synthwavesquid wrote:

sametdze wrote:

the fact that i still have ODthomas makes me feel ok, but...

...i really just want my main channel back. will i ever get it back? no. it's definitely gone forever because youtube's moderation is just retarded. just ONE video was all it took for my channel to get permanently deleted. but, i still have the tiniest bit of hope that i'll actually have access to my youtube channel again. maybe they'll realise, but, would they really? would a team of bots realise they fucked up? no. it pains me to think that my channel, the channel i've had since i was 9, is gone permanently. i want my comments back. i want my videos back. i want my subscriptions back. i want my chaotic recommended feed back. i don't want coolkirby1222, i want coolkirby7113. i would do anything to get my channel back.

is this grief? or is this just plain stubbornness?

edit: probably won't work but when i get older i'm probably gonna go to the youtube support forums or whatever and say "me stupid when kid plez give channel back saar this connected to my actual main gmail please saar pleaseee"

who knows, it might work, and it's definitely worth a shot but if i return to reality and leave the comfort of my "everything will be ok" mindset it's pretty evident it's ggs for coolkirby7113. i don't want to be worried anymore

i really wish i could just accept the fate, but i don't want to. at first i was proud of this little piece of hope i had inside but now it's starting to annoy me because i want to move on but i can't, what kind of box am i in?

it's normal to be upset about losing something you dedicated a whole part of yourself to

realistically speaking, the feeling won't eat away at you forever. at least it shouldn't. though you probably won't be helping yourself by trying to speed through "getting rid of it" (if that's what you're hoping you can do)

i don't know much about grief but from what i do know, sometimes you don't ever really "get over it", you just learn to let it bother you less (though to be honest i don't know whether or not that'll be what happens here)

Achromalia wrote:

(waking up from a particularly memorable dream, except i wont remember it at all)

reffty_gag wrote:

testing new vst that i downloaded, it's called Purity, maybe good for making ambient sound

synthwavesquid wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

(waking up from a particularly memorable dream, except i wont remember it at all)

i actually managed to write down a few dreams (in varying detail), and for some reason stores show up a lot

synthwavesquid wrote:

huh

admittedly, i'm not sure what to make of that. maybe it's normal for common/familiar environments to crop up (would make sense, actually). though i don't remember any school dreams

usually the stores are analogous to ones i've been in before

i've sometimes had weird stuff happen that i've been able to recall too. one involved talking rats (i was apparently on good terms with?) in a sewer, another was a random rewrite of a group of characters my brain came up with on a whim

(also vanished for a moment to make food. will gladly take the points [even if i could've snuck in a few more])

Achromalia wrote:

hihi !! its ok ^^ im just glad i caught it in time lol
(but dw, come and go whenever you please!)

for everyone: qna queue <3

lostsilver wrote:

ok!! gonna play games with a friend really soon, so replies may be delayed <3

dave: "give me something silly about expunged."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cuddly about bandu."
expunged: "give me something silly/cute about mr. haywood!!"
bandu: "gimme something sweet/playful about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something goofy about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something cute about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

ok!! gonna play games with a friend really soon, so replies may be delayed <3

dave: "give me something silly about expunged."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cuddly about bandu."
expunged: "give me something silly/cute about mr. haywood!!"
bandu: "gimme something sweet/playful about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something goofy about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something cute about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

mhmm, enjoy <3

for dave: how do you react when ex seems unusually giggly and exciteable? ^^
for bambi: when cuddling, do you sometimes feel like you're comforted by bandu more than you comfort him?

lostsilver wrote:

downloading everythingggg...

dave: "i normally smile at them, and ask why they're so giggly/excitable. they normally start giggling more, and it makes me giggle too. it normally means that they're going to surprise me (or try to), and i've started realizing that. it's cute though. <3"
bambi: "i feel like we comfort eachother to an equal amount. but sometimes i comfort bandu more than he comforts me. it's still sweet of him to try and comfort me though. <3"

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

downloading everythingggg...

