Age of empire and homm3

Sq

Starcraft (+ Starcraft Brood War), Platform Racing 2 (browser game), and several Need for Speed games from Underground, Underground 2, to Most Wanted 2003, Carbon, & Pro Street).

I'll throw in Diablo, the original Ratchet & Clank, ehm...

then there's fucking Ace Combat 4: Shattered Skies, so good.

so... quite a few.

the Playstation 2 had been my favorite console for all the games i had for it.

the PC and browser games played a good part in it all as well.

good times, until everything went to shit.

- - -

SQ.

Donkey Kong Country Trilogy and Super Mario games, all of which were on the SNES. That was all I had for a while.

I'm sure there are pleeeenty more but those are just the ones that initially pop into my head.

- - -

Have any game ideas?

It's really hard for me to come up with them sometimes. On rare occasions where I'm actually motivated I'm just like "ALRIGHT I'M ACTUALLY PUMPED, NOW LET'S MAKE A GAME-", but then I can't come up with anything. Gives me that feeling of desperately wanting to do something but not knowing where to start.

i'm assuming you're looking for game premises? there's also scrappy ideas to implement in pre-existing game projects, but it depends on what resources are available and what can/will be done for some game of sorts.

i'll throw random shit out.

1. how about a rhythm-based bullet hell shooter or platformer? better yet, A RHYTHMIC DANMAKU PUZZLE GAME.

2. a poem puzzler? poem puzzle-platformer? idk.

3. minimalist graphics, music from the Minimal genre, minimalist premise, crazy prerequisite of awareness and multi-tasking + strategy.

4. strategic-heavy game with minimal controls, multiple 2D screens to snap between, but one level, and endless enemies.

hopefully the insanity of that sparks something.

- - -

SQ, hopefully westo can get some more good ideas here.

Not gonna say much because I’m still planning about this but I got this idea from playing DnD with my friends. Rogue-lite game in a fantasy world with spells that you need components to create

Sq

i've been looking for this and didn't found yet(or maybe i'm not gaymer enough): a 2d(or 3d) gun-porn game where the focus is building your gun not your character, where you collect gun parts which directly affect gun properties or just find fully assembled gun with solid stats (you can disassemble it for your own gun). I'm imagining some wacky gun builds like homing bullets, ammo or life steal etc. with corresponding rarity of properties.

sq

Not sure if that would interest you but personally, I think that coding physics is very interesting, as you have to adapt the laws and equations you have studied into a more concrete settings and it also helps you understand physics better. So if I wanted to code a game I would ask myself. What physical concept do I find interesting? And then I would find a way to make a game out of it.

Another idea that might be worth checking out would be board game. Those can offer you different challenge than what physics can offer since they are about game rule instead of equations, so you need to find a way to code whatever rule the game has. Just picking an already existing game is the easiest idea but if you really want to, you could come up with your own set of rule which you feel would be interesting to translate into code.

SQ

rock paper scissors

sq

some more.

1. sandbox game where you're heavily limited in what you can do, yet you can still do anything. paradoxical? yeah! you can figure that one out, i guess.

2. story-based game using the Bitsy game engine tool thingy. just for fun, really.

3. a game based on optical illusions and spacial awareness, requiring the player to know their character speed and stuff to figure out where they likely are, as well as visual cues and stuff. a simple platformer will do. bring in a story too, if you'd like.

if it's not sufficient, feel free to ask again.

- - -

any nsfw artists you enjoy?

I'll list some of my favorites.

Michiking, Aiue Oka, Bota Mochito, Hinasaki Yo, Utu, Kakao, Meme50, etc

--------------

Same question.

I don't exactly have quite as clear of an idea of my favorites, but i've seen some various stuff from the likes of Tabuley. right now, that name sticks out in my mind.

- - -

sq.

Thanks for all the ideas my dudes. Actually I may have just came up with a good one, question is when I'm actually gonna do it.

Achromalia wrote:

hopefully the insanity of that sparks something.

I've definitely thought about your #1 and #4 ideas before. I was almost gonna do that #4 idea but back then I felt like I wasn't ready to handle that type of challenge. I'm more confident in my abilities now so maybe one day I'll try that type of thing out. Altho rn I'm thinking about trying to make more simple games since all my previous ones took longer than I would have liked to create. They were a bit more complicated but also more linear which is kinda boring. I just came up with an idea which I think could be fun and simple. (the one i mentioned in the first line)

samX500 wrote:

Not sure if that would interest you but personally, I think that coding physics is very interesting-

I'm thinking about doing some sorta silly floppy-type physics one day. That might be fun. Unity already has a physics engine so all you really need to do is fine-tune it to your specific needs.

