forum

A Word of Advice to Everyone (long and not about osu!)

posted
Total Posts
29
Topic Starter
Bramble
(I'm basing all of this on something that has happened to me during the past week or so, combined with life experience. I'm keeping the name anonymous out of respect. Also if you don't think this pertains to you, keep reading. Because eventually, it will. But if you truly don't care then lol by all means, go read the off topic threads!)

Everyone knows that life can be hard. We all experience it at some point whether you like it or not; it's a fact of life. It's because of this that we as humans go out and find friends, so we can all have fun, have somebody to talk to, or even have something just a bit more than a friendship. Most people want love whether they realize it or not, if they don't then they probably have some sort of disorder (no I'm not joking).

If we're lucky, we find someone who we care about a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a LOT. And if we're even luckier, they feel the same way towards us. At this point it's natural for us to think that everything is going to be okay in our lives now that we have a lover to go to, and that may be true! However, here's the important thing...Don't lull yourself into a false sense of security.

Love can fail, it can fail in ways that won't hurt you, or it can fail in ways that will completely and utterly destroy every ounce of self confidence you were holding inside yourself. It can fail without your partner giving any explanation. It can fail when your partner seemed totally happy no more than five minutes ago. It can fail when just a little bit over an hour ago you promised each other that your relationship isn't going to fail. It. Can. Fail.

Now this is certainly not me trying to tell you that love always fails, that's just simply untrue! And I'm certainly not trying to say that when love fails, it will fail really hard and destroy you every time. What I'm trying to say here is that you can't let yourself believe that everything will be okay just because you have one person. Maybe that person WILL help you through everything, that's possible too!

Even if your relationship is happy, it will have bumps on the road. That's also a fact of life simply because we're humans, we aren't perfect; love doesn't change that about us. So another word of advice from me would be not to let those bumps ruin you, they aren't that bad. They're NATURAL. When there's an issue, don't storm out of the room (or osu client if that's what you're doing) just because of a disagreement, you'll make things worse. Try to solve the issue calmly so neither of you are hurt and you're both happy together. It might even bring you closer together.

And then for the people who do not have any relationship at all but want one, this is for you. Don't lose hope, and don't give up. The world is very, very big, there's bound to be someone out there who will love you to pieces just as much as you do! Just keep looking, or better yet, let it find you. That is a very common thing too, sometimes it honestly just comes and slaps you in the face, except it doesn't hurt (lol).

For those of you who are reading this and are in a relationship, I'm covering you as well. If you honestly believe that you're with the person who will grow old with you and love you until the end of his or her days, let them know that! Do not by any means take this person in your life for granted, because the moment something bad happens, you're gonna regret doing that. Tell them how much they mean to you, SHOW them how much they mean to you! Spend time with them, go hang out, Skype, whatever it takes! You've gotta make them know for a fact that you love them, and that they mean something to you, because when they question these things, most of the time they keep silent about it.

If you're not in a relationship but don't want one anyway, then good on you, you're pretty okay with your situation. But don't be surprised when love hits you in the face, because it will one day. (Not much to say about you guys lol).

Honestly, the bottom line here is that sometimes it just doesn't work out. Sometimes it's a mutual agreement and nobody is hurt, sometimes you're just a little disappointed but you know you'll be okay, or as I said above, "[it can] completely and utterly destroy every ounce of self confidence you were holding inside yourself." If you're the latter, then ask yourself this...does that damage have to be permanent?

You can't let one person in one situation totally crush you that way, you really just can't. Everyone is different, and just because someone you love says something or does something to you that makes you feel this way, that doesn't mean that they're right. We're human; we're wrong sometimes. Just know that you are more than likely a really good person, and it's just that some people don't know how to see that.

If you're still reading this, thanks for listening to me vent/give advice, I think this is really important as self confidence in these situations are very low recently. Don't lose hope and be happy!~
BrambleClaw
Mahogany
I had a friend who I thought I was really good friends with until I realized he had been just using me for the whole 3 years I'd known him

I don't talk to him anymore

idgaf about love tho
IppE
Kei

BrambleClaw wrote:

If we're lucky, we find someone who we care about a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a LOT. And if we're even luckier, they feel the same way towards us. At this point it's natural for us to think that everything is going to be okay in our lives now that we have a lover to go to, and that may be true! However, here's the important thing...Don't lull yourself into a false sense of security.

