Choo Choo! All aboard the "can't figure out what the hell we're doing" train. The OT government shows no signs of stopping
Hello denizens. It's Puzzle Y. Pop again, and I'm here with another article and exclusive interview on what's going down in the OT government. This time, we'll be talking with Royal Scientist Abraker, who has recently been voted into parliament. Congrats, Abraker!
Ready for another shit show? Camera... Lights... Action!
Interview with Royal Scientist Abraker
-
Q.) So, from my research so far, it looks like you're the one who really pushed for the creation of an OT!Government. What inspired you to start it, and are you happy with how things have turned out so far?
A.) "I did not spark the creation of the OT!Government. Like with ot!neus, someone else sparked the idea first and I went ahead and facilitated a place of operation to perform the necessary activities. I am happy with how things are turning out so far. One my missions as Head of OT Royal Society of Quality is to maintain quality, and the stimulation of OT provides opportunities to generate further content, stories and ideas. The idea began with Tad Fibonacci's launch of the presidential election and, with my help, has expanded into a group of denizens who now create their own stories and content."
Q.) So Tad was the one who sparked the idea, and you've been the facilitator?
A.) "Yes. Tad Fibonacci requested me to facilitate via the creation of a place for operations. TeeArctic and Achromalia were one of the first supporters of the idea of course."
Q.) Interesting. How long have you known Mister Tad?
A.) "I have known Tad since when he first came to OT. It was an interesting entry too - a total wreckage of trees in OT." (Here, Abraker was kind enough to provide me a link to said thread. https://osu.ppy.sh/community/forums/topics/862127?start=6958948)
Q.) What's your opinion of him as a politician? How well do you think he has handled the Tadpole Bombing incident?
A.) "Tad may not be the best politician on the surface, but he is the best we had for a long, long time. I think he is handling the Tadpole Bombing incident as best as he can. To be honest, the incident is barely anything compared to what went down in OT's past."
Q.) I see. Do those past incidents have anything to do with the OT government?
A.) "Those past incidents are the direct proof why the OT Government is needed. I have seen 4 eras in OT, so I lived through a lot. When you consider the worst that could happen, the Tadpole Bombing incident, while awful, does not come close to the truly horrendous things. The Tadpole Bombing incident was a wreckage of environment, yes, but stack that against neglect for denizen rights and injustice. Eras were plagued by Lords who neglected denizens and locked threads on their own volition. Consider the injustice for screwing denizens with mind control theory and hijacking A-Breaking Laboratory to steal my technology, for which the court ruled not guilty. Consider a candidate running for president who has allegedly applied vote manipulation methods. So as you can see, the mere bombing of an inhabited area is pretty petty compared to other things that went down."
Q.) Would you mind explaining to me the discrepancy between reports before and after the Tadpole Bombing? Specifically, in the Tad the Tadpole thread, Tad claims that denizens were evacuated before the area was nuked. However, your own contamination report contradicts this assertion, and you state there were never any citizens in the area. (Source: https://osu.ppy.sh/community/forums/topics/927243)
I also have it on good authority that denizens were, in fact, living in the area at the time of the nuke. Do you have a response to that?
And why did Tad claim that the area would be uninhabitable for some time after the detonation, yet later contradicted himself by saying that the virus was eradicated and there was no nuclear fallout?
A.) "The report is correct and there were no denizens living in the area. However, if there were denizens visiting, then they should have been evacuated. The area is uninhabitable due to the presence of a classified substance, which should not be confused with nuclear fallout. The nature of the bomb was not nuclear to begin with. Tad might have thought that the Trashipitus virus would be eradicated in the area using the bomb, be he did not really know what happened to the virus at that point in time."
Q.) Tad comments in the thread that the virus was eradicated successfully. Any statements on that?
A.) "Tad is not aware that the virus was not eradicated."
Q.) Tad launched the bomb, despite the payload of the weapon being "unknown", as mentioned in your report, and misleadingly claimed that the weapon was a nuke. In future statements, Tad makes no effort to disprove the claims that the weapon was, in fact, not a nuclear missile. Was Tad aware of what type of weapon he was launching at the Tad the Tadpole thread?
A.) "I do not know any details concerning Tad's choice of the weapon used nor where he acquired such a weapon."
Q.) So the only thing you are aware of is the fact that the bomb Tad used on the Tad the Tadpole thread was not of a nuclear payload? In regards to the type of weapon used, that is.
A.) "I know that bomb used is not of a nuclear payload and that it caused thread-post continuum distortion, which created the before mention classified substance."
Q.) What's your opinion of the recent outcropping of rumors that Tad is, in fact, a mutant frog-human hybrid?
A.) "My experimentation with frogs ended with Blitzfrog's leave as my research assistant. Yet the records remain, and someone may have stole that info to do experiments of their own."