Thanks to everyone else as well. It's much appreciated.

- - - - - -

Achromalia wrote:

any nsfw artists you enjoy?

*ahem*
sq

Do people actually pay attention to nsfw artist? Cause I don’t since I always search by genre
(Tho ty for the sauce)

Sq

cutesexyrobutts

same q

sky_freedom, lolicept (c96), and/or ricegnat. they clean as fuc

edit: sq (what's your favorite nsfw artist?)

I never check the artist, I always sort my stuff by parodies.

SQ

yuzuki n dash

invalid.

- - -

what kind of person would you enjoy hanging around?

A person that can play along with my joke well. Many times I make a subtle joke but most people don’t understand so ye, that’s fun

Sq

hmm. kinda hard to say without maybe being vague.

generally, i enjoy being around people that can afford to be serious and practical yet dorky and comedic when the situation calls for it. someone who's easy to talk to about anything that comes to mind.

- - -

same question.

I enjoy hanging around with people, who don't mind spending time in the nature, enjoy talking about deeper subjects and have a weird sense of humour.

same q

Literally anyone who can understand me and engage in a decently sustained conversation, because my interests are nothing like those of most other people of similar demographics as mine. Basically anyone adaptable enough to shift conversations back and forth between serious matters such as school, and more leisurely topics such as anime. But I highly doubt most people who spend a significant amount of time online chatting in forums, Discord etc. would enjoy the former.

What would you look for in a partner? This is possibly a question that's been asked many times before, but I feel that it's important to have clear ideas of what you want. If you don't, then it's best to avoid looking to deepen a relationship with a partner until you discover what traits you want him or her to possess.

Well, I've lived together with my girlfriend for 3 years now. It's good to date someone you can be yourself with and don't have to play a role. Self-explanatory things, she has to be reliable and supportive, all that. Obvious stuff. It's important to be able to talk with her about anything, important and deep things but also weird little things. She has a good taste in music, our tastes in a lot of things go hand in hand, actually, it's really great. Of course, she's absolutely adorable as well.

same q

For me to stop fearing relationships ._.

Same question!

I would like my partner to be able to be a bit more talkative than me, while not being annoying. She also shouldn't be too possessive since that limits a lot of freedom. Preferably she would have the same interests as me, but I wouldn't be too upset if she didn't. Bonus points if she has thicc thighs and glasses.

sq

Their caring and cheerful vibe

What are your thoughts on Safeway? (a store)

i'm pretty indifferent about it. not much to say.

- - -

...are there any moments you wished you could just erase from your life history?

No.
I've made a lot of mistakes and have lots of embarrassing moments in my life before, but they helped to make me as the person I am today.
Simply erasing mistakes I've had in the past won't change me into a better person, it would only cause me to make that same mistake in the future.

--------------------

Same question.

I appreciate every moment I experienced in my life, whether it is a sad memory that I definitely don't want to re-experience it or an awkward memory that I just want to get hit by coldtooth's bus whenever I think about it, since, as Tad has said, these memories built up who I am today. Also it would be a boring life if the road that you have to go is all smooth wouldn't it?

Sq

Would be great to have something erased... If that action was without consequences on my own memory.
But in the event of erasing both moments and their respective cerebral memories, I'd rather wish for some people to be gone, in any meaning.


How's the harassment/bullying rate in your country?

Physical bullying? Pretty low.
Cyberbullying? It's been on the rise, but it's not that bad.
I think I've said it before, but over here teachers actually care about the well-being of their students. It's pretty hard to get away with bullying in any form for an extended period of time.
Harassment as in rape, etc.? Definitely low. It only really happens at night, and even then there's enough people around that it's more than likely that someone will notice. Overall, my country packs a huge population into a tiny area, so it's pretty hard to get yourself truly "alone" anywhere.

Same question

seems pretty bad. i haven't experienced much personally, but have observed plenty of it.

i'm not very well-versed in it, so speaking about it would be tough to do with accuracy.

- - -

what are your core motivations for living?

