i don't really have any favourite month,since all month feel same for me

love or money?

Money.


Same question.

Depend on how much money you’re offering :p

🐟 or 🐙

100% answer B.
Fish bones are so dangerous...
(I can eat them, but it just takes me more time because of me being so cautious.)


Milk or cheese?

🧀. I hardly ever drink milk

🌭 or 🍔

Hamburger for the win.

-------------------


“What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.”

I don't really get the question but from what I can get of it I suppose it would be number 2. From my understanding of religion a demon is just an evil god and in this situation that evil god is claiming that you will resurect which no matter how you look at it is something divine. Plus option 1 is pretty unlikely, I am not the kind to curse people when I hear bad news.

SQ

Ok so I’m not the only who have problem understanding the question. Anyway, if the questiom is what it is, then probably 1 since me reliving a lonely life for eternity would already be reality, and the 2 options are basically either admire or despite the demon who did this to you so I think it is more realistic to go with 1

What do you hate about osu the most?

The beatmap ranking system! or the procedure, rather

Same question!

I guess it would be the competitivness of the game. I used to look at gameplay and ranking quite often but I really got sick of the competitive side of osu!, that part of the community seems quite toxic to me.

SQ

Players who manage to get into Maps' "Top 50" with awful performances.
Not the "Try hard" ones, but the real ones scoring something bad in the middle of two honest plays.


One thing you thought it will be bad, but when you experienced/saw/listened/... it, it was at least slightly better than you thought.

The flu shot. I remember being horribly terrified of those xD. Nowadays I'm able to handle them with a slight squint.

SQ

10(or 14?) meter platform water dive

sq

Traveling by plane alone

Sq

Going to a waterpark!

What was your first job?

I am not sure that counts but my mother knew a guy who ran a small restaurant inside of his bus (not sure how those things are called in english). So she recomanded me to him and I worked for him under the table trough one summer. All I had to do was come to his storage and wash a bunch of plastic buckets he used to store his potatoes, it usually took around an hour to clean all of them.

SQ

i worked at the presidential office of finland, media assistant, 2016-2018.

sq

i happen to have just gotten my first job about a week ago, with multiple roles for a really small-scale game development company. we're working on a game engine and have been testing it by creating a story of our own. i've wound up working primarily as the composer (+ sfx), and the pixel/2D artist (+ gfx corrections). naturally, as the game's in heavy development, i'm also an alpha tester and bug reporter.

- - -

what's the most important aspect of a game to you?

How fun it is. As a wise man have said "If it's not fun, why bother?"

sq

controls - if i need to blame the controls for losing/dying a lot, the game sucks. i'm also picky with visuals.

sq

nngh, it's going to have to be a tie between story and visuals. i can stand through a generally not-so-fun control scheme with the idea that i'm going through a pretty lovely and immersive game. storytelling's kind of just what makes certain games shine, and the visuals pull you in and help to establish an aesthetic or mood to really bring out the game's settings and plotlines, as well as even characters. in games where storylines aren't a factor, it's up to the game concept itself. diagonal tetris? hell yeah. traversing a set of galaxies w/ colonies, spaceship combat 'n' whatnot? ...sounds cool, but it's not really the kind of thing i'd easily get into. i've looked over it fairly often, even despite some nice cover art for the games i've seen under that general idea.

- - -

favorite traditional instrument in music?

It's a tie between saxophone and piano. Saxophone sounds so dreadful and at the same time so energetic. Piano is just good

favorite game genre?

Most of my favorite games are RPGs so I'll go with that.


Least favorite video game genre(s)?

Shooter games, can't stand them!
I'm a wimp!

Sq

FPS game. Never find them interesting tbh

Sq

JRPG

sq

As in "I don't get it (psychological)", it would be something around "survival horror".
Although that's just because I didn't look into the context and labeled some games with this tag.
If there's a proper story behind all the blood there is to see, why not.
But for the moment, I just don't get the thing behind "The Walking Dead", "Dead by Daylight", and some other ones I just forgot the names while writing this.

