Yoru ga Akeru

i suggest to move 00:16:217 --> 00:16:050 so it follows the guitar closer like you did at 00:13:133

i suggest removing 00:17:967 to make the finisher clearer, like done at 00:16:633

this triple seems odd since you are doing mostly quads and doubles, would suggest moving 00:38:467 --> 00:38:633

you can remove 00:49:967 and move 00:50:550 --> 00:50:717 so its more consistent with 00:47:800

its nice you changed the structure to include the guitar break at 00:55:133 but its not very consistent
you can move 00:57:133 --> 00:57:300 and move 01:00:467 --> 01:01:300

01:15:133 - dddkk is a fairly awkward pattern to hit, maybe consider something else similar if keeping the don start kat end 5-plet, like idk ddkkk.

As an alternative, something like a kkddd would be a better match to the drums somewhat going "downward in pitch"

01:16:383 - consider moving to 01:16:050 to avoid the 1/4 finisher and make the thing more comfy to hit in play. 01:16:050 sounds like a stronger hit than 01:16:383 so there's musical support for the change as well

01:23:633 finisher mistake

01:40:633 - could have a note here, compare with 01:43:300

01:52:800 ~ 01:53:467 - Musically this is very similar to 01:50:133 ~ 01:50:800 (compare guitars between the two sections), so the sudden drop in intensity is weird. Consider adding more notes

02:35:302 (831) - remove that note? give 1/1 rest+it's consistent with 04:05:802 - 02:56:469 - 01:39:135 -

02:40:967 (881) - im confused by the usage of a finisher here but not elsewhere in the kiai, the sounds are virtually identical in the song, and it would make for more fun gameplay if you added more

02:59:300 i get the vocal changes here but it doesnt really work since every kiai you are following drums and guitar. this can throw players off
i suggest filling in the note at 02:59:133 if you still want to priotise the vocal, but filling in the gap helps it to also blend in with the drums

03:15:133 - remove finisher, nothing for a finisher here (see top diff)

03:34:300 - 03:37:133 the density drops compared to 03:28:467, despite having similar intensity
i think you should consider adding some notes and triples
some suggestions:
move 03:34:300 (1202,1203) - to the white tick 03:34:133 and add a note at 03:34:633
a note at 03:35:467
a note at 03:36:383 to create a triple like at 03:30:967

03:43:133 - missing finisher

04:03:302 (67) - it is a good place for a spike, but perhaps the pattern is too long here? consider deleting that note to let a small rest?