I don't know why but ever since the kyoAni tragedy, I can no longer think "It wouldn't bother me if I were to die tommorow", which is something that I've always thought since I started refeclecing on myself (Funny enough the one other time I couldn't think that was when I had finished watching Clannad and was waiting to watch after story). Ever since that tragedy I am trying harder to improve myself for their sake, which is why I have begun playing the euphonium and working out.

SQ

i don't really have one lmao

What's one thing you would take back if you could?

My highschool days definitely. I've wasted my chance to play in a band because back when I was in high school I didn't care about music. The best I can hope if I want to do band would be a collaboration on the internet with other people. Though before thinking about that I should get better at my instrument.

SQ

now... there is one thing i want back, only one... it is something i treasured when i was young, it is my harmonica... my dad knew i loved harmonicas way back, so he bought 2 of them... i lost them both (high chance my manipulative aunt stole those two, she stole my sibling's money, turned them into a slave as well), but if i could just have one of those, doesn't matter if its the more fancy one or not... i just want at least one back... i want to learn how to actually use that... i want one of my dreams to be true...

my parents doesn't want to buy a harmonica anymore... now i might be a bit too desperate, but i just want to save up money just to buy one... i just want one... one harmonica... i would be happy to at least have one... that is all i want...

same question

My CD copy of every game I used to play when I was young. I’ve been trying to find them for years but only could find a few of them

Sq

The old netlabel I used to be on until it died in like 2013.

same q

The old osu forum site.


Same question.

I can't think of anything that used to belong to me that I regret having done away with, but I remember reading some book in primary school. I had loaned it out from the library and it was a really thick book, I think it was a story about the journey of a Scrabble player. I couldn't finish the last chapter before the book was due, so I returned it. I never saw it again. Looking back, I wish I'd finished it to figure out what happened in the end.

What advice would you give to people who easily get distracted?

Put yourself in a situation where you cannot get distracted. I can easily get distracted when I am working with a computer, so I try to avoid using them if I don't need them. I actually stay at school to study because I know that if I get back home to study, I will end up playing on my computer and won't get a whole lot of work done.

SQ

samX500 wrote:

Put yourself in a situation where you cannot get distracted. I can easily get distracted when I am working with a computer, so I try to avoid using them if I don't need them. I actually stay at school to study because I know that if I get back home to study, I will end up playing on my computer and won't get a whole lot of work done.

SQ

HOLY SHIT.

THE ABSOLUTE SAME.

so i've got a similar problem, and i tend to throw on every bit of work i can do while i'm still at school. i used to stay after-school in one of my previous high schools, in the classroom of a pretty interesting art teacher i knew, in order to work on my art projects. sadly, i had forgotten to reclaim them before i left the school due to moving out of my old home, back when it got sold. it frustrated me, as i was really proud of my charcoal piece.

anyways, i don't have anything great to offer, heh. i'd probably say the same thing. adapt to your circumstances the best you can and get done with whatever you can while you have the time. ask for help if needed, or find a method that works for you and gets you engaged in the work you do, like some internal goal or something.

- - -

ever wonder what others think of you, and what perspective they have regarding you as a person?

Yes and that’s why even tho I don’t look like it, I’m self-concious all the time

Sq

I think it's only natural to have such questions.
I'd suppose everyone would wonder the same thing from time to time, even if they don't really care what others think of them.

--------

Which philosophy do you follow, believe or is interested in?

John Locke is my personal favourite philosopher. Empiricism used to be my #1 interest while studying philosophy and I strongly "follow" it. I also like Plato.

same q

A fair question. I had an interest in philosophy, but was not exactly very serious about it. I never purchased any books to read up and research on it, and hardly spent much time going through everything, and I'd mostly delved into its more existential "answers", in a sense.

I think I had mostly sympathized with the ideas set in Absurdism.

Hmm. I glanced at it again and found something that sounded rather similar to my thought process when I escaped my own thoughts of suicide.

I had thought that "As pointless as life may seem, death would be even more pointless".

In the New World Encyclopedia's entry for Absurdism, it eventually says: "...suicide is not a worthwhile solution because if life is veritably absurd, then it is even more absurd to counteract it...", and "...the beauty that people encounter in life makes it worth living. People may create meaning in their own lives, which may not be the objective meaning of life but still provides something for which to strive".

So, yeah. It seems to describe my thoughts pretty well at times, but I should look into things more seriously at some point.

