11:46 a.m.

taking a nice break

12:52PM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:07 AM.

quickly checking the forums before this alg 2 mathematics class starts.

abraker wants the speech done. thanks for the not-exactly-practically-timed encouragement.

Fucking I'm free. Its 4:03 PM. Words cannot describe how hyped I am for this weekend

Ooooh its gun b good

5:04PM

FUCK

reuni wrote:

5:04PM

FUCK

That doesnt sound gud

9:51PM

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH

FUCK

edit: 10:00PM

guess i need to learn to clear my bases...

or be a better person

iunno

9:12 pm wtf going on with Reuni hlelo

8:31 PM PST.

I can't help but think my work is dogshit.

I gotta keep figuring out my way around this and keep going.

12:05

An endless stream of thoughts. I really need to clear my head a bit.

Usually, I find Saturdays quite boring and uneventful. However, while today is barely an exception, at least I have some studying to do to break me out of this vicious cycle of doing the same stuff over and over. And I had to write some story plans in class yesterday. But I never made them stories. It's not required to do, but I want to develop the ideas into stories. Maybe show the teacher afterwards. I might start to type stories for fun again.

I want to get involved with the real world. That really helps with boredom. Surprising to people who know me, but I kinda enjoy being around people, going to new places and being involved. It's fair for me to assume that the only thing most of my peers know about me is that I'm quiet and anxious. I always distance myself from others because I get very scared of messing up if I try to socialise. A friend of mine, she helped me realise that I should be socialising around 2 months back, or possibly somewhat less. However, as getting involved with the real world goes, I'm horribly naive, with going out, and social skills. I've always lived an isolated lifestyle. Which I thought I enjoyed. I was calm. I was safe. But I never really noticed how upset I always was. I've never really felt anything, except fear and sometimes sadness. But I thought that was pretty normal, and feelings are all a show, an act. I feel genuine happiness now. My smiles aren't faked to please others. Annoyingly, not being used to this, I always feel some urge to immediately hide my smiles. But it's starting to lessen. Aches a ton, too. Which is also starting to loosen. Others have noticed and it seems I'm becoming more approachable. Needless to say, I adore this friend.

I have those 2 hours a week to socialise with someone and go to, for example, a café, and this time is precious to me. Which could be a reason why Saturdays seem so boring. I'm practically waiting for this day to come. I love Mondays, because that's when we hang out. I wake up with a smile on a Monday morning, while others in the house don't want to wake up!

I've been up since 6:30, which is quite a good sleep for me nowadays. And 7:00 is amazing. I remember when I've used to be able to sleep until like 11:00 on a weekend. Great times. Or was wasting life away to mess in a dream world truly great? Maybe I quite prefer it like this, spending more time actually doing stuff.

Carmlillball wrote:

12:05

An endless stream of thoughts. I really need to clear my head a bit.

Usually, I find Saturdays quite boring and uneventful. However, while today is barely an exception, at least I have some studying to do to break me out of this vicious cycle of doing the same stuff over and over. And I had to write some story plans in class yesterday. But I never made them stories. It's not required to do, but I want to develop the ideas into stories. Maybe show the teacher afterwards. I might start to type stories for fun again.

I want to get involved with the real world. That really helps with boredom. Surprising to people who know me, but I kinda enjoy being around people, going to new places and being involved. It's fair for me to assume that the only thing most of my peers know about me is that I'm quiet and anxious. I always distance myself from others because I get very scared of messing up if I try to socialise. A friend of mine, she helped me realise that I should be socialising around 2 months back, or possibly somewhat less. However, as getting involved with the real world goes, I'm horribly naive, with going out, and social skills. I've always lived an isolated lifestyle. Which I thought I enjoyed. I was calm. I was safe. But I never really noticed how upset I always was. I've never really felt anything, except fear and sometimes sadness. But I thought that was pretty normal, and feelings are all a show, an act. I feel genuine happiness now. My smiles aren't faked to please others. Annoyingly, not being used to this, I always feel some urge to immediately hide my smiles. But it's starting to lessen. Aches a ton, too. Which is also starting to loosen. Others have noticed and it seems I'm becoming more approachable. Needless to say, I adore this friend.

I have those 2 hours a week to socialise with someone and go to, for example, a café, and this time is precious to me. Which could be a reason why Saturdays seem so boring. I'm practically waiting for this day to come. I love Mondays, because that's when we hang out. I wake up with a smile on a Monday morning, while others in the house don't want to wake up!

