Proluvies ("abyssum oblivionis" Long ver.)

00:04:791 - imo this is a bit too light for the sound. and especially on the expression of the weird sound effect.

i was kinda hoping we could use a triple with a bit more added expression like this

00:19:606 (19606|0,19791|3) - suggest sequence col 4>1 instead of 1>4 :would provide better representation for pitch change, personally i'd make the ln end snapped earlier so that theres a bit of release impact that would emphasize the sudden change in pitch sequence; but thats just my mapping style~

00:21:643 (21643|3) - i think the single LN here doesn't emphasize the intensity of the growl enough, consider making this a double LN?

00:28:217 (28217|1,28309|1) - this doesn't align with the previous instance of this pattern

00:33:263 (33263|1,33402|1,33541|1,33680|1) - not sure how intentional it is but personally i didnt like the column strain.

i think moving 00:33:402 (33402|1) - over to col 4 could help with the balance

I don't really see the reason for the trilly motions at 00:43:680 (43680|2,43742|1,43803|2,43865|1,43927|3,43988|2,44050|3) considering other bursts like this starting at 00:40:346 or 00:49:235 etc don't have it

00:52:630 (52630|2,52692|1,52754|2,52816|1) - same here, and this example is also a problem because this trill goes right into a longer tougher one so it risks overstraining the fingers for players at this level (and overemphasizing this particular sound)

00:45:346 (45346|0,45370|1) - I don't really see why this is LN and why it's a grace

00:46:375 (46375|2) - this should be 1/4 snapped along with the rest in this burst

00:46:890 (46890|1,46890|0,46951|2,47013|3,47013|1) - seems inconsistent with 00:40:964 (40964|0,40964|1,41026|2,41026|3,41087|1,41087|0) -

00:48:319 (48319|2,48319|0,48389|1) - is there any valid reason for this?
you can't even place 00:48:389 (48389|1) - without changing the bpm/.osu manipulation

00:51:159 (51159|0,51190|3,51221|2,51282|0,51282|1,51329|2,51375|3,51421|0) - shouldn't these share the same snaps?

00:51:643 (51643|2,51735|0,51735|1,51782|2,51874|1,51921|2,51921|0,52013|2,52013|1) - quite the bias here, consider spreading them out more evenly

00:53:495 (53495|0,53495|1) - sounds about the same as 00:52:939 (52939|1,52939|0,53001|2,53063|1,53124|2,53186|1,53217|2), should add the trill for the sake of consistency

00:59:153 (59153|0,59153|3) - why is one of these not a 1/8 LN?

00:59:421 (59421|3,59482|2,59544|1,59606|2,59667|1,59698|0,59698|2,59791|1,59791|3,59791|0,59853|2,59914|3) - I think this is worth addressing - I think it's a bit spiky because while the 2-3 trill is already very demanding, it also draws the player to play 00:59:667 (59667|1,59698|0) like a stream as opposed to manipping it as a [12] jump, which makes 00:59:667 (59667|1,59698|0,59791|0,59791|1) - this motion very difficult (specifically because of the speed of the trill)

00:59:421 (59421|0,59482|1) - maybe could ctrl+G these to give some more space cuz col 2 is a bit cramped imo

00:59:544 (59544|1,59606|1) - im not sure if this was like this during my first check but this is pretty wacky. 1/6 minijack at 162bpm is like dummy fast. i think removing 00:59:544 (59544|1) - would be good at the very least

01:02:569 - i was thinking it would be cool to do a jack thing here, i think it would give a more accurate feeling for the drum , i think the current pattern plays a little empty

this is what i mean

also the sound at 01:03:680 - could have a different expression in order to separate it from the LN's just before. the sound is really different so using the same single LN i think doesnt do it justice.

like this or something

01:05:624 (65624|1,65655|2,65686|3,65717|2) - seems a bit unnecessary with that minijack, can't hear any repeating sound justifying it

01:12:877 (72877|1,72939|0,72985|1,73032|0) - Considering this is at 324bpm, I'm not sure if this isn't spiky. Personally I found it very difficult to hit consistently which made me lose balance towards the rest of the stream and make a ton of misses/bad acc.