A large part of why I live, after all, is to create, and whether it be some sort of meaning for myself, or perhaps some solace for others to find, even something for me immerse myself in, it's all enjoyable.

I strive to create, and to see how things turn out.

- - -

same question.

i'm really interested about Nietzsche.
I haven't own any of his books yet since I'm poor atm but I've read about him.
Though it's a shame how he's been misquoted and his philosophies were misunderstood. The prime example of this is how he was misquoted by the Nazis in WW2 to further their ideals.

-----------------

Same Question.

I think of myself as an utalitarian dabbling in social darwinism, although I find most philosophy highly interesting. I would love to own more classical works. Right now, I'm thinking I might try to grab some of Gilles Deleuze's work.

Same q

I'm pretty ignorant in philosophy so I don't know any of this stuff lmao

How do you view yourself now compared to 5 years ago?

I Don't think i am change,still an introvert kid who had trouble talking to new people.i mean i want to change,but its quite hard
Same question

my view to myself compared to 5 years ago feels like a whole different story... i view myself as a main character... see myself on top of everyone else, perfect... i view myself as the perfect human, the best... my ego is so horrifying i would say anything even though it would hurt people so badly... that was who i was back then... and that was the final year that personality of mine is extremely visible, yeah it went on throughout my young days.

my view to myself now is a huge change compared to the past, yes i still see myself above people sometimes, but its not that extreme. that is because my ego went down so quickly, in just a few months after going to a different country, my ego dropped so hard that it even got my social skills with it. that caused my view of myself to change, i now see myself as a someone... nothing special... sometimes even lower than that... i don't want to achieve what my past self wanted, perfection... its impossible...

i'm just glad i didn't find this place when my ego was high... i would've been a nightmare to deal with...

same question

I view myself extremely differently. 5 years ago I didn't do anything at all with my life, I wasn't practicing any activities, meeting up with people or even consuming art. All I did was mindlessly watch youtube video, and not valuable entertainement, really just dumb video with no value other than immediate self satisfaction.

I personally consider myself to have been born 4 years ago, as that was the time where I finally started to do something with my life.

This question may be more interesting to answer in another 5 years. I've already changed massively in just those 4 years and I see no reason why I would stop changing and improving myself.

SQ

I don't even know myself from 5 years ago. Being thrown out of home 4 years ago was when the current me was born. I eventually became more functional, graduated from high school a couple months later and got my first jobs and such. Started releasing some music I'm still happy with, I guess I started being, you know, decent at it. Got together with my girlfriend half a year later and moved together with her another half a year later. Stuff that I had never had any experience with before. Growing up might be scary to some, but for me, it saved my life. I didn't have to live with an unstable mom anymore or sleep on a friend's floor for too long.

same q

"17", so when I was goofing around when I should have cared about my high school graduation coming next year...
I guess I was an idiot at that point. Easy to say.
That wasn't a proper answer, now that I read the question.
But given what I said, it's obvious I can say "better than this boy".


What's a joke (or a "meme", but not a prank) you enjoy?
(I'm not asking the type of humor, but an actual joke you've read/heard from anywhere. Like these.)

"What did the Spanish guy say to the other Spanish guy?"
"I don't know, I don't speak Spanish"

Same question

My favorite meme format is the brain expansion meme. There are a few other meme format I really like but the brain expension really is king.

I also like joke that portray the dumbest of things as the supperior way of doing things.

SQ

John Cena, back when it was a fresh and new thing

sq

i hate my old posts

"I bought a circumcision -50% off. It was a rip off."

same q

Pork Chop Duo's jokes

sq

Well, instead of editing the message, I'll just delete and get this thread up again Kak.


So here's a new question instead of me posting more Bokete stuff.


What's a song you think that is "overrated"? Like, "I don't understand what's so good in it to get [number] views, even after listening to it."
(Please don't make it because of your personal taste, of course '-')

This question is fundamentally flawed, enoying music is entirely based out of personal taste and personal experience. The term overrated only really means that your taste don't match the majority regarding that specific song.

I am gonna answer anyway based on personal taste.

In my case I'd say most of pop music isn't nearly as good as it's amount of popularity suggest, however that's kind of normal because pop music is made to apeal to a lot of people and thus it is good to a lot of people but great to almost no one, which is why it is extremely popular and also extremely looked down upon by anyone that cares about music.

SQ

This one is easy.

Kyary Anan by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu.

