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i've been hella tired recently, regardless of the amount of sleep i get or what i do all day. idk what to do.

how do you get out of a peak boredom state? like, when you're REALLY bored, what's your last resort?
When I am really bored and have nothing to do (which is pretty rare lately).
I have would imagine stuffs. Like go on an adventure in my head.
I'd imagine what it's like to fly, to go anywhere I like, to visit countries.
Or I could imagine a story for a novel that I've always wanted but would never write.


What is the thing that you like and hate most about yourself?
Simultaneously, or separately?


My apath--...

I'm not sure if I'm even apathetic anymore.

The emotions are there. They're just... repressed, or something.

I hate that I can't understand things well enough.

I appreciate that I at least kept going, kept living, to at least see where I can take this.

- - -

Simultaneously, uh I'd have to go with my naivety, I guess

Makes it easier to make friends and I really like trusting and supporting people, but it also hits me in the face whenever the world isn't as nice as I want it to be or when my kindness prevents me from moving forward in life. I don't want the road to success to be paved by the people I've stepped on to get there

Who's a role model in ypur life, why, and how have they affected you or changed you?
I’d say that I have no role models other than myself. I don’t want to strive to be someone else, I want to be me. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. 2016 version of me is the person who is my role model. I was so happy, motivated, driven, compassionate, etc, but I seem to have lost many of those things.

Same Q
I don't really have a role model. I just try to become the best version of myself. (Sorry if this sounds a bit similar to Penguin's answer).


If there are two things that is exactly the same with no differences, but one is real and one is fake.
And of course you know exactly which one is real and which one is fake.
Then which one do you think has a higher value? (Can be monetary value and/or spiritual value)
The real one of course has more value. You see it a lot in watches and clothing. There's a lot of fakes that are near identical to the human eye. If you were to buy the fake one, then you wouldn't be supporting the company and people that put so much time and effort into creating it though, so I always go genuine even if the fake is cheaper.

Have you had any teachers that have had a lasting impact on your life? If so, why?
Certainly, in some way or another. I often wind up talking with my teachers for whatever reason, and we can sometimes get into some interesting conversations.

Things like that happened a lot back in middle school and my freshman year.

It's thanks to them for engaging in conversations that I've had the means to analyze and apply my train of thought with.

Not gonna go into too much detail since I'm at school, but yeah, my teachers have certainly played a part in my life as I developed my thought process.

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Your opinion on college? In which cases is it worth it, and in which would it not be worth it?
I'm in uni atm and in my opinion, it's really up to the person whether it's worth it or not.
To me, it's not that bad.

But is it worth it? Well, I can't say for now, maybe I can answer that question after I've graduated.
Right now I don't really know how I should feel about uni.
I do feel like 4 years in uni is too long and I do feel like I'm missing out a lot.
I'm in 2nd year now but I feel like I haven't learned much at all.
But it did gave me some interesting experience that I won't be able to experience anywhere else that I think would serve me well after I graduated.

So I guess I feel like I didn't learned much, but I did matured a lot ever since I got into uni.
Or maybe that maturity would come gradually anyways regardless of me going to uni or not, but I don't know.
And also if I go to uni, I'll have a better chance at having a good job so that's good I guess.
But I'll have to wait until I graduate to know for sure though. My older brother went to uni too and he got a job that had nothing to do with his major.

- - - -

What is the cringiest thing that you've done in the past?
Singing. Well, not the act in itself, but rather what song went out of my mouth.
My audience being classmates of that time I've done it.
I could forgive myself a bit, because it was as a game, the "jukebox".
But that's one of the directions/paths/actions I regret having gone through.

How's the night ("cold", "noisy because of the wind", ...)?

That;s a pretty unusual question, but ehm...

It's a quiet night tonight. Silent, even. I'm just here, on my laptop, in an otherwise pitch-black bedroom, with very little to do.

- - -

What are your favorite songs?
I have a lot of favorite songs, but I guess most of them came from video games.
Some of them are:

Rivers in the desert
Memories of dust
Snow drive
Bad apple
Take me home, country road
Idola circus
The lost one's weeping
The importance of being idle
Francium - Nanahira
Everyday is night
Power - Kanye West
Stand by me

And so on but that's all I can remember right now.

- - - -

Same question
Secede - Born in a Tropical Swamp (most likely my all-time favourite song)
Sweet Trip - To All the Dancers of the World, a Round Form of Fantasy
múm - The Land Between Solar Systems
Belong - October Language
Paavoharju - Pimeänkarkelo
Paavoharju - Italialaisella Laivalla
Candy Claws - White Seal (Shell and Spine)
William Basinski - dlp 1.1
Massive Attack - Small Time Shot Away
Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy
The Future Sound of London - Viewed From an Obscure Angle
Angèle - Ta Reine
Healer - The Answer
Carbon Based Lifeforms - Euphotic
Braids - Glass Deers
Igorrr - Infinite Loop
Birdy - 1901
Choongum - A Church of Beauty and Despair

same q
Argh, I really wanna answer this question but I'm going have a hell of a hard time sifting through the music I listen to...

I'll edit this to include 30 of my favorites (in no particular order) so I dont flood the damn post and so I dont die trying to find my favorites.

Thank you for understanding, I will edit this soon.

- - -

TL;DR, catchy Touhou songs, mostly from Akatsuki Records, some from Yellow Zebra, めらみぽっぷ, and あよ, but too ranged to be definitive.

Would you prefer coffee or ice cream on a fictional date?
I don't really get the "fictional date" part. But normally, I would prefer coffee over ice cream.

- - - -

Would you rather having to beat Dark souls with only a broken sword or pass a 7* map on Osu! With mouse only?
7* map with mouse only. I’m already a mouse player, so I pretty much just have to pick a map with few triples/streams and only jumps and I can pass it.

If you watch movies, do you tend to look for new movies or rewatch ones you’ve already seen.
Hmm, tendencies. Unless anime counts, I don't really watch movies. For anime, it's a bit of both for varying reasons, but I think I'd be willing to try different anime a bit more.

- - -

Do you constantly second-guess yourself and get caught up in your own flowing long trains of thought?
yes, all the time, i have anxiety about stupid things all the time, and think i've messed things up in the past, and then i just constantly think about what would be different, etc.
i also get caught in long trains of thought related to daydreams, or people i miss etc. basically i'm a mess lmao, anyway..

- - -

what is the most egotistical thing you said in the past that you find stupid and cringe now?
The closest I've ever come to 'egotistical' was when I asked a classmate in 4th grade,
"Why are you so stupid?" Other than that, I keep my actual thoughts hidden.

In your opinion, do you think the right/motive to commit/attempt suicide is debatable or not?
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