Somewhere in West Philadelphia, I want to find an old basketball court with a single ball lying in the middle. I will then pick it up and start shooting hoops. After a while, a small group of hooligans will approach me and challenge me to a fight, which I must accept.
After the fight, I will go home and relay the events to my mother. She will then inform me that I have an aunt and uncle living in one of the districts of Los Angeles, and out of fear, she will send me to live there for an indefinite period of time.
With my bags packed, I will go to the street corner, and whistle for a cab. The cab that will pull up will bear the word FRESH on the license plate, and upon closer inspection, novelty fuzzy dice will hang in the mirror. Although I will suddenly realize that cabs like these are extremely hard to find, I will not bear any thought to it. At this point I will point out in front of the car and say ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’. I will then stop in front of a mansion, and it will be sometime between 7 and 8 o’clock, even though it will feel like I've been traveling mere seconds. I'll get my luggage out and say ‘Yo homes, smell ya later!’, but I will NOT turn back to face the cabby. Then I'll walk up to the door, look over my shoulder once, and then knock on the door three times.
After following these instructions, my life will get flip-turned upside-down.