Woah dude that was a bit unexpected, I'm just a bit worried that I won't able to respond, if I dont respond on sunday, you'll have to wait till september. There's a slight chance i'll have a pc on the vacation though.Deramok wrote:
took me a while to get to it and another while.. like 8 hours to write
note that a lot of points are meant for multiple occasions of the same issue, i merely didn't point out every single one as for once cbb and it would have gotten a tad long that way
also i'm assuming you can handle the terminology and concept explanations from our short exchanges of words before thiswallhave fun red-walling, hopefully some green can slip in between
- first off is the entire intro which is to me sitll the worst part of the map solely through the choice of objects already, which makes sense since you did say you dind't really change the part since the last message except if i misunderstood that. i'll try to get the point across with more specific examples this time around. 00:00:304 (3,4,5) - these sliders are a bit of a mush of various sound combinations, yet they all seem kind of the same, making no distiction between the different instruments used. 3 is a filler rhythm that can work for both the 1/2 synth and vocal. 4 is the same kind of slider and covers a downbeat bass and the same synth sound as 3. it stands out a bit for having movement which emphasises the downbeat, at this point i assume you follow the synth thing with these sliders. then 5 happens which covers two seperate synth sounds, uses the same kind of movement through being a back and forth as a downbeat that however doesn't exist on this one. it also covers another vocal which i assume is why this one is in the concept of another filler slider? but if it focused on vocals 4 is out of place for playing the same way as 5, which it is too for the sake of the synth. this kind of rhythm is unclear at best to me, i can't make sense of it unless i go and assume it's just a simplification, which by the build of the rest of the map, i doubt. 00:00:990 (9,10,11,1,2,3,4) - it goes on which things like this where the same sounds are covered in vastly differently conceptuated object choices. like 00:00:904 (8,10) - these vocals are just notes withing a regular burst with 10 not even being backed by a synth sound which makes this a very weird mush of things that don't really belong together and makes it be unenticing to play and look at as a result. then the synth after 11 is completely skipped, seemingly at random. especially so if you then have parts like 00:01:504 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) - that can be understood on their own as having a focus on the synth as it conveys that in a structured and unified way. but having notes on just vocals like the previous 10 kills off even that idea. you can think up how this is another, even stronger yet singular example of the same issue 00:04:933 (1,2,3,4) -. you keep the object choices consistent through this first section, but that doesn't make it a better choice. so what this first part needs, is a clearer division, not an easy task with how the song works, but definitely worthwile
- the second section has similar issues but it's more apparent on how they could be fixed as in my example via slider usage. another way that can work in the part is to just skip one part of the instrumentals entirely or only including it sequencially whenever called for in unique segments, as you did with the synth already. 00:11:275 (2,3,4) - starts on a vocal and proceeds with two drum beats. a simple way to do this could be just a 1/4 slider plus a note. it differentiates the two elements quite naturally even if it has one of the drums on a slider end. if having a drum on a slider end is not an option for you options like http://puu.sh/x6BNn/d517f63a34.jpg that bridge gaps can work too, though different slider shapes for different occasions might be recommendable, albeit not a necessity. similar structures carry out thoughout this section as well. btw i don't understand why this needs to be a slider 00:20:361 (5) -
- the main thing to go on about in the next part is yet again a rhythmical one. the first two tripples make it quite apparent how they're on the sharp synth sounds. but then 00:23:104 (8,1) - already skips one but adds a note on the downbeat, which does not contain one instead. so as a result that rhythm that i'm supposed to be following doesn't even come to use, where it's the most interesting. 00:23:104 (8,1,2,3) - actually features two doubles with a left out downbeat. now many will bring the argument of how important that note is because it is said downbeat, i'd differ on that opinion. a downbeat such as this, which doesn't mark any transition with fro example cymbal crashes in other songs, but just a bass kick that comes up every half a meassure is just more of a means to be a metronome and rhythm keeper to the song. it's a supporting element to the melody that is formed by the sharp synth and the other building synth that is still in the background at this point. so skipping the note before it and then mapping the downbeat itself (as part of a tripple stack that muddles said downbeat and the second double together, which to me is also repelling as described earlier) just takes away anything of interest about the part other than the occasional focus shifts of the nature of 00:24:133 (1,2,1,2) - (which btw should have their spacing inverted due to pitches correlating to intensity and thus spacing). furthermore it makes it ambiguous on what is being followed in the first place. the slider usage could be different with that in mind too, but i can appreciate the current usage of them with snares in this part, so i won't outright complain about that. smaller things like 00:27:047 (2,1,2,3,4,1,2,3) - also occur where you start a quint in the middle of what is actually a 6 note burst starting on two which i can only explain by assuming you tried using the same focus shift as with the 2on2 jumps, just that you map the sharp synth anyway, but just starting in the middle of it. also here i appreciate the differentiation on the downbeat, but it's misleading to me anyway because the note itself still plays like the sharp synth notes before it while the same sharp synths after it are what plays differently while they'd logically be the same again, but this is a minor thing.