As in "I don't get it (how it works/controls)", it would be "team sports" like "FIFA" and "PES".
And that's just because I never got proper TV consoles and games (I don't know how to call them), only hand-held ones.


Do the transports (underground/subway, bus, and other road vehicles) around your home/country often get slow?

Maybe

Also we don’t even have subway

Sq

I live in Quebec which is very small compared to other large city so our public transport are pretty reliable. Some people complains about them but I don't know where they are coming from since I've used them to travel withing the city for around 7 years and I rarely had issue with it.

SQ

If it's a popular route during the rush hour, for sure. Other than that, not really.

What is your favourite painting and why? Tell me more than just the name.

Tbh, I don’t really care about painting but if I have to say, then probably (I have to search up the name lmao) the persistence of memory. Remembered my teacher gave it to me during my English class and it look reminiscent and kinda nostalgic for some reason

Favorite childhood game

Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2

-----------

Same question.

Super mario world

SQ

Vaguely remember picking up Pokémon Ruby on a GBA-SP as a really young kid. Maybe 2 or 3 years old. Never got to handle a handheld console for another 8 years until I got a 3DS-XL. Nowadays I rarely use it though.


How often do you use public transportation? I always use it, taking the train 12 times a week.

About 10 times a week. 2 times a day. To and from work.

It's a nice 1 hour 30 minute trip one way. 3 hour sink that I just lose. I cant even draw or anything because the rides are too bumpy. It's good for the environment to commute but I cant wait to get a car, I'm tired of wasting so much time out of my day every weekday.

Do you find it easy to keep up relationships? Not romantic ones, but friendships.

...not really.

i have a hard time spending time with everyone. there's a ton of old friends i've yet to catch up with and hardly ever talk to for months. even years.

it's time consuming, but i do enjoy it when i do get the time.

i just wished i had more time, all things considered.

- - -

how much stress and misfortune would it take for you to buckle and shut down?

the human mind can only take so much with its sanity. shit sucks.

It is pretty hard to estimate such a thing because of how foreing the concept truly is if you haven't experienced it,even if you might think you know what you are talking about you are likely wrong. That said, I doubt it would take very much to break me, I would consider myself to be very mentally weak.

SQ

it's a bit easier on my end, luckily. i've had enough shit to go through where i don't really find misfortune or fuck-up-ery to be all that surprising or jarring. i mostly just put up with everything however i can, see to it that i can finally create what i've envisioned, and try to make sure my family lives. that's about it, i guess.

i think, if anything, my immediate family would have to be killed off by some stupid fucked-up shit, and i'd have to be left with no means of making what i love, with no hope of getting anywhere with what i have.

at that point, i think my mind would just shut down, i'd be blank. i'd probably succumb to apathy, unfortunately.

because that's the one point i'm trying to avoid.

i need to see things through.

i can handle a death or two, and i can handle being kicked out, as long as i have some means of making art or music. i can handle not having a laptop or desktop, as long as i know i can crawl out somehow financially or have someone i can rely on.

- - -

SQ.

Suffering in itself is not a bad thing. Rather, there are people who deliberately seek out suffering for themselves.
Humans can overcome almost any misfortune, stress or suffering, and improve from them. Negative impacts can result in positive outcomes.

It's the thought of suffering without any purpose or meaning is what breaks people.
I'm not sure how much would it take for me to "buckle and shutdown", but if it's for the betterment of myself then I will endure. Or at least, I'd try to.
Like it or hate it, the hardships of life helps to shape the person you are today too.
Overcoming life's hardship is almost like getting to know yourself better in that sense.

--------------------

Same question.

I've been there. It's hard to put into words. I'd have to describe the situation and it's too personal and there was *too much* so I wont go into a lot of detail.

