MANILA WATER ANUNAAAAA PUUUTAAAA

I feel like a grandlady

I'm kinda hungry

i hate doing nothing all day, i need to find something

I need a cigarette, like right now or i will explode.

sorry. haven't been here in a while.

writing this real quick at the hotel before i sleep, i'm fucking exhausted.

my 91-year-old paternal grandfather's in the hospital. he's doin' really shitty, thanks to a lot of compounding issues.

two big things right now are pneumonia and dementia. he might not last much longer, but we hope he'll make it. guess we'll see.

he's hanging on for today it seems. lots of family members came by. some he'll recognize, a few he won't.

checking on him tomorrow morning. been with him for a long while now so we gotta get rest.

seeya.

Banana!

MY HANDA RE SO ITHCY

im really stressed, im really confused, im being introduced to a lot of feelings im not really to feel yet.

i know everythings gonna get better, its just takin its sweet time to do so.

i have so many things to think about.

my mind is really bouncing all around

charamaru wrote:

im really stressed, im really confused, im being introduced to a lot of feelings im not really to feel yet.

i know everythings gonna get better, its just takin its sweet time to do so.

i have so many things to think about.

my mind is really bouncing all around

Yikes

Hang in there, Chara.

home.

finally, we're home from being at the hospital with gramps. frankly put, if he somehow survives this, he'll never be the same. there isn't much hope in his future and he'll revert to poor self-care, not drinking enough water as opposed to the cans and cans of sodas he drinks, not taking his meds, working instead of resting.

he would need an oxygen tank on him as well.

we were there for two days, sleeping in a nearby hotel. he's gone through some shit. just prior to our visit, he had been unable to sleep for 4 days. his heart was managing to function on a 15-17% rate. his right lung has yet to have been drained of its water.

we enjoyed our time talking with him despite this, acting hopeful, doing what we could to help by letting him rest and closing the door so it'd be quiet for him.

at some point on the 2nd day, we were in the waiting room. having just left the room for a doctor to come in and do an x-ray, things looked promising. a little under half an hour, we were told that his blood pressure dramatically dropped. a respiratory specialist of sorts gave him a treatment that allowed him to breathe better, and we came in a little while afterwards.

we stayed for another couple hours. he gradually perked up and would talk to us, seeming rather lucid. we joked a bit, described where each of us were in our lives, and we made him feel loved, from us just being there for him throughout these days.

we took a few photos of the three generations of the same-name family. him, his son, (my dad), and me. all of us share the same name, only with varying middle names.

we did our best.

everything was exhausting.

he has held on so far.

we can only hope.

but now, we're home.

hello.

Welcome back home Achro, glad to have you back, and glad you got a few good moments amidst the chaos.

Still working, although the focus has changed to the landsmeet next weekend. Looking forward to it, although juggling so many balls in the air is kind of exhausting. Also need to go to the dentist, I have a toothache. Problem with that being that it's ridiculously expensive and I'm gonna be extremely strapped for cash these next few months. Oh well, I guess everything sorts itself out eventually.

wow these forums are still cool

Tired and bored and annoyed

Nothing seems fun anymore.
Twitter, TV, osu!, anime, doing anything...

Where did that enthusiasm go?
It just went out the door, like my ability to want to care anymore.

Just make it stop.

Want wine

Mmmm wine, do you get wine at sermons? Boutta earn some cash, perks of playing an instrument

TeeArctic1 wrote:

Mmmm wine, do you get wine at sermons? Boutta earn some cash, perks of playing an instrument

Good4u o:

A shower feels relaxing

3/5

remember when i said i was dating again

lol

regardless, im getting tired of waiting, but there isnt much i can do about it

oh well

I need sleep
I need rest

Last day!

Meah wrote:

Last day!

Hi Meah

Idk if you remember me

Status: Browsing forum games like I did some 6~ years ago
Not really sure why

just finished episode 7 of violet evergarden

this show is amazing

im upset with myself for putting this off for so long

i feel like i owe my life to violet

charamaru wrote:

just finished episode 7 of violet evergarden

this show is amazing

im upset with myself for putting this off for so long

i feel like i owe my life to violet

Yeah, that show's really good. The visuals is one of the best imo.

OT: pooping.

work in 7 hours. it's my friday yay! weekend time!

Puzzle wrote:

Meah wrote:

Last day!

Hi Meah

Idk if you remember me

Status: Browsing forum games like I did some 6~ years ago
Not really sure why

I do I do

Status: Overslept 😶😶😶

Meah wrote:

I do I do

Status: Overslept 😶😶😶

This is good news

I mean, not the oversleeping, but the remembering~
In contrast, my status is:

I just woke up after 5 hours of sleep. I can't go back to bed. Oh well.

You're pretty active back then though I forgot how long was it since. Avatar though is that Tenka? @puzzle

Status: i wanna eat unripe mangoes

Meah wrote:

You're pretty active back then though I forgot how long was it since. Avatar though is that Tenka? @puzzle

Status: i wanna eat unripe mangoes

I actually don't know. Purples my favorite color and I like tsundere's and she has a tusndere expression/look. And the artworks pretty good. So I use it as a profile pic. Sorry~

Status: Kind of just hanging out right now. Tired after playing osu so much. I'm taking a break.

i finished violet evergarden. i am utterly stunned. i don’t think i’ll ever be able to cry another tear again, i’m fresh out! incredibly moving, beautifully animated, i just.. wow.

i would do anything to give anime girl violet a hug.

or anybody..

please watch this show.

Status: Gonna sleep soon. It's been a pretty enjoyable day. Got to relax, play Osu, play FG. Even did a bit of drawing though I'm trying not to right now. But hey, it was fun. Hope the rest of the FG people enjoy their days/nights.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pki3qb5QkhE

idk...

bumping old threads

Journal wrote:

bumping old threads

Some of them are pretty interesting

Status: Posting stuff on FG before work cause

I unno

It's fun

imagine being me and thinking that other people were the problem, when in fact i was the problem all along

charamaru wrote:

imagine being me and thinking that other people were the problem, when in fact i was the problem all along

It happens to a lot of people. The best thing you can do now is focus on improving. Discovering things like this always feel so fucking shitty, down to the core. But it's better to be aware of a problem than unaware. You can't fix an issue if you dont know it exists. Now if you take steps towards trying to be better, you can.

Let me reiterate: it happens to a lot of people. Try not to get too down on yourself.

Status: really busy day at work. Finally got some time to break. Thank god.

After all this damn time, I managed to get a song out on Soundcloud. I now have my newest release, Atrophy, up on there.

i can finalyl relax aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Hopefully people like it ;w;

https://soundcloud.com/achromatism/atrophy

singing along to carly rae jepsen songs while alone in my room past midnight

what am i doing

charamaru wrote:

singing along to carly rae jepsen songs while alone in my room past midnight

what am i doing

Living the life, that's what you're doing. I used to do stuff like that all the time.

Status: can't sleep. There was some kind of shoot-out near my apartment. Hard to sleep with that going on.