show more
i'll be here when you're ready to do the qna :
trying to doodle, but not really getting anywhere yet...
edit 4: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ahswood-cornbluffs and the mabwell-bandellos say good night too <3
hopefully i can draw something tomorrow lol ;v;
my son... (i got to the bnunny room)
>>
>>>
"wrong" as in like if having that attitude only serves to exhaust you not if someone "deserves" it
idk looking at your posts for the past while seems like a bunch of shit's been going on. maybe you're burned out or smthg
+ how curious, the description feels gently nostalgic somehow
in most cases its the conflict in perspective/personality that exhausts me, im bad at differences and try to assimilate myself sometimes unless its a mutually acknowledged thing. im very much influenced by externalities and absorb a surface-level imprint of what people seem to feel, and i often fear being entangled in it to the detriment of either party
or maybe im describing something different from what the original quote was about... i cant keep track of it when im vague and lost as i usually am
anyway
im normally very low-energy even if i type contrary to that-- still, some of those times would consist of me genuinely being in a spike of excitement. a lot of people-ing and perspective-ing and mediating will drain me unless it's a very very specific kind of person or topic of interest, and most places will be hard for me to want to be in. these recent events are very very people-oriented and suffocating, and my presence is inextricable from them and their contexts. i guess in hindsight that im not horrible at them, and the spongy mirror-y nature of certain things helps me be very sincerely sweet/warm (it is not something i fake, or at least i dont think im being fake) until it stops being immediately related
burnout is right, i would guess, but im a little too lazy to chase the extent of its truth
as a result im mostly in an inconsistent space of habit, coming and going, present and absent, mostly passive and distracted by wherever attention brings me rather than making anything happen on my own
like emptied order for emptying chaos maybe, or not
im not sure if i imbued this with some kind of pretense... im kind of tired of doubting myself but i also really do not like the thought that i may be lying or misrepresenting things when presumably my whole thing is sincerity/clarity/accuracy in some form
ps!bambi: "it's pretty fun. :]"
oh yes, thats me, émile u. williams
...
...
...
oh
thats unfortunate
bambi: "we've all hydrated too."
expunged: "make sure you hydrate aswell! :>"
bandu: "yeah!!"
ps!dave: "we've all taken our meds!"
ps!bambi: "we've hydrated aswell."
ps!expunged: "make sure you hydrate too. :]"
ps!bandu: "mhm! <3"
bambi: "we've all hydrated too."
expunged: "aaa,,"
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "we had pasta tonight. :]"
ps!bambi: "we've hydrated aswell."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaa,, <3"
edit: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ahswood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too <3
the chorus of this won't leave my head
bambi: "make sure you do the same."
expunged: "mhm <3"
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "we've eaten + hydrated!"
ps!bambi: "make sure you eat + hydrate too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaaa <3"
bambi: "we've all stretched + exercised too."
expunged, zoned out: "..."
bandu: "aaa!! <3"
ps!dave: "we've all taken our meds!"
ps!bambi: "we've stretched and exercised too."
ps!expunged: "mhm."
ps!bandu: "aaa,,"
bambi: "make sure you do the same."
expunged: "aaa..."
bandu: "hehe :3"
ps!dave: "we've all eaten + hydrated!"
ps!bambi: "make sure you eat + hydrate too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu, zoned out: "..."
edit: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too!! <3
bambi: "make sure you eat and hydrate too."
expunged: "aaa..."
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "hello-hello! we've all eaten + hydrated!"
ps!bambi: "make sure you do the same."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaaa <3"
bambi: "we've all stretched and exercised too."
expunged: "mhm <3"
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "we've all taken our meds!"
ps!bambi: "we've stretched + exercised too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaaa <3"
doodling, but not really getting anywhere...
edit: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too <3
show more
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too <3
hopefully i can draw something today :')
hopefully i can draw something today :')
hehe
who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
doodling...
guh
juneberry red bull is actually pretty good. it's like blue and berry but not blueberry
doodling while i wait for achro...
