Dawnsday wrote:

I'm still interested in how Sophia picks up girls honestly.

I don't.

An interesting development

@Sophia How do you pick up guys then? Or how do you get picked up? Would be cool if you could share your relationship advice to me..

@Dawnsday You've asked me about my traits and how I am as a person, what now? A guy with my traits, hobbies and views and what not how do you think i should get over my fear? How do you talk to women?

this is a rhythm game site

not a dating site

@ColdTooth Yeah i know, it is off topic from the game. Nice that there was an off-topic part of the forum.

ColdTooth wrote:

this is a rhythm game site

not a dating site

But you are now in a forum not in the game

Blitzfrog wrote:

ColdTooth wrote:

this is a rhythm game site

not a dating sitean attention seeking site

ty blitz for correcting me

Honestly I'm not the best person to ask for dating tips as I'm currently single (wew) but I mean I just talk to everyone as if I've known them my entire life. I say stupid stuff, I tell them jokes, I do whatever I'd do with my best buddies, It's all just about confidence, the longer you sit and worry about fuckin up a conversation with a girl the more likely is that girl will find someone with more confidence.

Dawnsday wrote:

Honestly I'm not the best person to ask for dating tips as I'm currently single (wew) but I mean I just talk to everyone as if I've known them my entire life. I say stupid stuff, I tell them jokes, I do whatever I'd do with my best buddies, It's all just about confidence, the longer you sit and worry about fuckin up a conversation with a girl the more likely is that girl will find someone with more confidence.

Dawnsday just said something useful, am I high?

Blitzfrog wrote:

Dawnsday just said something useful, am I high?

Sorry for that.

I am going to visit campus tomorrow and really do a good attempt at talking to a girl, even if it is the cashier at the local store where i buy my morning coffee.. I am going to try build up the courage to atleast exchange a couple sentenes with a girl..

@Dawnsday I do not think i can just talk to someone as I've known them for my entire life.. I will try approaching this with one small step at the time.. What do you think about that?

Sure thing bud, just at least try I guess?

You seem scared about the concept of sustained conversations so I'd just suggest making small talk at first. Then work your way up to building a friendship with this girl :d

@Dawnsday Yeah you might be right, i will try to find a girl tomorrow that i can just practice talking with. I will try to just small talk and tomorrow try to make a detailed post about how it went.

OP WE NEED A PHOTO OF YOU

@lol I don't know if I am comfortable posting a photo of me in this thread.. Maybe through PM.

Dawnsday wrote:

but I mean I just talk to everyone as if I've known them my entire life. I say stupid stuff, I tell them jokes

Pretty much that ^ be you but don't throw a whole bucket of water at them.

2017-02-23 The First Attempt
Last night i was playing a bit of osu and the user Sophia that have replied to this thread before messages me curious if I'm just not able to talk with girls or is it that I can't write to them as well.. I said that it is both and this very nice person tries to help me by chatting a little bit which was really nice.. Anyway I was totally awkward even through text and I fucked up the conversation looking like a complete idiot by the end of it. If you read this Sophia i appologise for that.. Right now it feels like I'm fucking up a lot even though I'm just trying to be nice and make friends..