I've been up since 6:30, which is quite a good sleep for me nowadays. And 7:00 is amazing. I remember when I've used to be able to sleep until like 11:00 on a weekend. Great times. Or was wasting life away to mess in a dream world truly great? Maybe I quite prefer it like this, spending more time actually doing stuff.

Woah. That's a lot of stuff I never would have guessed without you saying it.

I, uh. That's kind of weird, because honestly, a lot of the stuff is the same for me. That's part of the reason I've been around these forums so much lately. It's a place for me to express and try to feel and sort of figure things out because I'm not very good at doing that. Emotions, and all. It's something I'm working on and expressing myself here is one of the ways I'm doing it.

So, good on you, I think. It seems like you're figuring stuff out. Hope it all goes well. Writing it out can really help.

Hiya! c:

Same story for me. Online is a very helpful starting line. I also hope it all goes well for you!

2:57PM

ITS HOT

EDIT: 8:39PM

i feel the same as before except this time im eating a hot pocket

13:02 Fk my angry rants

9:44am

Bed

2.04am

WTF AM I DOING STILL AWAKE

KotoriIsMyWaifu wrote:

2.04am

WTF AM I DOING STILL AWAKE

I don't know.

19:48 In a negative mood. Maybe hanging in the Osu! forums will help.

Carmlillball wrote:

KotoriIsMyWaifu wrote:

2.04am

WTF AM I DOING STILL AWAKE

I don't know.

19:48 In a negative mood. Maybe hanging in the Osu! forums will help.

I'm late, but I hope you're doin better

3:12 PM and I have a headache need to drink water ahhhh

3:23 AM.

Yes, I'm still up.

Don't judge me.

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

3:23 AM.

Yes, I'm still up.

Don't judge me.

It's 4:10 PM and the only thing I'm thinking about is just how much I'm judging Tad for being awake a 3:23 AM in the morning. I can't believe it. What an absolute madman. A singular degenerate. My disappointment is immeasurable. 3:23 AM! How ridiculous.

Puzzle wrote:

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

3:23 AM.

Yes, I'm still up.

Don't judge me.

It's 4:10 PM and the only thing I'm thinking about is just how much I'm judging Tad for being awake a 3:23 AM in the morning. I can't believe it. What an absolute madman. A singular degenerate. My disappointment is immeasurable. 3:23 AM! How ridiculous.

4:45 AM.

It's me again.

No, I haven't went to bed yet.

Kinda want to drink some tea.

Yes, tea at 4 AM.

Don't judge me.

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

Puzzle wrote:

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

3:23 AM.

Yes, I'm still up.

Don't judge me.

It's 4:10 PM and the only thing I'm thinking about is just how much I'm judging Tad for being awake a 3:23 AM in the morning. I can't believe it. What an absolute madman. A singular degenerate. My disappointment is immeasurable. 3:23 AM! How ridiculous.

4:45 AM.

It's me again.

No, I haven't went to bed yet.

Kinda want to drink some tea.

Yes, tea at 4 AM.

Don't judge me.

It's okay. All judgements have been absolved. Staying up till 4am just to drink some tea is pretty reasonable and I'd do it too. Just make sure you're not drinking the tea at 5am. Then we have a problem.

Puzzle wrote:

Just make sure you're not drinking the tea at 5am. Then we have a problem.

5:03 AM.

Uhh...

Oops.

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

Puzzle wrote:

Just make sure you're not drinking the tea at 5am. Then we have a problem.

5:03 AM.

Uhh...

Oops.

It's 5:36 PM. I'm calm. I'm reasonable. I'm not judging anybody. Nope, not here, no judgements here, just happy, nice, fun times that don't involve any judgements. You're really free to drink tea whenever you want, Tad. I swear.

It's 4:08 PM PST. I'm calm. I'm reasonable. I'm not amused by these search results. Nope, not here, no intriguing results here.

Just a casual, totally intentional, typical time of day that isn't spent on calculating a series of numbers for hilarious search results.

9:39 p.m
That's enough posting on FG, I should play osu now

4.09pm

God, I'm starving, probably just going to buy char siew rice

9:34 Nervous to go out although it's 4 hours 30 mins away, but hey, at least I'm with my mate. ^-^
It's a looong wait, yet I don't quite feel like doing anything. So I'm just hanging on the forums.

