Chapter 1: Kidnap


“Mark, what are you DOING?!?”

Mark looked up at me with a crazy glint in his eye and I stood frozen, transfixed by the violent mix of sadness, longing, and fanatic need. An instant later, he was gone, taking with him the unconscious forms of peppy and Saturos.

An instant of silence.

“Well NOW we’re fucked.” awp commented.

I can’t tell how the others were responding – I was in a bit of a daze, only faintly aware of words spoken. Not only had my Saturos, oh my beloved Saturos, been kidnapped, peppy had also been taken…from the process of preventing worldwide destruction.

“We should make a search party to recover them.” The voice of reason, in the form of Sinistro, broke through my consciousness. “We have two days left before the fatal bug occurs-“

“Let me go!” I demanded, frantic hope beating in my chest. I hurriedly explained. “I’ll leave immediately; I have Mark’s IP so I can find him! And I need to rescue my Saturos-sama!” I sprang up and was about to leave when awp grabbed my collar.

“Whoa, hold on there, SFG! You are NOT going off alone.”

“Why is she going at all?” Iris snorted. “I don’t trust her.”

“Well, does anyone else know where Mark went?” Sinistro asked mildly.

Everyone looked around. I raised my hand hopefully and looked for the others I knew to be in contact with Mark – none were present.

“Apparently not. SFG is in.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “…and I’ll go too.” Sin added.

“I’m in, this concerns peppy.” awp nodded and joined the group. I looked at Iris fearfully, wondering if she would join as well, but she just shrugged and slunk off.

“Is that all?” I asked nervously.

“Nah, I’ll come too~” Matty appeared next to me and I jumped.

“When’d you get here??”

“Just now, but this looks like fun and I’m bored.”

“Um…all right, let’s go then.” The four of us linked and disconnected.

The next moment we were falling through the air over Lake Erie at an alarming rate. awp reacted instantly, spreading his wings and tailfeathers and pumping furiously to slow us down. Matty had lost his grip on my arm and was clinging terrified to my leg while Sinistro and I held on to awp for dear life. We were too heavy – we were still falling.

awp wrestled an arm loose from me, leaving me wrapped around his neck trying not to either disrupt his wingbeats or swing around on top of Sinistro. Sticking two fingers in his mouth, he blew a piercing whistle, summoning a giant pigeon that caught first Matty and the Sinistro, much to my relief. In a few moments we were stable again, holding level in the air a scant fifty meters above the waters and only slightly shell-shocked.

“Who,” awp grunted, “failed to mention that they were in an airplane before we left?”

Matty coughed abashedly. I tried to shift to a more secure position hanging off of awp while not looking down at all.

Sinistro recovered himself. “I think we should land and reorganize?” awp didn’t reply, but he and his pigeon flew to the shore, landing heavily. I simply let go and fell backwards onto the grass, letting my heart slow down a little bit. Sinistro and Matty dismounted more gracefully, and Sin pulled me to my feet while Awp caught his breath.

“So, SFG, where IS Mark?” Sinistro asked pointedly. I concentrated, tracking the IP, and…there we go!

“Oh, he’s on the east coast of Japan…right next to you, awp!” I winked teasingly at the 13/f/Tokyo man. “Fastest way there is to reconnect and follow awp, then we can fly west. Can I ride the pigeon this time?”

“Hey, hold up, you can’t all three ride my bird!” awp protested. “And Sin there is heavy, I can’t hold him.”

“Oh fine, since you seem to be able to carry me, I guess I’ll go with you and your bird can carry Sin and Matty. Just can I please be in a better position this time?”

"Nah, It'd be better if I just summoned another pidgin." He did so, and the four of us (six if you count the pigeons) reappeared in the room long enough to get a funny look from James before following awp into Canada.

I was instantly very cold. I turned to awp aghast.

“How can you stand wandering this place wearing nothing but a cloud, awp? This is FREEZING!”

“I’m just that hot, hun~” I groaned, realizing that I’d walked into that one.

“Right. Let’s get going.” I hesitatingly climbed onto the bird’s back and we took off.

tl;dr

So how about mtmcl, he sure is a pimp isnt he.

meh

argh too many pronouns lose focus of who's saying/doing whaaaat

Also I'd ask why I was naked but I know full well I brought it on myself

actually nobody else is home so I could probably get away with de-pantsing right now

*stopped reading when "awp" was capitalized*

TPS should proofread this.

Chapter 2: Rape


We had been flying for half an hour, silently, when we discovered the length to which Mark was willing to go to maintain possession of Saturos and peppy.

