The barbecue night was an overwhelming success. Everyone who attended definitely had great fun basking in my glory. I did enjoy the well-deserved praise and adoration, as well.

Pay no heed to the disappearance of several members. I assure you that they never existed in the first place.


The Adoration Point measuring robots have gathered so much data that they can now better determine the Adoration Points of members. They can now even measure the Adoration Points of non-members!

Non-members whose Adoration Points are found to be sufficient enough will be extended an invitation to the fan club. Joining the club is expected of you. Refusals will not be accepted.




Today when I woke up I had an epiphany. I realized that some of the most brilliant people in the world still don't have legitimate fan clubs. This means that some of the most brilliant, amazingly awesome people don't get the praise and adoration they deserve.

Incidentally, I am one of those people.

So, to address the problem, I've decided to establish my own fan club.

A lot of people who want to sound intelligent say stuff like "love yourself, and you will learn to love others", so I don't think this is weird in any way. I'm probably my biggest fan. I love myself. If I were asked to describe my relationship with myself, I'd probably say that it's something like "a dude who really likes jerking off". The bigger meaning behind that simple sentence is often overlooked. While a lot of people think that it's just a crude statement about a dude who really likes jerking one out, I think of it as something bigger. Me, a heterosexual male, am willing to eschew my own sexual preferences and make constant love to myself, who happens to be male(!). This is quite possibly the biggest form of love ever witnessed, and because of it, I should be the president of my own fan club.

As a community, the obviously enormous amount of people that are going to join my fan club, will hold monthly meetings at my house. During those meetings, people will bask in the light of my incandescent light bulbs and my glory. If you are willing to attend these monthly sessions, you must agree to praise me nonstop and to bask in my glory when I play osu!

You can consider thelewa's fan club operational from this day (29.10.2014) onwards. What follows is the recruitment of people for the very important jobs of "Praise Conductor", "Basking Instructor" and "Adoration Officer" whatever I can think of. Please post in this thread if you are in any way interested in helping my fans praise me or bask in my glory more efficiently.

List of members:

• thelewa (that's me!)
  skyllzhogo (Archbishop of a Cult Assimilated)
  Tarix (Adoration Officer)
  Gragas (Supreme Supreme Director of Visual Praise)
  Brian OA (Supreme Director of Visual Praise)
  Demon (Prolific Artist of Visual Praise)
  [Kano Shuuya] (Grandmaster of Photoshop Glorification)
  TheNekoNextDoor (Specialist of Visual Praise)
  Please (Secretary of Complimentary Defense)
  Noobsicle (Chairman of the Beautification Committee)
  Darth_InvadeHer (Commander of the lewangelist Crusade)
  felicitousname (Supervisor of the Literary Division)
  smudgerox (Chief Engineer of Edible Praise)
  Vexy (Spokesman of the Sweet-talking Committee)
  Sonatora (Writer of Gospel)
  Matu (Artisan of Physical Adoration)
  Static Noise Bird (Apprentice of Physical Adoration)
  Akali (Elite Mapper)
  Worthlessx3 (Leader of the Choir)
  theLiminator (Head of Costly Adoration)
  Trehorna123 (Missionary)
  Harumi (Missionary)
  Justin- (Preacher of my Glory)
  Nikkumi (Adoring Masseuse)
  HaiK (Speaker of Glorious Facts)
  Maxorq (Maker of the Adoration Point Measuring Robots)
  Orteiga (Head of the Department of Ask.fm Study)
  NightPhoenix (Plan Supervisor for the Space Praise Program)
  laatikko2 (Collector of my Glorious Relics)
  Celizavia (Member of the Tsundere Adoration Brigade)
  ManiakkuChan (Full-time Member of the German Adoration Section)
  Arufrog (Dispenser of Doughnuty Praise)
  Ephemeral (Honorary Piece of Shit)
  IppE (Basking Instructor)
  [ RemoveKebab ] (Responsible for our sustenance during the barbecue night)
  Samui
  ABCD
  NpSun
  Athrun_Yamato
  Rewben2
  Duskuser
  Tupsu
  a55b0mb
  B1rd
  Soulg
  LunarFox
  SHEP
  Rtyzen
  Trehorna123
  persian
  Faayne
  Pacolito
  CptBlackBird
  Dozy Van
  Suzune
  Ihaz
  Vadrone
  GhostFrog
  Kui
  Tatch
  pondokers
  Ichara
  TheBurningFox
  Railgyun
  klonoa
  HanzeR
  deetz
  Ukod
  AusBox
  Ruri-
  Jugment
  Xenou
  19120113121308
  Makan1
  SlySly
  JMC
  Ugmo
  uhuorc
  Syrasu
  Lerq
  Jimzzyyy
  HolyNightmare
  axsepsilon
  darkstar738
  FujibayashiKun
  DatPenguinTho
  Capuce Sm
  superhero6
  xElectroGH
  lolbob
  dippidy
  Maarteyy
  Crumb (Ascended to a higher plane of existence due to basking in my glory so much)
  Girl Gamer Inc (Habitual Adorer of Little Girls)
  Blueson (Possible future rival due to dangerous ambitions)
  pooptartsonas (Likely future rival due to dangerous ambitions)
  Mindfang (Suspiciously low amount of Adoration Points)
  RemmyX25 (Adoration Points at zero. No entry to the club at any cost.)
  Hika (Her commitment to the club was simply not enough and as such she has been barred entry.)