9:49 Also, not sure whether to eat breakfast or not. I kinda want to please her by saying I've eaten breakfast today (I usually don't) and to be truthful about it. But there's also this part of me which wants me to lie and say I did when I actually didn't, because she wouldn't notice anyway. Or just don't eat and be honest. But she seems kinda concerned about my lack of eating. But there's nothing to be concerned about. My brain's in a horrible muddle. :/

10:09 Horribly confused. About, everything.

13:24 I'm a nervous wreck but also excited. Quite happy with the box I've half made. Now just needs the lid.

Puzzle wrote:

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT TAD HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS CRAP! TEA AT 5AM?!?!?! FUCKING 5 AM?!?! YOU DEGENERATE IM DISUGSTED I NEED TO GO BLEACH MYSELF BECAEUSE OF HOW DEPRAVED YOU ARE YOU SAVAGE

23:55

;_;

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

Puzzle wrote:

I love you Tad you're amazing I can't believe you would drink tea at 5AM that's so brave, truly a woke individual

23:55

;_;

Why are you crying tad? I don't understand. Do you not love to be showered in compliments?

Puzzle wrote:

12:21

;_;

Why are you crying, Puzzle? I don't understand. Do you not love to be misquoted?

Achromalia wrote:

Puzzle wrote:

12:21

;_;

Hamburger

2:14 AM

Decided to have tea now instead of 5 AM.

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

Puzzle wrote:

Honestly, these posts are like quantum superpositioned particles. You don't know what state they're in until you look at them. They could say anything. You only really know when someone else quotes them.

I swear to god Puzzle you better shut the fuck up with your blackmagic fuckery quantum posts. This forum isn't no goddamned Schrodinger's cat.

Did you guys know that water is one of the only things that expands when it freezes (besides some metals?) This is actually one the biggest reasons why life exists on planet Earth. Funny how nature be like that, huh? They don't think it be like it do, but it is.

It's 2:20PM and I swear I must've jumped to another timeline because I don't think any of you guys said this stuff.

Puzzle wrote:

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

Puzzle wrote:

*sees a customer* Hello sir, what will you take?

...

WE WILL TAKE JERUSALEM!!!

DEUS VULT

DEUS VULT

DEUS VULT

2:20PM

DEUS VULT

DEUS VULT

DEUS VULT

2:26 AM.

Huh.

7:49

I can't do this anymore.

17:20 Had a small salad (cucumbers and carrots) (it was meant to be medium but I didn't finish). This is sufficient enough. I don't want anything else. Feeling bad for having avoided the conversation that started up. I know better than to do this, I know this now. I should've been honest.

12:06 p.m.

hatching does not take this fucking long
my jaw is sore
my bug is also nice
getting hotter
he's performing with his lemon juice
1 inch could draw a decent amount of blood

1:27PM

MORI E OKAERI

reuni wrote:

1:27PM

MORI E OKAERI

Oh God

Its 12:55 PM. I'm wondering what my arts gonna turn out like in a year.

Puzzle wrote:

reuni wrote:

1:27PM

MORI E OKAERI

Oh God

Its 12:55 PM. I'm wondering what my arts gonna turn out like in a year.

rā

1:18 AM

Party is over
Soredemo odoritakatta
Nemurenai kurai
Jounetsu no hi wa itsushika
Itsu no hi ni ka

4:34PM

🅱️ruh i rly just posted a novel in ask the person below lmao

Its 3:53 and dear fucking lord I dont think I've ever seen a company ship as much stuff to us as one did today

Help I'm drowning in repair orders

5:11PM

i dont like being sweaty

7:59 server maintenance bout to end

It's 7:20PM and an absolute unit of a fucking tornado is heading straight towards me

Guess I might die shrug




Supposedly like 1mile large

Edit: It went North of me I'm good

7:26pm


so if you get a giant bed, you don't have much bedroom, but you have lots of bed room


huh

8:50 p.m.

cali kids sure get out late

9:39pm

i feel like charging my phone so i can set a alarm to wake up early tomorrow because tomorrow is AR Party in class and the day before the last day of school ^_^

8:10 I've waken up really late, at 7:30. However, I did also have some difficulties sleeping, so this could be a reason why. Yesterday, I woke up quite early. Currently just messing on the forums, and will study some Geography again at some point. Probably after I email a friend. I'm pretty good with my knowledge of all of the information, but I kinda want to learn the specifics so I know them better. As for the emailing, I don't want to do it right now.
I think way too much, it kinda sucks. I just want to be relaxed and free from thoughts, just for a second, but I know that isn't happening.