01:26:828 (86828|3,86859|2,86890|1,86921|2,86951|3) - this is definitely overkill here, spread them out a bit more

01:27:291 (87291|2) - consider ending this LN 1/8 earlier, sound ends there

01:36:458 - until 01:38:865 -
the pattern feels really weak here for such a dramatic build up imo
not saying you have to increase density, but a bit more technically demanding pattern would be nice

like this (kinda hard for me to fit it all in one screenshot ;-;)

01:38:587 (98587|0,98587|3,98587|2) - this is a triple but 01:37:198 (97198|3,97198|0) - , 01:37:939 (97939|0,97939|3,98309|3,98309|0) - are doubles?

01:40:511 (100511|3) - thats 1/8

01:40:902 (100902|0,100995|1,101087|0,101134|1,101272|0,101365|1,101458|0,101519|1,101643|0,101705|1,101828|0,101828|1) - careful now, left hand bias

01:43:958 (103958|2,104050|2,104189|2,104328|2) - a bit overkill here

01:45:254 (105254|2,105254|3,105300|3,105300|2) - i'm fairly certain this is a terrible idea, consider using 12 34 12 instead

01:48:289 (108289|3) - why is this not just 1/8

01:52:198 - (theres a few parts in this section)

firstly i think the stream kinda falls flat here by stopping and changing to such a low density, the synth sound from 01:51:828 - is still going, so to stop halfway is a bit off for me.

could also think about getting a bit more technically demanding pattern here

pattern suggestion:

also, i think there could be an added LN at 01:53:217 - for the sound

and i think we could do more with 01:54:235 - , there are sounds at both 01:54:328 - and 01:54:513 - and im pretty sure 01:54:143 - is 1/8 stream sound

01:56:550 (116550|2,116643|3,116643|0,116735|2,116735|0,116828|3,116828|2,116921|3,116921|0,117013|2,117106|1,117106|0,117152|2,117198|0,117198|3,117291|3,117291|2,117384|0,117384|1) - This pattern seems to overstrain the right hand and for some reason almost completely abandon the 2nd column, very unbalanced and plays very differently than most of the chart

01:57:198 (117198|3,117291|3,117384|3) - seems a bit overkill too, try to maximize this to 2 jacks

Neat suggestion for 02:00:439 (120439|1,120439|0,120532|2,120624|2,120624|3,120717|1,120809|2,120902|1,120902|0,120995|2,121087|3,121087|1), consider this screenshot: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/18435709/8369
Reasoning is as follows:

• Each kick has a physical emphasis because it starts with the minijack
• BASS lengths are consistent now (the last staggered release at 02:00:902 (120902|1) is only 1/4 long in the song)

02:01:458 (121458|2) - huge only a suggestion thing but you could map the bass in the bg with LNs here to keep the flow going?

02:04:189 (124189|3,124451|2) - is there any particular reason why theres LNs here and why its so long?

what do you think about a more technical LN pattern at both 02:06:272 - and 02:08:217 - for more expression

02:11:643 (131643|3) - would suggest making this a double or an LN grace of some sort to provide the needed emphasis for the vocal chop

02:20:727 - me when i bass kick also funny number hehe

02:26:643 (146643|1,146689|0,146782|1,146874|0,146921|1,147013|0,147059|1,147152|0,147245|1,147291|0,147384|1,147476|0,147522|1,147630|1,147630|0,147754|0,147754|1) - left hand bias, zoom out to see

02:30:532 (150532|2) - could do 1/4 LN for this one too to match 02:30:161 (150161|2) -

02:33:911 - i feel this pattern doesnt do enough to emphasize the wubs increasing pitch, heres a suggested pattern~ https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/18422636/9bd9

02:35:171 (155171|1,155356|1) - : 02:35:171 (155171|1) - this sound ends on the 1/6 so would make sense to make both of these 1/6

Consider moving 02:37:384 (157384|2) to avoid the quick trill entry into the burst 02:37:198 (157198|3,157291|2,157337|3,157384|2)

02:40:264 (160264|1,160310|0) - make these [1][3] to separate them from 02:40:032 (160032|1,160079|0,160125|3,160171|2) -

02:40:912 (160912|3,160974|2) - swap these around to avoid 02:40:819 (160819|3,160912|3) -

02:43:690 (163690|2,163721|1,163782|3,163813|2) - these are 4 clearly spaced out sounds so idk why they're mapped as graces here

idk if its just my skill issue but it felt a little cramped on these notes 02:54:791 (174791|1,174914|1,175100|1,175208|1) -

i propose to flip the positions of these notes 02:55:208 (175208|1,175346|0,175439|1,175485|0) -

I don't think 03:10:161 (190161|3,190254|2,190346|3,190346|1,190346|0,190439|2) should be easier than 03:08:680 (188680|1,188772|2,188865|1,188865|2,188865|0,188958|1) right?