What's your favorite book that you've read? Manga/graphic novels don't count.

Anything by Asimov. I,Robot probably the most.

If you are a fan of rock/metal, what is your favourite guitarist? (My favourite is pretty obvious, just read my signature.)

Either Mick Mars or Brad Delson.


***************************************

Have you had the urgency to know something was wrong and it was correct?
In other words, did you ever have a gut feeling that turned out to be true?

What Kyoto Animation announced about their donations was something I'd speculated; they're using it for compensation of the affected personnel rather than business recovery.

Describe the first close friend you made. Is he/she still relevant to your life?

My first close friend is a childhood friend that I met in daycare. The daycare I went to was just the house of an old lady and I don't remember her taking care of many other kid than myself and my childhood friend. He was my only friend for most of my childhood and has been my only close friend trhoughout my childhood until my parents decided we would leave our small town for a bigger city were both of my parents found better job opportunity.

At first, I tried to keep ties with him everytime we went back to my old town where my grandparents still lived but after a year our relationship kinda just faded. Internet wasn't as present back then and neither of us used it so we couldn't keep in contact. It's almost been a decade since I have last seen him so if I were to meet him again I am sure he would have become a completely different person, after all, we weren't even 10 when I left the town.


Did you grow up in a small town or a large city (or anything in between)

I've primarily lived in what's been probably the most crime-ridden ghetto area of the greater local region.

So, gunshots, sirens, fights, car crashes, were all pretty commonplace and easy to see at some point every month or so.

Luckily, we only got burglarized, and though a fair amount of value was stolen (including my precious PS2 that i cried over in the car), we got things back together in due time.

Still, life was pretty rough.

- - -

SQ.

i was born and raised in helsinki, finland's capital and also the biggest city, but tiny in comparison to probably most cities you could think of. also, we lived on the very edge of the city, a very sparsely populated area, right next to another town that was already significantly smaller.

same q

Very small, since Singapore is already a city-state

What would it take for you to take a bullet to save the life of another? It sounds like a weird question, but it came from my Physics teacher who showed us a Netflix documentary after our exams.

To be honest, I don't know.
It would depends on the situation and the person that I'm saving.

Same question.

i wouldn't care; any bullet is dangerous, and i frankly don't care about myself
so it'd take literally nothing for me to take a bullet, i'd just take it

- - - - - - - - - -

favorite ice cream ?

It really depends on the day. My favorites are the good old maple&nut and chocolate, I don't really have a favorite among these two, it really just depends on the day.

What do you think are the "Main flavour" for sweets and desserts?

Chocolate

Yes?

[sample answer]

- - -

In terms of art-styles, do you prefer high-res 2D animation, or high-FPS (30FPS+) pixel animation?

They're both pretty cool. But I think I like 2D animations juuust a little bit more.
They're pretty close though.

Same question.

as tad said, they are both cool.

they both are great in their nature, both are polar opposites if you think about it.

even though i really love 2d animation, i kind of prefer pixel animations over 2d animations.

-

sq

As Tad and penta said, both of them are great if they are used properly. I kind of dislike having to choose among one of two art because no matter what my preference may be, in the end it all depends on how the art is used not on what the art is. I'd say in general I prefer 2d animation but really I wouldn't put one above the other.

What do you think of online personality test?

They're somewhat entertaining if nothing else.
There are things that it gets right and things that it gets wrong.
Guess I'm indifferent towards them.


Same question.

They're entertaining, though not be fully accurate.
If you would really like to learn about yourself, you need to think about yourself. How do you behave? Maybe find, in your conscious, or sub-conscious, why. Looking at yourself would be more accurate than some generalised test.
But there's something fun about Buzzfeed telling me that I'm a 25 year old male blueberry muffin, with no children, who's living in Canada and working as a doctor.

Same question

They can be fun to take at times though I don't believe that what they say is true in the slightest.

Do you think that people should never make decision based on bias.

Absolutely not.

I don't believe every decision should be decided based only on your bias but I don't think you should disregard them either.

--------

Same question.

decisions are technically made by bias all the time.

your mind's bias directs where your decisions go.

for example, a logical bias that appeals to a need for concrete evidence before doing things. this presents you with the tendency to prefer options or make decisions that provide you with more leniency to take a moment and reflect over what you know and don't know.

other times, an ideological one. this could be a commitment to a particular set of ideas you may have agreed with at some point, for whatever reason. this is more commonly referred to when people think of "bias".

sometimes it's emotional. you may have a bias towards letting your anger consume you for a while, as you may believe it gets it out of your system or something, perhaps that helps, and you decided to stick with what worked.

i think it depends on what you mean by bias, but in a general sense, i'd have to say no.