- 00:33:047 (1,2,1,2,1) - the spacing on these is messed up especially if you compare it to it's counterpart of 00:35:790 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - by which there 00:36:819 (1) - also doesn't fit in quite well. on the jump parts in general i'll reinforce what others have said already, it lacks a clear structure, or construction rather. a clear structure only makes a part boring if the structure and it's idea and execution are boring, so "structuring them perfectly and accordingly will result in a rather boring map" is not an excuse to me. by which "perfectly and accordingly" is ofc more of an overstatement as things have their leniency if you want to construct them in such a fashion. so this means to work with overarcing shaps and constructions like gradual or constant angle or spacing changes between sections of a pattern or following a geometrical form, reusing positions or connecting each section of a pattern in a certain way that you are free to chose. you somewhat do it with the in- and decrease of spacing of each jump and 00:38:875 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - . what all this does is making the map look more organized, less messy and more enticing to look at. hopefully you get the point.
all things concidered though, a certain amount is there, but in seperate ways taking 00:33:047 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - as an example; it keeps up a direction of circular back and forth movement with thefirst three pairs (though purple one kind of goes against that already), forming a set of two trinagles the notes alternate between, which is a fairly cool idea, while the descending part is in a less flowy but more crumbling fashion with it's direction changes and forming a thape of two semi-parallel pairs of three again. though the connection between the two is improvable. nice conept.. if they were intentional, which i hope, which however is not seen again in the other iterations in any form. the second pattern has a sort of hexagonal thing going on within it, but it doesn't look to have more to it than that sadly. this puts a dent in the parts coherency with itself and the flow structure as result as well beond the visual aspects. maybe it was pointless to go into detail on those two specific examples to make things clearer, but i tried.- 00:41:961 (1) - why is this split necessary. especially with 00:41:618 (5,5) - being just regular turning points in a coherent stream it doesn't strike me as a good idea to map a split which goes on the same drum beat, the same cymbals and the same kind of synth climax as the other notes. even if it's the turning point from increasing to decreasing pitches of the synth, this is overemphasised imo and might just as well be a regular, maybe sharp, but definitely coherent stream turn. atm it just looks like you did it that way due to running out of space to the side, which i won't dare accusing you of though as i might be missing any intention, but in that case it would be simple to just move the entire stream and linked objects after it, maybe with a little rotation, to the right since it's a seperated entity from it's surroundings
- 00:48:904 (4,6) - i don't know why these are a thing after you even skip the synths the entire thing. this just takes away from the transitioning vocals you've been building the part around. it just adds some out of place rhythm density.
