In 00:15:710 - 00:24:180 I feel like there's a lot of missed opportunities to focus on the e-piano a bit more to make the rhythm more interesting for example by mapping the blue tick between 00:16:416 (3,4), 00:17:828 (5,6), 00:19:239 (4,5) etc.
btw, I think it is fine to ignore it in places like 00:17:475 (3,4) in favour of focusing on the clearly thought out patterns follwing the vocals.
Your spacing seems kinda inted in some places, most notably 00:15:710 - 00:25:239 and the first kiai.
for example 00:16:239 (2,3) or 00:20:828 (4,1) have an unreasonably large gap while patterns like 00:19:945 (1,2,3) could be highlighted so much more with how the vocals go up there.
For the kiai examples of emphasis that seems just wrong would be 00:19:945 (1,2,3) (why is the emphasis on the 3, when both 1&2 should arguably be more intense), 00:44:298 (2,3) (could go much crazier on the 3 here, vocals are peaking).
By no means a comprehensive list of the issues but just the most glaring examples that you can find at a glimpse. I'd recommend going over both sections again to check for these odd spacing choices where they don't properly represent what the song is doing