There was a little pop and a small man, perhaps two feet tall, appeared directly in front of the other pigeon, which reared back. Sinistro paled and lunged his arms around the bird as he began to slip; poor Matty was dangling again, struggling to keep his grip on Sin. awp called out a sharp rebuke and the bird settled down after a few tense moments, letting Matty pull himself back up onto its back. Relieved, I turned my attention back to the man – men, for with a tinkling like broken glass more appeared, the same man duplicated perhaps a thousand times and forming a wall in front of us. The men stared right back at me and then began to sing and dance.

“Hey! Let’s do it! Make heart-pounding LOVE~ Its so big, and bigger~ GIVE US ONE OF YOU!”

“Um…” I interjected intelligently, only to be cut off by another rousing chorus, louder and more insistant.

“So what do we do now?!?” I was actually shouting, but I don’t think anyone but awp, hovering near me, could hear me over the din. Which was perfectly fine because he had an answer.

“Sacrifice Matty?” I giggled a bit and waited for the men to pause again…there!

“Stop!” I cried in my most commanding tone, and everyone quieted and turned towards me. Sinistro was giving me a puzzled and vaguely disapproving look that made my insides squirm as if to hide from it. I hesitated, but continued anyways.

“We will give you Matty,” I told the men, gesturing to the young teen while trying my hardest not to look at anyone. It was enough – with a primitive howl the men descended on him, tearing him from the pigeon and carrying him off triumphantly. Suddenly I felt very ill and tired, realizing the task I had assigned Matty, and surrendered to the temptation to take temporary leave of my senses.

(Sinistro's PoV) How could anyone, let alone a supposedly decent person like SFG, coolly delegate someone to rape like that? And underage as well. I refrain from using the word “sinister,” but I could not approve her cold-blooded decision on this. I glanced up at the girl, now of all things ASLEEP, and glanced away again, seeking to occupy my mind with the less disturbing and more important question of how to recover peppy.

(awp's PoV) Good thing I keep my birds well-trained, because SFG was, of all things, asleep on the bird's back. I had vaguely hoped that she would be more practical than that, but then again, it was SFG. Oh well, at least it didn't need to interrupt our search for peppy...

(my PoV) I woke slowly, wondering why I was being rocked up and down. Opening my eyes answered that question – I was still riding the bird. I reached up to rub the sleep from my eyes, then stopped hastily as I broke the coefficient of static friction between myself and it, with a small cry of surprise. Awp looked up with an extra beat of his wings as the bird leveled for a moment to let me regain my grip.

At least, I held on until the turtle.

We were over land by then, a scant 13 miles from our destination, when a giant turtle fell from the sky on top of us, driving us rapidly toward a (literally) crushing defeat. I screamed – I know I screamed, but no sound came out – and half-crushed the bird, who was struggling to push out from under the massive shell, too slowly, the ground was approaching far to fast-!

awp was the one to save us, actually, pushing his birds in with all the command of someone who actually kept their head when things got dangerous. We made it out from under the bottom of the shell instants before it smashed into the ground. The top of the shell, however, still imprisoned us, and to make everything even better, the pigeons then gave a soft, apologetic coo and vanished, subjecting us suddenly to gravity.

All three of us kind-of collapsed on the ground for a bit, recovering in the green half-light of the shell. I could hear the rattle of awp’s exhausted panting, wondering vaguely how much strength he still had after several hours of flight and then this ordeal. Well, now was a good time to take initiative and let the others rest. I stood and took stock of the situation.

We were in a dimly lit maze inside of the turtle. The ceiling was about twenty feet up, the tops of the walls only 15, and as I observed this, the furry head of a goblin popped up over one of the walls, stared at me a moment, and promptly disappeared again. We were in a dead end, and Sinistro was getting to his feet.

“I think we’re in a Labyrinth.” I announced, and as I said this a little glass ball rolled past, showing a ticking clock with a little red mark at 12:03AM tomorrow – the time at which the world would crash. Sinistro looked back at me.

“I think you’re right.”

“But the walls are lower…” I glanced at awp, now standing, although in this light he seemed flushed, his eyes unfocused.

A subtle change in his stance and he looked ready. “I’ll take care of it hun,” he assured me, and took off over the walls…or tried to. Sin and I winced as he slammed headfirst into an invisible barrier across the tops of the walls. awp flapped half a beat more, unsteadily, and then fell heavily to the ground. I ran to him anxiously, babbling.

“Oh, I hope he’s okay…! awp..! awp! Please be okay! Wake up wake up…!” Sinistro put his hand on my shoulder to keep me from shaking awp’s immobile body, then checked awp over quickly. I held my breath…Sin nodded.

“He’s okay, just out cold. No blood, no broken bones, but we should let him recover on his own schedule.”