3:44 pie

Fuck I wish I had something to eat for breakfast 7:30AM

14:00 Mum's decided to order dinner really early. I don't mind much, it's just a slight change from normal schedule.

00:07 opm

Its 4:31 PM. Busy day but damn sometimes things turn out well

2:32 PM PST.

just got home.

6:00 p.m

I just received a message from someone I knew 3 years ago, I'm glad they're doing ok

6:11 am
relieeeeved 😭😭😭😭

5:48PM. I seriously can't remember what days are my days off for mania practice. I think it's... Tuesday anddddd friday?

Shit. I played on Tuesday. Guess I'll take today off.

7:48 pM

catscatscats

CATS

6:00 PM.

nothing.

hungry.

apathy.

10:41 p.m
Using the old osu website design, I know it best. Also, should probably start my homework...

7:46 Today's great! I've been mainly scrolling through Reddit.. For 2 hours! Where's the time going today?! These wholesome memes kinda make me wanna cry though. :3

9:30 I hope she isn't angry I completely changed the topic and refused to answer her question. She would probably understand due to it being a difficult topic even for me to understand fully. She's very understanding. But I'll know when we next meet again.

10:32 I keep having these moments where I feel faint and my chest feels quite heavy. Sometimes my eyes also go weird, like making everything brighter I guess? I've been having this for a while, but they've been becoming more and more frequent. I keep being told it's because of exam anxiety but why I'm pretty chill right now. Probably the most chill I've been all month.

13:08 Oof I just woke up, should probably do something productive today

13:43 bored, thinking about finals

18:49 Joyful and content!

8:22 Maybe I was wrong for being so open.

11:09AM

STREAM ZUU!!!!

16:13 Heh.. Kinda anxious rn.

Its 12pm andddd... Relaxed slow Friday. At the end of the month. What kind of black magic fuckery is this. I'm enjoying it after the last two days.

10:17 AM.

16 days until proposed due date. might want to postpone.

Achromalia wrote:

10:17 AM.

16 days until proposed due date. might want to postpone.

For what? 16 days, honestly, is quite a bit of time.

2:40pm. Fuck this has been a really nice Friday in contrast to the last three days. Only had to ship one thing. P much no stress today. Cant wait for the weekend. Whee. Gonna do more anatomee.

12:56 PM.

16 days until I the day I expect to release something. I'm not in the mood to wind up silent for another 4 months like last time. "Achromatism - Atrophy" isn't doing too well as a result.

Achromalia wrote:

12:56 PM.

16 days until I the day I expect to release something. I'm not in the mood to wind up silent for another 4 months like last time. "Achromatism - Atrophy" isn't doing too well as a result.

Super good luck then.

4:36PM

holy shit everything that happens from after the 6th badge to the 7th badge in pokemon b2/w2 is GARBAGE wtf??

edit: why are the legendary pokemon just kinda... appearing... for no reason????? why are these routes (except for the really long one) absolute trash for catching pokemon??? who’s idea was it to let u catch a lvl 42 sewaddle/tranquill?????? yea lemme just give u a lvl 40 fuckin weedle, essentially. whats the point in ANY of these towns other than like 2 sentences of story, if even??????
WHY ARE THE LEGENDARIES JUST APPEARING FOR NO REASON???? like theyre just chilling in the middle of these shitty routes... no special dialouge or hideout or anything except for their cry i guess. PLEASE dont be like this for the rest of the game i was having such a fun time.

3:41pm just realized that chara/reuni's timezone is EST/EDT and my timezone is CDT/CST.

*cries in italic*


edit: today's the day after the last day of school, i'm officially on summer break

10:26 Feeling quite ill, but got to study some Geography at 10:30, or maybe 11:00. Not sure whether or not studying English is necessary. I write stories and ideas for them in my spare time so that part of the exam would just be me doing a hobby! However, I write sci-fi and fantasy, while the exam wants boring realistic stories. I think that they can be historical, as the teacher encouraged me to practice writing for a war story idea I had, so I might brush up on my knowledge of Ancient Greece to make my story interesting, and to have more of an idea of what to write about. Quite sad how I know more about history than I do about present teenage life, due to my lack of real life social interaction.