mostly giving up on being anywhere or doing anything
but habits will drag me where they will
im growing "colder/drier" in personality when i really really would rather not be like that
not that im necessarily fundamentally changing, im just not as able/willing/inclined to consistently be a "warm" person, or... something, im not sure i mean what i think i mean, nor think what i mean to think or what i suggest im thinking. what i think i mean is that i expect id be wrong about a lot of things i say or describe about myself or my opinions/impressions
this is exhausting
easier not to do anything but hard to stop not-doing things about what im--
...i just needed thirty more seconds
whatever
but habits will drag me where they will
im growing "colder/drier" in personality when i really really would rather not be like that
not that im necessarily fundamentally changing, im just not as able/willing/inclined to consistently be a "warm" person, or... something, im not sure i mean what i think i mean, nor think what i mean to think or what i suggest im thinking. what i think i mean is that i expect id be wrong about a lot of things i say or describe about myself or my opinions/impressions
this is exhausting
easier not to do anything but hard to stop not-doing things about what im--
...i just needed thirty more seconds
whatever
i see... it's okay, take all the time you need to! you'll get through this <3Achromalia wrote:
mostly giving up on being anywhere or doing anything
but habits will drag me where they will
im growing "colder/drier" in personality when i really really would rather not be like that
not that im necessarily fundamentally changing, im just not as able/willing/inclined to consistently be a "warm" person, or... something, im not sure i mean what i think i mean, nor think what i mean to think or what i suggest im thinking. what i think i mean is that i expect id be wrong about a lot of things i say or describe about myself or my opinions/impressions
this is exhausting
easier not to do anything but hard to stop not-doing things about what im--
...i just needed thirty more seconds
whatever
i'll be here when you're ready to do the qna :
trying to doodle, but not really getting anywhere yet...
edit 4: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ahswood-cornbluffs and the mabwell-bandellos say good night too <3
hopefully i can draw something tomorrow lol ;v;
Hehe
i forgot
i dont know what i want to do here, this is just a compulsion really
i dont know what i want to do here, this is just a compulsion really
my son... (i got to the bnunny room)
>>
shit's like drinking a melted blue raspberry flavoured snowcone or like the syrup they use to flavour it. but the flavouring is significantly more bluesynthwavesquid wrote:
juneberry red bull is actually pretty good. it's like blue and berry but not blueberry
>>>
it's fair though depending on your surroundings. trying to be warm sucks ass when it's meant for the "wrong" kinds of peopleAchromalia wrote:
mostly giving up on being anywhere or doing anything
but habits will drag me where they will
im growing "colder/drier" in personality when i really really would rather not be like that
not that im necessarily fundamentally changing, im just not as able/willing/inclined to consistently be a "warm" person, or... something, im not sure i mean what i think i mean, nor think what i mean to think or what i suggest im thinking. what i think i mean is that i expect id be wrong about a lot of things i say or describe about myself or my opinions/impressions
this is exhausting
easier not to do anything but hard to stop not-doing things about what im--
...i just needed thirty more seconds
whatever
"wrong" as in like if having that attitude only serves to exhaust you not if someone "deserves" it
idk looking at your posts for the past while seems like a bunch of shit's been going on. maybe you're burned out or smthg
+ i love sonsynthwavesquid wrote:
>>shit's like drinking a melted blue raspberry flavoured snowcone or like the syrup they use to flavour it. but the flavouring is significantly more bluesynthwavesquid wrote:
juneberry red bull is actually pretty good. it's like blue and berry but not blueberry
+ how curious, the description feels gently nostalgic somehow
mm. ill-fitting and exhausting may be right, i dont think i would consciously believe its about people being "deserving/undeserving" and if i use criteria like that it may be more about fear/hesitation or personal cost, or i would avoid some if its about how [in]effectively i could "meet them where they are" in an interactionsynthwavesquid wrote:
it's fair though depending on your surroundings. trying to be warm sucks ass when it's meant for the "wrong" kinds of peopleAchromalia wrote:
mostly giving up on being anywhere or doing anythingbut habits will drag me where they will
im growing "colder/drier" in personality when i really really would rather not be like that
not that im necessarily fundamentally changing, im just not as able/willing/inclined to consistently be a "warm" person, or... something, im not sure i [mean what i think i mean], nor [think what i mean to think] or [what i suggest im thinking]. what i think i mean is that i expect id be wrong about a lot of things i say or describe about myself or my opinions/impressions
this is exhausting
easier not to do anything but hard to stop not-doing things about what im--
...i just needed thirty more seconds
whatever
"wrong" as in like if having that attitude only serves to exhaust you not if someone "deserves" it
