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Rate the joke above you

posted
Total Posts
59
Nameless
517 posts
Joined April 2014
Topic Starter
Nameless
Example:

Person A:
8/10
<insert joke here>

Person B:
0/10
<insert joke here>

---------------------------------------------------

I'll start.

Optimist - "It's only 7 'o' clock!"
Pessimist - "It's already 7 'o' clock!"
Radical Feminist - "The clock is being raped!"
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat
7/10 you tried

A neutron enters into a bar, asks for a drink. When its about to pay, he asks the bartender: How much? The bartender says: For you, no charge.

ba dum tss
Birdy
5,739 posts
Joined April 2011
Birdy
3/10 there was an attempt (walks into a bar jokes in general are not that good I guess)

here's the best one in that category though:

A vegan, a crossfitter and an atheist walk into a bar. I only know because they made sure to tell everyone within 2 minutes.
EneT
1,022 posts
Joined August 2014
EneT
2/10

Trash Boat
Nameless
517 posts
Joined April 2014
Topic Starter
Nameless
10/10

What's the difference between a Jew and a Cadet?
Cadets can leave camp.
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat
0/10 thats not a joke, thats a fact enet dammit

knock knock

who is it?

two

two who?

its pronounced Toho, you silly.
EneT
1,022 posts
Joined August 2014
EneT
0/10

Argentinian men who like fighting games.
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat
again 0/10 thats also a fact, not a joke

rebel british who doesnt respect/recognize their superiors
Nameless
517 posts
Joined April 2014
Topic Starter
Nameless
0/10

Modern rap.
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
6/10

Women's rights
Aomi
1,993 posts
Joined August 2013
Aomi
0/10

Your life.
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
7/10 I can agree that it's almost laughable how successful I am despite the lack of effort I've put in anything throughout my life.

You are worth something
fat pear
264 posts
Joined July 2014
fat pear
10/10 i am worth something

why did the chicken cross the road
because the chicken is walking across the road! hahahahah
Jing Yuan
1,500 posts
Joined September 2013
Jing Yuan
3/10 no smile


why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

because he was hit by a bus.
puccithecat
166 posts
Joined March 2015
puccithecat
1/10 i dont get it....

TEACHER: what is the chemical formula of water?
CHILD: H I J K L M N O
TEACHER: what are you talking about?
CHILD: yesterday you said H to O
Birdy
5,739 posts
Joined April 2011
Birdy
1/10

The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve time travellers".






















Two men walk into a bar.
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat
10/10 lol

There is no point in explaining jokes to a cleptomaniac. They tend to take things literally.
A Medic
460 posts
Joined May 2013
A Medic

Trash Boat wrote:

10/10 lol

There is no point in explaining jokes to a cleptomaniac. They tend to take things literally.
10/10

What used to be a kids favorite meal at subway? The Footlong.

(I'm sorry)
Nameless
517 posts
Joined April 2014
Topic Starter
Nameless
8/10

Life is like a box of chocolates, sometimes you just end up with nuts in your mouth.
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
Only 6/10 cos you forgot to specify females and gays.

Why did the boy cry after playing osu?

He has arthritis.
FuZ
363 posts
Joined January 2011
FuZ
7/10

A blind man walks into a bar

And a table

And a chair
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
4/10

A man walked into a bar and got himself really drunk, cos he was depressed.
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat

FuZ wrote:

7/10

A blind man walks into a bar

And a table

And a chair
lol 9/10

a homo habilis that just realized he has 2 thumbs says what?
[ ] Jhin
32 posts
Joined January 2014
[ ] Jhin
4.5/10

you
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
10/10 because he is the best joke


I raped your dad.
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat

Akatsukie wrote:

you
tube

7/10

a horse walks into a bar, orders a drink and the bartender says "why the long face?"
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
10/10 Because the horse was so butthurt he couldn't wipe his tears away

"4.9/10"
A neckbeard was found dead somewhere in Argentina. Reports say he committed suicide after being butthurt on osu.
Birdy
5,739 posts
Joined April 2011
Birdy
adam/savage

index is legit.
Jing Yuan
1,500 posts
Joined September 2013
Jing Yuan
1/10

not a joke

what's a foot long and slippery?

a slipper.
Antlia-
260 posts
Joined July 2013
Antlia-
1/10, slippers aren't slippery


A man walks into a bar, he says ouch
iiko
160 posts
Joined October 2014
iiko
1/10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: "My wife has terminal cancer."
puccithecat
166 posts
Joined March 2015
puccithecat
3/10 i dont get it :p

TEACHER: why are you doing multiplication on the floor?
STUDENT: because you told me to do it without tables
iiko
160 posts
Joined October 2014
iiko
6/10

Why did Sally fall off the swing?






because she had no arms
Antlia-
260 posts
Joined July 2013
Antlia-
1/10 unoriginal
how many babies does it take to paint a wall
depends on how hard you throw them
Jing Yuan
1,500 posts
Joined September 2013
Jing Yuan
1/10 those jokes though

i ate a clock.

it was very time consuming.
Jerry
osu! Alumni
1,153 posts
Joined December 2010
Jerry
4/10

What was your first obstacle in life?





Durex.
Nameless
517 posts
Joined April 2014
Topic Starter
Nameless
0/10, the comedy is so dry, I'm dehydrated.

An Asda van has crashed into a group of Chavs, killing them instantly.
Asda - saving you money everyday.

If you don't get it, "Saving you money everyday" is Asda's slogan.
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat
lol 9/10

an infinite number of mathematicians enters into a bar, the 1st one orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of beer, the 3rd one 1/4, the 4th 1/8 and indefinitely, until the bartender says "you guys ought to know your limits"
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
4.9/10/4.9/10/4.9/10/4.9/10. 4/10

The owners of Asda and Matalan had a hardcore threesome with a cat.
They gave birth to Aslan from Narnia.
Jing Yuan
1,500 posts
Joined September 2013
Jing Yuan
1/10 I don't get it.

why can't orphans play baseball?

because they don't know where home is.
FuZ
363 posts
Joined January 2011
FuZ
8/10

Why can’t a bike stand on its own?

It’s two tired
Ochinchi-sama
178 posts
Joined April 2015
Ochinchi-sama
6/10

Ba-dum-tss
Jing Yuan
1,500 posts
Joined September 2013
Jing Yuan
0/10 what a joke

what's blue and not heavy?

light blue
-Stream-_old
5 posts
Joined September 2015
-Stream-_old
...
2/10 Corny pun


Dad: What are you drinking?

Son: Soy milk

Dad: Hola milk! Soy el padre.
HaruryuuSan
545 posts
Joined May 2013
HaruryuuSan
7/10

osu
Green Platinum
2,660 posts
Joined July 2011
Green Platinum
10/10

RSI
iiko
160 posts
Joined October 2014
iiko
2/10

What's red and smells like blue paint?








red paint
-Stream-_old
5 posts
Joined September 2015
-Stream-_old
5/10
Dammit

Where's scooby doo?

His dead body is under the matress.
Tae
1,071 posts
Joined June 2015
Tae
4/10

my life ;^;
levesterz
188 posts
Joined September 2010
levesterz
1/10?

The water boil. It shall be mist.
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