Q.) Oh really? Do you have any knowledge of security breaches that may have led to those records being stolen?
A.) "As a matter of fact, yes. Some while ago Ashton broke into A-Breaking Laboratory and hijacked my operations and went on to create Asht. Co which he later ceased.
A court case determined that Asht. Co was not guilty, however, a lot of evidence was tampered with."
(Once again, Abraker was kind enough to provide me with sources and references.)
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6947496: Ashton slips into A-Breaking Laboratory
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6948530: Ashton allegedly plans for denizen mind control
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6948548: Asht. Co is being threatened by multiple law suits
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6949337: Asht. Co moves toward production and testing of its new tech
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6949949: Abraker declares lawsuit against Asht. Co
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6956061: OT Court II: A-Breaking Laboratory & R.O.S.Q. vs Asht. Co
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6966988: Asht. Co ceases operations
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/p/6983278: Tad releases footage of Asht. Co being raided
Interesting. That's all the questions I have for you today. Thank you, Royal Scientist Abraker.
"You're welcome."
Now, President Achromalia's interview was a lot to unpack, but this is more like ordering 572 doujinshi's from Amazon and wondering how the hell you're supposed to open all these goddamn boxes when you're so freaking horny. Luckily, I have great self control - never fear, OT Denizens.
Skipping straight to the meat of things - Royal Scientist Abraker comments that Tad "may not be the best politician on the surface", but he's "handling the Tadpole Bombing incident as best he can". This, to me, is already a little suspect because we all know how great a politician Tad is - he's a cunning mastermind when it comes to navigating the political waters. Honestly, this just reads like your standard PR damage control statement - this is what you do when you're up shit creek and trying to cover for your buddy who lost BOTH of your paddles, so instead you start using your hands to puddle through all the shit to try and make it out of the mess alive. Respectable effort, Abraker, but we know what the situation is - you guys dun goofed.
Abraker then proceeds to try and deflect my questions of political brevity by making a few comments on how bad things used to be. And you know what? I respect that. He's right. Things were, in the past, pretty shitty here. But does that excuse your fuck-up of a government right now? No, not really. Just because it used to be awful doesn't mean it's okay if it's still shitty. It means you all need to do a better job.
But the part that really bothers me about this is that Abraker goes so far as to say that Tadpole Bombing, in effect, wasn't really that bad. And I quote - "So as you can see, mere [sic] bombing of an inhabited area is pretty petty compared to other things that went down."
Excuse me? What the actual fuck, Abraker? Are you sitting here trying to tell me that launching bombs everywhere and blowing shit up isn't really that bad? You can't just explain away the atrocities of the present by comparing them to the horrors of the past. It doesn't make it any better. Don't get me wrong, I'll golfclap all day and congratulate the fuck out of you for progress, but I'm not gonna sit around and accept casually throwing missiles and weapons around and blowing things up just because you feel like it.
But that's still not the best part. No, no, here's the best part - I found a slip-up. I want you guys to analyze the wording he used. Specifically - ... "bombing of an inhabited area" ...
"Inhabited area". There it is, folks. The cats out of the fucking bag.
An evacuation of denizens in an area that toally isn't habitable at all, but by the way, it's also habitable. Only frogs lived there, except no frogs lived there, because it's a swamp with no fresh water (I mean, seriously?) and there were no remains of any frogs found except, you know, only frogs lived there. But they didn't. Also, there were no denizens living there - but the area was inhabited.
Come on, OT. At this point it's just blatant. Abraker doesn't even try to answer my questions about explaining why there are discrepancies in the government reports. He just defaults to "This is the way it is"; without explaining why it was ever claimed to be different. NOT ONLY THAT, but Abraker also goes on to state that the area was - keyword being was - uninhabitable due to a classified substance, AND LATER CLAIMS THE SUBSTANCE WAS CREATED BY THE WEAPON USED ON THE TREAD.
Contradictory statements left, right, and center. Slip-up's, redacted reports, missiles being launched without the President's approval - oh, and by the way, we don't really even know what was in the fucking missile because we're geniuses and we launch weapons that we don't understand - except it was a nuke and Tad claimed it was a nuke and never corrected me when I mentioned the words nuclear missile - viruses in inhabited areas, swamps that apparently don't have any water, frogs that are evidently descended from Schrodinger's cat, because they exist and also don't fucking exist at the same time -
Come on. This is a mess. Plain and simple. And something is obviously up. Now, I try to keep these pieces objective - even though they're opinion piece articles - I try not to go too hard on the consipracy theorist angle on these ones. That's a different type of crazy I save for my other articles. But COME ON. I can't be the only one hearing "Helloooo? Conspiracy? Cover-up?" In my head right now.
And apparently, Abraker has experimented with Frogs in the past... and was also around when Tad first joined the forums. Tad. Tadpole.
Maybe the jokes just hit a little too close to home, eh, Tad?