I will also be grading members through the use of Adoration Points. These points are determined by how much you adore me. The actual algorithm for calculating AP (Adoration Points) will be kept secret to discourage farming. I want the ranking to be as fair as can be, so that I will know who my most adoring fans are.

Praise. Adore. Bask in my glory.

praise thelewa

Added the possible job of "Adoration Officer"

If enough people want to, we can also have annual swim meets at the local swimming pool.

add me
also add NpSun and Tarix, their avatars say it

Tarix has been named "Adoration Officer" for his relentless adoring of me.

Lewa finally noticed me.

I have a master's degree in basking and minored in instructing; where do I sign

Brian OA has been named "Supreme Director of Visual Praise" for his outstanding achievements of praising me in visual form.

thelewa senpai~

Pls teech me godly ways~~~

How can I be an adoration officer if Lewa hates me so much that he ignored me every where possible?
I am a bit sad but happy that Lewa gave me this title, meet you at the swimming pool, will bring hot dogs with me!

I have bachelor of being-an-assholeism and being-a-dicksucker-ism. Where should i sign up

Lewa-senpie wrote:

Everyone is welcome, except for people who don't think that I'm the best.

fuck

i am ur bigest fan lewa plz sign chest

Sonatora's application to join has not been accepted. Feel free to apply again when you realize that I am, indeed, the best there is.

You are the best thelewa I have ever met and you are a very good-looking young man.

I would like to apply for membership status, I have accepted thelewa into my heart long ago.

Please has been named "Secretary of Complimentary Defense" for his skills in complimenting me.

thelewa is the only man in my heart, as such I must belong in this club
I can also write another gorillion dollar check if my endless praise is not enough to get me accepted

Accepting money for entry goes against my personal beliefs as a veritable prophet of greatness.

I dedicate my first post on this forum to thelewa. all hail

noo why did I not see this until now. pls sign me up <3

btw any annons that told you they loved you it was me

Now that I think about it your house is kind of far away

Surely it is of no consequence for a fan as dedicated as you.

i want to brush your luscious hair lewa
i'm good at brushing

Noobsicle has been named "Chairman of the Beautification Committee" for his outstanding skills at brushing my hair.

omg lewa sign my tablet pls

Darth_InvadeHer has been named "Commander of the lewangelist Crusade" for his undying allegiance.

thelewa wrote:

Please has been named "Secretary of Complimentary Defense" for his skills in complimenting me.

I feel humbled and honored for this opportunity to serve as Secretary of Complimentary Defense. However I must say that I was very surprised to have been elected. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

My king!

Edit: Fixed video link and I graciously accept my title of: Supervisor of the Literary Division

All hail the OneTrueThelewa <3

Sign me up for this fan club *^*
Praised be thelewa!
I can educate people and be a missionary on spreading the word of our one true senpai, TheLewa *^*

pls let me in dear leader, i will bring various baked goods for you to stuff your beautiful face with

felicitousname has been named "Supervisor of the Literary Division" for his efforts in referencing a movie about a book.

.

smudgerox has been named "Chief Engineer of Edible Praise" for his bringing of various baked goods to the swim meet.

Death of several fan club members due to swimming with their stomach full still under investigation.

Dear supreme overlord TheLewa, how do I become an accuracy god like you? I've always looked up to you and I got every single replay from you saved here on my computer. I wanna join your club so I can continue to improve and become more like you. Please accept my request, dear leader.

Vexy has been named "Spokesman of the Sweet-talking Committee" for his innate talent in sweet-talking.

I will name one of my cats in your honor.


Glory to our liege lord, slayer of the big black, champion of the flood, conqueror of airman.

Blueson has been accepted into the fan club as means of keeping him under surveillance. Don't inform him of this.

He never slayed the big black though

The Big Black was already dead when I arrived on the scene. Would have slain him otherwise.

thelewa wrote:

The Big Black was already dead when I arrived on the scene. Would have slain him otherwise.

Confirmed. Now kill StrangeProgram.

To the worlds best Osu! player and the one true savior, please allow me to become your disciple. I wish to learn and follow the ways of thelewa in high hopes of once becoming an acceptable human being to you, our lord. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life praising you and everything you do. You are my inspiration and motivation, so please, fulfil my humble request leader.

Hello TheLewa! I would like to join your fanclub!
I'm just like you when it comes to the game, I suck at everything speed related, but apparently I click the circles in the right moment.
Let's hope we can worship you like the mighty leader you really are.

Praise TheLewa

I pray every day to our lord and savior thelewa

After fifteen minutes of studying fapjutsu and fanfiction literature, I am now ready to accept

Also, I learned that lewa is the most beautiful and bright grill in the world

yfw lewa is saving OT by horsing around

You better sign me up on this shit

I am now ready to develop a new lewa-based jutsu

Lewa-senpai,I built a shrine for you in my room