idk looking at your posts for the past while seems like a bunch of shit's been going on. maybe you're burned out or smthg
in most cases its the conflict in perspective/personality that exhausts me, im bad at differences and try to assimilate myself sometimes unless its a mutually acknowledged thing. im very much influenced by externalities and absorb a surface-level imprint of what people seem to feel, and i often fear being entangled in it to the detriment of either party
or maybe im describing something different from what the original quote was about... i cant keep track of it when im vague and lost as i usually am
anyway
im normally very low-energy even if i type contrary to that-- still, some of those times would consist of me genuinely being in a spike of excitement. a lot of people-ing and perspective-ing and mediating will drain me unless it's a very very specific kind of person or topic of interest, and most places will be hard for me to want to be in. these recent events are very very people-oriented and suffocating, and my presence is inextricable from them and their contexts. i guess in hindsight that im not horrible at them, and the spongy mirror-y nature of certain things helps me be very sincerely sweet/warm (it is not something i fake, or at least i dont think im being fake) until it stops being immediately related
burnout is right, i would guess, but im a little too lazy to chase the extent of its truth
as a result im mostly in an inconsistent space of habit, coming and going, present and absent, mostly passive and distracted by wherever attention brings me rather than making anything happen on my own
like emptied order for emptying chaos maybe, or not
im not sure if i imbued this with some kind of pretense... im kind of tired of doubting myself but i also really do not like the thought that i may be lying or misrepresenting things when presumably my whole thing is sincerity/clarity/accuracy in some form
im
who am i exactly
who am i exactly
Boom! One hour yeHh
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too <3
hopefully i can draw some stuff today X')
hopefully i can draw some stuff today X')
wajking uo
doodling...
welcome back achro!!
welcome back achro!!
for the ambwells: do you remember trading turns with each other for different little activities with the kids? what were those activities, if so?lostsilver wrote:
dave: "give me something goofy/cute about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cuddly/cute about ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy/sleepy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something silly/cute about dave!!"
ps!dave: "give me something silly/cute about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' cute/goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sleepy/cuddly about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cute/cozy about ps!ex <3"
ps!dave: "yeah. there was this one time where he gave me the turn of gardening with ps!bandu, so i gave him the turn of helping ps!ex in seir lab."Achromalia wrote:
for the ambwells: do you remember trading turns with each other for different little activities with the kids? what were those activities, if so?lostsilver wrote:
dave: "give me something goofy/cute about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cuddly/cute about ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy/sleepy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something silly/cute about dave!!"
ps!dave: "give me something silly/cute about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' cute/goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sleepy/cuddly about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cute/cozy about ps!ex <3"
ps!bambi: "it's pretty fun. :]"
lesgoo im in the top 3
send help, I won reffty's contest
taco bell quesadilla my
>>
>>
the one william dollar questionAchromalia wrote:
im
who am i exactly
synthwavesquid wrote:
the one william dollar questionAchromalia wrote:
im
who am i exactly
...
...
...
oh
thats unfortunate
who am i?
ah. fuck.
ah. fuck.
for everyone: medication check!! and some water too :>
you may already be past friday tho
what if youre,, a "flat-tv fuck",,,,synthwavesquid wrote:
who am i?
a. fuck.
you may already be past friday tho
dave: "we've taken our meds!"Achromalia wrote:
for everyone: medication check!! and some water too :>
bambi: "we've all hydrated too."
expunged: "make sure you hydrate aswell! :>"
bandu: "yeah!!"
ps!dave: "we've all taken our meds!"
ps!bambi: "we've hydrated aswell."
ps!expunged: "make sure you hydrate too. :]"
ps!bandu: "mhm! <3"
in want of something here if it went somewhere, were it not for what we were
playing games with a friend, so replies may be delayed
for everyone: aaand, dinnertime? what did you make tonight? <3
i've flipped some kind of "want taco bell" switch in my head. this may be the third day in recent i get it. hopefully by then i'll be satisfied
>>
or uh. beside me. attached to- nevermind
it was still friday for me when you posted that so it counts. happy belated flat-tv fuck friday
>>
new character dynamic just dropped
like a newborn kitten sticking their arm straight into a cup of boiling tea to see what it is. except the tea is like the equivalent to an eldritch horror for them
>>
what if the flat-tv fuck was within me all alongAchromalia wrote:
for everyone: medication check!! and some water too :>what if youre,, a "flat-tv fuck",,,,synthwavesquid wrote:
who am i?
a. fuck.
