I am back to my normal indifference, and have been seeing better stuff happen personally, its been okay now
updateLyawi wrote:
There is a bit too much organisation going on. I'm going to
1. give my apartment a whole make-over
2. incoming big job changes and
3. planning a website for people who found an animal in need of help (it's related to the voluntary work I used to do a few months ago and I like to change things to the better).
yes it's stressing but let's see where this goes~
Such is life. Sometimes everybody you know is struck by some challenge. Hopefully it is nothing too big/serious, though.MrMcMikey22 wrote:
Damn it why does my family have to deal with many kinds of strange and scary things happening? It's kind of dumb and creepy that all of us are having some kind of issue that can endanger our lives...
It's honestly kind of scary... ;_;
Buuuuut I feel like I gotta have to talk it to someone in private...
Sometimes it's better to keep things somewhat secret, you know..?
If you need someone to talk to, please reach out.Wimpy Cursed wrote:
For the past two weeks, my mental health has felt like it has hit a decline.
Usually comes from stupid thoughts, seriously a killer. Sometimes I feel like I am empty, worthless even, or I am just mad. It is like I have developed anger issues again, and it feels weird to notice that.
I am not completely sure on how to calm it down. Today I wrote in class just my overall thoughts.. But that got negative. So, I don't think it was all that helpful. The other option was to take long walks, get distracted by the nature. Hey, I love that, always, but I do not feel like it has really "fixed" the problem.
I am going to keep some details hidden due to it being at a personal level. All I can say is that it involves family and loneliness, for the most part anyway.
Reach to any sort of professional help.Wimpy Cursed wrote:
For the past two weeks, my mental health has felt like it has hit a decline.
Usually comes from stupid thoughts, seriously a killer. Sometimes I feel like I am empty, worthless even, or I am just mad. It is like I have developed anger issues again, and it feels weird to notice that.
I am not completely sure on how to calm it down. Today I wrote in class just my overall thoughts.. But that got negative. So, I don't think it was all that helpful. The other option was to take long walks, get distracted by the nature. Hey, I love that, always, but I do not feel like it has really "fixed" the problem.
I am going to keep some details hidden due to it being at a personal level. All I can say is that it involves family and loneliness, for the most part anyway.
There's so much stigma around being a virgin. Just be happy. Nobody cares you're a virgin.Winnyace wrote:
This might get me silenced or something, but I do want to get it off my chest.
I have been dealing with an inferiority complex regarding romantic and sexual relationships. I never had a girlfriend before. When I was younger, I used to think that I would get my first kiss when I was 15-16. It didn't happen, as I'm now 20. Of course, this put a lot of stress on me, beginning from high school and intensifying massively during the pandemic. From 2020 outwards, things have turned more and more grim and only recently have I been starting to feel better about myself.
Needless to say, I still feel it. A combination of being a 20 year old virgin, alongside this inferiority complex has created a mix of negative feelings and prejudice against women, most men, honestly the entire world that makes me uncomfortable to think about. Put alongside this other issues like a low self-esteem, a more reversed personality and poor self-control and you got a disaster.
Now, unlike a couple of years ago, I do have more of a plan: grief. Really, truly begin believing that I am, for the lack of a nicer word, fucked. I will, most likely, never have a girlfriend. Truly mourn this and try to come to terms with it. After I'm done with it, begin to move on by doing things to make this reality better. I already plan to get a degree in computer science and get a nice job in IT. During my time, I want to spend it doing things like playing around with musical stuff, playing video games and maybe even developing them, restore old computers and technology and learn about it, gardening and trying to stay in shape, both mentally and physically. I feel like this will better set me up for a happier self than if I were to be rotting anyway, complaining that the world is injustice and unfair.
Keep going king. I'm sure you can do it.UPR wrote:
I am still walking around, I lost my job but have others applied for and an interview set up. I have lost a group of people I hung out with irl cause they couldn't trust me enough to tell me my faults so I lost trust for people even more. I am planning to go seek therapy though so if anything else, those people broke me out of my self-denial for the last 7 years. My dog is in her final days unfortunately, but I am going to stick by her til the end cause she is the one I love the most. Overall things are bad, but they could be worse. I am on the road to trying to be better, even if the world or myself wants to beat me down I am still moving forward
there's not really an easy way to say this so I'm not going to try and sugarcoat it: this is racist. I'm not saying that you yourself are a racist, but that the fetishistic idea of black men being more sexually desireable, presumably because of what you see in porn, is racist.Winnyace wrote:
, I feel inferior and somewhat scared of black males because of their sex appeal.