Anyway as i promised i went to campus today with the goal to talk to a girl.. Atleast exchange a few words using the good advice I've recieved. When i came to the university i sat down inside by a table alone for about 45 minutes trying to build up the confidence to try to talk to the cashier when i buy my morning coffee. I really wanted to go through with my goal but my mind told me that i would just embarrass myself if i would. Anyway after those 45 minutes i went into the the store, picked up my coffee and went to the cashier.. She looked at me and said.. "Hello, anything else?" and i got totally off track and only managed to stutter the word "No".. I'm shaking while handing her the money and i get totally paniced because not only did i stutter i also didn't manage to follow through with my plan to talk with her. I walk back to the table were I sat before I went to the store.. It was still vacant.. I sat down trying to take deep breaths and calm down after what happend.. The lecture was in 2 hours so I had time to just try relax. At this time it felt that my confidense took a really good hit, it almost felt like I had some kind of disease not letting me speak to girls. I sit there for those 2 whole hours just battling the bad thoughts, the lecture starts and I walk to the lecture room and while walking it struck me that I actually set up a goal for today and the day is not over.. I still have time to try talk with a girl.. I sit down in the lecture room and I'm thinking of this the entire time during the lecture, can I try speak with someone from my class? What if i mess it up, will the entire class make fun of me? There must have been atleast 100 questions making it through my mind that lecture but I've built up enough confidense to make a second attempt. The lecture ends and while walking out I am trying to find someone I can approach and try speak to and i find this cute girl, short, brown hair and blue eyes who is standing alone and I know attends the same lectures as me. I decided to walk up to her and ask if she knew when the homework was due and when i asked her she looks up to me and gives me the warmest smile I've ever seen in my entire life which made me stutter the sentence A LOT, she said she didn't know.. I tried coming up with another question to make small talk.. I didn't know what to ask so i thought i should try talk about something we had in common.. I asked her how she liked school, i stuttered less this time.. She answered that she likes it and asked me a question about our current assignment in programming which I knw but then I started looking at her smile again and completly locked up.. It was like my whole brain just shut off and I just didn't know what to say, there must have been like 20 seconds of silence of me just looking like a complete IDIOT.. By this time I'm having the worst panic I've ever had and i just squeeze out "Sorry.. I forgot what I was about to say".. She laughed a bit which now afterwards makes me think that it wasn't so bad but at the time it made me panic even more and I quickly also said that I had to go and I walked really fast out the building like next to running.. It was soo bad.. I almost felt sick when I got outside the building, what am i doing? Why can't I just keep such an easy conversation going? Anyway i fulfilled my goal for today and talked a little bit to a girl but can I even return to class? Did i make a total fool of myself?

TLDR: Made two attempts to speak with girls, first fails and second i exchange two questions then panics and basically run out the building..

I tried explaining the day as detailed as i could, if you have questions, suggestions, advice or any comments please do tell me.. I feel pretty bad today
Also I want to thank everyone which has sent me supportive PM's with advice and cheerfull messages! It helps a lot.

I canbeur gf

>Weeb site
>Weeb site for a weeb game
>Goes to off-topic on forums of weeb site
>Asks for girlfriend on the forums

Word of advice do not ask on non-dating sites, unless you are asking close friends in PM. On top of it don't seek out people on osu! unless you really connect to someone over a long period of time. Here are the listed reasons why:

> People don't come here to get laid
> People don't come here to get laid
> People don't come here to get laid

It's a weeb game. A game m8

Holy shit I take back anything bad I've ever said about you. I see you're actually trying and making a difference for yourself, and I sincerely congratulate you on it. Let me give you some advice and a personal story.

When I was in middle school I had the same problem as you, only worse: I could not approach anyone, regardless of gender. I got lucky when a girl actually approached me and I now had someone to talk to (she said she was gay though, which sucked). One thing she taught me that has stuck with me and will always stick with me is this: "You can't be happy if you're always worried." I thought about it, and slowly she taught me to not think about my image; in other words, she taught me to not give a shit. We split ways, but her lesson is still significant to me.

Keep doing what you're doing, it's definitely working. But just remember that you can always try again, and that you shouldn't let the fear of failing keep you from trying in the first place.

Also take my advice with a grain of salt; I'm still not 100% sure about it.

By the way, this is probably the best thread in OT since "List of Mapping Drama"

Shota wrote:

>Weeb site
>Weeb site for a weeb game
>Goes to off-topic on forums of weeb site
>Asks for girlfriend on the forums

Word of advice do not ask on non-dating sites, unless you are asking close friends in PM. On top of it don't seek out people on osu! unless you really connect to someone over a long period of time. Here are the listed reasons why:

> People don't come here to get laid
> People don't come here to get laid
> People don't come here to get laid

It's a weeb game. A game m8

Dude, shut up. Did you even read the thread at all? No, you just saw the title. OP already explained himself that he's not looking for a girlfriend HERE. He just wants advice on how to talk to girls.

OP, just know that the problem that you have is not uncommon at all. I know this advice sounds easier than done, but when you talk to a girl, try not to think too much about her gender when you do. Just focus on talking to her. Don't get depressed if she looks like she's losing interest. Don't get mad when she does something you didn't expect her to do. Just know that you made some progress today, and that's all good.

@Zain Sugieres Thanks for the offer but I think it is too early for that.. Prehaps we could try chat a bit or play osu together.. I need to practice talking I think..

