

Who would you consider to be your ideal life partner? / Describe your ideal life partner.

I can't even say "Who" because of my standards. I don't think I could ever find an "other half" like this.

Laid back. Not too much into fashion.
(Well, a change of clothes is nice, but I wouldn't want to buy at short intervals.)
Above all, keen sense of hygiene.
I didn't think of anything else in the 6mins I've used for this.
(I might throw away my family name for hers, if she has at least what I've just said, and a name I could accept.)


Just for the looks, what's your favorite melee weapon?

Dual swords. Flashy, more crit rate, multiple stances available to give a competitive edge, and they make you look cool even when you're not using them.

What's your opinion on children's shows from 2016 - now?

I mean, you do have some good shows inbetween, and I love that smaller, independent artists have an easier time (purely subjective) breaking through and showing their work. I will say that I'm not as excited about cartoons now as I used to be, maybe because I grew up with some shows whose newer adaptations I didn't like (Titans GO, PPG, Ben 10 as a couple examples), but at the same time, I'm not too upset. Cartoons nowadays aren't made for me, they're made for this generation of kids, and if it works for them, I think they fulfill their purpose.

What concerns you the most regarding your future?

Whether or not I can make money.
I need money to have a comfortable life.
I'll need money to get my own place and car.
I'll need money to travel the world, to see places.

----

Same question

...

If I'm able to adapt.

If I'm able to endure.

If I'm able to do what I love.

If I'm able to express myself better.

If I see a reason why anything matters.

If I'm able to understand people well enough to have someone understand me, or at least...

If I'm able to ever understand myself.

I don't know.

- - -

Have you ever been told you were "so capable", "so smart", with "so much potential"... yet... you feel as if you can't do or change a damn thing, despite your attempts?

constantly

storytime i dropped out of school semi-recently because of just really poor grades among other issues that i currently have to deal with in my life. before i could leave though, i had quite a lot of people including my friends tell me about my potential, or that i was capable of turning things around. and i know that they're not entirely wrong, i just have zero work ethic, both for school and in life. and i mean even for things that i WANT to do. example: if i wanna sit on osu! and grind a map for a pass, i'll probably sit in osu for maybe an hour adding attempts, practicing other maps, etc. then just get bored and do something else. maybe not the best example but u can get what i'm saying. i know i HAVE potential to do a lot of things, but i don't ever use it and it's been my biggest downfall for probably my whole life. oh well.

same q

Yes.

It's been a few years.

I wanted to change things from what I saw coming.

I met people. I tried talking to more people. I opened up.

But my grades dropped, and my family had been falling apart.

I saw it coming. I saw it coming.

I met someone I had a crush on. We shared interests. We shared passions and talents. Music. Art. Fandoms.

That person had a personality that somehow just... attracted me. Magnetizing. Optimism to counter my pessimism.

Before long, I realized it wasn't as much of a crush as I thought, and that it had been more along the lines of admiration.

I questioned the nature of love.

And then I questioned myself.

And I thought of some things.

And I learned some things.

And I forgot some things.

And I lost some things.

I would be talked to about my grades. People saw me as a smart boy. Intelligent, a deep thinker. What sort of shit is that?

I have potential? If only I could bring out that potential.

I was capable? Then why didn't I do anything?

...why didn't I?

I didn't try enough? How?

I got tired of trying. I got tired of trying not to be tired. I was tired of how tired I was. I was tired. I was fatigued.

Apathy.

I endured.

I didn't care anymore.

No reason to, but no reason not to.

Or something along those lines.

Death, as pointless as life.

...

I'm not even answering the question, am I?

...but I'm still going with "yes".

- - -

Are you tired? Why, or why not?

Every time.
People would call me "capable", "smart", "knowledgeable" etc but I never saw myself as such.
I always feels like as if I'm the type of person who likes to do everything alone but I can't do anything by myself.
It feels like as if they'd only tell me that so that they don't have to try on anything.
Like if I explain something to them but they can't understand it, they'll just say "oh but it's because you're smart".
If I try to show them how to do something, they'll just say "I can't do that, you're much better than I am".
I'm sick of hearing compliments like that.

