Kagamine Ren wrote:

M4M
[General]
none

[Easy]

• 
  00:35:045 (3) - ends 00:35:045 (3) - better ? ending fine., you linked same ending.
  01:06:981 (1,2) - improve the blanket
  01:12:981 (1,2) - blanket
  01:24:206 (3,4) - make them parallel better?
  01:24:206 (4,1) - hmm,i think blanket is better
  some blankets fixed, others because of certain design I want

[Normal]

• 
  00:40:852 (1,2) - improve the blanket
  00:53:626 (3) - add finish? like u did at 00:52:852 (2) - loud to me.
  01:14:916 (3,4) - improve the blanket not mean't to blanket e.e

[Hard]

• 
  01:09:690 (3,4,5) - the spacing is different
  00:08:142 (1) - ctrl+G then try this flow?
  
  00:34:852 (2,3) - try this?maybe it has more fun,and care the blanket with 00:34:271 (5)
  
  00:38:529 (5) - finish
  00:47:626 (3,4) - try this
  
  00:52:852 (3,1,2) - improve the blanket

[Insane]

• 
  00:21:884 (1) - the slider's tail perfect stack with 00:22:658 (3) - it's head intentional to make it more visible.
  00:54:787 (1,2) - stack them well
  01:19:561 (1) - finish? there is finish.
  01:20:336 (2) - finish?
  00:23:045 (4,5,6,7,1) - try thss flow?if u do this,make00:23:626 (7) perfect stack with00:22:658 (3)
  
  01:03:884 (1) - [box=]
  try this because the spacing of01:03:690 (4,1) and01:05:239 (5,1) should be the same can't see image
  [/box]

That's all!
Good luck
hope it'll be useful for you

RandomEffect wrote:

hey~

[General]

1. tags suggetion:
   frontwing
2. mp3: end too soon. I suggest to add fadeout at outro

[Easy]

1. 00:00:594 (1,2) - why not make DS 1.0x? impossible without break symmetry, maybe CTRL+G , but that flow is strange to me.
2. 00:35:819 (4,1) - too near, not good looking. I suggest to curve 00:36:206 (1) -
3. 00:54:787 (2) - I prefer to curve righetside of slider i like mines
   
   SPOILER

   
4. 01:06:206- whistle
5. 01:06:981 (1,2) - how about blanketting?
   
   SPOILER

   
6. 01:11:432 (3,4) - check DS
7. 01:27:206 (1) - I feel too short for easy imo its fine.

[Normal]

1. 00:34:658 (4,5,6) - suggetion the vocals are not shown properly.
   
2. 00:40:852 (1,2) - blanket correctly
3. 00:44:916 (3,1) - you can make better flow. I suggest to move 00:45:497 (1) - rightward or rotate clockwise
4. 00:57:690 (1,2) - this overlapping is not good looking
5. 01:23:819- follow this strong sound. otherwise, I feel strange...
6. 01:25:174 (5) - i prefer 1/2 slider not reverse the violin has many beats..
   

[Insane]

1. 00:06:013 (1) - why not end at 00:06:303? music stops quickly.
2. 00:06:594 (3,1) - I prefer to combine into 1 slider won't fit well with vocals here.
3. 00:10:271 (2,4) - blanket?
4. 01:11:239 (5) - rotate anti-clocwise for good flow hmm current is fine imo..
5. 01:18:013 (1) - Ctrl+G unsure atm
6. 01:26:336 (4,1,2) - these spacing is so confusing. increase DS of 01:26:723 (1,2) -

[Mochi's Hard]
wow, see you again~

1. 00:03:690 (3) - move downward for good flow
2. 00:06:013 (1,2) - u~m, combine into 1 slider?
3. 00:12:787 (1) - curve leftward a little
4. 00:52:852 (3,1) - check blanketting
5. 00:59:239 (1,2) - ^
6. 01:10:077 (6,1) - swap DS
7. 01:24:594 (2,4) - move 01:25:368 (4) - downward. hard to play because slider start is almost covered.
8. 01:27:110- I highly recommend to add a note!

if you OK, M4M please
~Good Luck~

examination wrote:

M4M

[General]
00:00:594 - I guess a red up line is needed here to change the offset, as you see many of the following beats start at the red lines (I don't know if I express it right 0.0 it's the 2nd of the 4/4 beats), even the kiai time starts there. Also this will make the first red line lead the sting music and the second red line lead the drum, which makes sense.
I guess the audio is not cutted well since it ends suddenly (? just my idea.

