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Officer, I Can Explain!

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theleoleole
Lets play a forum game :D

A police officer has pulled you over. In the back seat are three items, which the previous person to you has listed. You have to convince the police officer that you are not up to anything that's against the law.

Since there's no one before me... thennn :

In the back of your car:
Fake Passports and ID cards,
A 3000$ in a briefcase,
A giant cabbage costume.
Birdy
"The passports and IDs are for a play. The money is fake, for the same play. Do I even need to explain the costume? Now excuse me, it starts in an hour and we're supposed to run an exercise before it."

A rope
Booze bottles
A dummy

so sorry for ninja
AmberLynx
Great idea :D

Officer, I can explain!
These fake passports and ID cards are just props for an amateur foreign movie project that I'm currently involved in and I get to play the runaway illegal immigrant, Eduardo. For one scene I had to escape past a heavily guarded cabbage patch which explains the costume. Conveniently, I'm just returning from a retirement party after being awarded this $3000 for best actor. I'm in no way heading towards the border now for illegal reasons I swear!

Wow :| I'm sad
Officer, I can explain!
I just came back from a rock climbing tournament and I enjoy collecting bottles so I scavenged them in the after-party I had. This dummy's just used to demonstrate safety harnesses and for fall impact tests. It belongs to my trainer but his girlfriend is coming over his place for the night and he didn't want funny ideas so I had to be the one bringing it home, I swear!

In the back of your car:
- An oversized rubber ducky
- A dismembered mannequin
- Rusty hacksaw
Birdy
sorry, I swear I didn't mean to do it
take a potato as an apology

"Oh, what? No, I'm not a psychopath. I'm just taking duck-sama to a ride, while taking out the trash. Are you questioning my pet? Anyway, about the mannequin, it must have broken down while setting up stuff inside my new shop. Yes, it's down this very street, called
DATA TRUNCATED BY FBI. The hacksaw is just the last remain of the old job of mine. Oh yeah, someone burnt our dumpster shed down lately, that's why I'm taking these straight to the dump pit, so don't be worried."

Several Hentai VHS tapes
A bright pink skateboard
A dildo shaped like a gun
OsuMe65
"Oh officer, actually I'm an ACE Undercover police of the Government. *shows wallet with ID* If you don't want to be arrested... or should I say fired for being a douche, let me explain. These tapes aren't porno. These are ammunition for this Gun-looking dildo, or should I say, Dildo-looking gun. And this bright pink skateboard... is my gift to my daughter. Please."

A bag of credit cards
Laptop
Winchester
Ceph23
Well officer these credit cards are all fake. They are a novelty item.
* swipes credit card on the webcam. Thnk goodness the cop is as stupid as a sack of bananas and thought it was a scaner.
see officer. No data.
And I'm taking that rifle to an auction for that show pawn stars. You know that show right?
Of course you do. Now excuse me I'm off to sell this bad boy. Unless you want me to sell it to you and I can see you want it.

1. A tied up loli
2. A mysterious box
3. Paper towels
Birdy
"I don't have time for this, dear officer. My imouto is bleeding severely, and I need to get her to hospital ASAP. That's why she's wrapped and there's the bloody towels everywhere, nothing odd going on. *imouto agrees in a hurting tone* The box is just a medicine stash, I'm pretty sure they will be useful earlier or later. Now excuse me..."

A bird in a cage
Bleach
A sharp wooden stake
hersa37
Officer, this bird is an endangered species and is dying. I need to get it to the vet or else it's a goner. Oh, the bleach was just for laundry, I keep it there all the time since I don't have a washing machine of my own. Don't worry about the stake, my kid left it there after camp.

A knife
handcuff
whip
Trash Boat
Officer, i can explain! these items are just prop for a movie. they are fake. which movie you ask? sorry, it's secret. highly confidential. yeah, i'm very sorry but i can't tell you. not a single bit, even to an officer. no, you can't guess. i can do this all day, why you just don't let me go? thank you. don't worry, you'll find out soon enough

1,000,000 U$D in a leather bag
a shortened shotgun
a vendetta mask
hersa37
Officer, my friends and I are just about to have a reenactment of our last GTA V heist at our base. I'm a licensed shooter, so the shotgun's alright.

a body bag (full)
a knife
a towel covered with red liquid
Birdy
"I'm just a performance artist and they booked me for a violent, masochistic setup for tonight. The bag is full of paper for now, feel free to check. It will be filled of me later. Oh, by the way, you're all welcome to get in there too!"

