8:16pm i'm pissed since i can't fc this map, and none of my mates are online to talk. I have nothing to do.
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6.23pm
What's taking my laptop so long to install updates?
What's taking my laptop so long to install updates?
17:38
Kids are kind of cute, but I'm so glad I don't have take care of any full-time
Kids are kind of cute, but I'm so glad I don't have take care of any full-time
12 midnight
What am I still doing awake?
What am I still doing awake?
14:06.
I don't know what to think of you anymore. I'm confused more than yesterday. Was everything I did just an act of friendship?
Stop confusing me. Stop leaving me in the dark. I don't know what's going on with you, and I want to. Let me in so you can open up. I came around and talked to you initially because you were hurting. I didn't want to do nothing. It wasn't fake. I wanted to care about you, but it never happened because you didn't let me in enough. I talked with you, sure, but it wasn't talking. It was just "I'm here for you and I want to let you know I love you." Even then, I don't know if your "love you too"'s are real or fake. I love you. I have feelings and thoughts about you that I can't explain. I don't want to explain it to anybody else.
I just want to talk. Not as some "best friend", but as someone you're comfortable with opening up to. I'm not the last guy you were dating. I'm not just some guy that gets satisfied with physical interaction, however serious that may be. I care, but I don't know if you want me to or if you just want me around to be funny or whatever. You say I'm sweet and stuff in our conversations, but never let me express it much outside of those conversations. I want to get to know you more, but you say you're never allowed to go out, even though you get Uber/Lyft drivers to pick you up from school and take you places.
Just talk with me.
I don't know what to think of you anymore. I'm confused more than yesterday. Was everything I did just an act of friendship?
Stop confusing me. Stop leaving me in the dark. I don't know what's going on with you, and I want to. Let me in so you can open up. I came around and talked to you initially because you were hurting. I didn't want to do nothing. It wasn't fake. I wanted to care about you, but it never happened because you didn't let me in enough. I talked with you, sure, but it wasn't talking. It was just "I'm here for you and I want to let you know I love you." Even then, I don't know if your "love you too"'s are real or fake. I love you. I have feelings and thoughts about you that I can't explain. I don't want to explain it to anybody else.
I just want to talk. Not as some "best friend", but as someone you're comfortable with opening up to. I'm not the last guy you were dating. I'm not just some guy that gets satisfied with physical interaction, however serious that may be. I care, but I don't know if you want me to or if you just want me around to be funny or whatever. You say I'm sweet and stuff in our conversations, but never let me express it much outside of those conversations. I want to get to know you more, but you say you're never allowed to go out, even though you get Uber/Lyft drivers to pick you up from school and take you places.
Just talk with me.
4:10 PM.
not sure what to do now.
there's music and art to be done.
maybe later.
still tired.
phone's on low battery, shit.
wait, did i forget to get water?
ffs.
not sure what to do now.
there's music and art to be done.
maybe later.
still tired.
phone's on low battery, shit.
wait, did i forget to get water?
ffs.
9:54 PM.
I should probably take a shit.
I haven't taken care of myself very well as of late, especially with that hospital incident.
I should probably take a shit.
I haven't taken care of myself very well as of late, especially with that hospital incident.
6.17pm
I'm going back to school for an Easter stayover tonight. Looks like I'll have to hold off farming until tomorrow.
I'm going back to school for an Easter stayover tonight. Looks like I'll have to hold off farming until tomorrow.
12:56 PM PST.
I'll hopefully be able to relax today.
I showed my dad what I've made so far. His response is pretty promising, I think this'll work out. Though I'm not sure when it'll be finished, I believe it'll be released someday soon. We'll see.
On the other hand, I'll have to figure out the art for it.
I'll hopefully be able to relax today.
I showed my dad what I've made so far. His response is pretty promising, I think this'll work out. Though I'm not sure when it'll be finished, I believe it'll be released someday soon. We'll see.
On the other hand, I'll have to figure out the art for it.
11:48PM
1:00AM
I've hit nothing, and there's a mosquito...
*Conspiracy intensifies*
At this point, it's a conspiracy, that I'm living.45Traeath wrote:
*All the "raging", "swearing", whatever damnation one would say for a mistake.*
1:00AM
I've hit nothing, and there's a mosquito...
*Conspiracy intensifies*
9:28 PM.
I haven't gotten anything done this time.
I'm too tired today.
I haven't gotten anything done this time.
I'm too tired today.