[Easy]
01:12:594 (4) - guess it has been mentioned by modders above.

00:51:690 (1) - I didn't expected a spin here, I think a long slider will work well w spin works well here, maybe get more opinions.

[Normal]
00:40:852 (1,2) - blanket
00:42:400 (3,4,5) - I guess curves will make these three sliders look nice

SPOILER

I like straight slider here
01:02:529 (3) - Remove this and add notes on 01:02:336 & 01:02:723 to follow the rhythm patterns, or it will make players feel a bit strange.
01:14:916 (3) - ^ Nope, I'd prefer mine.

[Mochi's Hard]
00:15:110 (3,4) - I think just a slider is enough~
01:11:626 (1,2) - These 2 sliders should be placed apart or players will be think that 2 is follow 1/4 beats after 1 since it's just after 01:10:658 (1,2)
01:27:110 - A note is needed?

[Insane]
00:07:368 (1,2,3,4,1) - A regular star maybe?
00:28:465 (1,2,3,4,5,1) - A regular hexagon?
00:30:206 (2) - blanket
00:31:561 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - I don't think a stream is rightly placed here, since I can't find sounds at 00:31:658 00:31:852 00:32:045. You can place jumps here.
01:09:497 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - same ^ but you can keep this stream since 00:57:110 (1,2,3,4,5,6) is placed

00:57:110 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - This one is rightly placed cuz it follows the piano
keep all streams, fix some more patterns.


Good Luck~wwww

Xinely wrote:

as per request which become m4m (i guess) lol

• 
  Easy

1. 00:00:602 (1) - try add finish on head? i hear a cymbal sound here o.o
2. 00:02:150 - i know what you following to use drum clap here but imo cymbal sound feels so crash here so better to emphasize it instead by with change the hitsound become soft default finish , its enough recovery time, I don't know where you got that from.
3. 00:09:118 (1,2) - imo you still need remove these objects because we need full measure for recovery time here. start mapping in 00:09:698 - would be fine which has loud trumpet sound here
4. 00:12:601 (3,1) - nazi but im sure you can improve the blanket here
5. 00:20:731 (1) - maybe just my taste but i prefer soft finish for this time since the cymbal isnt really crash here
6. 00:22:279 (3) - maybe missing hitsound here? since 00:25:376 - has same music with before and it has drum whistle here. but i prefer to add whistle only for that slider , quiet part. I don't want to add hitsounds for this section, drum whistle sound nice there so I kept it
7. 00:23:827 (1) - another taste that imo Normal hitnormal feels too loud here. i prefer to use drum clap but it really just my taste , kept this, it sounds nice, distinguishable sound
8. 00:36:214 (1) - maybe missing whistle on head here?
9. 00:45:214 - nazi, unncessary greenline here
10. 00:54:021 (1) - must be removed for recovery time here , nope, its enough recovery, I skipped 1 white tick here
11. 01:11:053 (2) - change with finish? it hear a crash cymbal sound here so imo whistle isnt good enough for emphasize it too loud
12. 01:06:989 (1,2) - maybe just me that i feel blanket can improved here http://puu.sh/cGALP.jpg
13. 01:13:182 - imo this time has a quite loud trumpet sound here so you should map this time, well easiest rhythm just change 01:12:601 (4,1,2) - become http://puu.sh/cGB2U.jpg this pattern really nice , I prefer to keep this rhythm its simple for easy.
14. 01:17:634 - maybe add note here? i just feel the Easy kinda easy here coz has kinda long gap from rhythms, i guess add note here wont be too hurt for newbie its fine, I prefer not to.
15. 01:19:569 (1) - use soft finish instead of drum finish here? the music has crash cymbal sound here, imo drum finish not strong enough for it