dave: "i normally smile at them, and ask why they're so giggly/excitable. they normally start giggling more, and it makes me giggle too. it normally means that they're going to surprise me (or try to), and i've started realizing that. it's cute though. <3"
bambi: "i feel like we comfort eachother to an equal amount. but sometimes i comfort bandu more than he comforts me. it's still sweet of him to try and comfort me though. <3"

awww i agree, this is a cute interaction ^^ and i see,, that did seem more likely, but i do adore the thought of him trying to care for you too <3

for everyone: nutrition & hydration !!!

lostsilver wrote:

expunged: "give me something silly/cute about mr. haywood!!"
bandu: "gimme something sweet/playful about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something goofy about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something cute about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

expunged: "give me something silly/cute about mr. haywood!!"
bandu: "gimme something sweet/playful about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something goofy about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something cute about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

for expunged: what's something adorable from mister haywood that surprised you when you were just starting to get to know him?
for bandu: what was it like when you first opened up to bambi and started doing things like playfighting or gaming or arts 'n' crafts or doing music together with him?

lostsilver wrote:

expunged: "i think it was the gentle side-to-side sway he used to do! i've adopted it into what i do to tell him that i'm happy! <3"
bandu: "it felt really reassuring in a way!! because of where ex and i used to draw together/playfight, doing those activities was super nice!! even though i already felt safe with him and dave, drawing with him/playfighting with him made me feel even more safe <3"

gonna actually play games now <3

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

expunged: "i think it was the gentle side-to-side sway he used to do! i've adopted it into what i do to tell him that i'm happy! <3"
bandu: "it felt really reassuring in a way!! because of where ex and i used to draw together/playfight, doing those activities was super nice!! even though i already felt safe with him and dave, drawing with him/playfighting with him made me feel even more safe <3"

gonna actually play games now <3

hehehe the swaying is fun, i kinda get it and i think its sweet to imagine the little things people pick up and adopt and carry with them and hold close <3
im happy for bandu too... thats a wonderful part of childhood to be able to have ^^

have fun y'all, im gonna rest, maybe a nap for the tiniest shortest amount of time, or maybe just a little refreshing daydream :p

for everyone: medication? have a little stretch too ^^

lostsilver wrote:

i'm just posting before more gaming!! it's so silly heheh,, and rest if you must!! <3

dave: "yep! the kids have taken their medication. <3"
bambi: "mhm. we've all hydrated and stretched too."
expunged: "yippee!!"
bandu: "eee!!"

ps!dave: "yeah! the bandellos have taken their medication!"
ps!bambi: "yup. we've all stretched and hydrated aswell."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "awawaaaa <3"

lostsilver wrote:

i have returned again!! my friend's getting another game set up so yeah <3
i hope you rested well, achro!!

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

i have returned again!! my friend's getting another game set up so yeah <3
i hope you rested well, achro!!

still sleepy, i fell back asleep and then dreamed a little bit more... AND im hungry lol...
hmm,, also have some water breaks of your own ^^
i'll try waking up more for the next part of the qna in a moment

gaming hours fr

Achromalia wrote:

yay! aaand we start with...

foor everyone: dinnertime? <3

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "give me something goofy about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something cute about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

~ a photo i took on a walk! ~

Achromalia wrote:

i finally got up and got my food and water... i loved having all the weird dreams i had (looking at you, dream with the mysterious stingray-shaped creature in the air), but i really would have appreciated if my body would let me fully wake up before i say im waking up only to prove myself wrong lol :'p

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "give me something goofy about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something cute about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

for ps!dave: any new memes you shared that made cresswell crack up?
for ps!bambi: how does ambrose respond when you call him by affectionate pet-names?

~ a photo i took on a walk! ~

lostsilver wrote:

ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

Achromalia wrote:

real!! my favorite part is tied between the camera angle and the sunlight glare and the flowers themselves-- but the tiny hints of a fence and pole are also interestingly really tasteful i think!!

lostsilver wrote:

ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

for ps!expunged: do you tend to have ps!bandu cling to you on your back while you work at your lab? or is there some other way you two cuddle when you're in the lab?
for ps!bandu: what's your favorite thing to watch ps!ex be curious/excited about in the lab? what do you two do in the lab to relax when se takes a break?

