Give it to me straight.

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silento
Hey, I'm just going to say this for you:

Play for yourself.

Don't give a single shit about others' performance. They can't impact you in any way. Half of your problem is that you care about this. It's a good thing to be competitive, but when you're being toxic to yourself, the first step you should do is scale it down and find the fun. Ask yourself: "what do I have fun with?" Is it playing songs by an artist you love? Is it playing long marathons? Is it playing maps with jumps? Streams? Squares? You get the idea. You need to restart and find what's fun for you and embrace the reason of why you picked up the game in the first place. Relax, you will be fine. You will not improve if you start losing your way. Find your relaxed mode, embrace it, then pick up osu again when you are not worrying too much.

After that, we can talk improvement. As for some of your problems that you've listed, it seems to be a reading and aim issue. I don't know if dyslexia affects osu or not, and I'll probably never know, but it looks to me like that. Do you play mouse or tablet? I don't think this matters too much, but maybe mouse drift is killing you or your area is not nice to your aim hand, that sort of issue.
Minhtam
Perhaps you should think about looking at "getting good at osu!" from a completely different perspective.

For example, have you tried SS'ing?
FrzR
play more

You should probably think of the game in a positive way, so that it helps you feel better in return.
timemon
watch your own replays and try to fix your mistakes. Find your weaknesses and fix them.
sometimes you just have to stop and ask this profound question "Do I click the circles to the beat?"

From my experience, many players (myself included) practice at the wrong stuff.
Playing shit too hard for themselves, playing maps too easy, mashing, you name it.

Experiment with different styles and practices, give it time and see whether it works out for you or not.
If it doesn't, just try different things.

EDIT: Almost forgot N E V E R G I V E U P
Topic Starter
ellyqt
Time, that's good advice. Thank you. On that note: I have a terrible habit of restarting a beatmap the instant I make a mistake; to a the point where I'll often have retried the map upwards of 40, 50, sometimes even 100 to 150 times before completing it. Is this a bad practice? Would you recommend a "dry run" then watching it myself to learn from any mistakes?
timemon
Retrying can be a very bad thing when you do that a lot. (in your case that's definitely A LOT)

However retrying the same map a few times (4-5 times) is completely okay.
I'd recommend that you fully clear the map (play it to the end) a few times before you start "retrying". And even that you shouldn't retry over a few times.
The better way to "Retry" is to actually not retry at all but switch to play other songs. Playing the same thing over and over can make you worse. Go play other songs, practice other stuff, then come back to play the map again.

EDIT: adding my own experience

for example, I have retried this one map over 600 times. Have I improved at all? barely. Instead, I develop a horrible habit and I can't play that map anymore. I keep missing on the same spot because I retried too much.

I still retry a lot, though. But I always make sure I don't get worse retrying. Once you are more experienced you can retry more but for now I don't think you should retry too much.
Jellyfish McGub
i thought the mouth in your avatar was a mustache when i wasnt looking directly at it
chainpullz
Reading how to git gud posts, threads, guides, etc. won't really help you get good tbh. You just need to play more of whatever you want to be good at and eventually it will click. There is no "everyone is good at X after practicing it Y hours," it's different for everyone.
I Give Up
I found thelewa's post about accuracy and jesus' post about streaming very helpful.

If you are one of those new players who think "I am doing this wrong", "I am hit a wall at 1k pp" well chances are someone else half way across the world is tapping the same way you do, holding mouse the same way you do, scratching his nose the same way you do, and he is a successful player. Also as mouse player it helps to do some research about mouse you use, you might learn something.

To get out of this mindset first you need to forget about what you are doing coz that information will not help you, and instead pay attention to detail and focus on how you are doing it. e.g. What: "I am claw grip user" -> How: "Middle finger sits on right side of mouse-wheel for Y-axis control, ring finger on right lip for X-axis control, pinky adjusts yaw for miscalculated maneuvers, etc."

Once you habbit yourself into this level of thinking that you can tweak your performance. After awhile it becomes natural, then you don't have to think anymore just let it happen. You will stop thinking and just do. When you see pro players spectate other pro players and see a really good play they say "how is he doing this?" If you're still unable to figure out your weakness then just focus on what you think you are doing right and play maps to your strength you will enjoy the game more this way. Good luck.
natgeo2
I have a better top score than a 1kpp player i must be a good player Kappa
Mahogany
HRDT scores are cancer

:(
-Makishima S-
should i SS his top rank HDHRDTFL to prove him that he is shit at this game?
ithgyu
stop playing hards, challenge yourself, but play stuff that you can still actually play, aim for B's ~90%, and play more
Topic Starter
ellyqt
I actually decided to give up tonight.

I went back and couldn't even complete C on 4* beatmaps I'd previously got S on. I'm progressively getting worse every single time I play this game I have no idea what's going on. I turned off hardware acceleration which people had said was a crutch and I guess that's causing me to have to "re-learn" the game but I'm not actually relearning anything, I'm just worse at it. Period. I don't move the mouse properly, I just plain suck at the game now. I can barely play 2* at this point.

I've invested a lot of time into this game but I simply don't have the eye-hand coordination to be able to play it at a level above a novice. The fact that I've devolved so rapidly after having investing so, so, so, so much fucking time into the game has sealed the deal for me. I need to quit. This game just isn't for me.
N0thingSpecial
just play it for the music man
Yuudachi-kun
Have you tried a tablet

I would've quit this game a long time ago without one because playing with a mouse is horribly un fun.
Topic Starter
ellyqt
Haven't tried playing with a tablet, but I originally started playing the game so I could get better at games like League other RTS-type games.

Ironically, I've become better at League in the meantime. Is using a tablet that much of a difference?

I'm a lefty, would that be a big impact?
Yuudachi-kun
Tablet made the game more enjoyable and I instantly went to fcing low to mid 4 star maps so :|
Endie-
Tablet might not be the answer for you #mousemasterrace
If you're going to buy a tablet you'll either:
1: Have to learn how to tap with your right hand
2: Have to learn how to play with your right hand.

I'm a lefty myself and bought a tablet a while back. Learning "how to tablet" will be a bigger obstacle than playing with your mouse tbh.
Just try to enjoy the game, and don't force anything. If you're not having fun then stop playing.
Good luck~
Yuudachi-kun
Learning how to tablet won't be any obsticle at all; especially if you remain complete shit at mouse, ehat do you have to lose?
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