I can do something because I'm "smart" or "better" than normal people? Bullshit.
Anyone can do what I do. They just need to put a little effort into it.
Compliments like that makes me feel as if they're implying that I never put any effort into doing anything in my life and I only depended on my talents instead.
Truth is I'm a talentless and mediocre person. What I can do, I had to work for it again and again.
I'm not a genius or a remarkable person. I can't achieve anything remotely remarkable. I had to try so hard to do things that normal people do so easily.

----

Same question.

Ah shit I even got ninja'd on this thread.

Yeah, I guess I'm pretty tired lately.
There are tons of things that I had to do, and so little time to do all of them.

----

Same question.

i've been hella tired recently, regardless of the amount of sleep i get or what i do all day. idk what to do.

how do you get out of a peak boredom state? like, when you're REALLY bored, what's your last resort?

When I am really bored and have nothing to do (which is pretty rare lately).
I have would imagine stuffs. Like go on an adventure in my head.
I'd imagine what it's like to fly, to go anywhere I like, to visit countries.
Or I could imagine a story for a novel that I've always wanted but would never write.

----

What is the thing that you like and hate most about yourself?

Simultaneously, uh I'd have to go with my naivety, I guess

Makes it easier to make friends and I really like trusting and supporting people, but it also hits me in the face whenever the world isn't as nice as I want it to be or when my kindness prevents me from moving forward in life. I don't want the road to success to be paved by the people I've stepped on to get there

Who's a role model in ypur life, why, and how have they affected you or changed you?

I’d say that I have no role models other than myself. I don’t want to strive to be someone else, I want to be me. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. 2016 version of me is the person who is my role model. I was so happy, motivated, driven, compassionate, etc, but I seem to have lost many of those things.

Same Q

I don't really have a role model. I just try to become the best version of myself. (Sorry if this sounds a bit similar to Penguin's answer).

----

If there are two things that is exactly the same with no differences, but one is real and one is fake.
And of course you know exactly which one is real and which one is fake.
Then which one do you think has a higher value? (Can be monetary value and/or spiritual value)

The real one of course has more value. You see it a lot in watches and clothing. There's a lot of fakes that are near identical to the human eye. If you were to buy the fake one, then you wouldn't be supporting the company and people that put so much time and effort into creating it though, so I always go genuine even if the fake is cheaper.

Have you had any teachers that have had a lasting impact on your life? If so, why?

Certainly, in some way or another. I often wind up talking with my teachers for whatever reason, and we can sometimes get into some interesting conversations.

Things like that happened a lot back in middle school and my freshman year.

It's thanks to them for engaging in conversations that I've had the means to analyze and apply my train of thought with.

Not gonna go into too much detail since I'm at school, but yeah, my teachers have certainly played a part in my life as I developed my thought process.

- - -

Your opinion on college? In which cases is it worth it, and in which would it not be worth it?

I'm in uni atm and in my opinion, it's really up to the person whether it's worth it or not.
To me, it's not that bad.

But is it worth it? Well, I can't say for now, maybe I can answer that question after I've graduated.
Right now I don't really know how I should feel about uni.
I do feel like 4 years in uni is too long and I do feel like I'm missing out a lot.
I'm in 2nd year now but I feel like I haven't learned much at all.
But it did gave me some interesting experience that I won't be able to experience anywhere else that I think would serve me well after I graduated.

So I guess I feel like I didn't learned much, but I did matured a lot ever since I got into uni.
Or maybe that maturity would come gradually anyways regardless of me going to uni or not, but I don't know.
And also if I go to uni, I'll have a better chance at having a good job so that's good I guess.
But I'll have to wait until I graduate to know for sure though. My older brother went to uni too and he got a job that had nothing to do with his major.

- - - -

What is the cringiest thing that you've done in the past?

Singing. Well, not the act in itself, but rather what song went out of my mouth.
My audience being classmates of that time I've done it.
I could forgive myself a bit, because it was as a game, the "jukebox".
But that's one of the directions/paths/actions I regret having gone through.


