Hey mate, I've been suffering with similar thoughts. Try talking to someone you trust about this, even if it's me. That being said, a therapist is preferred. Kooth is a good, free online service, though I'm not sure whether or not it's an international one.
45Traeath wrote:I'm thinking of dying (again).
No joke. I even created a scenario.
Well, several ones which I stopped considering because there wasn't any appropriate place for each of them.
If nothing goes wrong on Monday, I'll have to choose whether I'm making my 10-years-old decision true or not.
I just don't want to live where nobody gives a hand to dying wishes. By that, I actually mean "helping people getting their satisfying death".
Situations may seem endless and pointless to struggle through, but very few situations last a lifetime. Death is permanent. Please remember this. It's an escape from the bad, sure, but also the good, and the chance for good.
There are ways to turn negative thoughts into sonething useful. For example, I constantly think I'm worthless, so when I have the energy, I use this energy to improve myself in some way, even in a rather unnoticeable way. Due to this energy coming rarely, it's usually used to clean my room, but I don't really mind, as it's some relief.
Maybe I've misunderstood and am projecting my thoughts onto you a bit, and in sorry if so. I simply hate the idea of others having these horrible thoughts. They're very difficult to deal with.
Fight your enemies, not join them.