03:31:480 to 03:33:389 looks nice but I think it doesn't represent the song that well - I personally think those two sounds 03:31:480 (211480|0,211480|2,211480|1,211480|3,211616|2,211616|0) - are of equal weight, but even if you don't, you can't deny that these two 03:31:616 (211616|0,211616|2,211753|3,211753|1) - are not equal in intensity.
(and same thing happens a little later)
02:47:108 (167108|3,167108|2) - listening to this fill, I don't think there's a percussion sound in here to make this a jump (or a minijack for the matter) I would personally either leave it blank or put a single note on col 2
02:24:826 (144826|2,144850|3) - flip this to 43 instead of 34 for symmetry within this whole pattern? 02:24:753 (144753|3,144753|2,144777|1,144802|0,144826|2,144850|3,144898|1,144947|0,145011|2,145076|1,145140|3,145205|1,145269|2,145334|0,145382|1,145431|2,145455|3,145479|0,145503|1,145527|3,145527|2) -
I think the section starting at 00:31:564 is a little easy compared to the next one at 00:41:670? The musical content doesn't change that drastically between them, the most focal elements remain unchanged (kick pattern and deep bass). I think you could smoothen the transition between these sections by placing gradually more and more notes to represent the melody that slowly fades in during this section.
05:05:368 (305368|0,305390|1,305413|2,305436|3,305459|0,305481|1,305504|2,305527|3,305550|0,305572|1) - I think this is kind of overkill given how fast this is. Left hand especially. It's a quad jack on the equivalent of 165bpm 1/4 right into a minijack at 220bpm 1/4.
And, if you care about that at all, removing this pattern entirely and replacing it with nothing would make the sr go down by only 0.07.
I'd suggest replacing it with a 1/6 burst that leaves a little bit of room for the leftmost column for a smoother transition into the minijack. Something like this perhaps? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/19539269/48a3
04:47:000 (287000|0,287000|1,287071|0,287143|1,287214|1,287285|0,287381|1,287428|0,287500|0) -
consider mirroring this section so that the third minijack lands on the right hand instead - currently there are 3 minijacks in a row on the left hand and a calm part for the right
context for the first timestamp is Evening's map that inspired this one https://osu.ppy.sh/beatmapsets/1670397#mania/3411675
I'll be fixing both timestamps though (the second one is a result of a minor inconsistency as well)