I nodded meekly as Sinistro continued. “Our mission still takes priority. I’ll carry him until he wakes.” I still couldn’t find my voice, so I silently helped lift awp up onto his back.

“Um…Let me go first, so I can make sure its safe. I can prolly dodge faster than you can…” I suggested. Sin agreed and we continued through the maze, trying to ignore the watchful, furry eyes always present from over one wall or another. Luckily, the shell was a dome, so I could use it to find the center of the labyrinth.

The trip was remarkably uneventful, passed in a tense silence and backtracking from dead ends, and occasionally kicking a gremlin or two, until we reached the center having encountered nothing dangerous.

When we reached the center, EVERYTHING went haywire.

I already told SFG about this, and she's gonna fix it.

The viewpoint currently changes from time to time with no indication of when it happens or who it goes to. It's especially confusing during the sacrifice Matty bit.

EDIT: Already fixed. Yay.

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Chapter 3: Death (these chapter names sound srsly emo lol)



I poked my head around the corner to find a giant circular room. There was an obvious opening on the other side and some strange tracks going across it, but nothing else…the coast seemed clear…I indicated to Sinistro that it looked safe, and he came around with awp.

Conveniently, that was the moment that a giant ring of firey death, augmented by four prominent fangs and thousands of small teeth, appeared on the other side of the room barreling down on us at enormous speed. Actually, it was aimed more at me, since I was in the center, and I scrambled to the side with all the dignity of a frightened puppy before realizing that Sinistro carrying awp was still in the path of the monster.

Luckily, Sinistro maintained the presence of mind not just to sidestep, but to draw his sword left-handed and swing at the thing as it lunged past. The sword pierced the monster, which I now perceived to be some sort of caterpillar, as awp slid off of Sinistro and landed on the ground with a groan. I perked up and ran across to him as soon as the monster’s other end had passed by, only to encounter a chokingly acrid smell.

Sinistro wrinkled his nose in distaste and produced a cloth to wipe the foul-scented red ichor from his sword, then sheathed it again and knelt by awp.

awp opened his eyes, to my vast relief, and then moaned.

“Fuuck…my head….”

Sin and I exchanged worried glances. I cleared my throat. “Are you okay…? awp…?”

“IF HE ISN’T, HE WILL BE NOW!” We looked back startled to see the speaker. Long, half-spiky blonde hair, almost white, cascaded over his rich orange and green robe as he played with a glass ball languidly, watching us right back majestically.

“Rolled, what the fuck are you doing here?” I’m not sure who said that, although I doubt it was Sini. We were all kind-of staring aghast as Rolled produced from nowhere a lollipop and began to suck on it contentedly.

“So you guys want out, right?” Rolled drawled, ignoring my question. “I can get you guys out.”

“Um…that would be nice…” I was still a bit startled by his appearance. Rolled gave a cheesy thumbs-up and we were surrounded by fog, and reappeared on a really bright cloud. We were all back on our feet magically, and to one side of us was a giant yellow gate, closed. On the other side was a red slide, and there really wasn’t any other place to go, so…

“OOOH! A SLIDE~! ^^” I ran to it eagerly and looked down. It was a very long slide – I couldn’t see the bottom. “I think we’re supposed to take it~” And so, with all the foresight in the world, I jumped onto the slide. Having no better choice (it WAS the only way out) the other two followed me.

I didn’t see the end of the slide until I was underwater. I floundered back to the surface to find myself a few miles offshore of Japan. Then I looked around.

Sinistro seemed to be doing okay, treading water neatly (although how he managed to keep overwater with chain mail and a sword is beyond me).

awp, on the other hand, was flapping his now waterlogged wings frantically, trying to shake off the heavy drops that saturated them and pulled him down. Sin and I noticed him simultaneously and swam over to him as he started to go under. I dove down, my eyes stinging with the salty water, just in time to see Metal Mario jump, do a flip, and grab awp by the ankle, dragging him down to the sandy bottom.

I froze, watching in agony as awp fought his captor, thrashing around distantly and growing progressively weaker as he lost oxygen….I didn’t even realize I was still underwater until I accidentally inhaled some and was pulled up by Sinistro, coughing convulsively and crying out; “awp! awp! awp!”

I struggled against Sin, trying to break free and go to awp, but awp was gone. awp…AWP!!!

I surfaced again, making to dive down to the bottom, to where Awp was and find him! Surely he was there somewhere, had escaped and was okay..! Surely….I was pulled up short by the vicegrip on my arm. I came up again, my world swathed in red.

“What the fuck are you doing, Sinistro!” I hissed in my most dangerous tone of voice.

