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The Awpventurer- All Aboard the Bandwagon

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Total Posts
124
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Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You can't help yourself--LH left his door unlocked and so you open it. His room is set up almost like yours; a dresser, a bed and a computer desk--but LuigiHann, who wears more clothes than you, has a closet. His computer is password protected after you and Ival went into his private documents last week.

There is no one to kill yet.
Mashley
2,042 posts
Joined September 2008
Mashley
Punch a hole through the computer monitor
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Play dress up with LuigiHann's fashionable clothing.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Password protect that, bitch! Now you can see LuigiHann's bland beige wallpaper through the hole you made. You get the vague feeling that someone is lurking nearby, watching but you don't care at the moment.

LuigiHann's clothes smell like cheetos and failure, no way you're putting them on.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Punch a hole in the wall.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


That's enough wanton destruction of property for now.
Mashley
2,042 posts
Joined September 2008
Mashley
Go to foul's room
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


It seems foul is more cautious than his comrades; the door is locked. You can still sense someone watching you.
Mashley
2,042 posts
Joined September 2008
Mashley
Punch the door down
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


That's enough wanton destruction of property for now.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Knock on door.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You knock--how polite!--but no answer. He is either playing Aion or in the living room.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Enter living room!
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Sure enough, in a room that seems like it was drawn by an 18 year old girl with no sense of perspective you find foulcoon slouched on the couch watching TV. You hear sounds from the kitchen where LuigiHann is still cooking breakfast. Ival is finishing up his shower or dressing. Sinistro has yet to show his face--you could have sworn you felt him lurking earlier but missed your chance to catch him. Tode is presumably at her own house.

In the living room is foul, the couch, the TV (which is currently showing Law and Order for some reason), a cabinet, and the collective gaming systems of the awpforce. foul does not look like he will give up either the couch or the TV.
Xanek
489 posts
Joined February 2009
Xanek
Punch a hole in his face
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You can't afford to lose the usage of foul's Toyota Impala.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Help LuigiHann cook breakfast!
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


What are you, some kind of faggot? Anyway, LuigiHann finished cooking breakfast--eggs and bacon, how original. You hear Ival coming down the hallway.
Xanek
489 posts
Joined February 2009
Xanek
Call Ival names
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Eat breakfast and call Ival names.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Ival does not appreciate your attacks on him; he eats your breakfast and informs you that if you continue he will stab your remaining eye with his afropik. Well, that's what you get, asshole.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Give Ival a hug.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Well, at least he didn't stab your eye.
LadySuburu
80 posts
Joined June 2008
LadySuburu
Get Afropik. (Remove from chest first if possible.)
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Give the afropik back to Ival.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Uh oh
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Ask Ival for a Band-Aid.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Ival is not too pleased with you at the moment.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Ask LuigiHann for help.
Kitsunemimi
2,188 posts
Joined April 2009
Kitsunemimi
Smother paper towels on the wound.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Does LuigiHann look like a doctor to you? (hint)

There is simply too much blood in your beautiful body--paper towels cannot staunch the flow. You are starting to feel lightheaded and you are staining the carpet.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Call for an ambulance Sinistro!
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You lost your chance to call Sinistro when he was lurking and you don't trust ambulances. You've got to find a way to stop the blood flow before you pass out.
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Lie on the floor and roll around helplessly.
Kitsunemimi
2,188 posts
Joined April 2009
Kitsunemimi
Grab some gauze bandage rolls and wrap it around your chest firmly, then lie on your back on the ground to keep the injury elevated above the heart.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun

(yes there is empty space I'm too lazy to fix it)

You passed out anyway but your beard came through with blood transfusions while you drooled all over the tile! You're not sure where the blood came from but somehow you find it best not to ask.
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
Search for Sinistro.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Your best bet is to wait until he is lurking again; if he is not lurking then Sinistro is generally unavailable and does not want to be found. You never did eat breakfast or find Tode and beat her to a pulp.
Dragvon
osu! Alumni
2,269 posts
Joined June 2009
Dragvon
For god sake, call tode using someone's iphone :3
Xanek
489 posts
Joined February 2009
Xanek
and then beat tode up
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You take off the bandages to find yourself fully healed--that's the power of your beard! You somehow find yourself with peppy's iphone and so call Tode angrily. However, you find yourself swayed as usual by her soft southern accent and convince yourself that she's just a silly little female, no need to beat her up. You decide just to steal from LuigiHann's secret stash of emergency cash and buy that new computer you were thinking about anyway later.
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
Whisper sweet nothings to Tode, get off the phone, and finally eat some goddamn breakfast.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


There's no food in the house, but a flattered Tode overhears your dilemma and offers to come over and make you breakfast.
Xanek
489 posts
Joined February 2009
Xanek
Tell tode to make a sammich
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
with love~




uh I mean lots of mayonaise or some shit like that :v
Xanek
489 posts
Joined February 2009
Xanek
^that - the love part
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Tode will make what she wants to make, don't tell her what to do. You secretly laugh at her pout.
DeathxShinigami
1,176 posts
Joined November 2008
DeathxShinigami
Wait for food then praise Tode for her actions.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Pancakes! They are delicious.
DeathxShinigami
1,176 posts
Joined November 2008
DeathxShinigami
Eat pancakes, asks Tode if she would like some as well.
CheeseWarlock
osu! Alumni
1,185 posts
Joined May 2008
CheeseWarlock
Don't just eat them, savour them.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


N-no...Tode is on a diet (again).

