hi
00:10:151 (1,2,3,4,1) - If you analyze this pattern a bit closer, you can see it doesn't make much sense. I expected something repeating, but I see
http://puu.sh/jFW9p/38b5267862.jpg. I personally suggest something similar to
http://puu.sh/jFWaT/62d48af794.jpg, just so it makes sense.
00:16:514 (5,6,1) - Could form a triangle, will look neat and flow well. Adjust the angles slightly, and it will be cool.
http://puu.sh/jFWe0/a71cbf57ec.jpg00:23:333 (2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) - Again, please take care of your patterning. Look at
http://puu.sh/jFWhp/9c833cb088.jpg, it looks completely random, no? Additionally, the flow is broken 00:23:484 (4,5) - here; I suggest something similar to this
http://puu.sh/jFWo2/954696609d.jpg, you can see 2 lines: the straight one at the bottom, and the upwards curved on the top. Adjust the flow to your likings after.
00:28:333 (1) - Not enough spacing, bad emphasis. 00:27:272 (4,5) - Compare to this emphasis, you did well here.
00:31:060 (6,7) - This stack makes no sense and kills movement. Basically same suggestion as above, as this pattern looks slightly random. Additionally, 00:31:818 (11,1) - has not enough spacing (emphasis)
00:34:242 (2,3) - Really weird how close they are; compare to this 00:28:787 (2,3) - . It looks better.
00:38:939 (10) - I suggest stacking it with 5 for a way better flow. The way you decrease movement here is not supported by the song or anything at all.
00:44:091 (2,3) - Unreadable antijump imo, would increase spacing slightly.
00:45:606 (1,2,3,1) - Well, might work for variation but I generally dislike it, wht about an up down pattern?
00:51:363 (2,3,1) - Same antijump prolem
00:55:151 (3,4,5,1) - I don't see much sense her eithere, what did it exactly follow to justify a movement break here?
01:07:727 (6) - According to your logic NC is missing.
01:20:454 (3) - Wrong rhythm, you follow the vocals I see that but you started off at the wrong point. I'd go for
http://puu.sh/jFWFz/903953cb62.jpg if you wanna follow them.
01:25:605 (5) - It looks weird that this isn't symmetric, considering that the rest of the pattern was.
01:33:787 (1,1) - You can improve the curve part of the slider.
01:36:515 (1) - NC for vocal?
01:43:787 (3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - Could benefit from higher spacing if you ask me, to support the songs intensity.
01:46:515 (1) - emphasis missing here, would increase spacing.
01:58:182 (5) - wrong rhythm, plese don't cover the downbeat with a slider end.
02:01:969 - Try a same-sided triangle pattern here to finsh off better:
http://puu.sh/jFWSu/df6697f5b4.jpg suggestion
02:10:151 (1) - how about adding a kiai time for this slider? LOL
02:17:424 (1) - same, also, nice pattern
02:27:575 (2) - a bit siletn hitsounds, could risk DQ
02:44:546 (5,1,2) - cool idea tbh
02:52:272 (2) - ignores downbeat again, would not do that just for the sake of symmetry.
02:52:878 (5) - same, is this part copy pasted? xD would go for symmetry here
03:10:605 (2,3,4,5,6) - would increase spacing progressiely
i'll skip the rest of the kiai, sometimes it seems copy pasted so just apply the things above again
03:51:969 (1) - you can improve that one, looks rly weird, try getting better curves
stream part is cool, but the slow part contains many weird looking sliders.. i'd try to clean them up somehow, i can suggest nold / kiiwa / skystar maps to get ideas
05:14:242 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - really cool
Yeah, last kiai was quite cool.
For the rest, please work on consistency and patterning a bit, and you'll be fine. GL