tired... eyes heavy
its been a long a time since i actively addressed/evaluated the game here, and this seems like a good turning point since some new faces have arrived:
thread necromancy seems to be less optimized than it was just a few months ago. there continues to be a score monopoly because of the way this is played between us all but it just isnt the same when im not maximizing it with overwhelming force and sharp timing like how it was back then, and i have a score i want to reach...
people are sleeping and waking at vague times of the day and are usually either casual players or players who are preoccupied by their own lives and social groups and interests
the return of jxrhythmer is interesting, and im curious how that rivalry with sametdze will go, but... its so slow and scattered across different points of time where that rivalry isnt really very coherent or potent-- and everyone else is just... kind of visiting to kill time or socialize (honestly same tho, the reasons i play is both for competition and socializing, and lately im more invested in socializing with the hope that maybe i can open up to people or have something to talk about...)
i dont know what i want to do here, because i play this game with an extremely unhealthy degree of obsession and effort and... i have to realize there is only so much time i can spend here without eventually needing to live real life-- i play with arbitrary goals like "maintain a win streak of either 9 or 13 months" and "get the highest monthly total score of the game" or "maintain a satisfying aesthetic pattern between the consecutive total scores of each month", aimlessly toggling from one goal to another... im not sure what i feel about that, but i have at least three more months to find out what i'll do about it
anyway;;
mizu_chuu wrote:
Achromalia wrote:
actually i do have a question for mizu-- what did you like about chihiro in particular? was it the personality and vibes? was it the story? :O
I really like his personality in general, he reminds me of myself irl !! I'm quite closed off, staying at home due to me attending online school and overall being antisocial, which has lead to me kinda being mentally attached to the internet in general.
I like his vibes in general, and his backstory! It just interests me a lot in general :3
mm, understandable! ig im basically the same exact way if its described like that, a closed-off shut-in for one reason or another (for chihiro it looks more like a matter of anxiety and bullying and insecurity and shame), and the internet has been where i lived for most of my life... but in my case i think the reasoning is different and more specific in ways that dont quite align with his story
i... would like to share more, but idk how i would want to describe that yet, and im already awfully paranoid about my internet presence and wish i had more control over my history with myself or others online, wishing i didnt overshare and make it impossible to really truly be who i want to be without there being reason for someone to question that...
that being said, i love chihiro as a character, and i admire his compassion and kindness a lot. i admire his courage and willingness to change too, which is something i dont really have even when i might idealize it-- im simply too fearful, and i dont really trust that i would want most of the unpredictable results i can imagine of whatever would happen if i tried to do something about/with myself
i wonder what he would be like if he had the chance to live in peace after resolving his complex and growing as a person...
i feel like there's a lot worth exploring about him and others as characters... idk, what do you think?
