had multiple dreams, one including a rare vividly memorable moment where i nearly went lucid but tried to straddle the line of cognizance so that my dream could still qualify as the extent of my reality, but it was too hard to keep myself from scrutinizing the details and committing them to attention. i tried to take off a coat or jacket in a process of trying to "feel" the world better during the one chance i had to savor some kind of sensation. i could infer there was a gentle fresh breeze, but i couldnt get far enough with it for anything to mean anything
i wrote some of it down but its not really worth it if i cant visualize it anymore, visuals and raw sensation are the things i rely on and wish i could hold onto but can never seem to have with these things-- audio too of course, but they dont often define places and environments for me quite as fast or definitively, sound is still an incredibly important sense in this though
it was a very mundane place to be, just a street outside a familiar elementary school, late afternoon skies with a deep shadow of dusk looming close with dark bluish tones. gravel and dirt, poorly maintained roads, creeks and alleys, a truck that wasnt what i thought it shouldve been, a car that passed by me as i crossed
...mundane thin wooden houses with thin layers of paint and a messy facade of brush and trees obscuring the details
if only i could have stayed there longer, if only i could have "felt" more
dreams are strangely more lifelike than real life, i feel more real there than i do here, more alive there than i do here