"bias", in its own way, is technically the means to a decision.

- - -

are there things you consciously continue to do despite obvious detriments, out of vanity? if so, what are those things, and what reasons do you speculate may cause that or somewhat justify that in order for you to continue doing that?

ambot wala guro

Magkano isang piraso ng burger patty dyan?

No sé, no he visto hamburguesas de carne individuales, así que no tengo una buena respuesta.

- - -

Achromalia wrote:

are there things you consciously continue to do despite obvious detriments, out of vanity? if so, what are those things, and what reasons do you speculate may cause that or somewhat justify that in order for you to continue doing that?

It would be that I avoid using french, my native language, as much as I possibly can. I actually know the reason for that.

First reason.

I associate french with christianity since the french speaking citizen of Quebec have been under the rule of religion for a long time. This actually scarred the province greatly since the french Canadian didn't have access to good education, only religious one, it made them pretty much slave to the english-speaker who could get actual education and become buinsnessman where as french Canadian could only work low paying job. The scar of the religious past of Quebec are still hurting Quebec, Quebec is currently amoung the poorest province in Canada and though most people don't value christianity much anymore, there is a lot of racism against people of other religion, especially muslim. I also despise religion in general for numerous other reason that I won't list because it would take too much time.

Now for the second and more important reason.

Back when I was younger I used to consume every media (almost exclusively youtube video in my case) in french since I didn't speak any other language. Since France has a much bigger population than Quebec, there is an overwhelming amount of France's french video and French's creator are also much more popular than Quebec's creator on youtube so the french media I was watching was almost entirely made by French.

At some point I realised that I had started to use a lot of French expression in my daily life and much less Quebec expression since I didn't talk to many people and didn't learn Quebec's expression. That realisation made me very angry at myself since I don't consider myself French in the slightest and this also happened during my phase were I was a very partiotic Canadian. I actually don't acknowledge France as the "Motherland that developped Quebec". From what I learned in history Quebec under French rule was misery and Quebec and Canada only started to grow when the British took over.

After this realisation, I stopped watching any french media altogheter and started to only watch english media even if I wasn't good enough to really understand them. This event is actually what led me to learn english and got me more invested in online communities, which is where I found all of my passions.

The first community I got invested in was heartstone. Through heartstone I found about nightcore. From nightcore I discovered the greatness of music in general and got introduced to anime, which led me to start watching anime. Anime has led me to discover a lot about myself and made me find the euphonium. The euphonium revived my interest in band music and got me more interested in every non-lyrical music as well as instruments in general.

It has now been perhaps around 4 or 5 years since I last used french on the internet and though I am not as opposed to use it anymore, I am still very reluctant, in fact everytime I see french a strange sensation that I dislike and can't really explain fill up my body and make me advert my eyes frmo the screen before I adjust to the language. And the quality of my french has decreased in my daily life, I am finding it much harder to express myself in french because I lack a lot of vocabulary (and english's vocabulary is also much wider and complete than french's one)

That turned out to be a lot longer than I planned it to be.
_________________________________________________________________

Are there things you avoid for no good reason?

i'd probably say hygiene. i tend to find it as a pretty big nuisance to maintain my body, and i really only do the minimum i need to survive. i have a terrible habit of neglecting my body altogether as i'm always more interested in something i'm doing, whether it be work concerning music or art, or somethin' else. i forget to piss or even take a shit because i'm stuck all day staring at screens, typing up a storm, cramping up my fingers, and drowning my ears.

man, cyborgs are a lot cooler. they can function and not have to ever process the concept of handling the mess that is the digestive system.

i hardly eat so i'm pretty underweight, and i have a mild iron deficiency, possibly anemia in some mild form as i struggle to exert myself without my heart working insanely hard to keep me going, pretty evident by the numerous times i've collapsed on the track during Physical Ed.

although i don't have much of a problem with showering, i don't take care of my skin as well as i should. i put little effort into cleaning up my face as it's not really a concern to me. it's not like it affects my ability to work.

so yeah. it's something that can go either way with people. some people just simply have to be 100% clean, or look perfectly smooth and neatly groomed, or they just can't go anywhere or do anything. i more or less don't care much about how i look. as long as i'm acceptably clean, then that's fine for me.