(sorta tough prompts,, or not exactly but more like, idk how to imagine anything for this one)

Achromalia wrote:

real!! my favorite part is tied between the camera angle and the sunlight glare and the flowers themselves-- but the tiny hints of a fence and pole are also interestingly really tasteful i think!!

lostsilver wrote:

ps!expunged: "give me something sweet/cuddly and lab related about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cute and lab related about ps!ex!!"

for ps!expunged: do you tend to have ps!bandu cling to you on your back while you work at your lab? or is there some other way you two cuddle when you're in the lab?
for ps!bandu: what's your favorite thing to watch ps!ex be curious/excited about in the lab? what do you two do in the lab to relax when se takes a break?

(sorta tough prompts,, or not exactly but more like, idk how to imagine anything for this one)

lostsilver wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

for ps!expunged: do you tend to have ps!bandu cling to you on your back while you work at your lab? or is there some other way you two cuddle when you're in the lab?
for ps!bandu: what's your favorite thing to watch ps!ex be curious/excited about in the lab? what do you two do in the lab to relax when se takes a break?

(sorta tough prompts,, or not exactly but more like, idk how to imagine anything for this one)

these are good tho!! i like these prompts heheh <3

Tateshina Eve wrote:

How about scrambled eggs?

Achromalia wrote:

sunrise...

42 minutes missed, distracted
...and horribly hungry

lostsilver wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

for ps!expunged: do you tend to have ps!bandu cling to you on your back while you work at your lab? or is there some other way you two cuddle when you're in the lab?
for ps!bandu: what's your favorite thing to watch ps!ex be curious/excited about in the lab? what do you two do in the lab to relax when se takes a break?

(sorta tough prompts,, or not exactly but more like, idk how to imagine anything for this one)

these are good tho!! i like these prompts heheh <3

oh! im glad, and relieved a little ^^;;

for everyone: breakfast for today...?

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "we had pancakes this morning!"
bambi: "we've all hydrated too."
expunged: "pancaakeee,, <3"
bandu: "hehehe :3"

ps!dave: "we had pancakes aswell!"
ps!bambi: "we've hydrated too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "pancake, cake in a pan <3"

Achromalia wrote:

okay why am i actually feeling good today?? like?? im weirdly cheery which is super unusual

and my hair has been super cooperative too, there isnt like a bunch of tangles either so i dont even have to do smart cookie things and finesse it like the way i usually have to lol... im definitely happy about that ^^

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "we had pancakes this morning!"
bambi: "we've all hydrated too."
expunged: "pancaakeee,, <3"
bandu: "hehehe :3"

ps!dave: "we had pancakes aswell!"
ps!bambi: "we've hydrated too."
ps!expunged: "mm."
ps!bandu: "pancake, cake in a pan <3"

looks like it panned out well <3

for everyone: qna queue!!

lostsilver wrote:

yippee!!! we joyous today <3
also!! i remembered the holiday mod (fnf mod made by bbpanzu) and am now going to make sprites (+ a custom chart) for "santa" (skid and pump's song), but with ps!bandu/ps!ex (skid and pump) and ps!bandu/ps!kandi (bf and gf)!!

i'm gonna do sketch pages with the pose ideas, so be on the lookout!! (gonna also redraw the bg bbpanzu made for the song lol)

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the ashbluffs."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' goofy 'bout the haywalls."
ps!expunged: "give me something cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "give me something cuddly about ps!ex!! <3"

~ another photo i took outside ~

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

yippee!!! we joyous today <3
also!! i remembered the holiday mod (fnf mod made by bbpanzu) and am now going to make sprites (+ a custom chart) for "santa" (skid and pump's song), but with ps!bandu/ps!ex (skid and pump) and ps!bandu/ps!kandi (bf and gf)!!

i'm gonna do sketch pages with the pose ideas, so be on the lookout!! (gonna also redraw the bg bbpanzu made for the song lol)

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the ashbluffs."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' goofy 'bout the haywalls."
ps!expunged: "give me something cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "give me something cuddly about ps!ex!! <3"

oh that sounds good!! i feel like bringing a personal homely vibe from the bandellos in the bg would go together well with the cheery santa vibe, so im looking forward to it ^^

gl with the sketch pages!