• 
  Normal

1. 00:00:602 (1) - same as Easy
2. 00:08:924 - at least the rhythm can be started in here. 2/1 beats for recover time imo, enough time to recover here.
3. 00:14:343 (1,2,3,4) - the rhythm a little bit long here imo, i guess you can make simplifier rhythm such as http://puu.sh/cGRie.jpg (basically it already mapped the rhythms that you mapped before)
4. 00:20:924 (2) - maybe you can change this slider with a circle at 00:21:118 - to follow vocal instead to make easier rhythm
5. 00:31:182 (3,4) - hmm kinda weird for me when you map the stanza with slider's tail. it has quite loud drum sound so for me better to map it with clickable object, how about http://puu.sh/cGRw7.jpg ? , you told me kinda hard above, so I don't use circles for that part, cuz beats there are almost same as 00:26:924 (1,2) -
6. 00:30:601 (2) - is 0,86x intentional here? well i prefer to keep the consistent spacing though
7. 00:34:279 (3) - hmm according flow on previous sliders, it should be placed around 88,128 here (p.s : make inconsistency spacing with next objects)
8. 00:37:182 (3) - imo the music is quite loud here while i feel whistle isnt enough to emphasize. maybe try drum whistle here?
9. 00:38:537 (1,2) - well i can understand the NC here coz pattern but i still feel that better to NC in stanza for emphasize the musics change here keep nc for this.
10. 00:42:021 (2) - nazi but inconsistency spacing (1,11x) here
11. 00:42:408 (3,4,5) - maybe just for me but if you see these pattern from (3) (4) first, they dont look like a perfect triangle here, try make them become a nice triangle shape with any dimmension to see please http://puu.sh/cGSfa.jpg ~ the triangle look fine to me, yours look little smaller.
12. 00:48:214 (1,2) - swap the NC to better read the patterns, also the stanza here
13. 00:56:924 (2) - change this slider become a circle at 00:57:118 - ? it has louder music than those red ticks here (also avoid long rhythms from 00:54:795 - until 00:58:860 - )
14. 00:59:247 (4) - add some hitsound on slider's head? i guess i feel kinda empty here when the vocal is kinda strong
15. 01:00:795 - it has strong trumpet sound here, please map this time :C kept, its intentional and have to change 01:12:989 (1) -
16. 01:11:247 (3) - hmm move this circle to 01:11:440 - ? the drum is louder there
17. 01:18:601 (2) - the flow can improved here imo if you place the slider in rightward, i mean as https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/2213056 and you can stack https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/2213059 them like this on 01:18:601 (2) - 's head , good flow. its pattern I'm forming, I curve them left more and put them left of slider end.
18. 01:22:666 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - i know this is hard to fix but i feel the rhythms are too long here, well my suggestion just 01:25:182 (6) - remove this and use circle on whitetick

• 
  Hard
  Javanese here we go /runs

1. 00:03:698 (3) - gae repeat e slider lali whistle? ben podo karo 00:04:472 (4) -
2. 00:14:924 (2) - well overlap karo next slider e rodo elek dilihat jare ku, mendingan pindah en nang 164,164
3. 00:15:118 (3) - well 3/4 disini kedengaran aneh imo, musik blue tick jg gak kuat jadi beneran suggest buat 1/2 aja
4. 00:22:860 (2) - arahin flownya ke atas please ben flow e bener2 lebih natural http://puu.sh/cHgDr.jpg
5. 00:36:795 (4) - well abis triplet kerasa susah kalo lgsg dikasih jump, mendingan pke normal spacing atau mini jump kek 1,5x spacing gtu
6. 00:48:214 (4) - well personally gw ngeroso overlap e gak terlalu apik, agak blend sama previous slider sisan jadi e lumayan susah baca (dikit)
7. 00:57:698 (4,1) - tau ini style cuma beneran NC nya gak ada arti khusus kok disana, spacing ya kecil, gampang dibaca juga iya.. pendingan taruh 00:57:698 (4) - buat emphasize jump gtu, sek lebih bisa dimengerti
8. 01:09:698 (3,4,5) - jadiin slider repeat aja? well cuma taste aja soalnya gw emang gak terlalu suka triplet di Hard
9. 01:10:085 (6,1) - sama kek 00:57:698 (4,1) -
10. 01:16:279 (1,3) - stack properly?