- 00:50:190 (3) - i'd just use two notes instead as they are two distinct vocals (that aren't even ve syllables). doesn't really increase activity density noticably and even decreases rhythm density if that's a concern of yours. i don't know why you'd use a repeat in the first place either as the end of it doesn't carry any significance aside being.. a filler, which i don't think is fitting with a low density part in either
- in turn things like 00:50:704 (1,2) - could just be a 1/1 slider for slight alerations of the reasons in the previous point
- 00:56:533 (1,2,3) - even if you come with the argument of "variety".. this is just overmapped in every sense of the term. there isn't even any of the sharp synths that make up al the 1/4 rhythms in the section on that 2. a simple contrast pattern does the job just as well without overmapping and artificial attention grabbing
- 00:58:761 (2,3) - a little flow thing; it's nice how 00:54:990 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3) - share a direction and feel like a reiterating unit, which certainly fits with the vocals. but 00:58:590 (1,2,3) - puts that concept to waste as it just breaks the angular momentum in a similar part, which could easily be avoided with something as simple as a turn around in the fashion of http://puu.sh/x6OkF/d0cf6fa81f.jpg , ofc with the minor adjustments of the objects after it
- 00:59:961 (2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4) - whith these you try to incorporate the sharp synth again, which is a good idea to build up tension again, but it comes off as arbitrary if you shortly after pull things like on 01:01:675 (1,3,7,1,2) - . it is also weird how you remove most of that again in the next part except for some that are overmapped in the same fashion as the one from two points ago. on the part of 01:11:447 (1) - it gets a bit better because they are more recognisable as just fillers between the vocals that are mapped in a clear way on sliders (except for the repeat again01:12:133 (4) - )
- 01:18:990 (1,2) - could be a tripple since you do focus on the drums a lot as well
- 01:24:304 (4,1) - should be a tripple since the part exclusively focuses on the drum (good example of a structured pattern btw 01:22:418 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1) - albeit the first one doesn't connect with the latter two and those two only have one reused position connecting them as well, but the splits are comprehensible and have some degree of connection and overall structure, even if it's a basic one)
- 01:25:161 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3) - two things with this stream aside of the idea of the decreasing angle being interesting if it weren't broken by both of the last ones being straight rather than just the last one. why is the spacing decreasing? it's the same drum hit throughout and the building pitch is increasing rather than decreasing and also doesn't really do anything more special for the last three notes to justify them being highly spaced again in contrast. it's a nice contrast idea, but it doesn't represent the song. secondly 01:25:761 (4,4) - are overmapped
- 01:28:590 (1,2,3) - the sliders seem like they are starting too early for the electronic sounds. while the first one has a drum supporting it, it becomes apparent with the second one starting on nothing while ending on the sound and also being preceeded by an unmapped one. gonna be hard to cover everything properly on this but the current version doesn't make much sense to me. something like http://puu.sh/x7oMh/0986a57609.jpg comes about the closest to it without skipping instruments, which might be the preferable option nonetheless
- 01:29:961 (1) - this would be a great place for a split stream as the sound you're covering is a momentary one and the the ones you have the burst on continues right over it. on the same note it would make sense to twist 01:30:218 (3,4) - apart from the burst as they're of the same kind and stand out from the ones making up the stream and the current version takes away from taht distinction even more by adding just one note before it.
- 01:31:904 (5) - why a repeat
- 01:36:133 (1) - might want to make it into a note plus a 1/3 slider as the 1/3 sound only picks up at where the repeat arrow is now. current version overgoes that and is thus misrepresentative
- 01:36:990 (2) - either map al of this sound or just skip it. as it is, it's confusing. having that slider there implies you'd follow it only to then not do so one object and a gap later. i see how you want to capture the bass hits on the next 1, but there are better ways to go about it by either filling or skipping the 1/3 thing. skipping is probably the better option as you do so with the following objects as well
- 01:47:104 (1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2) - a decent way of handling it as is and it's befitting to the map as well. i'll just mention how this would be a good place to use contrasts for future reference as i've seen some other mods have talked about it as well in regard of how just everything has high spacing.
