sametdze wrote:
organising yourself, nice!
i need to get back into my routine, the fact that i've started "stumbling" over things makes me very annoyed and upset.
this is the average monday for me. pretty much every other day of the week excluding saturday and sunday plays out like this tooMonday:
6:30 - wake up
6:35 - brush teeth, shower
6:40 - wait for mum to wake up; in the meantime have free time OR study if necessary
7:00 - mum should wake up; have breakfast with her
7:15 - get clothes ready for school
8:00 - get mum to take me to school
8:00 to 3:00, school
3:30 - I should be home by now, listen to music and play games
4:00 - practice clarinet
4:15 - do homework if necessary
4:30 - study for any upcoming tests, if no tests are coming continue homework
5:00 - mum should have made dinner by now, eat it with her
5:30 - read book
6:00 - free time; listen to music and play games
6:45 - shower
6:55 - if mum has not made dinner at 5:00, make myself noodles or other food which is easy to make and eat it
7:00 - do more homework or study for upcoming tests
7:45 - free time; listen to music and play games
9:30 - read book
10:00 - sleep
im always intimidated by people's ability to diligently follow their schedules... i've never been able to do anything like this, i'm almost exactly the opposite-- even though i obsessively organize some things (more accurately, preparation/information/aesthetics), i can't seem to execute most of it and it always makes me feel inept and incompetent when i actually wanted or needed to do something (notably, caring for my own body, caring for other people, or caring for the conditions of where i live)
everything has to be done on a whim and be immediately satisfiable, i have to be able to complete it quickly and/or within one attempt, otherwise i don't last long before fatigue overwhelms me or i just get distracted by something else. but that inattentive spontaneity is counteracted by another problem-- i'm not very good at starting anything deliberately and finishing it... even if i can spontaneously realize an idea of what i want to do, there's this impossible threshold of volition that i need to meet in order to actually push myself to even start that task, and then once i start, i need to have absolutely no distractions unless they're there for me to fidget and stimulate my senses to concentrate even more. and even then, fatigue itself is distracting, and i need to be able to stimulate my thoughts in the meantime in a non-disruptive way to train my attention on what i'm doing, even though i may not be paying attention at all
one of the funnier exceptions to this executive dysfunction is found through typing, it's incredibly easy to type if it's a free-flowing stream of conscious thoughts and it's very accessible unlike most other tasks
in this case, anything i "plan" to do is at best a very vague suggestion of a guideline, based on what i intuit myself being likely enough to do
ultimately, i hope that nothing disrupts your flow/routine, cheers :>