09:21 am
I really should get better at keeping in touch with my family
I really should get better at keeping in touch with my family
12:40 AM
I'm thinking that my first level is a bit too difficult. Like I'm trying to make it a difficult game but it may be too difficult for a first level where players are still trying to get a feel for the mechanics.
Maybe I'll ask my friends to try it out tomorrow. Depending on their response I may tone it down or add health recovery pick-ups to make it easier? Dunno. It was pretty fun to make, although before I knew it it was already 12:40 AM. Ah geez.
I'm thinking that my first level is a bit too difficult. Like I'm trying to make it a difficult game but it may be too difficult for a first level where players are still trying to get a feel for the mechanics.
Maybe I'll ask my friends to try it out tomorrow. Depending on their response I may tone it down or add health recovery pick-ups to make it easier? Dunno. It was pretty fun to make, although before I knew it it was already 12:40 AM. Ah geez.
23:05 Should I sleep now or at 0:00?
6.29am
Great, I have a geography test today. Absolutely perfect...
Nah, I do okay, I just don't like it sometimes lol
Great, I have a geography test today. Absolutely perfect...
Nah, I do okay, I just don't like it sometimes lol
4:29 am
...fuck
...fuck
8:10
This thread is good for letting out how you feel and clearing your head. I really appreciate this. I do often have tons of stuff I just need to get out of my head!
I hope that Mary will be happy with my work. I couldn't do much because I find that it's really hard to reflect on positive and negative qualities about yourself. My list is also mostly negative. I'm quite nervous for being with her today. We arranged for playing golf, and I've never done this before!
This thread is good for letting out how you feel and clearing your head. I really appreciate this. I do often have tons of stuff I just need to get out of my head!
I hope that Mary will be happy with my work. I couldn't do much because I find that it's really hard to reflect on positive and negative qualities about yourself. My list is also mostly negative. I'm quite nervous for being with her today. We arranged for playing golf, and I've never done this before!
Carmlillball wrote:
8:10
This thread is good for letting out how you feel and clearing your head. I really appreciate this. I do often have tons of stuff I just need to get out of my head!
I hope that Mary will be happy with my work. I couldn't do much because I find that it's really hard to reflect on positive and negative qualities about yourself. My list is also mostly negative. I'm quite nervous for being with her today. We arranged for playing golf, and I've never done this before!
You’ll be okay. Don’t stress too much. Good luck and have fun with Mary.
2:36 a.m.
heading out for a run
Journal wrote:
Carmlillball wrote:
8:10
This thread is good for letting out how you feel and clearing your head. I really appreciate this. I do often have tons of stuff I just need to get out of my head!
I hope that Mary will be happy with my work. I couldn't do much because I find that it's really hard to reflect on positive and negative qualities about yourself. My list is also mostly negative. I'm quite nervous for being with her today. We arranged for playing golf, and I've never done this before!
You’ll be okay. Don’t stress too much. Good luck and have fun with Mary.
2:36 a.m.
heading out for a run
I really do appreciate the reply.
Seems like a really early run. I assume it's quieter during that time?
2:53 AM PST.
Spent a lot of time writing a whole essay in the forums.
But the conversation revolving around the topic should be interesting, I think.
Hopefully it'll remain civil, since it's normally a pretty heated subject.
Spent a lot of time writing a whole essay in the forums.
But the conversation revolving around the topic should be interesting, I think.
Hopefully it'll remain civil, since it's normally a pretty heated subject.
~22:31~
Today has been very emotional. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. But I'm pretty sure I have an art exam tomorrow. I'm very much behind on the coursework mainly for anxiety-induced issues. I hope the exam will help with the grade. At least being with Mary was great. Done some new things for the first time. Turned out very well. Her emails are so sweet. She's definitely an inspiration to me. <3
Today has been very emotional. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. But I'm pretty sure I have an art exam tomorrow. I'm very much behind on the coursework mainly for anxiety-induced issues. I hope the exam will help with the grade. At least being with Mary was great. Done some new things for the first time. Turned out very well. Her emails are so sweet. She's definitely an inspiration to me. <3
8.15pm
Gathering some thoughts on my mapping from experienced mappers. I mostly need to pay attention to the way I do my switching of circular flow... I don't think about it consciously all the time. I'll need to pay more attention the next time I map something.
Gathering some thoughts on my mapping from experienced mappers. I mostly need to pay attention to the way I do my switching of circular flow... I don't think about it consciously all the time. I'll need to pay more attention the next time I map something.
9.33pm
My next test will be for additional mathematics. Why am I not worried? I should really study for it tomorrow.
My next test will be for additional mathematics. Why am I not worried? I should really study for it tomorrow.