I know, but that's what I feel at the moment and I am trying to reframe it into something less negative or try... something to make it less painful.xch00F wrote:
there's not really an easy way to say this so I'm not going to try and sugarcoat it: this is racist. I'm not saying that you yourself are a racist, but that the fetishistic idea of black men being more sexually desireable, presumably because of what you see in porn, is racist.Winnyace wrote:
, I feel inferior and somewhat scared of black males because of their sex appeal.
Winnyace wrote:
I know, but that's what I feel at the moment and I am trying to reframe it into something less negative or try... something to make it less painful.xch00F wrote:
there's not really an easy way to say this so I'm not going to try and sugarcoat it: this is racist. I'm not saying that you yourself are a racist, but that the fetishistic idea of black men being more sexually desireable, presumably because of what you see in porn, is racist.Winnyace wrote:
, I feel inferior and somewhat scared of black males because of their sex appeal.
I don't know why you would feel bad about writing this, since I agree with it.xch00F wrote:
Winnyace wrote:
I know, but that's what I feel at the moment and I am trying to reframe it into something less negative or try... something to make it less painful.xch00F wrote:
there's not really an easy way to say this so I'm not going to try and sugarcoat it: this is racist. I'm not saying that you yourself are a racist, but that the fetishistic idea of black men being more sexually desireable, presumably because of what you see in porn, is racist.Winnyace wrote:
, I feel inferior and somewhat scared of black males because of their sex appeal.
I feel kinda shitty writing this lmao, gonna spoiler it
realistically if you're just trying to "reframe" feeling inferior for not being able to get laid, it doesn't need to be in a racial context at all. ppl of every race can feel inferior because they're a virgin, and it can be for a myriad of different reasons. there are things you can improve about yourself that will make you more sexually desireable across the board, skin color is not one of them. and besides, if someone wants to have sex with you based purely on your skin color and not because of some kind of intimate personal relationship, that would also be racist.
this is a rabbit hole that you definitely do not want to fall down and the fact that you're self aware enough about it makes you way less likely to fall into it. not very far, anyway.
also, have you considered not watching porn
my condolences bub, losing a pet is always hardUPR wrote:
My Dog has passed away as of yesterday morning, I am not okay, but I am at least grateful she went peacefully, she had a rough 15 years, but 11 of those were spent with me and my family giving her the best life she could have. I hope it was enough for her
that's so sad... stay strong, man. life is rough. you'll get through this <3UPR wrote:
My Dog has passed away as of yesterday morning, I am not okay, but I am at least grateful she went peacefully, she had a rough 15 years, but 11 of those were spent with me and my family giving her the best life she could have. I hope it was enough for her
Man's got life figured out, GG.le_benny wrote:
working on myself, working out, eating better, moving soon, I'm absolutely SLAYING
+1,Achromalia wrote:
nothing changes when nothing changes
an inertia of inertia
little to no volition to will my way away
i float beside you listlessly, reading and viewing you and your experiences and sensationsEyeonized wrote:
Fucking miserable lol. I need a hug
Have a virtual hug.Eyeonized wrote:
Fucking miserable lol. I need a hug
feeling a little better this week. getting my job back soon and met with some friends thank you to all who offered a hugEyeonized wrote:
Fucking miserable lol. I need a hug
<33 im grateful thimgs are lil better, good luck for employment bc labor markets are brutal q-qEyeonized wrote:
feeling a little better this week. getting my job back soon and met with some friends thank you to all who offered a hugEyeonized wrote:
Fucking miserable lol. I need a hug
music is very interesting indeed, all the funny sounds helps your mind wander around, its a unique experience if you choose the right music and you're in the right mood.Achromalia wrote:
i keep expecting to be in despair but i guess i must be doing a good job of distracting myself lately
incredibly cozy, metaphorically soaking into comfort... i think it's something with the way im laying in bed?? it stretches my joints in the strangest most relieving ways and the music im listening to is an absolute pleasure, it makes me really think about the. satisfying subtleties of sound design ^^ its like im buried in a sensory sea
i know it will fade with time but i want to hold onto how this has been feeling