"I love you!" I immediately got up from the ground and embraced my newfound friend.
"I as well! For we are family." The child returned my embrace with heartfelt sincerity.
"No, not like that you buffoon!" I took a stance and tried to clarify the situation.
"H-Huh? What do you mean?"
"Well..."
I walked outside and grabbed a stick, then drew some patterns on the floor.
And then we fucked.
Needless to say, my nameless friend had died because my drill pierced his heavens. No, I'm serious; from his butt all the way to his brain. Dead. Gone. It was so fast I didn't even shed a tear.
"...This is why I must find that person..." I immediately recalled a promise I made a long time ago. This wasn't some childhood friend bullshit; this was a promise I made to someone because I knew they'd be the only one who could take a pounding from my dick. They were that depraved.
I immediately surveyed my surroundings and found a mere savanna around the area. There was no sign of other life forms or even a water source. I took some initiative and walked out into the distance, see if I could find anything without losing sight of the hut I came from.
However, I was almost immediately struck by hunger pangs and dizziness. If I had to say it would have to be my fault for having sex in Africa, but now's not the time for that. In only a few moments I fell to the dirt and passed out into a deep slumber.
...
"..."
"...uck, bola..."
"...Hnh...Hugh?!"
I woke up to a strange voice, but I found nobody there. In fact, nothing I knew was there; I seemed to have woken up somewhere else.
Getting up, I took a look around and found myself in the middle of a desert. Wherever I was, there was no way of figuring it out from here. That's what I thought anyway. All I really wanted to do was get back home and ban some faggots from an off topic board.
"SOKO MADE DA."
"NAHKNEE?" I turned around, excited that someone else knew nippon.
Wait a minute, since when did I know Japanese?
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MR. COLOR. I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU."
"Huh? What did I do?"
A tall Indian man stood in front of me, puffing fire out of his armpits. He smiled at my question and responded:
"MAGICIAN'S RED!"
A maelstrom of fire emerged from the desert, but the flames only made the area around the Hindi man hotter, pretty much killing him right there on the spot before he could do anything.
"...Okay."
Eventuall I made it to a town where I found it fully stocked with most services. I checked my back pocket and found my credit card, which should hopefully maybe work here, wherever this is.
So I decided to
[] Rest at the inn
[] Rape and sack the town
[] Run to Israel
[] Erect a statue of something
going to bed, continuing tomorrow.