Love can fail, it can fail in ways that won't hurt you, or it can fail in ways that will completely and utterly destroy every ounce of self confidence you were holding inside yourself. It can fail without your partner giving any explanation. It can fail when your partner seemed totally happy no more than five minutes ago. It can fail when just a little bit over an hour ago you promised each other that your relationship isn't going to fail. It. Can. Fail.
This is completely true, I can confirm it from my own personal experience. I used to think that everything would never change just because that person felt the same way for me but suddenly one day things completely changed. I ended up being the only one with these feelings and had to make my way out of that. I felt very depressed, and the few self confidence had back then got utterly destroyed just like you said. From this, I learned to stop thinking about the future and live the present. Nothing can assure you that things won't change. Even if your partner says he will never leave you, he/she can't tell that for sure. Not even you. That's not the best way to let your partner know how much you care and love him/her. If you get too attached to this "forever together" thing you will suffer a lot if something happens later on. Yeah, some relationships last forever, but many don't.

Shit happens, and you never know when. When in a relationship you have to be prepared for things like this. You can't be okay with what you have right now. Tomorrow things might not be the same.
chaee
Damn op I really needed this. Thanks for posting
Restore
I feel like everyone needs to see this post. Hell, this has somewhat restored a little of the self-confidence I lost in my previous relationship.
Endie-
Thanks for reminding me of how lonely I am
Nice thoughts though
roufou
Great post, Brambleclaw. I've experienced scenarios where if I were to link a post like this, it would probably have helped a lot, and it would probably have been an useful read for me at times.

I actually don't see posts like this often on the internet, although I bet there are a ton.
Vuelo Eluko
what if im not attracted to real people only 2d
Sneakyyy

xxjesus1412fanx wrote:

what if im not attracted to real people only 2d
Step 1: get a body pillow of your waifu
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Marry it
Step 4: profit
Mahogany
I have a body pillow of my waifu but I can't into step 2 pls help
a1l2d3r4e5d6
DeletedUser_7415093
Thanks dude.
Sneakyyy

Mahogany wrote:

I have a body pillow of my waifu but I can't into step 2 pls help

Ask it out first, it's a pillow so it has to say yes
PLAYER WITH RSI
cucked
ELeap
That's a very nice heartfelt post OP. Thank you for taking your time to put into words what some of us often forget. I need to take what you said and apply it for my own sake. <3
Jordan
I didn't get any of it really

Where's the part in which you give advices?

tl;dr relationships can fail, let who you love know that you love them

Oh? I thought everyone knew that already. Attraction to somebody is nothing but chemicals in your brain fucking with you because of primal instincts aimed at reproduction. Fucking get over it and stop overthinking things that are very simple in nature lol.
Vuelo Eluko

Jordan wrote:

I didn't get any of it really

Where's the part in which you give advices?

tl;dr relationships can fail, let who you love know that you love them

Oh? I thought everyone knew that already. Attraction to somebody is nothing but chemicals in your brain fucking with you because of primal instincts aimed at reproduction. Fucking get over it and stop overthinking things that are very simple in nature lol.
so i want to breed with males? i don't think my brain is that stupid
Tbh

SteakShadow wrote:

xxjesus1412fanx wrote:

what if im not attracted to real people only 2d
Step 1: get a body pillow of your waifu
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Marry it
Step 4: profit
can I get a body pillow of your avatar? ;) ;)
roufou

Jordan wrote:

I didn't get any of it really

Where's the part in which you give advices?

tl;dr relationships can fail, let who you love know that you love them

Oh? I thought everyone knew that already. Attraction to somebody is nothing but chemicals in your brain fucking with you because of primal instincts aimed at reproduction. Fucking get over it and stop overthinking things that are very simple in nature lol.
you seem to be a bit dense, I could go on for a while about what is wrong here but I'll keep it simple. Does this thread actually have anything to do about attraction? Not really, this thread is about caring about people, while the post will most of the time be helpful for people who are suffering from heartbreak, it could very well help someone who lost a good friend or something similiar. If being friends with people has anything to do with primal instincts aimed at reproduction, I don't know what dimension you're from.

I hope I don't have to elaborate more or explain the post to you, have fun with your primal instincts and keep on...underthinking? That probably isn't a word and is probably a bit more rude than I'd intend.
minibethangel

Endie- wrote:

Thanks for reminding me of how lonely I am
Nice thoughts though
ok i feel u too XD

but not all love is for couples... theres a love for parents too just saying XD
Jordan

agu wrote:

Jordan wrote:

I didn't get any of it really

Where's the part in which you give advices?

tl;dr relationships can fail, let who you love know that you love them

Oh? I thought everyone knew that already. Attraction to somebody is nothing but chemicals in your brain fucking with you because of primal instincts aimed at reproduction. Fucking get over it and stop overthinking things that are very simple in nature lol.
you seem to be a bit dense, I could go on for a while about what is wrong here but I'll keep it simple. Does this thread actually have anything to do about attraction? Not really, this thread is about caring about people, while the post will most of the time be helpful for people who are suffering from heartbreak, it could very well help someone who lost a good friend or something similiar. If being friends with people has anything to do with primal instincts aimed at reproduction, I don't know what dimension you're from.