An awkward silence falls.

The pancakes are pretty fuckin' delicious.
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
rub your belly in anticipation of the next course
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You're pretty full already and Tode doesn't like cooking that much. Best wait until lunch.

For reference, it is 10 AM.
DeathxShinigami
1,176 posts
Joined November 2008
DeathxShinigami
Ask Tode if she has any plans for the day.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Tode tells you she was just planning on running various errands and then maybe going clothes shopping. Why, would you like to come?
DeathxShinigami
1,176 posts
Joined November 2008
DeathxShinigami
Yes, he would like to go shopping with you.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You've never really expressed interest in shopping with Tode but for some reason you feel like accompanying her today. You both head to the garage, where you can choose from the awpcopter or the awptrain--foulcoon does not allow anyone else to drive his Toyota Impala.
awp
osu! Alumni
11,869 posts
Here since the beginning
awp
Sneak a cigar from the Emergency Garage Stash (number 3, since number 1 is for special occasions and number 2 is currently empty or misplaced), ensure the Bottomless Island Lighter is still working after having gone through the wash, and offer to go to the shops by foot. They're within walking distance and Tode looks like she could use the exercise. But don't mention that.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Tode doesn't notice you staring at her ass as you try to figure out how much it's grown THIS time. You start walking down the sidewalk. Where would you like to go first?

Remember, Tode wants to go shopping for clothes, and she needs to buy groceries and another piggy bank.
awp
osu! Alumni
11,869 posts
Here since the beginning
awp
Clothes, Piggy Bank, Groceries, in that order. Women take forever to buy clothes and you don't want to be holding that piggy bank all day.

And do not let Tode buy any ice cream.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


What specific store will you go to first?

for reference your inventory so far:
CIGAR
PEPPY'S IPHONE
LUIGIHANN'S CREDIT CARD
BOTTOMLESS ISLAND LIGHTER
DeathxShinigami
1,176 posts
Joined November 2008
DeathxShinigami
Clothes shop, so we can get this part over with.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Dear God why do so many different kinds of clothes exist and why does Tode insist on trying them all on? The sheer size of the bags you are now carrying would worry you if you had been using your own credit card.

Tode wants to get ice cream before you go get a piggy bank.
DeathxShinigami
1,176 posts
Joined November 2008
DeathxShinigami
Let her get the ice cream for the sake of finishing shopping quickly.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Ninjas are attacking the ice cream store! Or so it sounds--you still haven't taken the bandaid off your eye. It feels like someone is watching you unseen.

Tode sounds like she's about to cry if she doesn't get ice cream.
awp
osu! Alumni
11,869 posts
Here since the beginning
awp
Ninjas blend into the shadows. Eyesight is useless. Light the cigar and prepare to kick some silent warrior ass.

Remind Blubberguts that you don't need a living ice cream salesman to enjoy ice cream. You just need the ice cream. It's not theft if he's dead.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Leaving a crying Tode--maybe you were a little too harsh--you slaughter the ninjas. However as you stand covered in blood, you hear rustling and a scream, and you realize you missed one and now the last ninja is holding Tode hostage. There is still that niggling sensation that someone is lurking around watching the scene unfold.
Ivalset
osu! Alumni
1,522 posts
Here since the beginning
Ivalset
Call out to your chocolate thunder for assistance.
Xanek
489 posts
Joined February 2009
Xanek
check if ninja is Sinistro
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


Fist logic prevails! As Ival's punch sends the ninja flying into a coma, Tode rushes into her beloved awp's arms, mindless of his bloodsoaked chest and beard. You sense that Sinistro is no longer lurking--you lost another chance to catch him.