Somebody told me
That you have a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend

Carmlillball wrote:

Somebody told me
That you have a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend

11:33AM

FFS, it has to be a trap, if it's like this.
I thought about it, months ago.


12:24PM
That Card aside...
READ THE FIELD, YOU DAMNED STUPID!
12:25PM
AND THE CARDS' DESCRIPTION!

6:42
Meds

45Traeath wrote:

Carmlillball wrote:

Somebody told me
That you have a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend

11:33AM

FFS, it has to be a trap, if it's like this.
I thought about it, months ago.


12:24PM
That Card aside...
READ THE FIELD, YOU DAMNED STUPID!
12:25PM
AND THE CARDS' DESCRIPTION!

11:44 ^ Seems interesting.

Quite bored. Now decided to space out geography revision throughout the day, as this would be most helpful. Not sure whether to have a bath today, or tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll need to be out at 14:00, which is more than enough time, but I'm just so bored right now, and not feeling like doing much, and, either later today, or tomorrow, I'll probably be chatting a lot beforehand about plans, with the friend I'll be out with. Or she'll probably be sneaky on me. Any of these will do. I just like hanging out with her.

Carmlillball wrote:

11:44 ^ Seems interesting.

10:24PM
A'ight, what to do next, now that I'm done with this.

45Traeath wrote:

Carmlillball wrote:

11:44 ^ Seems interesting.

I don't see which part is but if the context is wanted...

Both.

21:27 Not that worried now. It's all well.

4:48 Been awake for 10 minutes. Woke up way too early! But l cant sleep again!

S:48 Listening to some old rock, and don't know what else to do.

04:35PM

Oh no, not mango again...

17:44 Upset and regretful. Of, just everything!
20:23 I'm feeling pretty relaxed and joyful.
What is this? A complete contradiction of the above statement? Yes, yes it is.

4:44 p.m.

city lights are pretty

6:59 am

About to take finals test. I hate my life.

7:09 p.m.

PLS FUCK OFF DOGS

Journal wrote:

7:09 p.m.

PLS FUCK OFF DOGS

n o

8:22PM

god i wanna play football or something

18:52 Now I have school again, I finally have a life!
Somewhat

1258 PM. It has taken over 20 minutes for my work computer to boot up. Fuck.

Edit: I read hitchhikers guide to the galaxy when I was younger and liked it a lot, but not nearly as much as I do rereading it now. Douglas Adam's is amazing.

11:06PM

*Weather Forecast tells "16°C/29°C"*

Kae used two "Blazing!" Cards, holy ****...

6:46PM

IRIS’ HAXORUS HAS A FUCKING FOCUS SASH THATS A LEGIT RUN KILLER SJSJSJSJSJSJ

8:02 PM.

Anatomy practice time. I only have 12 days left of my allotted 4 weeks of anatomy drawing. Less than 2 weeks, I'm over halfway done. Progress has definitely been made, too, so I'm all looking forward to when I'll be finished.

7:10
Must get ready for school soon (I mostly did earlier, but I'm waking until 7:30 for the rest, when my siblings wake up). I'm begging myself to believe that everything's going to be okay. Somehow my 2 hour exam in the morning isn't the cause of this massive heap of anxiety, but it sure doesn't help. I hope everything's alright, I hope. Great way to start the morning, being all worried and upset like this. Why can't I just stop guessing what will happen? Why can't I just accept whatever happens?

Carmlillball wrote:

7:10
Must get ready for school soon (I mostly did earlier, but I'm waking until 7:30 for the rest, when my siblings wake up). I'm begging myself to believe that everything's going to be okay. Somehow my 2 hour exam in the morning isn't the cause of this massive heap of anxiety, but it sure doesn't help. I hope everything's alright, I hope. Great way to start the morning, being all worried and upset like this. Why can't I just stop guessing what will happen? Why can't I just accept whatever happens?

GHFFF I hope it turned out okay, anxiety is the fucking worst

It's 8:25PM andddddd I'm thinking about work, I suppose. Hope it turns out to be an alright day.

Puzzle wrote:

Carmlillball wrote:

7:10
Must get ready for school soon (I mostly did earlier, but I'm waking until 7:30 for the rest, when my siblings wake up). I'm begging myself to believe that everything's going to be okay. Somehow my 2 hour exam in the morning isn't the cause of this massive heap of anxiety, but it sure doesn't help. I hope everything's alright, I hope. Great way to start the morning, being all worried and upset like this. Why can't I just stop guessing what will happen? Why can't I just accept whatever happens?

