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posted
The barbecue night was an overwhelming success. Everyone who attended definitely had great fun basking in my glory. I did enjoy the well-deserved praise and adoration, as well.

Pay no heed to the disappearance of several members. I assure you that they never existed in the first place.


The Adoration Point measuring robots have gathered so much data that they can now better determine the Adoration Points of members. They can now even measure the Adoration Points of non-members!

Non-members whose Adoration Points are found to be sufficient enough will be extended an invitation to the fan club. Joining the club is expected of you. Refusals will not be accepted.

Barbecue night is today.

Adoration Point measuring robots are hard at work measuring the Adoration Points of members.

Not having high enough Adoration Points may deny you entry to the barbecue night.




Today when I woke up I had an epiphany. I realized that some of the most brilliant people in the world still don't have legitimate fan clubs. This means that some of the most brilliant, amazingly awesome people don't get the praise and adoration they deserve.

Incidentally, I am one of those people.

So, to address the problem, I've decided to establish my own fan club.

A lot of people who want to sound intelligent say stuff like "love yourself, and you will learn to love others", so I don't think this is weird in any way. I'm probably my biggest fan. I love myself. If I were asked to describe my relationship with myself, I'd probably say that it's something like "a dude who really likes jerking off". The bigger meaning behind that simple sentence is often overlooked. While a lot of people think that it's just a crude statement about a dude who really likes jerking one out, I think of it as something bigger. Me, a heterosexual male, am willing to eschew my own sexual preferences and make constant love to myself, who happens to be male(!). This is quite possibly the biggest form of love ever witnessed, and because of it, I should be the president of my own fan club.

As a community, the obviously enormous amount of people that are going to join my fan club, will hold monthly meetings at my house. During those meetings, people will bask in the light of my incandescent light bulbs and my glory. If you are willing to attend these monthly sessions, you must agree to praise me nonstop and to bask in my glory when I play osu!

You can consider thelewa's fan club operational from this day (29.10.2014) onwards. What follows is the recruitment of people for the very important jobs of "Praise Conductor", "Basking Instructor" and "Adoration Officer" whatever I can think of. Please post in this thread if you are in any way interested in helping my fans praise me or bask in my glory more efficiently.

List of members:
  • thelewa (that's me!)
    skyllzhogo (Archbishop of a Cult Assimilated)
    Tarix (Adoration Officer)
    Gragas (Supreme Supreme Director of Visual Praise)
    Brian OA (Supreme Director of Visual Praise)
    Demon (Prolific Artist of Visual Praise)
    [Kano Shuuya] (Grandmaster of Photoshop Glorification)
    TheNekoNextDoor (Specialist of Visual Praise)
    Please (Secretary of Complimentary Defense)
    Noobsicle (Chairman of the Beautification Committee)
    Darth_InvadeHer (Commander of the lewangelist Crusade)
    felicitousname (Supervisor of the Literary Division)
    smudgerox (Chief Engineer of Edible Praise)
    Vexy (Spokesman of the Sweet-talking Committee)
    Sonatora (Writer of Gospel)
    Matu (Artisan of Physical Adoration)
    Static Noise Bird (Apprentice of Physical Adoration)
    Akali (Elite Mapper)
    Worthlessx3 (Leader of the Choir)
    theLiminator (Head of Costly Adoration)
    Trehorna123 (Missionary)
    Harumi (Missionary)
    Justin- (Preacher of my Glory)
    Nikkumi (Adoring Masseuse)
    HaiK (Speaker of Glorious Facts)
    Maxorq (Maker of the Adoration Point Measuring Robots)
    Orteiga (Head of the Department of Ask.fm Study)
    NightPhoenix (Plan Supervisor for the Space Praise Program)
    laatikko2 (Collector of my Glorious Relics)
    Celizavia (Member of the Tsundere Adoration Brigade)
    ManiakkuChan (Full-time Member of the German Adoration Section)
    Arufrog (Dispenser of Doughnuty Praise)
    Ephemeral (Honorary Piece of Shit)
    IppE (Basking Instructor)
    [ RemoveKebab ] (Responsible for our sustenance during the barbecue night)
    Samui
    ABCD
    NpSun
    Athrun_Yamato
    Rewben2
    Duskuser
    Tupsu
    a55b0mb
    B1rd
    Soulg
    LunarFox
    SHEP
    Rtyzen
    Trehorna123
    persian
    Faayne
    Pacolito
    CptBlackBird
    Dozy Van
    Suzune
    Ihaz
    Vadrone
    GhostFrog
    Kui
    Tatch
    pondokers
    Ichara
    TheBurningFox
    Railgyun
    klonoa
    HanzeR
    deetz
    Ukod
    AusBox
    Ruri-
    Jugment
    Xenou
    19120113121308
    Makan1
    SlySly
    JMC
    Ugmo
    uhuorc
    Syrasu
    Lerq
    Jimzzyyy
    HolyNightmare
    axsepsilon
    darkstar738
    FujibayashiKun
    DatPenguinTho
    Capuce Sm
    superhero6
    xElectroGH
    lolbob
    dippidy
    Maarteyy
    Crumb (Ascended to a higher plane of existence due to basking in my glory so much)
    Girl Gamer Inc (Habitual Adorer of Little Girls)
    Blueson (Possible future rival due to dangerous ambitions)
    pooptartsonas (Likely future rival due to dangerous ambitions)
    Mindfang (Suspiciously low amount of Adoration Points)
    RemmyX25 (Adoration Points at zero. No entry to the club at any cost.)
    Hika (Her commitment to the club was simply not enough and as such she has been barred entry.)


I will also be grading members through the use of Adoration Points. These points are determined by how much you adore me. The actual algorithm for calculating AP (Adoration Points) will be kept secret to discourage farming. I want the ranking to be as fair as can be, so that I will know who my most adoring fans are.

Praise. Adore. Bask in my glory.
posted
praise thelewa
posted
Added the possible job of "Adoration Officer"
posted
If enough people want to, we can also have annual swim meets at the local swimming pool.
posted
add me
also add NpSun and Tarix, their avatars say it
posted
Tarix has been named "Adoration Officer" for his relentless adoring of me.
posted
Lewa finally noticed me.
posted
I have a master's degree in basking and minored in instructing; where do I sign
posted
Brian OA has been named "Supreme Director of Visual Praise" for his outstanding achievements of praising me in visual form.

posted
thelewa senpai~

Pls teech me godly ways~~~
posted
How can I be an adoration officer if Lewa hates me so much that he ignored me every where possible?
I am a bit sad but happy that Lewa gave me this title, meet you at the swimming pool, will bring hot dogs with me!
posted
I have bachelor of being-an-assholeism and being-a-dicksucker-ism. Where should i sign up

Lewa-senpie wrote:

Everyone is welcome, except for people who don't think that I'm the best.
fuck
posted
i am ur bigest fan lewa plz sign chest
posted
Sonatora's application to join has not been accepted. Feel free to apply again when you realize that I am, indeed, the best there is.
posted
You are the best thelewa I have ever met and you are a very good-looking young man.
posted
I would like to apply for membership status, I have accepted thelewa into my heart long ago.
posted
Please has been named "Secretary of Complimentary Defense" for his skills in complimenting me.
posted
thelewa is the only man in my heart, as such I must belong in this club
I can also write another gorillion dollar check if my endless praise is not enough to get me accepted
posted
Accepting money for entry goes against my personal beliefs as a veritable prophet of greatness.
posted
I dedicate my first post on this forum to thelewa. all hail
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