I was 16. I had chronic depression because of a string of awful events in my childhood. A lot of my mental and emotional state was tied to a girl I was in love with. She broke up with me. Easily the worst emotional pain I've experienced in my life. It literally felt like someone had jabbed a knife into my chest. I shut down. I have about 3 months where I dont remember anything that happened. Memories just gone. I know I was going to school because my grades didnt tank too hard. The only thing I do remember about that period of time is I rebounded to some other girl because I was young and stupid and she broke up with me too after like 1 month and I've never really been the same after that. Was too much for me.

Not to say that was the only reason it happened. To really get it youd have to understand my childhood which is way too much. Long story short, my life had been completely fucked till that point and I really felt like I needed these people for support. This was more the straw that broke the camel's back than the real kicker. I mean, it did kick pretty fucking hard. Losing someone you love is brutal. But it wasnt the main reason why I shut down.

So yeah, I dunno. A lot. It's hard to describe. But for a couple of months there I really did shut down. The few memories I have from that period of time are lying in bed and being hurt, a few memories with this other girl, her breaking up with me too, and then just nothing. I dont have any idea what happened those months, I had no friends who could tell me what I was doing, and I'm too sensitive about it to ask my family. I'm surprised I even kept going to school though I'm sure I probably skipped a few days. Or maybe I didnt, who knows? Anyway, I think it was the catalyst to me really learning how to shut off my emotions (and struggling with figuring out how to turn them back on again.)


What are some things that you have in your life right now that make you happy?

Quite a few I guess. Friends, games, music, and mangas

Sq

Puzzle wrote:

I've been there. It's hard to put into words. I'd have to describe the situation and it's too personal and there was *too much* so I wont go into a lot of detail.

I was 16. I had chronic depression because of a string of awful events in my childhood. A lot of my mental and emotional state was tied to a girl I was in love with. She broke up with me. Easily the worst emotional pain I've experienced in my life. It literally felt like someone had jabbed a knife into my chest. I shut down. I have about 3 months where I dont remember anything that happened. Memories just gone. I know I was going to school because my grades didnt tank too hard. The only thing I do remember about that period of time is I rebounded to some other girl because I was young and stupid and she broke up with me too after like 1 month and I've never really been the same after that. Was too much for me.

Not to say that was the only reason it happened. To really get it youd have to understand my childhood which is way too much. Long story short, my life had been completely fucked till that point and I really felt like I needed these people for support. This was more the straw that broke the camel's back than the real kicker. I mean, it did kick pretty fucking hard. Losing someone you love is brutal. But it wasnt the main reason why I shut down.

So yeah, I dunno. A lot. It's hard to describe. But for a couple of months there I really did shut down. The few memories I have from that period of time are lying in bed and being hurt, a few memories with this other girl, her breaking up with me too, and then just nothing. I dont have any idea what happened those months, I had no friends who could tell me what I was doing, and I'm too sensitive about it to ask my family. I'm surprised I even kept going to school though I'm sure I probably skipped a few days. Or maybe I didnt, who knows? Anyway, I think it was the catalyst to me really learning how to shut off my emotions (and struggling with figuring out how to turn them back on again.)


What are some things that you have in your life right now that make you happy?

I used to be really depressed too (although arguably, I still am now) so I think I can understand how it felt.
I'm just glad that you're still fine. Keep focusing on your hobbies and your job.

Push on, Puzzle.
Don't you dare go hollow.

OT: Right now, I wouldn't say that I am unhappy but I guess you can say that I am unsatisfied with my life atm.
I am still surrounded by other people's achievements. I just want to earn something that I could proudly call mine.

-------------

Same question.

I don't really own anything that I think makes me happy. I don't really seek out happiness in the first place, I feel like seeking out happiness is something unhealthy for you since you need to spend a lot of resources to get it and that can backfire and make you unhappy, I try to only be satisfied and only seek happiness if it is easy and safe to get. If there is one thing I could say it would be that I am very fortunate with how my life is going and I doubt I would have been able to support suffering a tragic event like I have seen many people on these forums talk about. Though that is a double-edged sword since by having a very fortunate life, I am extremely unprepared to face life and all of the event that are going to happen there.