- 01:50:533 (5) - what makes this more special than the other vocals i wonder. there ought to be something since its a slider, but i don't see it. if it's the the backgrund synth thing that peaks in pitch there, it's still a distinct sound and has no reason to be extended on imo
- 01:51:047 (7,1) - how about making a slider out of these as they just sort of feel like jump spam atm while they could be emphasising a longer vocal instead. if the down beat is still a concern to you after what i said earlier, i guess that's that.. unfortunate
- 01:53:275 (3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4) - about all these 1/4 bits in this part.. i can't figure them out. you seem to just throw them in and skip every now and then, differing even within the same sets, and i don't see a system behind it. doesn't really work with consistent vocal sliders either
- 02:16:590 (6) - would ctrl g for a more rounded flow as it currently breaks momentum and i'm not sure if that is in your interest
- 02:21:047 (4) - also concider flipping that one on it's straight axis for similar reasons
- 02:23:961 (9) - 02:25:161 (7) - ?? no matter how many times i listen to it i can't hear any 1/8 and the buzz is omni-present in the part anyway
- 02:27:390 (4,5,6,7) - the start of 6 isn't on any particular beat and even less so resembling of 4. you missed a note in between instead of the instrument you usually map through this part though so i assume you might just have have overheard it (also missing one between 02:28:075 (8,1) - which would serve as a good transition as well)
- 02:28:247 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - nice construct but the spacing seems random
- 02:30:133 (2,1) - 02:30:818 (2,1) - along with a possible tripple here you could have used some accents on vocals to make this whole build part less stagnant
- 02:33:475 (3,4) - ctrl g to actually capture the impact of the snare
- 02:35:070 (1) - also this one could profit of a simple crtl g as it plays with the same impact as the previous sliders atm
- 02:35:447 (3,4) - changing this into another set of 1/3 sliders would come off as less arbitrary in sound change as you focused those over vocals before as well. especially since the current things plays on sounds that you skipped in the beginning of the very same meassure and you don't have a focus on teh vocals anyway. a change like that could further profit of a removal of 02:35:790 (1) - since the main sound the stream follows starts a tick later in correlation to just those sounds
- 02:36:475 (1) - different sounds, but it's the same occasion as with the previous set of two repeats. the first one starts too early and shouldn't be a repeat
- 02:38:533 (6) - having a gap after this makes this play really weirdly as it does not follow the sounds that make up the foreground 1/4. so the tick after it takes another note. i myself would work around it so current 6 isn't a clickable in either the form of a gap or a slider end
- 02:43:333 (1,2,3,4) - only three is different in terms of it having a different drum hit on it (also with a vocal on it). one can stay a single as it doesn't have the electro sound but two i'd make into a slider with the same position as current 2, matching up in direction with the other sliders. on top a change of direction on 3, perhaps with a simple ctrl g could give credit to the different hits as well. would just perhaps need some readjusting on the following tripple
- 02:49:504 (1,2) - they are completely different sounds from what makes up the rest of the stream and should not connect them along with the surrounding notes into the same entity, certainly not with the same spacing and shape as the following two notes, it's just muddling, which is always unpleasant
- 03:57:304 (8,1) - i can't imagine a linear split playing well in a map like this , it's unprecedented and nothing about the music is unique enough to call for something like this. a split in general is alright, even if i'd personally still not recommend it, but the way this one is executed is highly disagreeable.
- 04:00:818 (1,2,3,4,1) - just a curve that is dented by a just about noticable amount
- 04:02:961 (8,1) - the tripples in this part seems pretty random to me. the first one makes sense as the first note isn't an electric one and being on a sliderend with that. but then the second one has an actual note in the same stack. furthermore.. there's so many tripples that are upright skipped while they sounds virtually the same and are not hindered by any other focus you are taking
- 04:06:990 (1,2,3) - i don't like the repetition of these. they feel spammy. reason being that they completely ignore the vocals that make up the melody except with minor spacing differences if that is even intentional, which doesn't really do much anyway either though since contrast isn't a thing in this part. the sharp electric sounds are also skipped completely and instead a simple, metronome like background kick-snare rhythm is in focus.
- 04:23:447 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - spacing is not on pitch (mainly just the third pair in each iteration)
ah, and you don't need to mod my other map, i might have one that is more in need of regular mods in the nearish future instead. i'll message you about that if it happens and if you even do tickety stuff
For mismagius, i'll have a reply ready on sunday, will apply maybe one suggestion. And will also add a bit of a small followup to my mod on your map.