How's the night ("cold", "noisy because of the wind", ...)?

...?

That;s a pretty unusual question, but ehm...

It's a quiet night tonight. Silent, even. I'm just here, on my laptop, in an otherwise pitch-black bedroom, with very little to do.

- - -

What are your favorite songs?

I have a lot of favorite songs, but I guess most of them came from video games.
Some of them are:

Rivers in the desert
Memories of dust
Snow drive
Teo
Bad apple
Take me home, country road
Idola circus
The lost one's weeping
The importance of being idle
Francium - Nanahira
Everyday is night
Power - Kanye West
Stand by me
Wanderer

And so on but that's all I can remember right now.

- - - -

Same question

Secede - Born in a Tropical Swamp (most likely my all-time favourite song)
Sweet Trip - To All the Dancers of the World, a Round Form of Fantasy
múm - The Land Between Solar Systems
Belong - October Language
Paavoharju - Pimeänkarkelo
Paavoharju - Italialaisella Laivalla
Candy Claws - White Seal (Shell and Spine)
William Basinski - dlp 1.1
Massive Attack - Small Time Shot Away
Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy
The Future Sound of London - Viewed From an Obscure Angle
Angèle - Ta Reine
Healer - The Answer
Carbon Based Lifeforms - Euphotic
Braids - Glass Deers
Igorrr - Infinite Loop
Birdy - 1901
Choongum - A Church of Beauty and Despair

same q

Argh, I really wanna answer this question but I'm going have a hell of a hard time sifting through the music I listen to...

I'll edit this to include 30 of my favorites (in no particular order) so I dont flood the damn post and so I dont die trying to find my favorites.

Thank you for understanding, I will edit this soon.

- - -

SQ.

TL;DR, catchy Touhou songs, mostly from Akatsuki Records, some from Yellow Zebra, めらみぽっぷ, and あよ, but too ranged to be definitive.

Would you prefer coffee or ice cream on a fictional date?

I don't really get the "fictional date" part. But normally, I would prefer coffee over ice cream.

- - - -

Would you rather having to beat Dark souls with only a broken sword or pass a 7* map on Osu! With mouse only?

7* map with mouse only. I’m already a mouse player, so I pretty much just have to pick a map with few triples/streams and only jumps and I can pass it.

If you watch movies, do you tend to look for new movies or rewatch ones you’ve already seen.

Hmm, tendencies. Unless anime counts, I don't really watch movies. For anime, it's a bit of both for varying reasons, but I think I'd be willing to try different anime a bit more.

- - -

Do you constantly second-guess yourself and get caught up in your own flowing long trains of thought?

yes, all the time, i have anxiety about stupid things all the time, and think i've messed things up in the past, and then i just constantly think about what would be different, etc.
i also get caught in long trains of thought related to daydreams, or people i miss etc. basically i'm a mess lmao, anyway..

- - -

what is the most egotistical thing you said in the past that you find stupid and cringe now?

The closest I've ever come to 'egotistical' was when I asked a classmate in 4th grade,
"Why are you so stupid?" Other than that, I keep my actual thoughts hidden.

First, the phrasing is a little hard to figure out, as "right" and "motive" are not synonymous, and neither are "commit" and "attempt". In the latter two, it's more understandable to some extent? But anyways, not to go too into detail, I'm being led to cherrypick my ways of answering this question. I'll answer it in whatever way seems to make most sense.

"In your opinion, do you think the motive to commit suicide is debatable or not?" - The motive? Generally speaking, many people can and would debate anyone's motive, so yes, it's technically debatable,...

...but would I debate someone's motive to kill themselves? I can only say it depends on the motive, but within my own conclusions, i'd recommend against suicide.

In my case, I felt little reason to continue living, as I resided within an existentially nihilistic worldview. I avoided that by somehow coming across the thought that when regarding our existence, if life seemed pointless, death would be equally as pointless. Everyone's case varies though and may depend on misfortune in their life, or on having the knowledge of the misfortune of others, or on any other sort of perspective or basis.

Hopefully it sufficiently answered the question.