SQ

i have the ability of acting on my affinities for music and art, being able to create things that i envision.

i have the ability to access and experience the amazing shit people create, getting to immerse myself within entire fictional worlds.

i have people i can talk with and express myself to that can actually withstand my philosophical drivel and idiotic shenanigans.

i have a father that is... supportive enough, somewhat, that he's alright with taking some time to listen and look at the things i create.

i have a bit of hope to overcome apathy, and to ensure that my family and I can manage life safely, the hope that i can actually do this.

- - -

what do you appreciate about what point you're in with life?

A lot. I make good money (and I'm going to start training to actually do repairs on aircraft parts soon so I should end up making more) and I have a good job. That really facilitates me to be able to pursue the things I want - mainly being an artist. That makes me relatively happy, though I really need to get a freaking car. Still waiting on that.

I guess that's all, which is a lot less than I expected. But it leaves me feeling satisfied. Every single day is progress. That adds up over time. I'm slowly becoming a better artist. Saving up money. Working myself to have a nice career and hopefully soon I'll have a car which means a lot more time to chase what I want.

So, yeah. While I'm not bursting with happiness right now I'm definitely satisfied and moving forward.

SQ

i generally appreciate my rather positive mindset for someone that has mood swings. mood swings are probably more stress related, which i am glad it isn't something more worse than that.

i also enjoy the weird personality i got for now. i don't really think anyone really wants to be the awkward person, but i somehow do. its kind of like i am accepting myself as a person... i don't know...

i just... appreciate living, because this world has so much to offer. there are a lot of interesting stuff to see... even if that means new levels of stupidity...

same question

that I come home earlier than my parents, yeah I'm already suffering so much so I can't imagine what it would be like when I'm an adult

when was the last time you kissed someone? suddenly thought of this when I realized I haven't kissed my parents for a month now

years ago, though i don't really recall any exact time period.

the good old days of kissing your parents goodnight as a kid.

that's about it.

- - -

sq.

like 2014 ...

whats ur go to snack ?

lemon cookies, oatmeal cookies, granola bars, and ice cream. either one.

- - -

sq.

Pringles

Sq

I don't really snack. I suppose it would be almonds, since they are my go to food for when I am kinda hungry but aren't able to eat anything. The only food I take even when I am not hungry are various liquid. I drink a lot of water and often drink whatever juice I can find in my fridge or milk. I sometimes even makes myself hot chocolate or coffee for no real reason.

SQ

Arrabbiata pesto flavoured oat chips.

What's the nicest dream you've ever seen?

most dreams i got are extremely surreal, they don't make a single sense... they are barely something nice... for the nicest one, i would pick mostly this, which i would describe it as a minecraft moment...

i was basically playing modded minecraft with some people. i don't know who they are, but i do know that i am extremely happy playing with them. i swear i can just hear true happiness on my voice as stupidity just happens... my dream kinda predicted vr minecraft as well...

the dream went black after getting the nausea effect... then i wake up...

it is one of the nicest dreams i can remember slightly, as all the ones i remember are just weird af...

same question!

i don't recall my dreams very well, but i've had a ton of dreams that give me a fuckton of conflicted yet pleasant feelings.

...and those kinds of dreams have always been about the past. about friends, or places. even an old crush.

being able to talk with old friends, even her again, or standing around and being driven around old places. it's nice.

- - -

sq.

I got a dream in which I was like the girl in music video Shelter but without all the sadness. It was pretty cool.

sq

some lewd dream...

same question

Most of my favourite dreams are incredibly impressive visually, but don't have much of a plot. For example, I've seen dreams recently that are super realistic slice-of-life kinds of dreams, but the sky has some crazy patterns or visible nebulas, or I'm able to fly for some short distances, or the gravity works in a way that you can walk up hills that are almost at a 90 degree angle. Most of these dreams also involve having fun with my friends and I've luckily seen these dreams more often now that I'm very busy.