• 
  Insane

1. 00:00:602 (1) - same as Easy
2. 00:03:118 (2,3,4) - this is calm part so i would say to reduce the spacing here example use 1,5x or 1,3x here. a circle (mini) jumps would be nicer for calm part for me , movement still the same imo, I'd prefer to keep cause this pattern pretty easy to play.
3. 00:09:698 (1) - the music on slider's head has cymbal sound so change whistle become finish , nah I like how they sound currently.
4. 00:11:247 (1) - the slider's head music has melody sound of the trumpet so i feel quite empty here, try add whistle? I think its ok, whistles sounds are for other beats.
5. 00:15:118 (3,2) - ^
6. 00:45:505 (1) - nazi and just my taste that you could do more natural flow if you make the curve on downward instead of upward
7. 00:51:311 (2) - make this as 3/4 for this slider and change into 1/2 for next slider? imo that rhythms feel better since 3/4 following the vocal here http://puu.sh/cHiAv.jpg imo if I do that, I have to change to 0.50 SV , and I kinda want jump to next note.
8. 01:09:505 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - make the flow of the streams become smoother please since kinda weird to see when the 4 circles in first time are straight and suddenly it changed become curving for (5) and (6) intentional.
9. 01:18:601 (2) - personally i feel that jump is too small here, you can make it futher example https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/2214241 , really weird flow, too much down when your moving up.
10. 01:19:569 (1) - personally i prefer to use soft finish on this head coz the crash cymbal here, well just my taste after all
11. 01:19:569 (1) - still on this slider, i feel the repeat a little bit empty too coz it has vocal here. maybe add whistle for it?
12. 01:27:118 (2) - personally i prefer to make further spacing too here, 376,48 looks not bad for me
13. Love your style <3

try find 2 mods more and then call me back

osu file format v13

[General]
AudioFilename: Rakuen no Tsubasa.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 2000
PreviewTime: 56723
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.2
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 0

[Editor]
DistanceSpacing: 1.2
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 4
TimelineZoom: 1.4

[Metadata]
Title:Rakuen no Tsubasa
TitleUnicode:楽園の翼
Artist:Kurosaki Maon
ArtistUnicode:黒崎 真音
Creator:Tari
Version:Mochi's Hard
Source:グリザイアの果実 -LE FRUIT DE LA GRISAIA-
Tags:opening fruit of loom forbidden Momochikun adaption
BeatmapID:522112
BeatmapSetID:221250

[Difficulty]
HPDrainRate:5.5
CircleSize:4
OverallDifficulty:6
ApproachRate:7.4
SliderMultiplier:1.42
SliderTickRate:1

[Events]
//Background and Video events
0,0,"BG.jpg",0,0
//Break Periods
//Storyboard Layer 0 (Background)
//Storyboard Layer 1 (Fail)
//Storyboard Layer 2 (Pass)
//Storyboard Layer 3 (Foreground)
//Storyboard Sound Samples
//Background Colour Transformations
3,100,163,162,255

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602,387.096774193548,4,2,3,50,1,0
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82763,-100,4,2,3,65,0,0
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Combo2 : 0,187,0
Combo3 : 0,128,255
Combo4 : 255,55,55

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315,77,63698,1,8,0:0:0:0:
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360,324,66021,1,8,0:0:0:0:
332,218,66214,2,0,P|261:206|191:201,1,142,2|0,3:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
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218,88,71440,1,8,0:0:0:0:
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115,207,74537,1,8,0:0:0:0:
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313,342,81118,5,4,0:0:0:0:
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