- - -

SQ.

all the time; my mental health, i procrastinate, i don't do things until i'm prompted to do them, it's...
it's a lot of stuff.

are you satisfied in life as a whole?

not yet, no.

it's been hell. the only reason why i cling onto it is because i've got shit i want to see. i've got shit i want to do.

although i'm not there yet, even if life is still kinda shitty, i do think there's something to look forward to.

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SQ.

it's hard to say. I've been wasting my life up until 15 years old but these past 4 years I've started to find things that I truly want to follow. I'd say I've only been truly living for 4 years which is not enough for me to say that I do or do not feel satisfied with my life. Though if I were to make an hasteful claim, I'd say yes, especially since I've started to play music.

SQ

Is anyone?

Do you prefer philosophy or psychology?

Philosophy. I really dislike all social science because they don't provide any hard rule that cannot be broken, they just find some trend within a large group of people and there is always a lot of case where these trend don't apply. Philosophy is kinda nice though I don't really like to study other people's philosophy, I mostly try to find an answer on my own.

What do you believe has been the most important period in your life?

Sleep

Sq

august 2016 to august 2019.

i've changed a ton throughout that period of time.

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sq.

Damn, Achro, you've been through a lot. That's amazing, I'm glad you've found something to work on. I hope your irl situation gets better in the future.

I think my life-changing time period was the summer between 9th and 10th grade, which is the summer of 2015, and probably going up to summer of 2016 as well. To explain why, I need to go back to elementary school.

I never learned how to make friends in kindergarten or elementary school. I wanted friends to play with, I really did. But I would always go about it the wrong way: I would chase kids around when they wanted to be left alone, force myself into playground games I wasn't invited to, and generally annoy the hell out of every kid I came across. I would also frequently break down and cry if other kids were being mean to me. I ended up getting bullied daily for this, and because I kept trying to make friends, I would play into anything that anyone said to me. The fact that I went to three different elementary schools didn't help, either; and in every single school I did the same thing. It's as if I wasn't getting the message that this is not the way to make friends.

One week, at the very end of elementary, at the end of my 6th grade year, I had a massive headache at the beginning of the week and I was feeling out of it for the whole week, so I didn't bother anyone at all. I overheard some girls talking about me, and they said, "man, if <john> were always this quiet, he wouldn't be so disgusting to be around." I think that overhearing this was the best thing that happened to me; this was the first big epiphany of my life. From then on out, I decided to stop trying to make friends and stay quiet the whole year (which was only about a month), and sure enough, I stopped getting bullied and started getting ignored. Life was looking up (or so I thought). My family was going to move and I was going to go to a middle school in a different area than my last elementary school, so I wasn't going to see anyone I knew there. It was the perfect chance to try out my new tactic there.

So middle school starts, and as planned, I get ignored. But it turns out being ignored 24/7 can hurt more than being bullied. I kept to myself so much in 7th grade, that by the end of the school year, I regressed in social skills. I couldn't face other people or look anyone in the eyes. But what hurt the most is that deep inside I still wanted to make friends. I thought that somehow, by keeping quiet and not talking to anyone, I was somehow going to make a friend. I still had a little hope that there was still a chance for me to be social. And that never happened, as I learned the hard way. For the two years of middle school, I was pretty much alone. Needless to say, I felt pretty down those two years.

We ended up moving once again to another area and I went to a brand new school for 9th grade; the school was a small charter school. I brought that hope and therefore loneliness over from middle school over to 9th grade, which is nothing new.

It was after 9th grad, the summer between 9th and 10th, that I discovered anime, and most importantly, I discovered WataMote. In case you don't know, WataMote is the story of Kuroki Tomoko; this is her:



Her story is that she is a brand new high school student and she wants to make friends and find a boyfriend; unfortunately, she is very asocial and has trouble even muttering goodbye to her homeroom teacher. However, as the story progresses, she goes on a class trip (as Japanese students usually do) and she somehow comes back with some friends. As you can probably guess, I absolutely found myself in her shoes. That summer, I watched WataMote and read the manga. I read it once that summer, and once more near the middle of 10th grade.