What famous person would you love to have a dinner and a deep conversation with the most?

Kanye

sq

Emma, the person behind the innumerable aliases of Renard, The Quick Brown Fox, hyi, Halley Hard Sount Unit, Darius, etc.

they make some really good shit.

- - -

sq.

There’re quite a few music artists I want to see. Ice, roughsketch, blacklolita, sakuzyo, taishi, frums, sta, yaseta, feryquitous, nhato, yamajet, etc.


Sq

Naoko Yamada. She is perhaps the only artist I truly love. Most of my favorite artist ends at a "Wow, they are extremely good" but With Naoko Yamada's work it goes far beyond that. Every single show she has directed have been among my absolute favorite of all time and connected to me on a very deep level. She has directed shows such as K-on, Tamako market/love story, Koe no katachi and Liz to aoi tori, all of whom I absolutely adore.

SQ

William Basinski. He's one of the greatest composers of all time and based on a couple interviews and podcasts I've heard, he seems very genuine and thoughtful but witty and snarky.

What's your dream job?

Air Traffic Controller (ATC). Now I'm studying in the aviation branch in order to master it :3

What will you do when you feel depressed?

i generally just listen to music or watch Youtube to distract myself. throwing together a playlist, laying down, and listening to the music, is one of my go-to methods of just trying to relax in general.

i occasionally try to talk with friends or something, but that doesn't always work out.

- - -

sq.

Same as Achro. I just listen to soft music to relax. I was also thinking of learning the euphonium to be able to play the music instead of just listening to it when I feel down.

SQ

im not depressed very often, but when i am watching anime always helps. mostly comedic stuff, anything horrific or tragic doesnt provide enjoyment from suspense, it leads to me becoming sadder because anime girls deserve good things

consider the chemical equation below:
2X(s) + 2H2O(l) ---> 2XOH(aq) + H2(g)
out of all elements that X could be, which is your favorite and why?

X could be anything X wants and I will always love X


What’s your favorite country and why?

In term of entertainment Japan is obviously at the top. In term of countries I would actually live in I'd say every nordics country seems like very nice places with very high quality of life and cool weather much like my own country.

SQ

any country from europe,because they don't censor cow breast on tv

same question

The best I've been to is Japan, extremely fun place to hang around in, their language is so beautiful and the historic and cultural elements were top notch gorgeous. I also loved the arcades, they made it easy to have cheap fun when you had nothing else to do, and the vending machines and konbinis were super convenient for getting pre-prepared meals and drinks super easily, something we don't really have in Finland. However I do love my homecountry for its climate and nature and it's much easier to live here for a number of reasons, free healthcare, free schools etc.

What would you do if you knew you only had 24 hours to live?

honestly, it's still quite a tough situation to be in. only so much could be done.

with things as they are now, i'd try to get in touch with friends and all, and get straight to work on music and art for the game i'm working on for my team.

i'll try to get as much done as i reasonably can to leave them off with as many useful assets for the game, so they can show it off and make something fucking amazing for others to experience.

i wish i could make my animation series, but sadly, i can't realistically do anything there within that scenario. so, my dreams there are a bit crushed.

- - -

same question.

oh dear the wave of sadness is heavy on this one... this is depressing...

i don't think i would have time to do what i would do anyways... all i can do due to how much my mood would have been affected is be depressed. i would have been in tears, staring at the wall...

i would be trying my best to have fun on the last day of my life, but i feel like it is all gonna hurt in the end. me dying already affects my family very badly. that would be in my mind... it wouldn't make me do what i want to do for the last day... it would be what killed my mood...

worse part would be that i barely did much imo, i am too young for this... it makes my life kind of useless to me... all because i barely did much in this world.

so even if i would do anything, just... anything to make a good impact, my mood is going to be killed first which ends up ruining the last day of my life...

i just... dont like it... i don't want to leave this world yet in such a young age... i want to grow and achieve...


how was your childhood?