(no questions yet, kinda forgot and was a little bit late)

~ another photo i took outside ~

here's the background!! (redraw of bbpanzu's bg for the song)

the bandellos are visiting ps!davi, ps!david, ps!bendu and ps!kandi <3 and context for the little framed photo, ps!davi and ps!david wanted a picture of the bandellos to keep, so ps!dave and ps!bambi took a picture of the two for them!! (ps!bandu also stole ps!expunged's labcoat bc it was cold, and zeir a bit camera shy) <3

lostsilver wrote:

pretty... take your time btw!! and thank you!!

here's the background!! (redraw of bbpanzu's bg for the song)

the bandellos are visiting ps!davi, ps!david, ps!bendu and ps!kandi <3 and context for the little framed photo, ps!davi and ps!david wanted a picture of the bandellos to keep, so ps!dave and ps!bambi took a picture of the two for them!! (ps!bandu also stole ps!expunged's labcoat bc it was cold, and zeir a bit camera shy) <3

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the ashbluffs."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' goofy 'bout the haywalls."
ps!expunged: "give me something cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "give me something cuddly about ps!ex!! <3"

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

pretty... take your time btw!! and thank you!!

here's the background!! (redraw of bbpanzu's bg for the song)

the bandellos are visiting ps!davi, ps!david, ps!bendu and ps!kandi <3 and context for the little framed photo, ps!davi and ps!david wanted a picture of the bandellos to keep, so ps!dave and ps!bambi took a picture of the two for them!! (ps!bandu also stole ps!expunged's labcoat bc it was cold, and zeir a bit camera shy) <3

that's adorable !! i'm gonna squeak with how cute the photo is of them, and also i love the colors of the rug!!!
this is gonna be so good....

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the ashbluffs."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' goofy 'bout the haywalls."
ps!expunged: "give me something cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "give me something cuddly about ps!ex!! <3"

hmmmm...

for ps!expunged: are there certain items that ps!bandu asks you to bring for zem because they felt comfy for zem?
for ps!bandu: what was one of the weirdest comfy positions you have been in when cuddling ps!ex?

lostsilver wrote:

ps!expunged: "yes, ze has a few. 1: any stress relief toy, 2: plushies that me, mr. ambrose, mr. cresswell and the others have got zem, and 3: weighted/soft/fluffy blankets. those are the main ones ze asks for."

lostsilver wrote:

ps!bandu: "hmm,, well, it was a bit weird for me (though still super cozy), but laying on sem while curled up! it looked something like this ^^"

~ more!! sunlight thru a tree while on a walk ^^ ~

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

ps!expunged: "yes, ze has a few. 1: any stress relief toy, 2: plushies that me, mr. ambrose, mr. cresswell and the others have got zem, and 3: weighted/soft/fluffy blankets. those are the main ones ze asks for."

how nice ^^ that makes a lot of sense

lostsilver wrote:

ps!bandu: "hmm,, well, it was a bit weird for me (though still super cozy), but laying on sem while curled up! it looked something like this ^^"

oh wow,, i adore the poses (ps!bandu curling up is such a vibeee) and with ps!ex i really love seir hair in this !!
also the siblings are like natural living beds and pillows... that does seem cozy lol :p

~ more!! sunlight thru a tree while on a walk ^^ ~

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the ashbluffs."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' goofy 'bout the haywalls."

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the ashbluffs."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' goofy 'bout the haywalls."

for ps!dave: do you have any memories of times when playing with the ashbluffs got super out of hand?
for ps!bambi: what is one of the funniest ways the haywalls won a bet?

vi_xlt wrote:

christmas time!!

