Apex wrote:

Umbrella can't protect you from gunfire, but it obstructs vision so the shooter always misses.

this doesn't work because shooter shoot through umbrella, killing umbrella and person

Can umbrella protect from certain Chinese posters' stupidity? Can umbrella protect precious IQ?

I have successfully used umbrella to block my view of my monitor, causing the stupidity to be ineffective.

Can umbrella protect from Catholics?

It would be useful, veeeeeery useful.

here from out europe (wester than from the germanies are) we often have very wind rainy. Expected many user experience weather this similar, I test use of umbrella. Conclusion is: sometimes. Be ware of what angle you use, umbrella should hold perpendicular to rainfall direction. This is umbrella big feat.

Umbrella protect chair? ..Oh, umbrella is friend..

Very good !

Sorry, wrong. Umbrella chair is deadly battle, only most effective user umbrella protect with friend
use bond strongly, become umbrella more master. Then, chair? Maybe.

Why umbrella and chair fighting? It is not look like friend.

But I love chair. Chair is my friend, it protect. Then umbrella is not friend?

Umbrella is not serve master in this case.

after reading this guide i have an urge to treat my umbrella to dinner.

What should I do if an umbrella surprises me?

big umbrella or small umbrella?

Please treat umbrella care or umbrella not care serve master kill.

Shellghost wrote:

Please treat umbrella care or umbrella not care serve master kill.

SPOILER

WHY DID I NOT EXPECT ANYONE TO POST THIS.

Lybydose wrote:

What should I do if an umbrella surprises me?

karakasa is friend surprise umbrella. undocumented cases karakasa rain, but umbrella is likely protect and create not surprise area

That seemed like a poor translation into a different language.

^ u not honor umbrella your post
u respect must the umbrella

I don't know if it's because my standards have been lowered because this is the first not completely awful thread in OT for quite some time, but this might be deserving of Valhalla.

handy tip: umbrellla work as rowing for drakkar

Shellghost wrote:

Please treat umbrella care or umbrella not care serve master kill.

SPOILER

This girl not use umbrella correct. Umbrella only protect from stairs if point downwards. Dumb girl.

umbrella use with caution and intelligent must
can like fire kill or help

Umbrella only defend or umbrella attack too? Umbrella friend, and friend of me attack, can Umbrella attack? What use attack if umbrella can not?

http://osu.ppy.sh/s/20557

does umbrella know what it want be when serve master?

Krisom wrote:

Umbrella only defend or umbrella attack too? Umbrella friend, and friend of me attack, can Umbrella attack? What use attack if umbrella can not?

holy umbrella priest say umbrella for protect only, no for violence, you shame

this guide very useful I knew not how friend umbrella can be. this guide will be put on top so can be found more easy

Cuddlebun wrote:

Can umbrella protect from certain Chinese posters' stupidity?

If so, I'll take 100.

mm201 wrote:

this guide very useful I knew not how friend umbrella can be. this guide will be put on top so can be found more easy

Yes, umbrella guide deserve on top, useful informative very, make me buy many umbrella so good use correctly

Mr Color wrote:

Cuddlebun wrote:

Can umbrella protect from certain Chinese posters' stupidity?

If so, I'll take 100.

Stupidity is not physical good to be block, but Chinese posters and also posters of any other nation can be protect from by umbrella. It need shove.

Me apply pressure to shove away evil chinese but evil chinese shove umbrella away. What do?

U hold no umbrella enough hard
Must strength and belief all put into umbrella maximum effect

But evil chinese bite umbrella. Me don't want evil chinese saliva on umbrella umbrella get dirty.

do umbrella protect from acorn and similar?

umbrella force against acorn is one of drawbacks. through umbrella, there is no expecting grand newton revelation. acorn hit head, gravity. acorn hit umbrella, gravity? friend umbrella knows, but has no mouth. you don't know gravity?

how to umbrella against yaoi?

Gotta toast in this epic bread.

Also thanks for explaining how to use it. I got wet all the time, so I guess I didn't use it in a correct way.

To answer Ekaru and Backfire at same time, yes, umbrella can be use to save you from evil women and evil naked men who want your genitalia. It need same method applied to chinese posters, shove away. With naked people it even easier as the umbrella will poke and they will not like so they run into woods again where came from. Note this is still not attack, is still protect. Umbrella do not attack, umbrella is friend.

Would the unbrella provide sufficient protection from the fresh fruit menace?

Non ! Rien de rien...
Non ! Je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait
Ni le mal, tout ?a m'est bien Úgal !
Non ! Rien de rien...
Non ! Je ne regrette rien
J'ai payÚ, balayÚ, oubliÚ
Je me fous du passÚ !