Alright I guess, as one could expect I'd be more carefree than nowadays. Parents took real good care of me, can't remember much beyond that. What defines your feelings about childhood are probably so vague to you now. Since I'm not able to provide a more insightful answer, I would like to pass down this same question to the next person.

A person's childhood can vary greatly, and can dramatically shape you into who you've likely become. There's quite a bit you can judge it by, but it's not quite all that easy all the time, so, eh.

On my end, my childhood was... comparably nicer than things are now.

Everything afterwards has been hell, and nothing less.

- - -

SQ.

Not exaggerating, but my childhood is exactly identical to those shitty korean drama TV shows (minus the last part where the main villains either die or get thrown in jail, and the part that the third wheel is a bad guy/girl). It’s both funny and kinda emotionally exhausted for me at the same time

Have you ever lived in a dorm

My childhood was pretty unventfull. Back when I was in primary school, I remember being very dumb and I truly hate how I used to be. In this time I would try to get friend and try to conform to other's people taste to get any. I only really had one close friend who I knew from childhood, as well as two other friend whom I met up with less often.

Then I moved from my small town to the big city of Quebec. At my new school I still tried to find friend and I managed to get into a group of friend, but later in the year I caused an event that made me loose all of my friend. After that I have never had any close relationship and gradually lost interest in getting relationship up until I didn't want any anymore. My school grade were also very bad back then, I only barely passed in every category, which is extremely bad for primary school, where it is very easy fo succeed.

A new chapter opened in my life when I entered secondary school and was able to reset to zero. There I was put in a class for people who didn't have good grade aka a dumb kids class since my grade in primary school were so terrible. My grade went up dramatically after that, probably because in that time all I ever did was school and watching video on youtube, I didn't have any friend and didn't try to find any. There was a small group of people whom I often met but we weren't really close friend. We just met up at lunch time.

Then came my third year of secondary school. I had also switched school at that time because my previous school only supported the two first year of secondary school. In this school I was put back in a normal class since my grade had improved. At this school, I decided to join a team of robotics where as a team, we must build a robot that can compete in a game. This was the single best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life.

At that point I changed a lot. In the first year of robotics I didn't do much, if at all but on the second year is where my life changed. I decided to join the programming team of robotics, since I wasn't really good at building and I thought it might be cool to learn what programming was. I also met up with a lot of people who watched anime. They told me to watch anime and I did, anime later became on of the greatest learning experience I ever got so the fact that I decided to start watching it frmo the robotics team just adds to its value. In robotics I ahve learned how to socialise, I get interested in programming, I discovered anime. It was the greatest thing that happened to me.

At the same time as my fourth year of secondary school (aka second year of robotics). I kinda got fed up with french and decided to only use my computer in english from that point on. That also changed me a lot. Not only did I become proficient in english, but that fact also got me closer to the internet culture. Above all, being close to the internet culture introduced me to nightcore music. Before, I thought that music was cringy and didn't listen to it, I remnant of the time where I would try to get friend by adapting my taste to theirs. But since I was now in a very intimate situation, I felt happy to try out music for the very first time. Nightcore was what introduced me to both music as a whle but also anime (I was already interested in anime before my friend told me about it, they just kinda guided me into the medium). I ahve now moved on from nightcore music, only listening to my old nightcore which I still like from that time, but the impact they had on me was massive.

This summer was also very important to me. It's where I coded my first proper project, it's when I realised that anime had actually taught me life lesson, it's where I left my first job after 3 years of working there, it's where I was first truly hearthborken and it's where I finally will start to learn an instrument.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got necro'd. To answer AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH's question, no I have nver lived in a dorm

Pentaqola wrote:

how was your childhood?