(xanek sinistro is not the ninja you stupid fucker)
Mashley
2,042 posts
Joined September 2008
Mashley
Give tode a cigar
Xanek
489 posts
Joined February 2009
Xanek
Question why Ival is not wearing pants and only boxers
(also tode, no need to be mean, i mean you never know, I don't have your mind)
Ivalset
osu! Alumni
1,522 posts
Here since the beginning
Ivalset
xanek doesn't know shit about the awpforce, jesus
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


N-no...Tode has bronchitis, and wouldn't want to waste your cigar. She'd much rather have ice cream.
Krisom
osu! Alumni
2,867 posts
Joined April 2009
Krisom
Buy icecream for tode and Ival (if the ice cream salesman is not dead, of course.)
And ask for diet ice cream for tode wihout her noticing.
Powerdrone
464 posts
Joined October 2009
Powerdrone
Grab a spoonful of ice-cream and rub it on your band-aid in hopes the band-aid will lose it's stickiness and fall off your eye.
foulcoon
osu! Alumni
1,384 posts
Joined July 2008
foulcoon
I'd like to formally request that you stop calling my car a Toyota.

It is a Chevy Impala.

You will refer to it as "The Impaler".

(Continuing....)

Buy Tode a giraffe for her dorm!
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You smear bubblegum ice cream on the bandaid--nothing happens. What did you expect? While Tode is busy enjoying her chocolate diet ice cream, you sneak off and come back with a giraffe--just for Tode! You tell her to consider it a going away to college present.

Hooray! You are now full of ice cream and can use the giraffe to carry the bags of clothes. GIRAFFE and SHOPPING BAGS have been added to your inventory, as well as SHURIKENS you looted from the dead bodies of the ninjas.
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
Search for Ival, and then throw a shuriken into his chest as revenge for the afro pick incident earlier.
Krisom
osu! Alumni
2,867 posts
Joined April 2009
Krisom

Derekku Chan wrote:

Search for Ival, and then throw a shuriken into his chest as revenge for the afro pick incident earlier.
Then put a band-aid in his eye.
Powerdrone
464 posts
Joined October 2009
Powerdrone
Stick a shuriken into a cone of ice-cream and give it to Ival. He'll enjoy eating that I'm sure...
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


After the first two, Ival doesn't fall for the ice cream. He is not very pleased with you, and you find it wise to retreat with Tode and hurry on to the next store before he can show you more of his fist logic.
Mara
4,907 posts
Joined November 2009
Mara
Check how much money there is in Luigihann's credit card.
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
Clothes? Check.
Ice cream? Check.
Piggy bank? Go buy Tode her piggy bank.
Later: Groceries.
Later: Buy awp a new computer.
Esupanitix
393 posts
Joined June 2009
Esupanitix
Use it to buy a year's worth of calendar.
Kitsunemimi
2,188 posts
Joined April 2009
Kitsunemimi

Derekku Chan wrote:

Go buy Tode her piggy bank.
...And bump???

Please don' rape me ;~;
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


LuigiHann foolishly set no spending limit on his card! hahahahaha oh he will regret that.

Tode leads you to a 'make-your-own-piggybank', which apparantly consists of you taking a white piggy bank and painting on it to your heart's desire. Your only desire to go get drunk but Tode is looking at you with those big blue eyes and you know that if you leave without painting her a piggy bank then her bitching will be unrelenting.

You went to university for this? What will you do?
adam2046
1,653 posts
Joined April 2008
adam2046
Put a beard on it.
Duh.
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
Make it an awpbankkkk or maybe one of the vehicles? AWPTRAIN

(just draw a huge orange beard on it to begin with at least :v)
Mashley
2,042 posts
Joined September 2008
Mashley
Paint on it "I LOVE TODE"
Powerdrone
464 posts
Joined October 2009
Powerdrone
Copy Tode's awp tattoo onto the pig's chest.
Wojjan
806 posts
Joined August 2008
Wojjan
Tattoo it with a hole on the stomach.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You painted so much awpness that the piggy bank explosively transformed into a giant awpig! It's huge, muscular, and anatomically correct, to the dismay of all the mothers in the store with their children. It looks dangerous! What will you do?

(I just realized the censor bar is placed rather suggestively. The pig is not excited in that aspect, please ignore.)
Jarby
2,962 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
Ask awpig for a piggyback ride
Powerdrone
464 posts
Joined October 2009
Powerdrone

Jarby wrote:

Ask awpig for a piggyback ride
Derekku
COOL DUDE
7,270 posts
Joined March 2009
Derekku
Keep staring at awpig's giant manhood.
Wojjan
806 posts
Joined August 2008
Wojjan
retrieve arms from piggy bank.
Sleep Powder
1,540 posts
Joined October 2008
Sleep Powder

Powerdrone wrote:

Jarby wrote:

Ask awpig for a piggyback ride
+ 2 (total)
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Topic Starter
Cuddlebun


You leap on the pig, ready to ride it into the horizon and--you break it. What did you think it was made out of? As you stare wistfully at a shard, dreaming of the adventures you two could have gone on, Tode glares at you for breaking her piggy bank and you feel someone else staring at you too.

Gingerly the shopkeeper sweeps away the shattered remains of the pig's giant manhood to throw in a furnace.
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