Avec mes souvenirs
J'ai allumÚ le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux !
BalayÚs mes amours
Et tous leurs trÚmolos
BalayÚs pour toujours
Je repars Ó zÚro...

Non ! Rien de rien...
Non ! Je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait
Ni le mal, tout ?a m'est bien Úgal !
Non ! Rien de rien...
Non ! Je ne regrette rien...
Car ma vie, car mes joies
Aujourd'hui, ?a commence avec toi !

We actually mean you posting stupid shit, which has been proven further with those posts.

But yeah I personally don't mind using those photos as examples of stupid too

EDIT: Never mind, now back to umbrella. From this thread, I have understood that umbrella is good friend and must be treated like one, only then can it protect you further.

Successful block with umbrella the picture
Another use for umbrella

seagull and umbrella, thanks friend

IT IS MY PLEASURE, LADY WOJJAN

Umbrella is friend, seagull is master

seagull is umbrella master

Learn how to accents before trying to write in French, Christ...

i want to delete apex's post because of that annoying huge ass red exclamation point next to it (BAT thing)

Umbrella uses shield, its super effective!

with help of friendly co-explanator Shiirn, i can demonstrate how double umbrella protect against norway
shiirn, please administer umbrella force in lower direction.

shit post is now isolated and umbrellas, on both end, prevent users from reading.
thanks, fellow explainer shiirn. another practical use of umbrella.

umbrella so helpful!

That umbrella was made with the same material of Batman's cape.

Interesting.

if turn umbrella upside down and don't weigh like fat person, it can raft in case of flooding

When circle motion is gifted to stick of umbrella, she will get spin. If the rotate is fast like wind tornadoes, umbrella will to be able for foreign attack scatter. Use ful when for all around crisis.

Penguin's umbrella can shoot bullets.

Rejoice! American ally of pixel art the making has make contribution to no end of list umbrella use. Fountain and umbrella are friend. When together bring, short-live transport with glorious fun arrives!



Can you see? But, do not make mistake and go to mountain with umbrella. If by mountain alone, umbrella skill switch to show how idiot you are.

Sinistro wrote:

When circle motion is gifted to stick of umbrella, she will get spin. If the rotate is fast like wind tornadoes, umbrella will to be able for foreign attack scatter. Use ful when for all around crisis.

circular motion, by the way, rumors are is transportation method of 19trh century umbrella pioneeress Marry Poppinns

edit by means of explain:

mercurial, as stipulated in april 1 clausure no fun or whee is to be in thread, this is for explain purposes.
i will have to shield post, sorry for everyone else to see two umbrella and not know fear

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE xD

yes Mr. Wojjan believe i time it's to apply double umbrella separate technique again
this good for me practise

Peach is smart girl yes. Only she know power of umbrella. Is why I always play peach.

Can an umbrella be used to stop Renard from talking to me?

can umbrella save my from bat? because bat have lcock wastaldnedt my my thradser postaded many time my post and baned my if it can help from exploded grenader i will buyed it soon for protect my

can it save my from drowning from sea water and it save my from fall from sky and when my shoe is have it i can wear umbrella my shoe have more then 2 them and hand?

Larto wrote:

Peach is smart girl yes. Only she know power of umbrella. Is why I always play peach.

Seriously. In Super Paper Mario her umbrella nullifies every attack in the game. No need explain umbrella.

i just learned that umbrella knows importance of friendship and will not stop friend.

Wojjan wrote:

with help of friendly co-explanator Shiirn, i can demonstrate how double umbrella protect against norway
shiirn, please administer umbrella force in lower direction.

Jeg onskerikke a skade deg


This thread suck. Umbrella not made for poke people gentials. Umbrella made for bad weather.

http://xkcd.com/1038/
Umbrella.

here we see more norway offensive. thankfully, norway is being polite and provides own umbrella.

those wrote:

http://xkcd.com/1038/
Umbrella.

But I posted that already. Embedded it, even.

Sinistro wrote:

those wrote:

http://xkcd.com/1038/
Umbrella.

But I posted that already. Embedded it, even.

Somehow didn't see it cuz the image didn't load.

AGUYWITHTHENAME wrote:

Umbrella not made for poke people gentials. Umbrella made for bad weather.

agreed.

I concur of the explanation of umbrella with physics

Larto wrote:

If naked men or women follow you and want to take your flesh, umbrella also can protect. Do not refrain to poke hard to make them go back into woods.

Ok so


idk

your umbrella has no pointy point at the top, therefor it will require far more joules of energy to become secure from Frape

In this picture, force rape must be go other way. If both forces apply with 900 New tons, then system is balance. Means umbrella functions and rape cannot rape! Do mechanics correct!