you may already be past friday tho
or uh. beside me. attached to- nevermind
it was still friday for me when you posted that so it counts. happy belated flat-tv fuck friday
>>
new character dynamic just dropped
like a newborn kitten sticking their arm straight into a cup of boiling tea to see what it is. except the tea is like the equivalent to an eldritch horror for them
dave: "we had tacos tonight. :Achromalia wrote:
for everyone: aaand, dinnertime? what did you make tonight? <3
bambi: "we've all hydrated too."
expunged: "aaa,,"
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "we had pasta tonight. :]"
ps!bambi: "we've hydrated aswell."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaa,, <3"
edit: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ahswood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too <3
why is it so impossible to draw Anything
or something like that
or something like that
oh to yearn for a life barely lived
yuh
by viewers like you
the chorus of this won't leave my head
rice.
chicken, stock,
b U T T E R .
parme--,
--szhaun,
onion.
olive, oil, white, wine,
garrrrrrrr-LLLIIIHHCCCKGH.
...
p a r s l e y .
chicken, stock,
b U T T E R .
parme--,
--szhaun,
onion.
olive, oil, white, wine,
garrrrrrrr-LLLIIIHHCCCKGH.
...
p a r s l e y .
call me harry dubois the way i rarely fully know what's going on at any time and am guided by disjointed thought processes in my head
Velleity, and Thirsting From Still Waters
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too <3
gonna try to draw today, so hopefully i'll have some stuff to share!!
gonna try to draw today, so hopefully i'll have some stuff to share!!
good morning
i rlly want to listen to "in utero", but i dont have time
doodling...
caloriemaxxing my taco bell order because i let myself close my eyes and relax while i was mildly tired and therefore have barely eaten today
yes
...shit
back there for two weeks again... i didnt really savor this halfway-misshapen peace soon enough
a stagnant humid dread looms overhead. i just want to sleep and dream and sleep and dream and do nothing and have no role in anything and sink into empty listlessness forever
for everyone: lunchtime? stay hydrated <3
back there for two weeks again... i didnt really savor this halfway-misshapen peace soon enough
a stagnant humid dread looms overhead. i just want to sleep and dream and sleep and dream and do nothing and have no role in anything and sink into empty listlessness forever
today's dream was...
...very very interesting, surprisingly halfway coherent and surprisingly long. it started somewhere within a very familiar school cafeteria, briefly meeting students/friends i had known from school life across an entire decade. not sure exactly what happened, it was a generally ambiguous kind of experience between positive/negative moments and relationships that were either unexpectedly endearing or unexpectedly cold. i really enjoyed watching and listening to how those conversations went between them. it's also a relatively common way for dreams to start/intersect/end, and it leaves a very comforting bittersweet residue every time
it led from that to something about me living as a flying drone of some kind, hovering across a town and stopping above an unknown schoolmate's home. they were being targeted by older teenagers with rapid-firing guns, and after a little bit of hovering, i would be spotted and shot at while i narrowly strafed out of the way of that real-life bullet hell for a suspenseful minute, and then eventually slipped past their line of sight
i reached a very familiar home, reminiscent of the one belonging to that family member i've been caring for irl. i hid inside, still hovering, staying out of everyone's sight while a few other students wandered in. i would revolve behind walls and furniture according to where people went, but would eventually be found. nothing really happened until i hovered back outside and spotted those same teenagers that shot at me and planned to shoot the unknown friend from before. the students from inside the house would soon enter the backyard garden, and it seemed those same teenagers with guns would sneak into it, so i tried to warn them. at the same time, a flood of fellow students would pass through the garden and street, so everyone decided to scatter among them and blend in, which i would do as well. by then i think i turned human again
...i feel like more must've happened, i just don't really remember clearly
it led from that to something about me living as a flying drone of some kind, hovering across a town and stopping above an unknown schoolmate's home. they were being targeted by older teenagers with rapid-firing guns, and after a little bit of hovering, i would be spotted and shot at while i narrowly strafed out of the way of that real-life bullet hell for a suspenseful minute, and then eventually slipped past their line of sight
