The history of the legend reaches back to the earliest days of osu! It was the period known as the Golden Age, in 2009; players had fallen, outlying beatmaps lost, and Cookiezi had regressed to an uncivilized battleground of score whoring warlords.
Then Miracle Lotus appeared, a messianic leader with clearly superhuman physique and psychic abilities. Miracle Lotus employed many people in key roles and quickly secured the entire harem under his command.
Miracle Lotus was planning more: to take the osu! empire. To achieve this, he had a secret plan known as the "SUPER OSU! HAREM CONQUEST".
He then said: "JUST YOU WAIT! I WILL BECOME YOUR EMPEROR!!"
His conquest begun, marching through the ranks and seducing many people's hearts.
It shall be a grand journey...
btw you should totally join my harem
Then Miracle Lotus appeared, a messianic leader with clearly superhuman physique and psychic abilities. Miracle Lotus employed many people in key roles and quickly secured the entire harem under his command.
Miracle Lotus was planning more: to take the osu! empire. To achieve this, he had a secret plan known as the "SUPER OSU! HAREM CONQUEST".
He then said: "JUST YOU WAIT! I WILL BECOME YOUR EMPEROR!!"
His conquest begun, marching through the ranks and seducing many people's hearts.
It shall be a grand journey...
btw you should totally join my harem
Chapter 1
All skilled player can choose to devote their lives to the pursuit of great good or great harm to others, and Miracle Lotus is no different from other mortals in this respect.
Highly skilled as an adolescent to be a superhuman warrior, and armed and armored with the highest quality keyboard and tablet, Miracle Lotus is intended to serve as the ultimate defender of the great osu! empire.
To become a member is to surrender one's own life and aspirations to the service of Miracle Lotus, and to wholly dedicate oneself to this singular purpose forever more.
The farmers plague osu! from the end to end with their ceaseless rank whoring and skill-less HD plays.
They are a race rooted so deeply in whoring that skill and patience is utterly incomprehensible to them.
I pray with all my faith that some great catastrophe will annihilate them but I fear that ultimately it is they, not we, who shall rule osu!
Miracle Lotus shall be the finest warrior, this man who gave himself to osu!
Regrouping people into his harem like clay, he shall mould them and in the furnace of war forge them.
They will be of iron will and steely muscle.
In great armor shall he clad them and with the mightiest keyboards will they be armed.
"They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them.
They will have tactics, strategies and tablets such that no foe can best them in battle.
They are my bulwark against the farmers.
They are the Defenders of osu!
They are part of my harem, and they shall know no fear."
I shall accept anyone in my radiance.
You shall regret to ever leave behind the growing harem empire.
Highly skilled as an adolescent to be a superhuman warrior, and armed and armored with the highest quality keyboard and tablet, Miracle Lotus is intended to serve as the ultimate defender of the great osu! empire.
To become a member is to surrender one's own life and aspirations to the service of Miracle Lotus, and to wholly dedicate oneself to this singular purpose forever more.
The farmers plague osu! from the end to end with their ceaseless rank whoring and skill-less HD plays.
They are a race rooted so deeply in whoring that skill and patience is utterly incomprehensible to them.
I pray with all my faith that some great catastrophe will annihilate them but I fear that ultimately it is they, not we, who shall rule osu!
Miracle Lotus shall be the finest warrior, this man who gave himself to osu!
Regrouping people into his harem like clay, he shall mould them and in the furnace of war forge them.
They will be of iron will and steely muscle.
In great armor shall he clad them and with the mightiest keyboards will they be armed.
"They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them.
They will have tactics, strategies and tablets such that no foe can best them in battle.
They are my bulwark against the farmers.
They are the Defenders of osu!
They are part of my harem, and they shall know no fear."
I shall accept anyone in my radiance.
You shall regret to ever leave behind the growing harem empire.
Chapter 2
During the righteous pacification of the heretical insurgence on the recruitment thread, Wojjan bravely confronted the stubborn shitposts of the heretical shitposters.
