00:09:632 (1,2,3,4) - if you're aim is to follow the vocals, moving that note 00:10:105 (3) - here -> 00:09:790 - works better considering the 3 first vocals note are stronger the the 3 last one.
though, if you do so, you may also want to remove that note 00:09:158 (24) - as it clearly lower the impact of the next pattern.
01:15:316 (20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28) - I'd highly suggest to reduce the lenght of this 1/2 patterns.
It does in fact follow the vocal pretty well, but if you consider those 2 patterns 01:17:843 (32,33,34,35,36,37,38) - 01:19:106 (39,40,41,42,43,44,45) - ; both patterns are shorter than 01:15:316 (20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28) - ; reducing the build up impact.
Removing a note would work pretty fine, would say that one work the best 01:16:105 (25) - . But any note would do as long as the pattern is five 1/2 max.
01:28:263 - from 01:31:737 - I kinda get why you'd map every 1/2 but even if there's nothing complex, that's still quite a loong pattern. Would say that it contrast too much with part before and after, so would highly suggest to separate your build up in 2 part with at least a 1/1 break.
removing that note 01:29:368 (98) - is probably the best place to put a 1/1 break