The first time I read it, it actually made me even more sad and pathetic, because I figured that if I copied everything Tomoko did, I would somehow end up with friends just like she did. In 10th grade, I ended up going to Starbucks alone for my birthday, watch anime in public with the speakers up, and generally being awkward with my classmates. After a while, I realized that this wasn't working and decided to read it again.

The second time was truly the second big epiphany of my life. I realized that Tomoko only acquired friends after she stopped caring about not having friends. She only became popular after she stopped becoming popular and was just herself, as cheesy as it sounds. I was halfway through my second year of high school, so it was way too late for me now. I managed to convince my mom to enroll me in the local public school, however; this way, I would get one last chance before I graduated, even if it was just two years.

I told myself to stop caring about being alone and to just be myself; of course, that won't repress that feeling completely, so 11th grade passed by and nothing came out of it. I told myself to not be sad about it, and to not care, but I was sad inside.

However, 12th grade came around and I decided to actually do something. I joined SRLA (a running club where you train to run the LA Marathon) and I had a lot of fun there. And I made my first friend in 6 years during the first semester of 12th grade, and we hung out every day during the second semester, because we had free period together; we used to play Mario Party DS together. I still have him on PSN and talk occasionally.

At the end of 12th grade, I decided to read WataMote one last time. I really had a ball remembering my cringy past (as I am doing now). I stopped reading at the chapter where her third year begins. Here's the page:



I felt that this was a gold stopping point, because we were both starting something new: she was starting her last year of high school, and I was starting my first year of college. If I go back and read it once more, I'll probably get emotional and cry. I think she has a girlfriend now, and if she does it'll probably send me into a spiral of guild and jealousy, so if she does please don't tell me.

Anyway, long story short, I discovered WataMote and it changed my life. I love Tomoko with all my heart for helping me get on the right track <3



TL;DR: I (think I) transitioned from a 3 to a 4 on this chart.



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Same question ^_^

For me, it has been my 4th year of secondary school (equivalent of grade 11). Before that, I didn't have anything that I really wanted to do on my own nor friend with whom I could do things. During that year, first of all, I joined the programming team in my schools robotics team and though I didn't do a lot for the team in that year, I have absolutely loved the experience and it has lead me to pursue programming as a career.

Second, at the time my english skill had improved significantly and I was more at ease at joining english community. The main community I would stick around was the heartstone community. However, there is a community that I found through heartstone that has been an incredibly valuable experience for me and that is the nightcore community.

Before then, I would never listen to music, when I was young I have been lead to believe by the kids around me the music was cringy and I have lived a long part of my life avoiding music to not be cringy, which is one of the greatest mistake I have ever done. When it came to nightcore, it was different. Since nightcore was a form of music specific to the internet, I could listen to it in secret and not feel like it was cringy. It felt so great at the time, it was an incredibly strong feeling of deliverence to finally be able to listen to music after having avoided it for so long. Nighcore introduced me to music in general, which has now grown to be a very important part of my life. Nightcore also introduced me to anime and got me interested in it so when friends in the robotics club told me about anime, I was fully willing to jump in. Anime itself became yet another incredibly important part of my life.

After that, I finally had hobbies. Music, anime and just hanging around internet community. I feel like having those hobbies have been the most valuable things that has ever happened to me.

I personally consider to have been born on that year, since it is at that moment that I really started to do something with my life.

____________________________________

Have you ever avoided something because of social pressure?

Having social anxiety........ Pretty much everything.

Sq

Pretty much.

Pineapple on pizza, abomination or not?

i actually got to try pineapple on pizza this day...

it is in my opinion not really an abomination as i thought it would be. at first i thought that it is this terrifying mixture of a flavor, but when i finally got to taste what i thought would be bad... it is way better than i thought.

sure... it isn't as great as the classic pepperoni pizza, but it definitely one of the most lovable flavours for me...

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do you think you have found your purpose in life? if so, what do you think is your purpose and why do you think this is your purpose?

nope! i find no real purpose, considering that a purpose would imply that some indirect entity imposed an expectation or purpose for which i should fulfill. instead, i live for its own sake. i don't have a good reason to die, so i didn't die. i don't have a whole lot of reasons as to why i should want to live either, but i'm already alive, and... well, i'm too lazy to kill myself at the moment. i just don't really care to.

i just stick around to see how things go, while creating things in hopes that others can live a little more comfortably.

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opinions on the concept of things being "taboo", or NSFW?