If smart use umbrella friend, can block genitilia at angle
Then no need so much force protect from rape

Larto wrote:

In this picture, force rape must be go other way. If both forces apply with 900 New tons, then system is balance. Means umbrella functions and rape cannot rape! Do mechanics correct!

confusing

Larto wrote:

In this picture, force rape must be go other way. If both forces apply with 900 New tons, then system is balance. Means umbrella functions and rape cannot rape! Do mechanics correct!

The common missionary position of intercourse shall serve as an example to calculate the consumption of calories by a male during sex. First, we assume an average displacement per thrust of 12 centemeters. Due to physical constraints, it is often not possible to insert the entire male member into the female. 12 centemeters is thus a good working average. Due to changes in technique and rhythm, I will assume one .12 m coital thrust every half second.

So far, we have a displacement of 12 cm every half second. Now, we must find the force of the thrust to derive the work.

Let us start with the velocity of said coital thrust. Velocity is distance / time. If the distance is .12 meters, and time is .5 seconds, the velocity is .24 m/s.

Next, the acceleration is needed. Acceleration is velocity / time. Thus, .24 m/s divided by .5 seconds is .48 m/s2.

Force = mass x acceleration. Assuming an average, 73.5 Kilo man, the force in newtons would be 35.28. However, that is wrong, as the entire human body does not move during coitus. Assuming that the head, torso, and pelvic region move during sex, the total moving mass is much closer to 2/3rds of the total body mass. Thus, We must multiply 49 Kilos by the acceleration of .48 m/s2

Finally, calculating the total work is possible. Work is force x displacement. So, 23.52N x .12 m of displacement is 2.8224 Newton-meters (Nm). Since coital thrusting happens for about 20 minutes during the average sexual encounter, we take 300 seconds times 2.8224 Newtons and get 846.72 Nm.


So umbrellas are for fat people who don't want to burn calories!
Fsafety = Ffat
I don't think this umbrella defense makes anyone happy, neither the rapist nor the rapee

dNextGen wrote:

confusing

very

tl;dr

^although you deny power of umbrella protect
Must thank you because help me revise physics for test

iMercurial wrote:

tl;dr

Time for you to make a thread in OT

laport wrote:

So umbrellas are for fat people who don't want to burn calories!
Fsafety = Ffat
I don't think this umbrella defense makes anyone happy, neither the rapist nor the rapee

Is rapee really a word?..

Yuugoh wrote:

owo oao

Are you really a weeaboo?

I believe you left out the work required to pull out after a coital thrust, correct me I I'm wrong

-A t H e N a- wrote:

I believe you left out the work required to pull out after a coital thrust, correct me I I'm wrong

Correct, I left it out, because it's not any trouble or work at all.

Newton times Meters equals Joules. Laport.

Apex wrote:

Newton times Meters equals Joules. Laport.

laport wrote:

your umbrella has no pointy point at the top, therefor it will require far more joules of energy to become secure from Frape

I know, but let's keep it simple

edit: when dealing with calculations about thrust, like we do, we use newtonmeter (Nm) and not joules.

can umbrella save me from team plotter?

friendok wrote:

can umbrella save me from team plotter?

Ika's Umbrella probably can

8find3r wrote:

friendok wrote:

can umbrella save me from team plotter?

IKEA's Umbrella probably can

Fix'd.

ok

Umbrella lvl: Asian

why do you exist

if I tell you that, i'll have to kill you! xD

i declare myself an official umbrella guinipig

Mickey Mouse

Copter-kun wrote:

Good use of umbrella!

unbreakable umbrella ftw

Didn't read

Umbrella in the Middle Ages are used as a wespon of self-defence. When a wife caught his husband in "treason", which can be a single verbal movement of endorsing Napoleon, the wife can beat the husband to death using the umbrella.

Assuming your force exerted on the umbrella is 100N(Which is enough power to lift a 10kg weight):

When lunging with the umbrella, the contact area of the umbrella is only like about 10cm2 and the pressure exerted with be 1000 Pascals, which is enough to leave a bruise. Especially when umbrellas at that time are reinforced for self-defence.

When downward-slashing with the umbrella, it will be 10000 Pascals(because the contact area of the protruding iron frames of the umbrella are ridiculously small) which is enough to leave a fleshwound when wearing Middle Age clothing(I think).

But now, umbrellas are just shademakers and rain-repellers. You can modify your umbrella into a murdering weapon if you want, but Osu! and I don't take any responsibility of mansluaghter.

napoleon lived in the eighteenth century which is well past the middle ages. Your numbers are quatsch, downward slashes do not exert pressure but force. 10000 Pa is less pressure than the atmosphere around you. You wouldn't be able to move air.

Why the fuck do you even try to shoot this thread down.