For an entire day, Miracle Lotus and his men held against wave after wave of shitposts by the hateful rebels.
Well versed, Wojjan guided the future of the thread surely and strongly, bringing the vengeance of the emperor in volleys of controlled, effective cleaning.
"I have seen with mine own eyes many long and terrible plays. I have met brave men and good men whose replays have weighed heavily upon my soul. On osu! I was witness to the Conquests of White Wolf and the burning ruins of the old score ranking haunt me still.
On Four Dimensions I watched as Cookiezi's own skill rise from dark ruin after so many years of unholy plays. Even then I was not glad, for too many had fallen who were needed elsewhere. Too many lives wasted whilst our score whoring enemies grew ever more powerful.
Yet in all my many years I have never seen a sight as terrible as the new performance points system. That horde of pp hoarders came on as a sea of unskilful plays that stretched from horizon to horizon without end.
Over it hung a stink of heresy, a black cloud of evil which tainted osu! with its obscenity. I cannot think of it still without terror, and must endure a moment's panic to write even these few words.
Even so, the harem did not flinch but stood their ground with a determination.
And that was when I witnessed for the first and only time the strange secret of that harem, seeing then what few men have seen, the thing beyond human comprehension, the great daemon that is Miracle Lotus"
"Do I need a hero?" you may be pondering.
"I'm a hero"
So said your almighty emperor.
For an entire day, Miracle Lotus and his men held against wave after wave of shitposts by the hateful rebels.
Well versed, Wojjan guided the future of the thread surely and strongly, bringing the vengeance of the emperor in volleys of controlled, effective cleaning.
"I have seen with mine own eyes many long and terrible plays. I have met brave men and good men whose replays have weighed heavily upon my soul. On osu! I was witness to the Conquests of White Wolf and the burning ruins of the old score ranking haunt me still.
On Four Dimensions I watched as Cookiezi's own skill rise from dark ruin after so many years of unholy plays. Even then I was not glad, for too many had fallen who were needed elsewhere. Too many lives wasted whilst our score whoring enemies grew ever more powerful.
Yet in all my many years I have never seen a sight as terrible as the new performance points system. That horde of pp hoarders came on as a sea of unskilful plays that stretched from horizon to horizon without end.
Over it hung a stink of heresy, a black cloud of evil which tainted osu! with its obscenity. I cannot think of it still without terror, and must endure a moment's panic to write even these few words.
Even so, the harem did not flinch but stood their ground with a determination.
And that was when I witnessed for the first and only time the strange secret of that harem, seeing then what few men have seen, the thing beyond human comprehension, the great daemon that is Miracle Lotus"
"Do I need a hero?" you may be pondering.
"I'm a hero"
So said your almighty emperor.
Chapter 3
"Don't mind me, just being a hero." Said the heretical Mara.
"You don't have a harem - you are in MARAN HAAREMI now. Don't even try to deny it. You know it's true."
"Fight me, 1v1" Replied the almighty harem king.
Mara then madly typed unreadable madness
"relax bowlcut
Q3 railguns only no quad dmg final destination"
Any form of heresy is conquerable by the might of Miracle Lotus, for he knew that heresy only grows with idleness.
He charges with full might to the Mara heretic to a glorious battle that will forever be remembered in the thread.
"I am the emperor here, and nobody is going to stop my empire!"
To be continued...
"You don't have a harem - you are in MARAN HAAREMI now. Don't even try to deny it. You know it's true."
"Fight me, 1v1" Replied the almighty harem king.
Mara then madly typed unreadable madness
"relax bowlcut
Q3 railguns only no quad dmg final destination"
Any form of heresy is conquerable by the might of Miracle Lotus, for he knew that heresy only grows with idleness.
He charges with full might to the Mara heretic to a glorious battle that will forever be remembered in the thread.
"I am the emperor here, and nobody is going to stop my empire!"
To be continued...