“I’m keeping you from doing anything stupid.” Sinistro’s voice sounded distant, tired, but I was in no mood to notice. I cut straight to the point.

“Let me go to awp! Don’t kill him!”

Sin looked at me with a mix of grief and pity. “SFG, awp is already dead.”

(Sinistro’s PoV) Well, it was concise and accurate, but SFG looked so stricken that I almost regretted it. Nevertheless, we had scarcely a day left before we completed the mission or failed, and she was going to drown herself if we didn’t get to shore, not to mention that she was still the only one able to track Mark. There would be time to grieve later…for now we had a job to do.

Chapter 4 (F8 version)


(my PoV) Somehow or another, Sinistro and I made it to the shore. He had talked to me seriously for a while, drawing me from emotion to rationality. Saturos-sama and peppy were still being held by Mark. The world was going to crash in twenty hours. Sini hadn't slept in the past thirty hours. It was night. Mark was, according to IP, a few miles down the coast. I didn't want to think about where awp and Matty were. Sinistro and I were shivering in our sea-soaked garments and, worn by the day's events, dozed off attempting to find thermal equilibrium by a two-particle system.

We awoke the next morning, and I rather dreamily meandered towards Mark's location, not really noticing if Sinistro was following or if I was alone. Alone? Of course I wasn't alone, I had awp and Saturos-sama with me, and we were all going to Mark's place to have a tea party. I giggled, jumping into conversation with them in companionate bliss.

"SFG!" Sinistro called out. I turned and waved cheerily at him before picking up on what Saturos-sama was saying again. I could almost see Mark's factory! This was going to be so much fun~

(Sinistro's PoV) I think SFG lost her mind. She was walking down the beach in what I hoped was the right direction, giggling and talking to herself childishly. She didn't seem to hear anything I said to her, so I just trailed after her unhappily. Finally, a factory emerged into view and SFG made a beeline for it. It seemed she'd at least retained enough of her sanity to find Mark. I sped up, but made sure to keep an eye on the girl.

At the entrance to the factory, a giant steel door, was a big red button labeled "Talk to Mark." I facepalmed. A big red button? Come o-

"Well yes, but then I'd want to move it the other way, right Saturos-sama?" SFG had caught up to me, talking to what she apparently thought was Saturos. Then she pushed the big red button. Oh noooo...

A large screen lowered, showing Mark's face.

"Hey Mark~ You said you'd hang out with us today, right? ^_^ We're HEEERE~~!" Mark blinked and I sighed. SFG was still far gone. I guess I'd have to take care of business then.

"Mark, I'm here to negotiate for the release of peppy and Saturos."

Mark said nothing, but his eyes darkened dangerously and a small door opened in the side, letting me into a long hallway. SFG did not follow me...I hesitated a moment and then sent a pm to LuigiHann with a short explanation and a request to watch her, then continued down the long hall.

At the end, I found Mark sitting in a comfy chair, his back to me, in a control room of some sort. A screen went dark as I entered and he turned to face me.

"You want to take peppy and Satty from me?" He sounded pleading, desperate.

"The world is in danger if you do not release at least peppy, and I don't think you should hold either of them against their will."

"But I've waited so long for love...can we share?"

Uhm.

I hesitated, and then had an instant to react to the explosion directly in front of me. I realized I was in pain.

D.R.T.

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Nice writing style.

Download: Kagamine Rin - I Can Take Off My Panties! (ztrot) [Haneii's Panties].osu

wtf.


just like that?


and when will i ever fit in this??

I hope Sinistro and awp read this. Also, if you guys did post your reactions in detail please.

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Ctrl + F > "Sei" > Close Tab

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Needs more good guy vs bad guy fight scenes~

Is it round 2 time now? ^^

it needs a maverick.

j/k but good story ~

An64fan wrote:

Did peppy escape and rebuild the world's code or something? XD

My understanding is that no matter what happens, he can always just delete the current checked out copy of osu! and re-checkout the entire code base from his trusty SVN repository

An64fan wrote:

Did peppy escape and rebuild the world's code or something? XD

no, peppy somehow exists outside of the world so when the world crashed, he just walked out and fixed everything. And then rebooted, which is how everyone came back to life again.

alternate ending is available by request once i type it up, which should be before saturday, btw guys. But its got some sexual stuff in it and all that so if you dont like yaoi don't ask for it.

Oh, and incidentally, iRL is the name of the world its in, not the name of the fic itself. obv. this world is seperate from reality.

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Pokebis wrote:

I request the third option.
And the first two.
Mostly the second.

third?

Hoshii!

I mean... I want it.

An64fan wrote:

Hoshii!

I mean... I want it.

Want what? youre already on the list for ctrl-alt-del