i reached a very familiar home, reminiscent of the one belonging to that family member i've been caring for irl. i hid inside, still hovering, staying out of everyone's sight while a few other students wandered in. i would revolve behind walls and furniture according to where people went, but would eventually be found. nothing really happened until i hovered back outside and spotted those same teenagers that shot at me and planned to shoot the unknown friend from before. the students from inside the house would soon enter the backyard garden, and it seemed those same teenagers with guns would sneak into it, so i tried to warn them. at the same time, a flood of fellow students would pass through the garden and street, so everyone decided to scatter among them and blend in, which i would do as well. by then i think i turned human again
...i feel like more must've happened, i just don't really remember clearly
for everyone: lunchtime? stay hydrated <3
dave: "we've all eaten and hydrated!"Achromalia wrote:
...shit
back there for two weeks again... i didnt really savor this halfway-misshapen peace soon enough
a stagnant humid dread looms overhead. i just want to sleep and dream and sleep and dream and do nothing and have no role in anything and sink into empty listlessness forevertoday's dream was......very very interesting, surprisingly halfway coherent and surprisingly long. it started somewhere within a very familiar school cafeteria, briefly meeting students/friends i had known from school life across an entire decade. not sure exactly what happened, it was a generally ambiguous kind of experience between positive/negative moments and relationships that were either unexpectedly enduring or unexpectedly cold
it led from that to something about me living as a flying drone of some kind, hovering across a town and stopping above an unknown schoolmate's home. they were being targeted by older teenagers with rapid-firing guns, and after a little bit of hovering, i would be spotted and shot at while i narrowly strafed out of the way of that real-life bullet hell for a suspenseful minute, and then eventually slipped past their line of sight
i reached a very familiar home, reminiscent of the one belonging to that family member i've been caring for irl. i hid inside, still hovering, staying out of peoples' sight while a few other students wandered in. i would revolve behind walls and furniture according to where people went, but would eventually be found. nothing really happened until i hovered back outside and spotted those same teenagers that shot at me and planned to shoot the unknown friend from before. the students from inside the house would soon enter the backyard garden, and it seemed those same teenagers with guns would sneak into it, so i tried to warn them. at the same time, a flood of fellow students would pass through the garden and street, so everyone decided to scatter among them and blend in, which i would do as well. by then i think i turned human again
...i feel like more must've happened, i just don't really remember clearly
for everyone: lunchtime? stay hydrated <3
bambi: "make sure you do the same."
expunged: "mhm <3"
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "we've eaten + hydrated!"
ps!bambi: "make sure you eat + hydrate too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaaa <3"
for everyone: medication check? stretch and exercise a little if you'd like to ^^
dave: "we've taken our meds!"Achromalia wrote:
for everyone: medication check? stretch and exercise a little if you'd like to ^^
bambi: "we've all stretched + exercised too."
expunged, zoned out: "..."
bandu: "aaa!! <3"
ps!dave: "we've all taken our meds!"
ps!bambi: "we've stretched and exercised too."
ps!expunged: "mhm."
ps!bandu: "aaa,,"
why is time suddenly passing so quickly :(
hmmn
hmmn
for everyone: nutrition and hydration check <3
dave: "we've eaten and hydrated!"Achromalia wrote:
for everyone: nutrition and hydration check <3
bambi: "make sure you do the same."
expunged: "aaa..."
bandu: "hehe :3"
ps!dave: "we've all eaten + hydrated!"
ps!bambi: "make sure you eat + hydrate too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu, zoned out: "..."
edit: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too!! <3
cheese
wheeze
im listening to "In Utero" rn. i think it's my fav nirvana album
weary
i swear bro this cheap airbuds is sooo bad
oh
,,,
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-corbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too <3
hopefully i can draw something today lol :')
hopefully i can draw something today lol :')
for everyone: nutrition and hydration!! and hello :>
dave: "hello! we've eaten and hydrated!"Achromalia wrote:
for everyone: nutrition and hydration!! and hello :>
bambi: "make sure you eat and hydrate too."
expunged: "aaa..."
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "hello-hello! we've all eaten + hydrated!"
ps!bambi: "make sure you do the same."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaaa <3"
for everyone: medications to take, stretches and exercise plans to make, as always ^^
dave: "we've taken our meds!"Achromalia wrote:
for everyone: medications to take, stretches and exercise plans to make, as always ^^
bambi: "we've all stretched and exercised too."
expunged: "mhm <3"
bandu: "aaa!!"
ps!dave: "we've all taken our meds!"
ps!bambi: "we've stretched + exercised too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaaa <3"
all day fire fresh!
owe weight eye fur gore
on fortune ate
7:27 p.m.
one of two kbity
kbity,,Achromalia wrote:
one of two kbity
doodling, but not really getting anywhere...
edit: gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too <3
naught