13, or so. the first real crush i had, as far as i'm aware.
she's about 2 years older than myself, and had a this kind of radiant optimism that dwarfed my nihilistic aura.
she's an artist, primarily, but she can play the piano, ukulele, and ocarina, without much trouble. nowadays, she's able to work with digital art and animation fairly well. goddamn, playing the piano was fun around her. she also is likely one of the reasons i'm still alive, as she was one of the people that kept me clinging to life to see what it'd offer.
we're still distant friends as of now, but yeah. unsure if i'm entirely over it, but i'm fine with things as they are, although it would've been amazing had something actually happened, but my depressive, nihilistic, and clingy nature probably 100% creeped her out, i'd imagine. she knows of how i felt back then by now, but not much can be done.
now, we're mostly just creative people that check in on each other to see what we've made and compliment each other's work. we can enjoy each other's company, and considering the experience when i attended her post-grad party several months ago, it seems like i'm still particularly awkward around her, as always. the only person i've felt the most awkward and pleasant around. i don't think i'll ever have that again in my life.
alas.
- - -
same question.