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "well, there was this one time that expunged was being super rowdy with bandu, and then bonked their head on cresswell, who was sitting near the two. they shook it off like it was nothing and then ran away. cresswell ran after them to make sure they were okay, 'cuz they hit their head pretty hard, while bandu and i sat there like 'what just happened??' XD. they were okay though, don't worry. ^^"
ps!bambi: "i think it was the time that we bet on who could flick a piece of popcorn in their mouth, and somehow haywood got two?? him and cornwall were so confused but it was super hilarious for us all. the prize was 15 bucks, but we doubled it because of haywood flicking two pieces into his mouth, lol."

also!! i made a silly little comic idea :>

hehe

ps!expunged chewing on seir pen while se thinks, while ps!bandu watches. ps!bandu notices that seir pen is quite worn, and tells sem that it may break if se keeps chewing on it. ps!expunged is too lost in seir thoughts, so se doesn't hear zem. seir pen then breaks as ink goes everywhere, causing sem to cough in response to the ink getting in seir mouth. ps!bandu gets startled by this, and tries to help sem clean up

Achromalia wrote:

vi_xlt wrote:

christmas time!!

hihiii !!! just [2 more than] a week away! i am so--

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "well, there was this one time that expunged was being super rowdy with bandu, and then bonked their head on cresswell, who was sitting near the two. they shook it off like it was nothing and then ran away. cresswell ran after them to make sure they were okay, 'cuz they hit their head pretty hard, while bandu and i sat there like 'what just happened??' XD. they were okay though, don't worry. ^^"
ps!bambi: "i think it was the time that we bet on who could flick a piece of popcorn in their mouth, and somehow haywood got two?? him and cornwall were so confused but it was super hilarious for us all. the prize was 15 bucks, but we doubled it because of haywood flicking two pieces into his mouth, lol."

also!! i made a silly little comic idea :>

hehe

ps!expunged chewing on seir pen while se thinks, while ps!bandu watches. ps!bandu notices that seir pen is quite worn, and tells sem that it may break if se keeps chewing on it. ps!expunged is too lost in seir thoughts, so se doesn't hear zem. seir pen then breaks as ink goes everywhere, causing sem to cough in response to the ink getting in seir mouth. ps!bandu gets startled by this, and tries to help sem clean up

oop im glad everything was ok x')
and that is impressive fr o.o

OH NO THE PEN BREAKING,, a very fun(?) idea and i like these quiet mundane moments a lot bc theyre like a lil slice of life...! but poor ps!ex ;o;

im trying to sort thru things rn so im kinda busy.... hmmnhgh

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."
expunged: "give me something cozy about mr. cornwall <3"
bandu: "gimme something goofy about dave!!"

for expunged: what makes mister cornwall such a calming person to be with, in your opinion?
for bandu: does dave get startled easily? do you know why, if so?

Achromalia wrote:

gm lostie
body hurts today, probably not getting up for a while...

synthwavesquid wrote:

well i guess i have a basil plant now

lostsilver wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

gm lostie
body hurts today, probably not getting up for a while...

hii!! i feel that honestly
my body didn't want me to get out of bed when i woke up, and then 20 minutes had passed and then my body was finally like "ok you can get up now"

Achromalia wrote:

synthwavesquid wrote:

well i guess i have a basil plant now

reminiscent of "ok i walked home from work today and blinked and became the appointed guardian of my town's local cat population what the hell do i do now"
here is a cheer to the health and wellbeing of the basil plant :)

lostsilver wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

gm lostie
body hurts today, probably not getting up for a while...

hii!! i feel that honestly
my body didn't want me to get out of bed when i woke up, and then 20 minutes had passed and then my body was finally like "ok you can get up now"

hihi it still hurts but its sort of ok now!

for everyone: food and water? something to nourish the mind and body <3

Achromalia wrote:

synthwavesquid wrote:

well i guess i have a basil plant now

reminiscent of "ok i walked home from work today and blinked and became the appointed guardian of my town's local cat population what the hell do i do now"
here is a cheer to the health and wellbeing of the basil plant :)

synthwavesquid wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

synthwavesquid wrote:

well i guess i have a basil plant now

reminiscent of "ok i walked home from work today and blinked and became the appointed guardian of my town's local cat population what the hell do i do now"
here is a cheer to the health and wellbeing of the basil plant :)

i pet the basil plant once and it followed me all the way home meowing and everything

(in all seriousness, i did not intend on getting the plant i just saw it, thought about it for a moment, then went "fuck it i was going to get basil eventually anyways")

also damn i wish i could be appointed guardian of the local cat population (or probably pigeons actually there are a load of them)

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something silly about bandu."
bambi: "gimme somethin' cute 'bout ex."