i see...
(getting food now)
lots of thoughts that wont form clearly. lots of sadness that i try to savor from myself, bittersweet feelings and nostalgia for lives and experiences i never had, for people i've never been. i wish my personality was a little more adaptable, and a lot more varied. i wish i could sincerely experience and express things the way others do, and although i do try to appreciate my own experiences and expressions... they dont seem to surface very easily, and theyre usually so hazy and foggy... after all, most of my experience is that of watching other people and loving them through that
it doesnt really make for a good individual life of my own, though...
but i guess i never wanted the one i had anyway