it's a bit easier on my end, luckily. i've had enough shit to go through where i don't really find misfortune or fuck-up-ery to be all that surprising or jarring. i mostly just put up with everything however i can, see to it that i can finally create what i've envisioned, and try to make sure my family lives. that's about it, i guess.
i think, if anything, my immediate family would have to be killed off by some stupid fucked-up shit, and i'd have to be left with no means of making what i love, with no hope of getting anywhere with what i have.
at that point, i think my mind would just shut down, i'd be blank. i'd probably succumb to apathy, unfortunately.
because that's the one point i'm trying to avoid.
i need to see things through.
i can handle a death or two, and i can handle being kicked out, as long as i have some means of making art or music. i can handle not having a laptop or desktop, as long as i know i can crawl out somehow financially or have someone i can rely on.
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SQ.