Very uneventful until elementary school. I liked the time in school, until I started getting bullied. I spent most of my time on YouTube during its early years and had a fairly popular Pokémon Diamond walkthrough channel, lol. I don't remember many details about my childhood. As I said, it was pretty uneventful. Never had a dad and my mom never wanted to do anything fun. She was just strict, but in a wrong way. Spent all my time outdoors alone with my headphones on, as I wasn't even allowed to use the computer for more than an hour per day until I finally got my own laptop. That's about it.

What would your death row last meal be like?

the same frozen burritos i've heated up from the store, preferably the El Monterey brand.

a tub of vanilla ice cream.

a box of Bacon flavored Ritz crackers.

a bag of Carmen's, a fairly obscure brand of wheat chips,

and a bag of Doritos Dinamita chips.

that's about it.

I'd eat as much of it as I'd be comfortable with.

I can't do much of anything in that situation, so nothing i do there really has much of an impact, so the foods up there are about as ambitious as i'd get, as i like them quite a bit.

eh.

- - -

sq.

A bag of habanero chips, a big cup of raspberries and blueberries, sachertorte, a Neapolitan style pizza & fried softshell crab with country style fries. With food I'd drink milk and after the meal I'd have an energy drink, wouldn't want to fall asleep while being executed.

same q

Pringles original

Sq

Dont really know, but probably a tons of fast food. I’ve always restricted myself from eating them, even though they are pretty good so before death comes, I’d probably break the rule and satisfy myself

Sq

kebab pizza

sq

Feels weird, if I have to eat before dying.
I'd rather skip the main dish and get to the sweet dessert. Some fruity ones, preferably (baker's cake).


What's one thing you've left aside for a long while, and still haven't touched it even once/made any progress on it?

Pretty much everything. I have zero motivation.

Sq

basically all of my plans to make 7* or 8* maps, because I'm lazy/don't have enough time recently due to school

same question

Many of my map projects. Either I'm too lazy or I lose motivation

What do you enjoy the most about school?

The reason why I like school is because exam to me feel like challenge to overcome. The teacher hands you over the resources you need and you need to use your mind to beat the challenge. I am a pretty competitive person but there is almost nothing I can compete in with just my ability to quickly learn new concept. To me school feels like a competition and since I have never had an hobby, it never felt like it was eating away at anything so I was fully commited to it.

Now that I am about to start playing the euphonium my view might change, I am actually pretty stressed about going to university, I am not sure if I am gonna be able to handle it.

SQ

Getting to study something I'm legitimately interested in, making friends and getting to know future colleagues, learning new languages and just in general having something to do other than a minimum wage job.

same q

I only seem to enjoy the learning process. I don't really find myself comfortable around other people, and I always prefer to work alone. I tried making friends in elementary school, but I was never good with girls. When I entered a boys' high school, I decided to give up on socializing entirely.

What sort of things do you keep from your childhood? Physical objects, memories and experiences, etc.

I keep my old toys from my past, I don't even play with them. (why should I?)

Do you like the Triangles intro in osu!lazer or Circles better?

Never tried either.

What instrument would you like to learn to play?

I have been pretty vocal about it. It's obviously the euphonium. I have already ordered it and I should be getting it on monday.

SQ

guitar,would love to be able to play like thr guitarist in undead corporation

same question

The saxophone or the transverse flute.

same q

I'd love to learn drums or singing! And to get motivated to play the guitar again.

Do you ever think about questions we don't know the answer to (such as where our morality came from, or how we came to exist)?

Yeah, quite often, especially when it's like 3am and I can't sleep.

same q

I question some of my life choices in primary school and my current state, currently I have a qualified GD which was disqualified months ago. I regret making it, it's actually pretty bad looking back at it. Of course, I would wonder about the past as well, before I was born. Minds smarter than mine... What was their full life like? And so on.

What gets you irrationally anxious? For me it's taking feedback for my maps; it's ironic because I ask for it all the time. Sometimes I don't know how to respond to objective points and things like that, but I also don't want to go through the dreaded process of figuring out how to fix something.

About anything that touches me but that I can't control or that I can't understand.

SQ