A bloody popcorn machine
A fishing rod
An old television which probably doesn't even work anymore
Rio-
"Okay, officer... actually I'm gone fishing with My Dad recently, He brought a popcorn machine (I had no idea why?) and somehow, My dad suddenly slipped and hit his head to the machine. that old television was one of My catch when fishing, my dad said that we probably could try fixing it."

Billiard Stick
Glass Shard
Pieces of Cloth
hersa37
I'm just got back from pooling with my friends and one of them was drunk, so he threw a bottle at me while I was putting away my stuff. Luckily it missed. There's nothing suspicious about the cloth, it's just in case someone spills a drink on the seat
a bottle labeled cyanide
empty bullet shells
bloody bandage
Mofu kun
I am bleeding from a stab wound from the stomach and I am going to the hostpital. That's why there's a bloody bandage, i mean, im not just gonna drive to the hospital without at least trying to stop the blood. As for the bullet shells, that is my 'self defense' against the guy who stabbed me. Also, the cyanide is for a friend. He said that he needed some. For what purpose i dont know.

Some 'leaves' in a plastic bag
disc set of hentai
bloody knife
Trash Boat
Officer, i can explain! i cut my finger by accident and now im going to the hospital. oh that bag? just leaves of tea. green tea. and that disc set? my friend forgot them in my house and after the hospital im going to return them. not that i watched it, which i don't. can i go now? thanks

a bag filled with crap
a bent crowbar
several bras
Awoo-
Office, you mean to say that men can't wear bras? After all, many women wear boxers, so why can't men wear brassiere? This crowbar? I bent it with my knee. I'll bend it back to show you. Lastly officer, you can take my shit to analyze it for all I want. Have fun with that.

1 - Your friend riding in the trunk
2 - Book on how to fool cops
3 - A radio that only plays Islamic music
Kyno
officer, my friend is just getting a ride since he had too many drinks. What? Dead? No, hes just farked up. This book? Why, that's just a... a... a play I wrote! Yes yes "how to fool cops". I like how Islamic music is officer. Why? is it that I don't have freedom to pick what music I want?


1 - thousands of dollars in a case
2 - strange large duffel bag with the mayor's head sticking out
3 - multiple bags of fake I.D's
izzydemon
officer, these thousands of dollars are what i got from selling everything but the head of this statue of the mayor. no, no, it's totally a statue; i even have the ID of the guy that sculpted it right here. i'm telling the truth!

1 - a justin bieber mask (you're wearing it) blame lilyhammer for inspiration
2 - an unlocked safe in the trunk
3 - three more guys on the back seats with money bags and wearing justin bieber masks
NotEvenDoomMusic
"Yeah *scratches head* you see, me and my homies back there came back from a houseparty where everyone disguise ourselves as some kind of celebrity. Walmart only had those Justin Bieber masks in stock because everything else was sold out and they had too many of those mask in store so we didn't had a choice but got a JB mask for all of us.

We totally forgot to take off the masks since it was such a wild party you know.
And about that unlocked safe; it's from the host of that party- he accidently kicked and locked the door of that safe where he stored all of his wealth from guests that were appearing there. He asked everyone on the party if they could unlock the safe and we were the ones volunteering-
He also said we could keep most of the wealth and split it amongst us, we should just give him back his safe though.

Sir, if you had ever seen Herb Alpert live, then you probably know how the party went

Everyone, literally, tried to blow their own horn"

1. The underaged daughter of your neighbor holding a trumped, naked, tied down and her mouth sealed with cellotape.
2. A sack of really really really really really really really really really really really really really really old sacks.
3. Membership card of the KKK
4. A CD of Skrillex and Darude - Sandsong
hersa37
Officer, don't panic, I'll explain everything if you stop pointing that shotgun to my face. First of all, I'm an undercover agent from the FBI trying to infiltrate the KKK and tear it apart from within. I need to have their trust first in order to do so, so I joined their ranks. I just found the sack on the road side and thought, "hey, why not. It's free anyway". The girl's gonna be 16 tomorrow, so she asked me to do this as a favor for her birthday. I'm not a fan of SM play, but you can't deny her after you see her puppy face

-Thermite
-Igniter
-Blow-up wife
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