- - -

What's your MBTI or "Myers-Briggs" personality type?

I think there's already a thread about this if I'm not mistaken.

Well, anyways I got INTJ-A.

Here's the text if you're interested.


- - - -

Same question since I can't think of anything else to ask.

INTP-A, on my end. Interesting.

huh, I guess I would've expected that of ya.

so far, I'm finding INTJs to be relatively easy to spot. I really only say that with the background knowledge of knowing my dad who I've typed as an INTJ, as I've shown him the MBTI website, test, and 16 personalities recently.

- - -

Achromalia wrote:

What's your MBTI or "Myers-Briggs" personality type?

Took this last month.


edit: https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

-----

same question.

What do you think about the immigrants in your country?

Taking a quick break from the music.

It's hard for me to generalize United States immigrants much. It's quite the mixed bag and with the influx of immigrants from various countries, comes a whole lot of weight on numerous aspects of things the US government would be preparing for. That's about it, I guess?

Primarily, I'm assuming as I've got little to no definite knowledge on political topics and hadn't focused on it much, with everything else I've got going on.

I just see them as... well, people.

They're fellow human beings.

- - -

In your perspective, how does one best develop an understanding of others' emotions?

I can't say that I have an answer for that. I can't even understand my own emotions most of the times.

I don't think the concept of human emotions can be understood fully by anyone.
The thing with other people is that I can get to know them, understand them to an extent. Even predict them in certain situations. But I can't understand how they feel at all. And sometimes, I hurt the people around me because of that.

I just don't understand why they'd feel how they felt.

- - - -

Same question.

In my perspective? Not being mentally disabled.

------------------------------------

Who are you gay for?

Probably Tom Hiddleston, what class

What period of your life do you appreciate the most?

The one during which I'm hanging out with friends.

Would you "frequently" play "Metal Slug 3" with me on Steam, if I offered the game to you?
(Not actually "frequently", just lesser than it, but whatever.)

Honestly, I'd find it unlikely that I'd have time to play anything nowadays. I've been pretty focused on music and art and plan to stick with them for a good while until I can learn to prioritize and organize how I do things, as well as figure out a solid plan for making and income. Stuff like that.

- - -

Any particular things you dislike about your life circumstances?

Achromalia wrote:

Any particular things you dislike about your life circumstances?

as whiny as i can be, i really don’t want to complain or went on here. it ain’t perfect but it could be much much worse. so i try to be satisfied with what i’ve got.

--------------------------

what’s your favorite color?

Black, red, blue and white from best to worst in that order.
Those are my favorite colors.

----

What do you think about kids?

in what sense?

well, it's hard to generalize my thought for every child as each child has varying personalities, and whatnot...

but kids are pretty charming. it's because they have varying personalities that make them intriguing. i feel compelled to observe the way they look at the world and the way they interact with the world. it may be representative of a few things, and i'm fascinated by the learning process that they go through just to figure things out.

if i were to have kids? that'd be fairly difficult to handle, but i'd be pretty happy to have my own children. i'd like to have the experience of watching them grow and mature, to become what they feel works best for them, and to see them follow their passions. I'll guide them if they want to go somewhere. I'll broaden their perspective a bit with their decisions, and explain everything I can. I'd like to teach them some things, and I feel like nurturing their critical thinking would be really nice. On the other hand... they're probably going to be giving a good pile of work and stress management to do. I wonder how that'd go.

- - -

How would you approach if you were to have children?

Tbh, I'd be scared, I'm not ready to have kids yet.

I don't even have my life sorted out yet, I can't even imagine how I'd take care of another. Heck, I can't even take care of myself properly.

Although, I'd like to have kids one day. Even though it's quite contradictory since I've always hated kids.
Kids are annoying, loud, dirty and helpless in my eyes. But there is something about them makes me cannot fully hate them.
Maybe it's in our genetics, maybe we were designed to not hate kids despite how annoying they are.

----

What is the one goal of r achievement that you really want to get in life?

Being a self-sustaining and proficient animator and musician.