@Shota You and me have different points of view on the matter, the majority on this forum might be weebs and I do not know anyone here but since I am new I can make new friends and meet new people without using my real life identity, this helps me in the way that I feel at least a bit less frightened when expressing myself. I do have very good friends in real life which probably I could talk out with and try give me advice about my problem but I do not want their image of me to change, now don't get me wrong theese are really good friends and would still respect me but i do not want to give up a good time hanging with the boys just for talking about a problem I have which is making me a bit sad.. It would bring down the mood etc.. Its hard to explain.. Other than that this is a really nice community and I have already started to make new friends..

@johnmedina999 It makes me very happy to read your message, thank you! Your story is touching and the thing your friend taught you is very true. I have heard a similar statement from one of my very good friends which was something like: "To be happy in a relationship or with other people you first have to be happy with yourself" which I've been living by for quite some time.. Thank you very much for your kind words, theese are the types of posts which makes me wana keep fighting!

@Foxtrot Thank you for this comforting message, I really did try acting like I did not care about the girls gender when I talked today but it is soo easy to slip in my mind and get a flashback of bad moments from the past.. Thank you for this advice i will try to first focus on actually being able to talk and not if the other person is 100% interested or not.. And ofcourse I wont get mad, I think I am a pretty understanding person.. It is me who is not "acting like expected".. Thank you very much for saying that I made progress, at first I felt like today was another loss but it might not have been..

Tomorrow I am going to my friends partying and then we're going to visit a club.. I do not know if I should set up any goals for tomorrow.. If I should what would they be? What would be the next step for me? Should I just make another attempt to speak with someone like I did today?

I'm proud of you

@Dawnsday Thank you very much, It really does mean a lot with all this support. Also what do you think I should do to procede? Also if you read my todays encounter what do you think of it was it as bad as my mind tells me it is?

Honestly for what seems to be your first attempt at sustaining a conversation after you realized you had this uh, social anxiety? It went pretty good, I'm pretty sure people here had you pinned for worse things (not that they're any better since OT is largely filled up with social rejects.)

Anyway I guess now might be a good time to mention I'm also a native swede (living in UK atm however.) Where abouts in Sweden do you live (you don't have to give a town/city if you don't want to, it's just helpful as there is notable differences in how you can make approaches across the country.)

Ignoring that, I'd say take the chance tomorrow, Go to the party/club, these social gatherings make an EXCELLENT practicing ground; mostly because, it's not likely you'll see any of these people ever again (the random girls :p), so you can try out anything on them and see where your groove is. I personally had a job at a bar recently where I performed stand-up comedy every Friday. This was pretty good to help me test out my own social skills, so just make conversation, if you feel you've messed your chances up, just excuse yourself and move on to another girl.

Anyway I think I covered everything here, I'm pretty tired e.e

Well I think you should read:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxi ... phobia.htm
A

And

https://psychcentral.com/lib/6-ways-to- ... l-anxiety/

Social anxiety isn't something you can get over in a week, it takes years to overcome. Sorry I can only link you to stuff cus I am under no circumstances, an expert in this area

Do this and maybe people will think you're unique.

ColdTooth wrote:

Do this and maybe people will think you're unique.

Who needs to learn how to talk to girls or look for girls when you can do this. It'll make their pants fall off NO J O K E

Shota wrote:

ColdTooth wrote:

Do this and maybe people will think you're unique.

Who needs to learn how to talk to girls or look for girls when you can do this. It'll make their pants fall off NO J O K E

who needs girls when you can have boys (no homo)

- Flutter - wrote:

who needs girls when you can have boys (no homo)

:^) Flutter gets it. I'd pick Bois over girls any day man but, (no homo) just bros

- Flutter - wrote:

who needs girls when you can have boys (no homo)

im gay

ColdTooth wrote:

- Flutter - wrote:

who needs girls when you can have boys (no homo)

im gay

same tbh (no homo tho)

- Flutter - wrote:

ColdTooth wrote:

im gay

same tbh (no homo tho)

teach me how to ctb ; ))))

I'd do a guy if he asked. (No homo)

ColdTooth wrote:

teach me how to ctb ; ))))

sure hmu bro, as long as we can do erp from time to time (no home again, please don't think that pls pls pls)

Shota wrote:

I'd do a guy if he asked. (No homo)

same dude, i completely agree (no homo)