I hope I don't have to elaborate more or explain the post to you, have fun with your primal instincts and keep on...underthinking? That probably isn't a word and is probably a bit more rude than I'd intend.
I got it. I still don't get where the "helping" or "advice" part is supposed to be. All I see are cheap clichés on friendship and love lol. If anything, the stupid (or should I say "dense" to be politically correct?) are the people that actually think this post has helped them in any way :roll:

"HURR DURR LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE THEM, DONT GO APESHIT FOR ANY MINOR BUMP!!!" yeah alright... I guess this was post was really aimed at dumb people after all.

And if someone really wants to destroy you emotionally, they will (given that you have had any kind of affective / friendly relation with them), there are no barriers we can put to what our brain tells us to feel. OP's post is essentially useless.
roufou
If your idea of a strong arguement is to try and convince people that you're right by making what you say look factual without making any good point, I will not argue with you.

Since you seem to like translating posts to the way you perceive them your post mostly just looks like "This post is pointless because I didn't find it useful, anyone who thinks otherwise is probably stupid"
Honestly the only difference I see from what you've said and what I wrote there is that you make it look like what you say is sensible, which happens to be very commonly practised by trolls.
Jordan
I made a pretty good point actually, this post is useless because it contains no real advices. It hasn't helped anyone because its content is, as i already said, cheap clichés; and if anyone actually feels moved from that, well, let them live in their blissful ignorance? Though it is ignorance nonetheless.

>making what you say look factual without making any good point

Did you ever tell yourself to feel better when feeling like shit, and felt better afterwards? Can you just switch or control your emotions like you're some kind of machine? No? I don't see where I'm wrong then.
roufou
Well, that is mostly your opinion. I'm not going to spend much time on trying to convince you otherwise, however if you feel like shit because of a break up or something similiar, then you can probably feel better from encouragement and such as well. I do understand if you don't feel like you got any wiser from the post.

But seriously I have no idea what you're saying with your last sentences, you're comparing the idea of deciding your own mood to being affected emotionally by other people, this comparison makes very little sense and is just taken out of the blue. I'd say the same for most of the reasons you think the post is useless, honestly.

Anyways, I don't see a reason to convince you to not have your current opinion, that is actually not the reason I'm posting this. Hopefully that concludes everything I felt like saying.
Jordan

agu wrote:

Well, that is mostly your opinion. I'm not going to spend much time on trying to convince you otherwise, however if you feel like shit because of a break up or something similiar, then you can probably feel better from encouragement and such as well. I do understand if you don't feel like you got any wiser from the post.

But seriously I have no idea what you're saying with your last sentences, you're comparing the idea of deciding your own mood to being affected emotionally by other people, this comparison makes very little sense and is just taken out of the blue. I'd say the same for most of the reasons you think the post is useless, honestly.

Anyways, I don't see a reason to convince you to not have your current opinion, that is actually not the reason I'm posting this. Hopefully that concludes everything I felt like saying.
It's not a "comparison", it's one thing as a whole. You said I make what I say look factual without any point and I gave you a point: You don't get to decide your own mood and your own mood largely depends on the influence that other people have in your life (whoever disagrees with this is honestly pretty deluded). Hopefully that concludes everything I felt like saying.
Topic Starter
Bramble

Jordan wrote:

"HURR DURR LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE THEM, DONT GO APESHIT FOR ANY MINOR BUMP!!!" yeah alright... I guess this was post was really aimed at dumb people after all.
I guess you missed the part about lulling yourself into a false sense of security. And the part where you shouldn't let one person leaving you totally crush your spirits, because guess what, that happens. A lot. And I guess you missed pretty much the rest of the post if you think it's all cliche. I know it's an extreme example, but this stuff leads people to killing themselves sometimes, come on now! And as far as the "cliches," sure some of these things are cliche, but not all of it. And since when do people always follow what a cliche says anyway? If it were as simple as you make it sound, this wouldn't be such an issue in today's world. No, it'd all be good and happy and everyone's in love and it's okay. Yeah . . . no it doesn't work that way, it's not as simple as a cliche. Not even close.

Do you have any idea how many relationships fail because the other person didn't feel loved even though the feelings were there, they just weren't expressed properly? Do you have any idea how many relationships go down the drain because of a few minor bumps that are blown out of proportion? You can be arrogant and call the people who this post helped stupid and dense all you want, but you're getting nowhere buddy.
B1rd
Real women will take your cash then leave. A waifu will be your devoted partner for life.

That is my life advice.
DestinySonata
Nice post Bramble!

It kind of felt like one of those encouragement things where it says "everything will be alright."
Please sign in to reply.

New reply