No particular award or anything, but I'd like to be able to express everything in every way I know how. If only I can improve myself with my work, and get my hands on something to make things easier. If I were to earn enough with both music and art to not need any sort of other job, I'd be really damn happy. I could live as I need to without much worry.

- - -

What's your view on Thread Necromancy?

It's a fun thing to focus on throughout the day, whether you're checking up on it on your phone out and about in the real world or camping it while at home chilling. I gave up as a competitor because you guys are just too damn competitive with it and I honestly just sometimes forget to post and get really far behind. It's a fun game though.

----------

Do you think you have a nice sense of fashion?

I guess not.
I tend to wear really normal clothes that you can find anywhere. I guess I don't really care much about fashion.
Most of my clothes are in dark color and I don't tend to spend too much on clothes either.

If there's a formal occasion then I might wear a suit and/or a trench coat and might use some of my brother's hair pomade but that's it.

--------

Same question since I can't think of anything to ask.

i do!! (i think) but i never wear, nor own anything cute or fancy lol, all my clothes are plain and boring sigh

------
same q

I dont consider myself to be fashionable. I wear the same clothes. As long as it works and keeps me comfortable or warm, I'm fine with it. I wear whatever I need to. I spend very little on clothing.

- - -

SQ.

"Nice"? From the global opinion I've heard, when asked (by my family) in a store "let's spend some, what do you want to wear?"...
No.
I'm really plain and minimal, am aware of it (as much by myself as by their opinion), and am not trying the slightest to get "flashy".


Are "combat" sports really a good therapy to help myself vent out?

im personally against any kind of violence so i'd say no.
---
what does life mean to you

Depends on the context.

But most often it's in an existential context.

"Whatever I want it to be", in other words, nothing much. I don't have much reason for my life aside from my passion in music and art, and just the love of creating things. Had I not concluded that dying would be as pointless as I'd perceive life to be, I'd possibly have already killed myself by now.

- - -

What do you think of death?

Death is the person who approved my petition to save the shitpost thread so I think he's a cool guy.

Just kidding, to me death is just the ending of a cycle. There isn't anything inherently bad about it, nor is it a good thing.

I don't believe in that reincarnation bullshit though. Death to me is just the body and mind shutting down.
I don't believe in human souls, nor do I believe in heaven or hell.
To me, the concept of a life after death is ludicrous and is just there for the people who are afraid of death to believe in.

If life is beautiful then death can also be beautiful.

If life can be full of meaning then death is too.

--------------------

Same question.

Pretty much the same thing.

I've had little inclination to believe in reincarnation or an afterlife.

I merely think of death as an end to life, the state of nothingness you're to experience as your body decays or is damaged beyond repair for whatever reason.

I think and care little for death. I can appreciate it to some extent, but the concept of oblivion, though pretty beautiful in some sense, is not much more than the embodiment of... well, nothingness. pointlessness.

- - -

same question.

I welcome death with open arms. I don't believe in an afterlife or none of that, so I truly have no idea what I think death would be like. It's literally incomprehensible for the human to imagine a sense of complete and absolute nothingness. This question is making me have an existential crisis.

---

What's the point?

Of living? Cherishing it, obviously. I'd prefer not to think about my death as I'm still young.

When was the last time you were able to relate to what I wrote on my userpage?

I never bothered to look until now, but I agree with your twitter link lol

Future aspirations?

As usual, it's been to improve as an artist and musician.

I want to remedy the shit that's happened in my family's life, if I can.

I'd also like to be the person that friends would find reliable for a thought-provoking discussion.

I hope to tell my story, and help people understand others better, or perhaps provide new perspectives as to what things are, or how things are.

There's probably a good number of things, but these are a good few themselves, and should give you an idea of what I hope to do with my life.

- - -

same question.

nothing really I feel like I already have everything i have dreamed for

same question

Do well in school so that I can get a good job and do well for my family

When was the last time you drew something on paper? (Writing isn't drawing unless you're drawing some abstract thing or whatever with words)

It was a few weeks ago I believe. I was bored in class so I dew Raphtalia.

I used to draw a lot back in high school though.

-----------

Same question.