GHFFF I hope it turned out okay, anxiety is the fucking worst

It's 8:25PM andddddd I'm thinking about work, I suppose. Hope it turns out to be an alright day.

15:31
Hiya!
Thanks a ton! It really does mean a lot for you to care!
I hope your day's also going well!

Sadly, this anxiety's more long term than just today. It's more worrying about the future. Friend found out something about me, they were concerned, and yesterday promised that they'll talk to someone of higher authority in this group thing we're both in, and I don't know what the Hell is going on. I know this person has quite a close tie with the school and I worry about the special needs staff of the school knowing about this, and possibly having a meeting with my mum, and making my mum anxious about this thing. I've always tried to semi cover it up for her and don't want my cover absolutely destroyed. The matter isn't big of a deal for me. I think that everyone else is way too concerned. I'm personally really concerned about everyone blowing it out of proportion. Every day, I panic, today is the day I'm going to be questioned. Today is the day this person who's been told everything will want to meet up with me to discuss it. And it hurts when the concerns I've sent this friend weren't getting answered at the time. I've only just came back from school, so I haven't checked email yet to see if she's answered my emails, but I very much think that today will come to the same disappointment. The confusion hurts. And I don't feel like going through that stuff again right now, so I'm not checking for the time being. Either if I go on there my questions will be answered and I'll be more relaxed, or I'm going to be disappointed and end up horribly anxious and upset. I think I'm coming to terms now with just how bad my anxiety really is. Opens up a new load of self-loathe. My bravery has been all I've ever liked about myself, because I love taking challenges and facing my fears. This 'bravery', it's completely fake, faked for myself. I should not be this emotional, I hate how emotional I am. Good times are amazing and build me up, making me feel like a queen. Bad times completely screw me over. There's no middle, and that's tiring.

My head is truly messed today. Might just need to get off the internet for now.

That sounds even worse than what I thought. Sheesh. It sounds like you're in a rough spot.

I dont know how much random internet advice can really help, but the way I defeat (or at least fight) my anxiety is by putting things in perspective.

Things happen. Time passes. At the end of a year, will I care about what's happening to make me anxious? How about 5 years? 10? The answer is generally no. And how much of my life do I have left to live? Quite a lot more than just a year, or 5, or 10. So I just tryo to focus on the things that will help me long term. Maybe what I'm anxious about is something that will help me in the long run. I stop caring about it so much then. The important thing is moving forward and working through the things that are hard so I can have a better future.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is often the things that make you anxious aren't things that matter in the long run. And if they are, the most you can do about it is try to work on whatever it is. In the end, I find worrying almost never benefits me except if I take it and turn it into motivation. So the situation sounds scary, but I hope you can use it to your advantage. Anxiety really does suck, though; I hope it passes soon.

12:25PM

my altaria killed the haxorus bc it tried to dual chop it and missed

run saved

Puzzle wrote:

That sounds even worse than what I thought. Sheesh. It sounds like you're in a rough spot.

I dont know how much random internet advice can really help, but the way I defeat (or at least fight) my anxiety is by putting things in perspective.

Things happen. Time passes. At the end of a year, will I care about what's happening to make me anxious? How about 5 years? 10? The answer is generally no. And how much of my life do I have left to live? Quite a lot more than just a year, or 5, or 10. So I just tryo to focus on the things that will help me long term. Maybe what I'm anxious about is something that will help me in the long run. I stop caring about it so much then. The important thing is moving forward and working through the things that are hard so I can have a better future.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is often the things that make you anxious aren't things that matter in the long run. And if they are, the most you can do about it is try to work on whatever it is. In the end, I find worrying almost never benefits me except if I take it and turn it into motivation. So the situation sounds scary, but I hope you can use it to your advantage. Anxiety really does suck, though; I hope it passes soon.

Hello!

I really thank you for the advice! Very encouraging! I'll try to think more like this!


18:26 Finally had the courage to open emails. And yes, it crashed to the ground. I ended up just sending a email, apologising for bothering her. I've tried to talk, but clearly she didn't want this. I'm not checking anymore, I'm really not. I'm done with that bullshit, getting my hopes high for them to fall. Shame. Shame on me. I hate making others upset, and I feel I've done just that.

08:01PM

Journal wrote:

I’m assuming we’re talking about the major tennis tournament, [...].

Yes, this, sorry for the lack of accuracy.