03:13:865 (193865|2,193865|3) - moving this to 12 like https://i.imgur.com/9sj69Hi.png makes it look cleaner

In the part starting at 03:14:513 I'm not sure what constitutes a minijack and what doesn't. For instance 03:14:513 (194513|3,194513|1,194513|2,194606|2,194698|1,194698|3,194698|0,194791|1) has 2 hands 1/2 apart and they have minijacks leading in and out, while 03:15:439 (195439|1,195532|3,195532|2,195532|0,195624|1,195717|3,195717|0,195717|2,195809|1) doesn't have any placed anywhere. I'm not sure if this was intentional in any way.

03:18:865 (198865|3,198865|0,198958|1,199050|3,199050|2,199143|2,199143|0,199235|1,199328|3,199328|2,199421|0,199421|3,199513|2,199513|1,199606|2,199606|0,199606|3) - I think I understand what you were going for here but I can't help but think it's easier and less impactful than the previous buildup section (with the onehand jump minijacks), so here's something to consider: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/18435728/cde8
Still relatively simple, but the hands now add impact to the powerful kicks in the song and the density/difficulty peaks at the last moment which is generally desirable for a buildup to a main drop

03:30:995 (210995|0,210995|2,211180|2,211180|3,211365|3,211365|0,211550|0,211550|1) - I think these doubles are kinda off on accenting the synth properly. at least it seems you have been on the synth the whole time.

i think doubles should be in the white lines here for synth instead of blue

and i think the pattern could be more like this to highlight the rising pitch

03:33:032 (213032|2,213124|2,213217|2,213217|0,213309|0,213402|0) - i'm fairly certain suddenly throwing in triple jacks out of nowhere in a stream is a bad idea

03:34:884 (214884|1,214976|0,214976|1,215069|0,215161|1,215254|0,215346|0,215346|1) - I think this is very nasty especially considering I have no idea why these LNs 03:35:161 (215161|3,215161|2) even exist lol

03:38:124 (218124|3) - i suggest you map this as it was earlier with some LNs mixed in to keep it interesting to play

03:39:791 (219791|1) perhaps move this to col 3 to make a minijack? because 03:39:050 (219050|3,219143|3,220161|3,220254|3,220346|1,220439|1) - are kicks with minijacks

And 03:41:458 (221458|3,221550|3) is cringe why is there a minijack wtf

03:43:309 (223309|3,223309|1,223402|3,223402|2,223495|1,223495|0,223587|2,223680|3,223680|0,223772|3,223772|2,223865|0,223865|2,223958|1) - col 2 has become the sleepy, right hand has become the minijacky yet again

sounds in 03:50:717 are exactly the same as ones in 01:10:346 - bit of a consistency issue here

03:51:458 (231458|1,231550|1) - I think leaving the 4-jack at 162bpm right into a minijack on the same hand is a bit merciless especially considering how easy it is to avoid, literally select 03:51:458 (231458|1,231550|1,231643|2,231828|2,231921|1,232013|2) and ctrl+H

04:05:532 - i think we could extend some LN's here to give some more length to the extended bass synth here

like just extending 04:05:532 (245532|2) - until 04:05:995 -

from 04:07:846 (247846|1) to 04:11:458 (251458|0) - not a bit issue but playing it felt lopsided to me - and the reason is:
minijack counts per column:
c1 - 4
c2 - 5
c3 - 6
c4 - 2
gaming

04:18:680 plays exactly the same as 04:18:263, even though they are two differen sounds - a bit misleading in terms of hand motion: consider repatterning this~

04:19:421 (259421|2) - too long

04:19:513 - could add an extra LN here in col 4 for the sound