Winnyace wrote:
sametdze wrote:
the idea of someone with an avatar like that talking shit to me makes me laugh for some reason
What can I say? I'm way too sensitive sometimes and being online, in a sub-forum mostly interested in shitposting and whatnot, it isn't a good idea.
i think i sympathize with that;; it did in fact remind me of the poly thread, although im not very deeply affected by... most avatars, maybe, so much as i am by how our typing styles communicate our thoughts... it's our choices in punctuation and capitalization, sure, but also which topics we address and to what extent we elaborate on them. it's in how concretely precise or abstractly tangential our comments are, how we phrase a sentence and how we frame the subject. it's in how introspective or definitive we are in our suggestions or statements. it's how low/high the effort in emotive affect would be, how long you dwell and linger on a subject inside or outside the context of a conversation, how much we may or may not add qualifiers to our suggestions/statements, et cetera
you've always read to me as being so... i guess... kind of ambiguously dry and terse, and yet also ambivalent? it admittedly is both fascinating and intimidating coupled with at least the
impression of an earnestness in your unadultered critiques of various things, so it presents a kind of invisible wall, something like an impression of callousness (where any of the rare moments of whimsy counteracting it, like the pyromania thread, would appear slightly dry) which then is "betrayed"/subverted by very vulnerable glimpses of moments where it seems you place lots of care and effort into advising someone to take care of themself or in moments of admitting to insecurities or in describing yourself as sensitive
with someone like... karmine, for example, somehow this is a fair bit different. a few similar impressions exist there in my mind, but somehow karmine doesn't seem that dry, nor particularlt terse, and this is helped a lot by certain emoticons and figures of speech ("nah, aight", which
could read as being somewhat more casual, a willingness to not need to appear formal). i'm not entirely sure what this is, i don't have concrete answers for that. karmine still can seem vaguely callous in some responses, yet i doubt that really accurately composes the underlying personality and sentiment behind the screen. i see you the same way, but in the brief few interactions we had, you read as much more genuinely externally apathetic and disinterested in anything other than your interests (to clarify, not a sincere critique, not suggesting i truly believe that, nor that there ought to be any change), as though standing entirely alone in a box and set apart from the more social denizens in here-- yet that's not entirely right, as this impression is subverted again by people who truly seem to at least mostly respect and value you. i suppose it's mostly that i believe that's the case, even if i don't necessarily have any evidence to suggest it as definitively true
sametdze is another interesting contrast-- somewhere in the middle, he seems very relaxed and vaguely funny, with some investments in the forum. i'm not totally sure how i would describe this though, i'm losing clarity in my impressions and abstractions and am a little fatigued;; but he seems fitting as the stepping stone before the next two people that come to mind for illustrative purposes, being the deepfried chaotic humor and sickly saccharine excitability of reffty and lostsilver, respectively. they're much higher in emotive affect in my mind, being much easier to be around to some limited extent-- that extent obviously being a general uncomplicated childlike whimsy, because... they're almost certainly children, if barely even teenagers, so...
...i don't know. tone and personality are strange things. you all are fascinating, and yet most people are kind of hard for a person like me to approach, where i would also consider myself sensitive/reactive in some senses, and not entirely aware of how to actively moderate my obsessive speculative/explorative rumination without just not saying anything to anyone at all-- somewhat of a false absolutist dichotomy, but it certainly seems that way. ultimately it results in there being a lot of text and effort in thought that i generally tend to believe would be Exhausting to read, but... maybe not, i don't really know that